


Unsteady

by iilarryii



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Harry, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Depressed Harry, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Top Louis, mentions of selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-06 23:04:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 93,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iilarryii/pseuds/iilarryii
Summary: "Some day this voice is going to make you feel worthless."
"It already has."
Or an AU where Harry is depressed and Louis wants to help.
__
Warnings! Might be triggering for some! Mentions of self-harm, and self-hatred





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic, I hope you'll enjoy :)

Harry felt invisible.

It wasn't unusual feeling, most of the time he felt like this.

When hanging out with his friends, he felt unwanted. With his family he felt like they were expecting him to do better and better- nothing seemed to be good enough. When he met new people he felt judged, despite how nice they were. And alone? Alone Harry's thoughts went wild.

Because when he was alone, there was nothing to distract his mind from running.

Like now, for example, he was standing in front of his mirror examining his body.

_Look at yourself, you're pathetic._

_You shouldn't eat with that stomach._

_You look disgusting no wonder you live alone._

Harry turns sideways to look at his pudgy stomach and hips that he just couldn't get rid of. He had tried pretty much everything, but it was still there. Even his mother had bought him some kind of weight loss pills, but they didn't work out.

He turns his eyes to his bum, frowning because of the size of it. It was too big. Boys shouldn't have so big bums- at least that's what he was told.

He was supposed to leave in half an hour to meet Niall, but he was still clued to the floor. He had to shower and dress up, but even thinking about the looks he was most likely going to get, terrified him.

Niall had forced Harry to come with him to a party. Parties meant new people and new people meant anxiety to Harry.

He had tried to come up with an excuse for why he couldn't come, but Niall wasn't having it. The blonde boy knew about Harry's disliking toward that kind of places.

The boy sighs walking away from the mirror and into the bathroom, where he stripped down from his clothes.

Harry was careful not to look at himself from the cabinet mirror as he made his way to the shower. He started the shower and while he waited for the water to get warm enough the looked down to his wrists.

No, he didn't self-harm.

Harry had tried to but was always too scared to actually grab the razor and do it. He would never even think about using a knife since it'd be too hard to control.

He didn't want to die. At least, not _yet_.

He had scratched his wrist quite a bit, creating some barely noticeable lines. The scratching was his way of coping with the urge to cut.

When the water was warm, Harry let his arms fall down to his sides as he stepped under the water flow. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back to let the water run down his face and body, clearing away all the sweat and dirt.

After he was done the washing up, he turned off the shower and reached for a towel. Harry dries himself, before wrapping the towel around his waist.

He then walks back to his bedroom and straight to the closet. He pulls out a clean pair of boxers, along with black skinnies and a sheer long sleeved shirt. He wouldn't have picked it up himself, but Niall had convinced him that he looked good in it.

Harry dresses up quickly so he wouldn't change his mind. He takes a deep breath as he walks over to the mirror to look at himself.

_Your hips are showing._

_You can't go out looking like that._

Harry closes his eyes and takes another deep, shaky breath. He couldn't think like this, not now.

The boy opens his eyes again and takes another look at himself. He should probably tame his hair with a bandana or put it in a bun.

People told him that he had too girly hair, just because it was shoulder length. Harry had cut his hair because of these comments and cried over it for few weeks. His hair was one of the things he actually liked about himself.

Now his hair had grown back a bit, it wasn't as long it was before he could do a bun again, and that made him happy.

Harry moves to grab his hairdryer and plugs it into the wall. He then dried his hair, getting a messy nest of curls as a result. He brushed his hair with his baby pink hairbrush, not looking in the mirror. His thoughts would have just blown over the colour.

After Harry is done with the brushing he sets the brush down and moves to get his favourite grey bandana from his drawer. He wraps it around his head, successfully taming his hair.

Not even minute later he hears the doorbell ring, telling him that someone was there. Harry was quite sure that it was Niall, so before he went to open the door, he closed all the lights and grabbed his jacket on the way.

"Took you long enough," Niall comments the second Harry opens the door for him. The blonde boy was wearing some basic black jeans, a white tee and a light jean jacket.

"I knew it was you so I made myself ready." Harry defends quietly, opening the door fully and stepping back. "This was the outfit you wanted me to wear, right?" Harry asks spreading his hands out and giving Niall a hopeful look. He didn't want to let his best friend down or make him look bad.

Niall eyes the boy up before he nods approvingly. "Yeah, that's the one I was thinking about." He smiles softly.

Harry nods with a light smile on his lips as he bends down to put on his favourite pair of brown boots. Niall didn't like them, but Harry couldn't help but love the beaten up shoes. They had the character that he was lacking.

"Okay, I'm ready to go," Harry says eventually standing up straight. He was feeling nervous but didn't want to make it too obvious. He wasn't in the mood of Niall lecturing about how he should just be more confident and what not.

Niall flashes as smile and nods toward the car. "Let's go then."

Harry walks out of the apartment, locking the door behind him after he has made sure that he has the keys. The two boys then walk to the car, Harry getting on to the passenger seat while Niall naturally gets on the driver's seat.

Harry buckled up as Niall started the car and pulled up to the road.

"Are you going to drink?" Harry asks quietly, looking to his driving friend. He didn't want to be the driver again. It always ended up with him walking home from Niall's because he insisted that he needed the car the next day. Sure Harry could've spent the night over the boy's, but he couldn't sleep anywhere that had intoxicated people in it. His mothers' house was an exception to this, since evey christmas the parents usually took a couple glasses of wine.

"You know me, Harold, of course, I'll be drinking," Niall says humming like it should be obvious.

"D-Do I- do I have to be the driver again?" Harry asks biting his lip and looking down to his lap. He hated it when he stuttered. It made him look like an idiot.

The blonde boy glances to his friend. "I was counting on it." He says shrugging. "Since you won't drink and I don't want to drive drunk."

Harry would have been offended by the assumption about him drinking, but Niall was right. Harry was anxious enough to be in the room with many people- drunken usually, and he wasn't going to make it even worse by lowering his instincts.

"I don't want you to drive when you're drunk.." Harry says quietly, keeping his eyes still on his fingers.

"So you'll do it?"

"Yes," Harry says nodding and glancing up to Niall, who is already looking to him with a soft smile on his face.

"Thanks, Haz, I owe you one," Niall says smiling before he focuses on the road again.

The two had been best friends since they were four and Niall had moved down the street. Their mothers had become fast friends and naturally the boys befriended soon too. Since they had know each other so long, Niall was one of Harry's favourite people along with his mother, sister and step-dad Des. The blonde was the only person Harry trusted fully outside the family, but still Niall was clueless of what was going on in the boy's head.

"Do I know anyone who's going to be there?" Harry asks after a moment of silence. It would be nice if he knew someone there. He had changed few words with Niall's friend and possible crush Liam and so far the boy seemed nice.

"I think so, yeah. Zayn's going to be there and you've met Liam of course. I believe that you've seen Ed couple of times too?" Niall hums lightly.

Zayn was their mutual friend that the had known since sixth grade, though they didn't become friends until they were in their junior year of highschool. And despite them being close, Harry didn't open up to the raiven haired boy. There was nothing wrong with him, Harry just didn't want to bother more than one person with his problems.

"Is Ed the one with red hair?" Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows lightly as he tried to think. He had heard the name before.

"Yup, that's the one." Niall smiles popping the 'p' as he pulls up in front of a large house. "Okay, we are here." The blonde says turning off the engine. "Nervous?" Niall asks softly, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry was beyond nervous. His hands were shaking slightly as he thought about all of the people gathered in one room and drinking. What if he made a fool of himself? Or embarrassed Niall by falling over or something?

"Haz, calm down. You're going to be okay." Niall says as the boy didn't let out a sound. It was always like this. Them arriving, Harry panicking, Niall saying few calming words and promises and then they were ready to go. And this time was no different.

After the soothing words and promises the two finally walked inside the house. The music was playing loudly, bouncing off the walls. There were people everywhere dancing and talking in small groups.

"Let's go to get a drink, yeah? Cold water sound good?" Niall says as they close the door behind them.

Harry, who was looking around overwhelmed, nods and reaches out to take a hold of Niall's arm. The boy didn't push his hand away, just started to lead him through the mass of people and into the kitchen. It was less crowded there, so Harry dared to let go of Niall's arm and breath properly.

Harry watches as Niall walks to the fridge and pulls out a can of beer and a water bottle. He then bends down to check the freezer for ice.

"Sorry Haz, you'll just have to settle for bottle water," Niall says closing the fridge.

"It's okay," Harry says quietly as he takes the bottle from the boy. "Thank you."

Niall waives his hand in dismissal before he opens the can and takes a long gulp of the beer. "Okay, shall we go and get this party going?" Niall grins taking Harry's hand in his. "I'll be by your side the whole time." He promises with a reassuring smile.

And well the whole time turned out to be ten minutes.

First, they were standing in a circle with Zayn, Liam, Ed and some random guy Harry hadn't met before. John or something. They were chatting away- well, everyone else was, Harry just stood there and asked questions quietly if he wanted to know more about the subject they were on.

He was standing between Niall and Zayn when Liam asked the blonde to dance. Of course, Niall said yes and left him alone with the three boys.

It would have been okay, if Zayn's phone wouldn't have started ringing, which made him excuse himself from the circle, leaving the anxious boy alone with the two almost strangers.

And being the awkward boy he was, Harry stuttered that he had to pee and basically ran out of the living room, almost tripping over to the carpet.

Harry did go and found a bathroom, where he spent a good ten minutes trying to calm himself down. He succeeded eventually and slowly excited the room with a blush as he saw all the people waiting to have their turn.

Since he had just left his safe place that was the empty bathroom, Harry decided to go back to the kitchen due to its emptiness earlier.

When Harry got into the kitchen, he was happy to see that it was empty. The screams of ' _drink drink drink_ ' from the living room were maybe the reason behind it.

Harry walks to the fridge and pulls out another bottle of water since he had managed to loose his previous one. He then closes the door and hops on the counter, swinging his legs back and forth. His hands are shaking lightly as he opens the bottle and takes a sip of the cold water. He stares down at his feet and doesn't even notice when someone enters the room.

Harry almost drops the bottle as he sees another pair of shoes in the line of sight. He was quite scared of look up, but he didn't want to look stupid either. So he slowly lifts his gaze from the floor and flashes a light smile to the stranger.

The stranger seemed to be about his height, maybe an inch or two taller. He had a dark, almost black, semi long hair and light eyes. Harry couldn't make out the colour in the dim lit room.

"H-Hi," Harry says quietly stuttering, feeling like a complete idiot because of it.

 _Great now you're going to scare him away_.

"Hi there." The man smirks. "What is a cutie like you doing alone in here?" He asks placing his hands flat on both sides of Harry, leaning in.

Harry feels uncomfortable and leans back, trying to subtly get further away. "I-I don't like crowds." The curly haired boy says quietly.

The man nods. "Wanna go back to mine then? It'd be just you and me." He suggests eyeing the boy from head to toe, with a look on his face that made Harry feel uneasy.

"No thank you," Harry says his hands shaking as he took another sip of his water. Could the man just leave him alone?

"Oh I get it- how could I be so rude." The stranger chuckles leaning even closer, coming way too close to the boy. "Nick. My name is Nick, nice to meet you." He smiles.

Harry leans back with furrowed eyebrows. He was really, really uncomfortable. "You too- um I-I need to go to-to the bathroom." Harry stutters placing the waterbottle next to him and looking down to his hands.

"I have a bathroom back in my place." Nick winks licking his lips.

_Leave me alone._

"B-But I really need to pe-pee," Harry says. He could feel the panic bubble deep in his stomach. He knew that he wasn't intimidating to threatenen the man, nor did he have enough muscles to fight against him. If Nick decided to do something, he would be basically powerless.

"How about, I escort you to the bathroom and we leave after that?" Nick hums moving his hand on Harry's thigh, making the boy flinch. "You can let your friends that you're coming with me- no harm done."

"I ca-can't," Harry says with a shaky voice.

"Why not? C'mon, it'd be nice. No crowds, like I said- just you and me and maybe a glass of wine."

"I don't drink." Harry rushes out, almost cutting Nick off. "A-and I've promised to drive my friends home."

Nick didn't seem to notice Harry's discomfort as he moved to run his fingers along the boy's side. "Hmm... That's a shame." He says humming. "And they can't ride with anyone else? Just this once?"

Harry shakes his head slowly. "No." He whispers shakily. The boy was already beyond uncomfortable and scared of the man. He wanted to get home and in bed.

"How about you give me your number princess so we can keep touch?" Nick suggests and at this point, Harry was ready to give him his money if he would just leave.

"Okay."

Nick smirks as he pulls out his phone from his back pocket and holds it out for Harry. The curly haired boy took the phone from him and typed out his number. He pondered if he should change the last number and blame it on a typo, but Nick seemed the kind of person who would call him right away to make sure that he got a right number.

"Thanks, doll." The man says with a smirk as he puts his phone back in his pocket. "I'll text you, princess." He says moving to kiss Harry's cheek.

The kiss made Harry shiver, not in a good way.

Harry just nods and escapes the second that Nick leaves his space and walks to the fridge. He makes his way upstairs since it seemed like a good idea. He might find a room to calm down in, that's what he hoped at least.

The boy walked from room to room, until he finally found an empty one. He quickly got in and closed the door behind him. Harry bites his lip to keep his sobs from coming out as he walks over to the bed and sits down on the soft mattress.

His whole body was shaking and his eyes were stinging like he had been up for too long. Harry wrapped his arms around himself and released his lip to bite the inside of his cheek. He was biting too hard, though since it didn't take long before he could taste the metallic taste of metal.

Harry closed his eyes and started to swing himself back and forth. It was his way of calming down, though it didn't always work. Sometimes he just needed someone to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

His cheeks turned wet as the first tears started to flow. He didn't care enough to wipe them off.

_Oh please, stop being a baby._

Of course, the thoughts came and made it all worse. Harry shakes his head and holds himself tighter. He wasn't a baby.

_Then why do you cry?_

Harry moves his hands over his ears like it would make everything better. He lifts his feet from the ground and against his chest, curling into a small ball. He'd just have to get through this, he could do it.

"Are you okay?"

The sound makes Harry snap his eyes open and look to the door where he saw a rather short boy. He was wearing black skinnies and a basic white shirt. The boy had a feathery brown hair and he looked nice.

Harry opens his mouth to say yes, but he can't say the word. He wasn't okay. So instead of lying his honest and shakes his head. What did he have to loose? The boy probably thought that he was a creep already.

"Can I come in?" The shorter boy asks softly as he takes a small step into the room.

_He just pities you._

"Yeah," Harry says quietly. He wasn't sure why the boy would want to stay. They didn't know each other. He wasn't obligated to help.

Harry watched carefully as the boy closed the door and walked toward him, sitting next to him on the bed. He left a comfortable distance between them, clearly noticing that he shouldn't get too close without asking.

"I'm Louis." The boy introduces himself with a soft voice. It was quite high for a boy, but it fit him perfectly. Harry liked the voice. "What's your name?" He continued with the same softness.

Harry looks to his side where Louis was sitting with crossed legs. "Harry," Harry whispers barely audible. Louis still hears him in the silent room.

"Hi, Harry. Can you tell me what's wrong?" Louis asks with a calming tone. It was the kind of tone that made you trust the boy immediately despite that they didn't know each other. It created the feeling that he actually cared what was wrong.

Should he trust the boy?

"I don't like crowds," Harry says shakily, unable to stop himself from shaking altogether.

Louis flashed a sympathetic smile. "Crowds are not really my thing either." He says. He didn't know what to do to get Harry stop shaking. "Do you have friends here?"

He doesn't believe that you have friends, but can you blame him? Here you are crying over some guy who got a little close.

Harry nods biting the inside of his cheek. "My best friend is downstairs.."

"Do you want me to get him?" The feathery haired boy asks, moving slightly on the bed that he was fully facing Harry.

"N-no," Harry says shaking his head. "I don't want to ru-ruin his night and he's probably drunk by now." He adds looking down to his linked fingers.

Harry could see Louis frowning from the corner of his eye and it made him confused. Why was he looking like he felt really sorry for him?

 _Maybe because he feels sorry for Niall_.

"Have you been drinking? Do you want me to drive you home maybe?"

The questions made Harry look back to the boy once again. It was kind of déjà vu from earlier but he didn't pay too much attention to it since Louis was clearly not trying to bed him or coming off too strong.

"Water. I've drunk water.. and I can't leave because I've promised to Niall, Liam and Zayn that I'll drive them back home." Harry explains biting his lip. Gosh, he hated the way his voice shook.

"Niall Horan?" Louis questions raising his eyebrows, clearly signalling that he knew the boy.

"Yeah?" Harry says warily. "You know him?"

Louis nods humming. "Actually I do. I just moved here and he has shown me around." He tells the boy. "He mentioned your name I think.."

Harry furrows his eyebrows at that. What did Niall say about him? It could be anything from, yeah he's my best friend to he's weird. Okay, Harry doubts that the blonde would tell anyone that, but then again he didn't know.

"What d-did he say about me?" Harry asks quietly, in a careful manner.

"Nothing bad," Louis reassures the boy. "He mentioned that you're his best mate and something about you knowing each other since he moved here when he was four or something."

The curly haired boy lets out a shaky sigh of relief. Though it didn't matter, Louis probably found him weird already.

Harry doesn't find any words to say so he just nods and looks back to his fingers. His hands were still shaking, but otherwise, he was much calmer than before. The tears had stopped flowing and his mind wasn't so loud anymore. Louis had managed to calm him down.

"I have an idea," Louis says after a moment of silence. The sudden sound in the quiet room makes the taller boy jump slightly. He couldn't see the confused and sad look on Louis' face that came with that.

"How about we go downstairs and tell Niall that I can drive them home? That way you can go home and sleep." Louis suggests after he's sure that he has Harry's attention.

Harry once again, glances up to Louis with wide eyes. No one had ever offered to be the sober driver ever before. Mostly because his friends liked to drink.

"Y-you'd do that?" Harry whispers. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Louis asks softly with furrowed eyebrows.

"You don't know me." The boy says shaking some more. It was his body's way of coping. "No one is t-this nice... You must think- think that I'm helpless.."

The blue-eyed boy looked over at Harry with concern in his eyes. The boy seemed to have really low self-esteem.

"You're right, I don't know you." Louis starts softly. "But you seem really nice and I want to help, okay? I don't think that you're helpless because you're not."

Harry bites the inside of his cheek and shakes his head. "You don't know that." He whispers. "Everyone else thinks so."

 _So does he, he just doesn't want to be rude_.

"Not me."

 _He lies_.

"I think that you just need some rest, yeah? C'mon, let's go and find Niall." Louis says quietly as he stands up from the bed.

Harry's eyes follow the boy's movements, but he's frozen. He didn't completely trust the boy, despite his soft and calming words. He just couldn't. Another thing that kept him seated was the crowd that he knew was waiting downstairs.

"You can hold my hand?" Louis tries to bribe. "We can get through the crowd together." And okay, it was like Louis could read Harry's mind.

After few more seconds of thinking it through, Harry finally stood up and took a hold of Louis' hand. He was surprised at the size difference of their hands, though he should've guessed based on the boy's height. Talking about height, Harry felt slightly self-conscious about the difference. He was only two or three inches taller but it felt like ten.

Harry wanted to be smaller. He wanted to be the cute one who everyone could cuddle.

Harry let Louis lead him out of the room and down the stairs. As they got closer the living room, the taller boy spotted Nick leaning against the wall, typing something on his phone. The boy tensed and Louis noticed this.

"What's wrong?" Louis asks softly, squeezing Harry's hand as a reminder that he was there.

With a shaky hand, Harry squeezed back, shrinking down and hiding behind Louis. "N-Nick," Harry whispers. "I don't- he didn't l-leave me alone."

Louis frowns and steps slightly more in front of the boy. "Let's go through the kitchen?" Louis suggests pulling the boy along as he takes the first steps toward the room.

Harry doesn't argue, he just follows Louis and luckily Nick doesn't seem to notice the two.

"Did you drive here?" Louis asks as they search Niall from the crowd. Harry is pressed against his back since there was not that much space for him to be.

"No. Niall drove me," Harry says back, flinching as a drunken girl stumbles and almost falls on him. She luckily moves back to her friends laughing and doesn't stay to flirt.

It should have been a confidence booster to have girls all over you and flirting, but it just made the boy uncomfortable. He was gay and didn't like it when he said so people thought that they could "fix" him. As if there was something wrong with him.

"I guess I could borrow you my car... or then I'll just give you a ride home and drive back," Louis says in a deep thought. "Hmm but then I'd have to leave my car here and pick it up.."

Harry listens to the boy with a frown on his face.

_Again you messed up someone's plans by being a wuss._

"I can walk," Harry whispers. "Y-you don't have to give your c-car or drive me home." The boy says looking down to the floor.

The shorter boy stopped, turning around to look at Harry. "I'm not letting you walk home when you're clearly shaken up," Louis says sternly. "And before you argue with me, let me tell you that it is pointless."

Just as Harry opens his mouth to argue with the boy, drunken Niall comes to them with a huge grin on his face.

"Harold! Lewis, where were you?" Niall exclaims grinning.

"Upstairs," Louis says smiling lightly. "Listen, are you okay if I drive you home? Harry's not feeling that well and it'd be better if he got some rest."

Harry looked between the two, waiting for Niall's answer. He felt stupid but willed himself to just suffer until he got home.

"Oh, I don't need a ride," Niall says with a smug smile. "Liam is taking me back to his- isn't he just nice?" He continues wiggling his eyebrows. It wasn't even slightly unclear what the boy was suggesting.

"S-so I can go?" Harry asks biting his lip hopefully. He had a chance to actually get home.

"Yup. If you borrow my car, make sure to bring it over tomorrow." Niall says nodding.

"Thank you!" Harry says with a smile on his face, moving to hug the boy. It was comforting to feel a familiar pair of hands around him. It was just what the boy needed.

Niall hugged the taller boy back. "It's fine. Now go, I'll see you."

Harry nodded pulling back, trying not to take the words in a wrong way. Niall didn't mean it in a bad way, he just wanted him to get some well-needed rest.

_Sure, keep telling yourself that._

"I'll walk you out," Louis says placing his hand on the small of Harry's back, surprising the boy.

The taller boy just lets Louis lead him out of the livingroom and toward the front door. He kept his eyes on the floor as they pass the mass of people, no one was really paying attention to them.

As they get to the door, Louis stops and turns around to look at Harry.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Louis asks softly, with a slightly worried look on his face.

"Yeah." Harry breaths nodding. "Thank you for k-keeping me company." He says quietly, flashing a shy smile, that the shorter boy returns.

"Your welcome. Now, be safe, okay? I'll make sure that Niall remembers to check on you tomorrow."

Harry opens his mouth to argue but somehow knows that it would just keep him from leaving. "I will.." He says moving his hand to the doorknob. "B-bye?" Harry says in a questioning manner.

"Bye Harry, I hope that we'll see again," Louis says sounding sincere as Harry opens the door and steps out.

The boy doesn't say anything else as he closes the door and rushes toward the car. His breathing was shaky again as he gets inside to the car and buckles up.

Harry then drives home and gets straight to bed, avoiding all the mirrors and the bathroom in general. His nails found his wrists in the dark, and soon the sobs filled the quiet and empty room.

_Just go and get the razor._

_You'll be better if you do it._

Luckily, the sensible side of Harry kept him in bed, away from the temptation. He curls up in a ball under the covers and squeezes his eyes shut.

His wrists were stinging from the scratching and his head was aching from the crying and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Eventually, the voices calm down and the shaking stops, making it possible for the boy to fall asleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Nick:** _Hi beautiful, miss you_

**Nick:** _I've got the F the C and the K, and baby, all I need is U_

**Nick:** _I still have that bottle of wine we were talking about_

Harry stares at his phone, reading the texts as they came through. Nick had been blowing up his phone for five days now and Harry was getting anxious. Well more than usually anyways.

When Harry woke up, there was a text from Nick. When he came out of the shower, when he ate, when he went to sleep- there was always a text or seven waiting for him. It had started to affect on his sleeping. Just last night he saw maybe the worst nightmare so far.

_Harry opened his eyes to darkness. He was tied up in a chair, his legs tied tightly to the chair and his arms tied up together behind his back. Harry sighed in frustration, tilting his head back. He started to move his hands up and down against the edge of the chair, in an attempt to break free from the ropes._

_Harry continued this until he heard a nervous voice talking and a pair of steps walking towards him in a hurry. The boy's heart started racing as he dropped his hands flat against the chair. His breathing turned uneven as he heard a heavy door to be opened and closed. Then the steps got louder and louder until they stopped suddenly behind him._

_Harry felt a cold touch on his shoulder, making it feel like his heart had stopped from beating. The cold hand was soon replaced with something bigger but equally as cold object, what the boy didn't recognise._

_The other person in the room said something to the person behind Harry and a second later, they start to move the sharp object down on the boy's arm. When they get to his wrist, the object moves across Harry's stomach. The feeling of cold, spread around Harry's body making him anxious. His breathing started to going shakier, making it harder to breathe in._

_This is where it ends then, Harry thought inside his head, ready to let go._

_Soon, his already black vision started to get blurry, as the oxygen runs out. Harry cursed in his mind how his body didn't seem to want to let go_.

That was where Harry woke up with his breathing shaky and just covered in sweat. He didn't recognise the person when he was sleeping, but as he woke up he swore that it was Nick. It had to be.

Of course, the voices had had a comment on this.

_You're just as weak in your dreams than in real life._

This had made Harry even more upset than he had been already.

The texts had caused Harry to suffer from the greater urge to cut. That's why his wrists stung whenever he showered or just got dressed in general. Not that he had actually cut, he just had scratched harder and more often, so the lines were more obvious and the worst of them were bleeding. Not majorly but still bleeding.

Harry had tried to talk about it with Niall, but the boy was busy with Liam. The two had been hanging out every day since the party and it didn't seem like they were stopping anytime soon. The boy didn't dare to ask if he could join them since it was quite obvious that they enjoyed their alone time.

He considered talking to Zayn, but it felt like they weren't close enough to it. Nor did Zayn know about Harry's anxiety and depression- not that Niall knew about it fully either, but he had a better view on it than the raven haired boy.

Besides, it was quite likely that Zayn was hanging out with his girlfriend.

At times like these, Harry was sad that he didn't have more friends. Okay, well he had Ed, but just like with Zayn, they weren't close enough to talk about things like this.

Harry heard another beep from his phone, signalling that he got a text. He doesn't reach out for it, knowing that it was Nick.

_If you don't look it now, it'll just stay there._

The boy listens to the voice in his head and grabs his phone. He is surprised to see a text from not Nick, but from an unknown number.

**Unknown:** _hi, Harry :) it's me, Louis. I don't know if you remember me but we met at the party?_

Harry stares the text confused. Why would Louis text him? Where he got his number? Was he a stalker?

He saves the number to his contacts before he texts back.

**Harry:** _hi, yeah, I remember. Um, where did you get my number?_

**Louis:** _Niall gave it to me_

**Harry:** _oh okay..._

Harry furrows his eyebrows, still confused as ever. Why did Louis ask for his number or did Niall just offer it?

_Who would voluntarily ask for your number?_

**Louis:** _oh shit sorry, I should probably tell you why I texted in the first place_

**Louis:** _d_ _o you wanna hang out? It's okay if you don't, but yeah.. do you?_

This had to be a joke. No way Louis would ask him to hang out with him. Not after he had seen the boy crying.

**Harry:** _is this a joke?_

Harry types back with a frown. It wasn't nice to make people feel hopeful about something like this. Bad with people or not, it was an unsaid rule to not mess up with others emotions. It was just as bad as physical abuse.

**Louis:** _what? No, why would it be?_

_His lying, of course, it's a joke_

**Harry:** _because you don't know me_

**Louis:** _that's why I want to get to know you x_

**Harry:** _why? Did Niall put you up to this?_

**Louis:** _again, no? I genuinely want to get to know you. If you don't want to I understand_

What should he do? Should he just go for it and see if the boy was genuine? What did he have to loose? If Louis was just playing with his emotions, then he'd find out right away. And if he was really genuine, Harry would get a new friend. So basically it was a win-win situation.

**Harry:** _okay, um... where do you want to meet?_

The boy types and sends nervously.

**Louis:** _you want to see me? We could hang out somewhere inside? I'd rather not get wet_

**Harry:** _do you have a place in mind?_

**Louis:** _well if you don't want to come to mine or for me to come to yours, we could always meet at a coffee shop or something?_

**Harry:** _I don't like public places.. too much crowd_

**Louis:** _okay, would you be more comfortable to come to mine?_

That was a tough question. If they came to Harry's, it was like he'd let Louis close- maybe closer than he'd want to. But if they would hang out by Louis', it'd be harder to leave since he didn't know where the boy lives.

Both places had their pros and cons, but in the end, Harry trusted more to invite Louis to his house. He knew the place inside out and Niall lived close if he needed him.

**Harry:** _you could come here?_

Harry has to breathe deeply several times before he finally sends the text. There was no turning back now.

**Louis:** _okay, text me the address? :)_

The curly haired boy does and gets a promise from Louis that he'll be over in an hour.

This gave Harry time to freak out. He rushes to the shower, being extra careful as he washes his hair making sure that it was really clean. The boy washes his face thoroughly, frowning how he had few blemishes on his forehead.

After showering, Harry dries himself and slips into a clean pair of boxers. He pulls out a pair of skinnies and his favourite lilac knitted jumper, that his grandma had made him. It was a bit ragged, but he loved it. It was comfy and hid his hips.

_Wouldn't want to scare the boy away with your fatness._

Harry checks the time and sees that he still has more than forty minutes until Louis was supposed to come over. He was already dressed, his apartment was spotless and he had no idea what he should do.

If he just laid in bed and waited, he'd just get more nervous than he was already. He had to do something, but he didn't know what exactly.

Then an idea hit him. He could bake. Niall had always praised his baked goods to the moon and back, so the boy was somewhat confident to make something.

_One thing you don't fuck up in your life._

Harry makes his way to the kitchen and starts to gather up the ingredients needed to his famous chocolate cookies. He puts his hair up in a bun and starts to work on the dough.

Harry's mind went quiet as he mixed the ingredients, moulded the dough into tiny cookies and put the baking tray into the oven.

He then waited for twelve minutes until the cookies were ready, and pulled the tray out. He moved the cookies to a big plate and settled the tray back to the oven after he had turned it off.

The boy then covers the cookie plate with a cloth to keep them warm.

While he waits for Louis to arrive, Harry starts to wash all the dirty dishes that came from the baking. Unlike other people, Harry actually enjoyed doing the dishes and the cleaning in general. He had control over how things looked like and how clean he wanted his house to be. It was comforting.

The doorbell rings, just as Harry finishes up the dishes. His heart beat starts to quicken as he dries his hands to his apron. He then walks up to his front door, opening it to reveal the blue eyed boy.

"Hi." Louis smiles brightly the second he realises that the door was open.

Harry notices that Louis was wearing an oversized jumper and some sweats. He looked cuddly.

_Say something, idiot._

"Hi," Harry says offering a shy smile. "Come in." He says taking a step back to give the boy room to enter. He was proud how his voice didn't shake and he didn't stutter.

He then closes the door behind them and waits for Louis to take off his shoes.

"Oh, it smells good in here." Louis comments smiling. "Were you baking?" He questions.

Harry nods bashfully. "Yeah, I made some cookies." He says smiling lightly. At least they smelled good.

"Can I have one?" Louis asks standing up straight. He was talking with the same soft tone than the last time they saw, and it made Harry think that it just was his general way of speaking.

"Of course. I-I baked them for you." Harry admits shyly.

_God, stop being a school girl with a crush._

If it's possible, Louis' smile softens even more. "Thank you Hazza, you didn't have to do that." He says warmly.

_Hazza? He just called you Hazza._

Harry just nods with a smile, not knowing how to process the nickname. Niall usually called him Haz or H, but this was the first time anyone had called him that.

Without another word, Harry leads the boy into the kitchen and pick up the plate of cookies. He bites his lip as he holds the cookies out for Louis, excited and nervous at the same time for the boy to try them.

Louis offers a smile as he grabs one cookie and takes a small bite out of it. His eyes widen at the taste and he rushes to take another mouthful.

This made Harry crack a bright smile first time in months. It was the kind of smile that left your cheeks hurting for hours afterwards. It was the kind of smile that showed off his dimples.

"You like them?" Harry asks hopefully.

Louis holds his finger up to signal for the boy to wait. He chews until his mouth is empty, keeping Harry on the edge waiting.

"These are the best cookies I've ever eaten." Louis praises sucking on his fingers. "Can I have another one?" He asks biting his lip.

"Yeah." Harry grins giving Louis another cookie. "I'm happy that you like them." The boy smiles genuinely.

"I don't mind you cooking me more often." Louis hums playfully. "Feel free to invite me over more often when you bake."

"I will." Harry smiles.

The two finish up the half of the cookies before they go to the living room. Harry goes to sit on the loveseat as Louis sits down on the couch.

"So Hazza." Louis starts softly. "Wanna tell me about yourself?"

Harry's smile falls at that. He didn't want to tell Louis about him. It would just make the boy stay away from him. He had too many problems.

"I-I'd rather learn about y-you?" Harry says quietly, hoping that Louis would do the talking.

"Okay, well I turn 19 in December." Louis starts smiling. "I like cats more than dogs, my favourite movie is Grease. Hmm.. I have five sisters and a brother that I love very much, I played football until my knee betrayed me." Louis keeps on talking, while Harry looks over him and smiles softly.

The two spend the rest of the night like this, Louis telling about himself, occasionally asking some little things from the curly haired boy. Like what was his favourite colour, if he liked reading too and all that stuff.

What made the night even better was Louis' understatement of Harry's boundaries. Whenever Harry shut down, Louis changed the subject and told more about himself.

For the few hours, Harry's mind stayed quiet. He was happy for the first time in months.

He was truly happy. And it was all because of Louis.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short, I'm sorry! The next one will be longer, I promise!

"I missed you so much, baby!" Anne says with teary eyes as she pulls her son into a tight and warm embrace.

Harry had decided to go home for the weekend and it was clear that Anne was more than happy about it. It had been a while since he had visited the Holmes Chapel, his home. And now he was finally back.

"I missed you too mum," Harry says with his face squished between his mother's shoulder and neck. He had missed the familiar scent of his childhood home. He had also missed the warmth that radiated from the loving hugs from his mother.

Anne squeezed the boy tightly for few seconds before pulling away slightly to look at her son. "Gemma and Des are going to be so happy to see you. It's been too long." She says smiling warmly. "How long are you visiting?"

"Gemma is here too?" Harry asks with a smile on his lips. Gemma was his rock and life support. One of the people who could make everything better with just one joke. "And I'll be here for the weekend, I have exams coming in few weeks." The boy says with a soft hum.

"She came yesterday and plans stay over the weekend like you-- oh, I'll have my babies here at the same time! Like a dream come true." Anne smiles brightly. It was the kind of smile that made Harry flash his dimples. "You shouldn't overwork yourself with school honey. I know that you want to make it big in the future, but you have to remember to relax every once a while, yeah?" She says softly.

Harry loves his mother for this. She wants to always make sure that he's eating okay, that he doesn't stress too much and that he is overall feeling well. That's why it also hurts him that he lies over his feelings. He never mentions when he feels bad or has problems. Harry doesn't want to be a burden.

She could still notice when he was feeling bad sometimes. She would hug him more than usual and casually drop the 'I love you's' more often than not.

"I won't mum," Harry says softly as he pulls completely out of her embrace. "Where's Gems?" He asks picking up his bag from the floor.

Another thing about his and Gemma's relationship was that she knew. She knew about Harry's depression and anxiety. She became aware of them when she walked in when he was shaking in his room, crying uncontrollably and digging his nails into his skin. Gemma had held him in her arms for a half an hour, whispering sweet nothings into his ear before he calmed down.

Harry had to tell about all of this to her after this, and since then she had made sure to call him once in a week so see how he was holding up. Gemma was the person Harry was most honest with, though he wasn't hundred percent honest, it was still better than nothing.

"I think that she's in her room. I'll have the dinner ready by four, okay?" His mother says smiling. "Gosh, I'm so happy to have you here!" She gushes happily.

"Happy to be home," Harry says honestly. "I'll go see Gems, okay? I'll be down for the dinner." He hums before he grabs his bag and starts to make his way upstairs.

Gemma's room was the opposite of his in the hallway. It brought back some memories as he walked up to her door and knocked on it quietly

"Come in." He hears Gemma's soft voice through the door, making him tear up a bit. Despite the calls, he missed his sister's voice. It wasn't the same thing to talk on a phone than face to face.

Harry opens the door and immediately spots her laying on the bed with a book in her hands. She looks up from the book and looks surprised for a second before flashing a bright smile.

"Harold!" She smiles sitting up and holding his hands out for the boy, signalling that she wanted a hug.

The boy gets into the room, closing the door behind him. He then drops his bag on the floor before he rushes over to the bed and hugs her tightly.

"I missed you Gem," Harry says blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall.

_Baby._

Gemma returns the hug, squeezing the boy just as tightly as he was.

"I missed you too baby bro." She smiles softly, pulling back to look at him just like Anne did earlier. "So how are you? Any better?"

Harry's eyes glance to the spot on the bed, next to Gemma and she immediately realises what he wants.

"Sit down." She hums patting the spot next to her.

So Harry sits down to the bed, moving that he was leaning against the headboard of the bed, while Gemma moved slightly so she was facing the boy. They were both sitting with their legs crossed.

When Harry didn't open his mouth, she pushed him softly. "So? Everything okay?"

_Tell her. Be the pussy you are._

"Yeah," Harry says flashing a smile, that wasn't convincing at all. It would've been enough for Niall, but not for Gemma. She could see right through him.

"It's not nice to lie to me, Harry." She scolds the boy softly. "Now tell me. Has something happened?" She asks worriedly.

Harry purses his lips and looks at his fingers. He knew that he could trust Gemma, but it was always the hardest to say the first words. To break down the walls.

"I-I met this b-boy... Two a-actually." Harry starts with a stutter. He could feel Gemma's hand on his leg as in reminder that she was there for him. Harry appreciated it.

"Go on." She says softly couraging the boy to continue.

"O-one of them is r-really nice. He makes everything better for a while.." Harry says with a sheepish smile. He could feel Gemma's curious gaze on him, but he didn't dare to look up to her. "And I like being a-around him. He makes the voices go away." He continues biting his lip.

"That's nice," Gemma says, clearly trying to hide the enthusiasm behind her voice. "What is his name?"

"L-Louis." The boy says blushing lightly. He may have been slightly crushing on the boy, but it wasn't like it would be going to happen. Louis was too perfect for him.

"You like him, don't you?" Gemma questions softly.

Harry shrugs but stays quiet. He didn't want to say it out loud. It would make it only more real and Harry couldn't have that. He couldn't deal with the pity behind Gemma's eyes if he told her, or anyone for that matter.

_Not that anyone would care anyways_.

Gemma understands not to push the matter and changes the subject. "So the other boy you were talking about? What's he's like?"

"He is-- he is n-not nice," Harry says looking up to her with a pout. "H-he doesn't listen to me a-and he makes me feel.. I don't know h-how to describe the feeling.." He tries to explain. He wasn't the best at describing his feelings, so it wasn't a surprise that this happened.

Gemma looks at the boy with furrowed eyebrows. The worry was clear behind the girl's eyes. "Has he done something to you?" She asks frowning.

Harry nods slowly. "He keeps blowing up my phone.. and h-he keeps sending inappropriate texts."

"Can you show me?"

The boy nods, pulling his phone from his pocket and holds it for Gemma. She takes it from his hand and opens the texts. "Nick?" She questions as it was the only name she didn't recognise from the contacts.

Harry nods and watches Gemma's facial expressions as she reads through the texts. It was clear that she was disgusted and surprised about the content of them. The girl actually gagged at one point and it made the boy wonder what it read.

"Baby my dick is cold, wanna come over and keep it warm?" Gemma reads out loud with a disgusted look on her face. "Is this guy serious? He is truly just- why did you give him your number?"

"He wouldn't- he wouldn't leave me alone," Harry explains frowning. Maybe it just was his fault, maybe he had led the man on.

_You're just in need of attention._

_So desperate it's pathetic._

"Harry, Harry." Gemma's voice snaps him back to the reality. "The voices? Was it the voices?" She asks moving closer to the boy.

It was only then that Harry notices that he was shaking all over. His hands had fallen flat against his thighs and his breathing was unsteady. It takes him few seconds to focus his gaze to Gemma, but when he does, she opens her mouth again.

"Take your time, there's no rush. It's okay." She says soothingly.

The boy takes his time to calm down his breathing before he nods and closes his eyes. "The voices.. the voices h-has gone worse," Harry says quietly.  "I don't know how to stop it and I-I'm scared." He admits as his eyes get watery.

_You're so weak._

"I'm sorry! I'm just- just being a burden." Harry says shaking his head with a frown on his face. "So-sorry."

"Shh, Haz it's okay," Gemma says moving to hug the boy close. "It's okay." She whispers as she runs her finger along the boy's sides, letting him sob quietly.

"You're strong Harry. It may not seem like it, but you are." She says softly. "You're so strong, my strong baby bro.."

They were quiet for a while before Gemma opens her mouth again. "Haz... I think you should consider medication." She whispers as she rocks them back and forth.

"You t-think I'm crazy?" Harry furrows his eyebrows. No one had ever said anything about taking medication for this and the thought was scary.

"No, not crazy. Just, I don't know I just want to help you, okay? And I've read some good reviews on this new medication and I thought you should try it... I won't force you to take it, but I think that it'd be good for you." She says quietly. Her intentions are good, but still, it makes Harry feel uneasy to think about it.

"I'll try it.." He whispers looking straight ahead without really seeing anything.

"Are you sure? I just don't want to lose you, Harry."

"I will try it for you. I love you, Gemma." The boy says softly, feeling a lump in his throat. He could get through it.

"I love you too Harry. Forever and always." Gemma says back and leans down to kiss his temple softly. "Always, remember that." She whispers.

Harry doesn't say anything else, he just curls in his sister's arms and lets her hold him close. The dinner came along, the family ate together and Harry managed to keep a straight face throughout the night.

But when he went to bed, it came crashing down. It was the first night Harry really wanted to die.

____

 

Rest in peace Johannah, you'll always be in our hearts and thank you for being such a wonderful woman and mother to your children ❤


	4. Chapter 4

"And remember class, tomorrow is the last class before the exam." The teacher announces loudly, making everyone quiet down. "So I'll suggest that everyone attends the class and listens carefully. I may or may not share something of the exam."

The class goes wild at that. It was expected, though, as everyone wanted to know how to possibly improve their grades.

Harry on the other hand just focused on finishing up his notes. The possible information wouldn't change anything. He would still study until his head hurt, or until he just passed out. He liked to study, his mind emptied from all the shit in his life and just filled it with comforting knowlege.

If he succeeded later on in life, maybe he wouldn't feel so bad anymore.

_You? Succeed? Please._

Before Harry can dwell on his thoughts for too long, the bell rings telling everyone that the school ended. The boy packs his things without rush and when he looks up he sees that everyone is gone, even the teacher.

It was against the school's rules to let a student stay alone in the class but maybe it was an accident. Maybe the teacher didn't see him.

_Or he didn't just care._

Harry frowns standing up from his seat and walks out of the class. He makes sure that the door was locked behind him and that the lights were out.

As he walks down the empty halls, he took in all that he saw. It was like he was seeing the school the first time. Every day he walked down the halls with his eyes on the floor and his head hunging low, trying to go as unnoticed as possible. Harry basically knew every pattern of the floor, but not even the colour of the walls.

Okay, they were plain white, shocking.

Harry didn't want to go home just yet. There would be only emptiness waiting for him when he arrived, and today, he just wasn't excited about it.

These kind of days were rare for Harry. The kind of days when he wanted to be around people and actually communicate with them instead of just listening like he always did.

With this in mind, Harry stops and pulls out his phone from his back pocket. Why did he stop? He would've fallen over if he had walked and texted the same time.

**Harry:** _are you free?_

Harry types and sends it to Niall. Usually when Harry was the first one to text out of the two, the blonde would know what Harry wanted. It was always either company or cuddles, which were basically the same thing.

**Niall:** _sorry Haz, I'm with Liam.. tomorrow?_

**Harry:** _I have to study tomorrow, but it's okay. I'll see you later_

Harry pouts slightly as he puts the phone back to his pocket. It hurt that Niall didn't even ask him to join them, even though he would've probably declined. Still, an offer would have been nice. He should be used to this feeling already, but it still felt just as bad.

The boy continues the walk. He can feel his phone vibrate, but he chooses to ignore it. It was either Niall or Nick, and neither of them was that important.

As he walks down the street he sees a small café he walks past every day. Since he doesn't want to be alone in his house, he decides to stop by.

Harry makes sure that he has his wallet with him as he slowly steps inside the warm café. The smell of fresh coffee hits the boy's senses as the door closes behind him.

He offers a sheepish smile to the kind looking girl behind the counter. The boy walks up to the counter and looks up to the drink list. He wasn't the one going out for coffee that often, so he had no idea what to get.

"Can I help you?" The girl smiles softly, making Harry look down to her.

"Yeah," he says quietly. "What would you suggest? Do you have anything without caffeine?" He asks. Caffeine didn't work well with him. It always made him feel on the edge.

"Hmm, well," the girl starts with a smile. "If you like drinks that are sweet, I'd recommend Chai Latte." She smiles softly.

"What's in it?"

"Just some tea, water, milk and spices." The waitress says after she checks it from a list.

"Okay, um," Harry says looking up to the selection once more. "I'll take that."

Soon the boy was seated in the corner of the café with the drink. There was only few people there, all of them over their forties and clearly stopping by after work. This meant that it was rather quiet there, not that Harry minded.

Harry looks around the room as he takes a careful sip of the drink, not wanting to burn his tongue. He remembers how when he was little, he used to study people and wonder their life stories. Were they rich or middle class, if they were dog or a cat person and all those unimportant things.

As his eyes stop to an old lady, his heart stings as he sees how she has some trouble of standing up from the seat. Harry made a move to stand up, but his mind stopped him.

_What if she doesn't need a help?_

_Do you really want to just offend her?_

Harry shakes the thoughts away and stands up fully. Even if she was going to decline his offer, it would be better than seeing her struggle.

So, with slightly shaking legs Harry makes his way over to the old lady.

"Hi." He says quietly getting her attention. She looked genuinely surprised and confused to see him standing there. "Do you- do you need some help?" Harry asks almost shyly as he intertwined his fingers in front of him.

"That would be wonderful darling. Thank you." She says with the most appreciative smile Harry had ever seen.

Harry smiles back as he helps the old lady up from her seat. He makes sure that she is fully standing with her weight divided equally on the both of her legs before he lets go. When he looks down he notices the grocery bags under the table.

"Do you need help with those?" Harry asks pointing at the bags as he looks at the woman.

"That'd be too much darling. I don't want you to over work yourself." She says with a soft smile on her lips.

_See, even she thinks that you're weak._

"I'd l-love to help," Harry says smiling back. The stutter was once again making him feel stupid. Who would trust the help from someone who couldn't even talk properly?

She looks down to the bags and then back up to Harry and flashes a grateful smile. "You're such an angel." She says softly as she gestures that it was okay to take the bags.

Harry is happy as he carries the bags to the lady's car. "Here?" He asks as they stop in front of the trunk.

"You can leave them there. My husband should be here soon." She says softly.

Harry nods and places the grocery bags to the ground by the trunk. "Want me to wait with you?" He offers. It was nice to talk to someone and the old lady seemed really nice.

"It's alright dear, I can handle myself," she says almost in a playful like. "Thank you for helping. Really lights up the hope that not all the young ones are bad."

Harry giggles lightly to the comment. "It was my pleasure to help," he says smiling. "I should go, I left my drink on the table."

"Of course," she says softly. "Wait, I have to give you something for your help." She says going to reach for her purse, but Harry stops her before she can take it out.

"No need," he says smiling. "I did it for free."

"You're really an angel, thank you."

Harry tells her once again that it was his pleasure, then walking back inside the café. As he walks toward his table, he sees someone lifting up his mug and putting it on a tray.

"E-excuse me." Harry calls out, making the other customers turn around and watch him.

_Way to get the attention._

The waiter turns around to see who was yelling at him. The second their eyes meet, Harry recognises the person.

"Um, that's my drink," he says sheepishly pointing at the mug. "I'm not finished."

Louis smiles at the boy brightly. "Hi. Oh yeah, sorry." He says as he realises that he was still holding the drink. As Louis moves to place his drink on the table, Harry walks over to him. He smiles shyly at Louis as he sits down by the table.

"Why did you leave it here?" Louis asks humming as he lifts his gaze to the boy.

"I was helping this lady who was having trouble standing up," Harry explains quietly, still feeling some eyes on them.

People tend to be curious.

"That's so sweet of you." Louis comments softly. It made Harry think that was the boy always this soft or just with him.

_You're not that special get over yourself._

Harry doesn't say anything else after that, he just picks up his latte and takes a rather large gulp of the drink. It wasn't hot anymore, almost on the cold side.

"So, I have my half hour break in like five, do you mind if I come and sit with you?" Louis asks with a hopeful smile.

Harry looks over to the boy with confused look on his face. This was the second time Louis suggested them hanging out together. It wasn't like Harry didn't like the older boy's company, he just didn't want to get too attached to him just to get sad over it after a while. It was just a matter of time before Louis would realize how stupid and boring he was and never talk to him again.

"Okay," Harry says despite his train of thoughts. "I'll be here."

"Great," Louis smiles brightly. "I'll come back in a sec, okay?" He hums and Harry nods, before the blue eyed boy turns around and disappears behind the counter.

While Harry waits for Louis to come back he checks out his texts. He had one text from Niall and two from Nick. He wonders why the boy couldn't leave him alone already. It had been two weeks now and still, the man texted him at least twice a day. Harry never replied to them.

**Niall:** _wanna come over tonight? We could watch movies and chill, just like the old times_

The text brought a small smile to Harry's face. Maybe Niall hadn't forgotten about him after all.

**Harry:** _but what about Liam?_

**Niall:** _he has something else to do. C'mon Haz, I wanna see you_

_Yeah only because Liam can't be with you._

**Harry:** _okay, I'll come over with a bj? Cookie dough?_

**Niall:** _you're the best :) see you Haz_

Harry didn't answer to that, instead, he opens the texts from Nick. What was in them, didn't surprise him.

**Nick:** _why don't you ever reply to me, princess? I know you want me like I want you_

**Nick:** _playing hard to get, eh? Okay, I'm down for the chase xx_

"Why are you frowning Haz?"

Harry snaps his eyes up to see Louis looking down to him with a small frown on his face. He didn't even realize that he was frowning.

"Oh n-nothing. Just some texts." Harry says humming and puts on a fake smile.

Louis sits down and looks over to him with a small pout. "Are you sure? I could maybe help out?" He says softly.

"It's okay," Harry says quietly. "It's really nothing." He could see that Louis wasn't fully believing him, but he dropped it.

"So, how's your coffee?" Louis asks smiling warmly. He had a large mug in front of him that Harry hadn't noticed before.

"It's n-not coffee, I can't handle caffeine." Harry says blushing. It wasn't that big of a deal really, but being around the boy, Harry wanted to impress. For no obvious reason of course.

Louis looks kind of amused as he looks over to Harry. This makes the younger boy blush a deeper red. "Why do you look at me like that?" Harry asks biting his lip for keeping the stupid nervous grin away from his face.

"You're cute when you blush," Louis says smiling softly. His eyes blow open wide a few seconds later. "Shit, I didn't mean to blurt that out." He blushes lightly. "So um.. what are you drinking then?"

Harry can't help the stupid swooning grin that covers his face as he looks at the beautiful boy in front of him blush and ramble. "Chai Latte," he says quietly. "The girl said that it only has-"

"Tea, milk and spices." Louis finishes off, smiling. "I know, that's what I'm drinking. I usually drink Yorkshire tea, but it was sold out, that's why the latte."

"You don't like- like coffee?"

"Nah, can't handle the caffeine," Louis says playfully teasing the boy. "I just don't like the bitter taste of it. And besides, I've been raised to drink tea, so." He shrugs lightly.

The settle teasing didn't make Harry feel stupid. It made him feel like he had a actual friend who was laughing with him and not at him.

"Have you been working here for long?" Harry asks changing the subject, or at least to keep the conversation going. And maybe he was just slightly curious, just maybe.

Louis hums taking a sip of his drink. "Like 3 years now? Since I was sixteen, yeah." He says nodding. "Pretty nice job if you think about it. You get to be around people and you get some discounts on your drinks."

Harry nods to the older boy's words. He had never had a job of his own, so he didn't know what would be a good job. He'd love to make some money on his own, but he was too afraid to apply for jobs. He'd get rejected at some point, most likely multiple times and that wouldn't do any good for his already low self-esteem.

"That sounds nice." Harry says smiling lightly. It felt like he was always smiling when he was around Louis.

"Yeah," Louis hums. "So, what brings you here?"

The younger boy raises his eyebrows slightly. "What?" He asks tilting his head to the side slightly. Was Louis already bored with him?

_Wouldn't be a surprise._

"Like, I haven't seen you here before." Louis explains. "So I was wondering what made you stop by? You study right next door, right?"

"Yeah, um.. I didn't want to be alone, so I thought I'd, you know." Harry says biting his lip, before taking a sip of his now cold drink to hide the fact that he didn't know how to explain the situation. "And yes, I study at there."

"What are you planning on doing after high school? Do you know where you want to study?"

Harry blushes lightly. He didn't usually want to tell about his goals in life, just in case they didn't come true. It'd be embarrassing. Yet, Louis genuine interest made him open his mouth.

"At Cambridge." He says quietly, looking at the boy in eyes.

"That's cool, what would you like to major in?" Louis asks smiling.

Harry looks down to his empty cup and shrugs. "Psychological and behavioural sciences." He says quietly humming. He was really interested in psychopathology, and that sometimes made people suspicious. Why? Harry had no idea.

Louis' eyes widen slightly. "Wow, that's impressive," he chuckles shaking his head. "I'm studying to be a teacher." He tells smiling.

"What subject you want to teach?" Harry asks curiously. Louis didn't seem the type who would be a strict teacher, so maybe something not so scientific.

"I see myself as a drama and music teacher," he smiles softly. "I'm studying to be a drama teacher, but I have some classes to make me qualified to teach English Lit."

Harry's eyes are glued to Louis' lips while he speaks, so it takes him a moment to realize that he had stopped talking.

"Sounds c-cool." He says nodding. It looks like Louis was about to says something, but he is cut off by his coworker.

"Louis, your time is up! So stop with the flirting and get your fat ass over here, it's your turn to do the dishes." The girl who served Harry yells with a playful smile on her face.

Louis chuckles at her as he flicks her off. "Well you heard the boss," he says turning to Harry. "I see you around, yeah?" He smiles making Harry smile back.

"Yeah." Harry breaths, watching as Louis stands up. He hears the boy mumble quiet 'cool' under his breath as he makes his way to behind the counter.

He sits in the café for few more minutes before he stands up and leaves. Before he steps out of the door, though, he waives at Louis who waives back with a smile on his face.

So when the boy is finally on his way to Niall, he has a bright smile on his face and his mind clear.

Once again Louis made him feel good just by being around.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry runs through down the streets, trying to get out of there as fast as he could. He always knew that something like this could happen when he walked home late from Niall, but it was the first time it had happened. And it was safe to say that Harry was shocked and scared.

His breathing was fast and raggedy, partly because of the last ten minutes of running. He was hurting all over when he finally arrived home.

Harry opens the door and closes it quietly. The warmth of the house gives him a somewhat calming feeling, but instead what he was expecting, the tears start to roll down his cheeks again.

He lives alone, and still, he was afraid to make a sound. It was like he was afraid that if he made even the tiniest sound, something would happen.

The night had gone perfectly. They had changed into some sweats and comfortable shirts watched Harry Potter while eating some ice cream. Niall had drunk few beers, but it was all nice. He didn't get drunk so it didn't bother Harry.

The night had gone so well that Harry had fallen asleep on the couch with Niall and spent the whole next day with him. They had watched two more Harry Potter films while staying in their "pyjamas". Later that day as the boys got hungry, they ordered some pizza and ate it while having some nostalgic conversations from when they were little.

Niall had offered for Harry to spend the night at his house so he wouldn't have to walk home so late, but the boy had declined. He missed his bed and despite all the fun they had, he needed his time alone.

Now after he was home, he regretted the decision. He makes his way over to the bathroom and turns on the shower. He felt like falling apart but hoped that the warm water would help him keep everything together.

While he waits for the shower to get warm, he strips down from the sweats. Niall had promised to wash his clothes and return them, as long as Harry did the same to his clothes. And since he wasn't in the mood to change into his jeans, he agreed. Also, he liked doing loundry so it was okay.

Even the smallest movements send pain down Harry's body, making him whimper quietly. It takes a while, but finally, he is fully naked and ready for the warm water.

He steps under the shower, only to flinch away as the water had gotten too hot. He turns the temperature down until he can step back in and try to relax.

It wasn't the easiest task after everything had happened. He keeps his eyes closed as he lets the water runs down his face and body, complitely drenching him. He can't get away from his memories. The way their hands felt against his body and how his pleads went unheard.

Harry reaches out for his bodywash, his hands shaking more than normally. He squeezes some of the soap onto his hand and puts the bottle down. The movement sends a sharp twinge down his back. His knees almost buckle at the sudden pain and his eyes water badly. He hated this.

This was one of the few times that when he was crying, the voices didn't comment on him being weak. Even they knew how it was serious.

Eventually, Harry manages to finish up the showering and get out. He reaches out for a towel, careful to keep the movements slow. The faster he moved, the worse the pain was.

He dries himself slowly, fliching everytime he pressed too hard on a bruise. After a lot of work and a lot of pain, he managed to get himself dry and up to his room. He doesn't even try to dress up properly, he just squeezes his eyes shut and slips on a pair of boxers.

Harry then walks over to his bed and lays down on he soft mattress. He curls up with his pillow tightly against his chest and tries to fall asleep.

He manages to get some sleep and wakes up the next morning. He's hurting all over and the sunlight wasn't helping the head ache he was suffering from. He slowly rolls on his back and opens his eyes with several blinks. Harry slowly got used to the light shining through the window. His eyes stung and felt watery.

The memories of the night filled his mind and made him feel weak. He felt like laying in bed the whole day and dwell in his misery.

His wishes weren't granted, though, as he jumped at the sound of his doorbell ringing. Harry bites his lip and squeezes his eyes shut while he wonders if it'd be completely rude to just let the bell ring and not open the door.

The doorbell rings again and Harry's manners get the best of him. He slowly gets out of bed and walks to the door. He opens it to reveal Louis out of all people behind it. Louis was smiling brightly as their eyes meet, but the smile soon falters as he sees the frown.

"Hi," Louis says with furrowed eyebrows. "What's wrong?" The worry is clear in the boy's voice and it makes Harry feel like he had done something wrong.

"Hi," Harry says back groggily. "Everything's fine, I'm f-fine." He says after clearing his throat, trying to be subtle, as he wanted his voice to be clearer.

"But you have bruises all over," Louis frowns deeply. It still surprised Harry how the boy could seem so genuinely worried about him.

Harry flashes a small smile to try and make Louis worry less. "I-I just fell over."

Louis raises an eyebrow to him but says nothing. "Okay, well I dropped by to ask if you wanted to hang out?" He asks with a smile on his lips. It was a comforting one, rather than one of his usual happy smiles.

"Okay," Harry says stepping back slowly and letting the older boy in. He waits for Louis to step out of his black vans, then leading him to the living room. It doesn't hit him until they sit down and he feels the fabric of the couch pressing against his bare legs and back. Harry blushes complitely red and mutters something about coming back soon before he escapes back to his bedroom.

He feels like a proper idiot when he stands in front of the closet. Only he could forget about his lack of clothing when seeing Louis. Now the boy must think that he's weird and creepy. He just opened the door in just his boxers. It could've been basically anyone and the thought made Harry cringe. Louis probably needed to wash his eyes with soap to clean up the image of his pudgy hips from his mind.

Could things be worse?

Harry dresses up as quickly as he possibly can without having to wipe away the tears. He is wearing some big joggers and a grey longsleeved shirt as he walks back to the living room where Louis is sitting on the couch, politely waiting for him.

He sits down on the loveseat, flinching slightly as the seat presses too much on one of the bruises on his back. He must have whined also, since Louis looked over to him with the same worried look on his face. Harry just smiles lightly and pretends that nothing had happened.

"So what did you want to do?" Harry breaks the silence with a shy smile. He was still embarrassed over the whole boxer thing and hoped that Louis wouldn't bring it up.

"I thought that we could watch a movie maybe? Or just talk and drink some tea." Louis hums with a soft smile.

"You can pick a movie a-and I can go and make some tea?"

"Works for me," Louis says. "Where are the movies then?" He asks standing up from the couch, his eyes locked on the younger boy.

"There," Harry says quietly, pointing at the tv stand. "The white box."

"Any favourites you'd like to watch?" The older boy asks softly as he walks over to the tv.

Harry shakes his head as an answer. "No, you can pick the one you like."

Louis nods and goes to search through the movies. Harry sits on the loveseat for a moment longer, until he stands up and walks to the kitchen. He stands slightly on his tiptoes as he reaches up to get his tea selection. It hurts, but he pushes the feeling aside.

"Lou?" Harry calls out while holding his box of teas.

"Yeah?"

"D-do you drink black or green tea?"

"Black," Louis calls back. "Do you have Yorkshire tea? If not then everything is fine."

"Okay!" Harry calls back as he looks through his tea selection. He was quite sure that he had the tea the older boy craved since Anne and Gemma were fans of the tea as well. Enventually, the boy finds the tea he was looking for and takes it aside as he moves to fill the kettle with water. He then places it on the stove and turns it on.

While he waits for the water to boil, he walks over to the fridge and pulls out the cookies he baked last time Louis was over. There was still few dozen left, so why not give the boy few. He moves to take out a plate, then placing it on the counter and moving some of the cookies on it. After that, he moves rest of the baked goods back to the fridge.

The hair falling over his eyes, make the boy frown and put his hair into a half bun.

When the tea is ready, Harry takes the two mugs and carries them over to the living room, where Louis is standing over the telly. He doesn't notice Harry coming in, so the younger boy decides to go back and get the cookies.

When he re-enters the room, Louis is sitting on the couch with one of the mugs on his hands and a movie menu on the tv-screen. Harry moves to place the cookie plate on the couch table, then sitting on the couch next to Louis. He surpises the boy with this and he can guess why. He always sat on the loveseat, never next to anyone.

"You found the Yorkshire tea," Louis says softly, moving the mug to his lips and taking a sip of it. As he swallows, he lets out a satisfied sigh. It makes Harry smile.

"Yeah," the boy says. "My mum and Gemma love the tea... She bought it to me for keep in here for when they would visit." He explains moving the mug to his lips. He takes a sip, furrowing his brows as the tea was a lot hotter than Louis let it seem. He stucks his tongue out to make it cool down.

Harry doesn't understand why Louis cooed at him. "Aw, you look like a kitten," Louis coos smiling. "Maybe I should call you kitten from now on."

Harry blushes quite hard at the boy's words and looks down. "What movie did you pick?"

"Harry Potter," Louis says smiling. "It's been a while since I've seen the movies so I just couldn't resist myself as I saw that you had it." He says.

"I like Harry Potter," the younger boy says taking another sip of the tea, this time managing not to burn his tongue. His statement was quite obvious but Louis didn't seem to mind.

"Soulmates we are." Louis jokes lightly, nudging Harry's side playfully. "Ooh, you brought the cookies." He smiles as he glances down to the coffee table. "Do you mind if I take one?"

Harry shakes his head and watches as the boy reaches out and takes a cookie from the plate. He blushes as his eyes meet with Louis' while the blue eyed boy bites down on the cookie. It was weird how much he enjoyed when people liked his cookings.

"So... The movie?" Harry hums almost shyly, looking at his mug.

"Yeah."

Eventually, the movie is rolling on the screen and the two boys watch it in silence. Maybe half an hour into the movie, Harry changes his position and ends up leaning against Louis' side. He tries not to think about it too much as the older boy wraps his arm around his shoulder, pulling him slightly closer, making it more comfortable to Harry. He is shy as he leans his head against Louis' chest and curls his body into a ball. The new position doesn't hurt his back as much as when he was sitting up. This makes him relax fully against Louis.

Louis starts to run his fingers down on the boy's side and his back. The touch is light and soft, but still, after few strokes, he accidentally presses down too hard on one of the bruises and Harry winces. Louis immediately moves his hands so he wasn't touching the boy anymore.

"What's wrong?" He asks. He sounds worried, and if Harry dared to look up he'd most likely see Louis with furrowed eyebrows and a frown. Just as Harry is about to open his mouth Louis cuts him off. "And don't say nothing, you're bruised and it is clear that you didn't fall over. Please, tell me."

"I was walking home from Niall..." Harry starts quietly, his bottom lip wobbling slightly and his eyes down.

_"Hey!" Someone shouted, making Harry turn his head to the side and see four buff guys leaning against a wall. "Yes you, come here."_

_"N-No thanks-- I-I have to get h-home." Harry stutters stepping forward, getting farther away from the men. His heart rate was picking up and all he could focus on was the mocking looks on the men's faces._

_"C'mon princess, we won't hurt you," one of the chuckles, making the others join. "We just want to see what is under those clothes of yours."_

_Harry shakes his head and backs away more. "N-no," he says quieter than before. "I want t-to go home."_

_The words made the men push themself's from the wall and start to make them the way toward the boy. With every step they took forwad, Harry took one back. It was sort of stupid that he kept his eyes on the group as his back eventually hit a wall. He looks at the men with panic rising in his chest. "P-please don't." He whimpers as the foursome stops in front of him._

_The tallest one of them lowers their hand against Harry's cheek, making the boy let out the first sob. "Such a pretty face, don't you think John?"_

_"Yeah, you could let me do him first, you did the blonde last time," one of the men, John he thinks, says._

_"So wouldn't it be my turn? It sucks to go last," the shortest of them huffs. "C'mon guys."_

_"If Tommy goes first tonight, I'll go first the next time."_

_"Okay fine. Tommy starts then me then John and then you Mark since you go fist next." The tallest says to the men, who agree with quiet mumbles._

"Harry, you don't have to," Louis stops Harry's telling with a quiet voice. Harry looks up at him with watery eyes and sees how it seems like Louis was holding back some tears himself.

"N-no you wanted to hear..." Harry whispers biting the inside of his cheek. He watches as Louis slowly shakes his head and moves to wrap his other arm around him again and link their free fingers together.

"Maybe some other time, yeah? I can't hear this right now..." the older boy whispers, squeezing Harry closer, somehow managing not to press down on any of the bruises.

Harry nods and relaxes his head against Louis' chest again. He was feeling restless over the memories from last night but the boy's presence made everything slightly better. The two focus on the movie again, Louis leaning down and leaving few small pecks on Harry's curls once in a while. The kisses make Harry's heart swell and his stomach warms up.

"Can you s-stay the ni-night?" Harry whispers with his eyes down as the movie credits roll on the tv-screen. It was only four pm, but for some reason, Harry felt like he needed to ask now or he wouldn't ask at all.

"You want me to?" Louis asks quietly as he plays with the younger boy's fingers, comparing their size with his own.

He nods against the older boy's chest and just waits to get rejected. He couldn't help it, it was just his way of thinking. "Then I'll stay." Louis surprises Harry with his words. He looks up with puppy dog eyes and blinks.

"Y-you will?"

"Of course I will," he says softly. "We're friends and you want me here, right? And it is not like I have something to do at home, so it'll be nice to have some company."

Harry offers a shy smile that show up his dimples. His eyes weren't as watery anymore as they were before and his mood had lifted majorly with Louis' agreement. "Thank you," he whispers before leaning his head down against Louis' chest again.

"You should smile more, you have a beautiful smile Hazza," Louis says moving his hand light up and down on the boy's side.

The compliment makes a soft blush rise on Harry's cheeks and the smile go wider. "You sh-should hold me more often," he whispers shyly. "You make me f-feel safe."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe yeah will be our always," Louis laughs lightly, making the younger boy giggle along quietly.

"Thank you f-for being here for me..." Harry says quietly, closing his eyes and curling into a smaller ball.

"Anytime," Louis says softly, the smile clear in his voice. "Anytime."


	6. Chapter 6

"There was this little boy with blue eyes and a burning desire to be a firefighter," Harry listens to Louis' quiet voice as he tells him a story when he was little.

"Me mum took me to this fair where firefighters and cops were showing their trucks and what were inside of them," Louis' soft voice and the gentle fingers running through his hair, made everything so peaceful.

"I was so happy that day. One of the firefighters let me sit on the front seat when he drove, because he felt bad for me being so small compared to others, and they were bullying me," Harry frowns at the information. He could imagine small 6-year-old Louis standing in the line to see the truck and other little kids making fun of his height.

Before he can open his mouth and say that he felt bad for him, Louis continued the story. "He talked to me the whole drive-- it was only a ten-minute ride, but it was the best thing ever to me."

"Why do you sound so sad?" Harry asks quietly, his voice sounding quite loud in the quiet room. They were laying on his bed under the covers. It was well past midnight, but Harry didn't want to sleep just yet and Louis offered to stay up with him and cuddle. Probably clear what Harry wanted.

"Well, I started to look up to him, just like every other kid looked up to a celebrity. I just felt like he was a real hero," Louis says humming. "His name was Mark and he apparently took a liking towards me, because they had agreed with me mum that I could visit the station once in every two weeks."

"But that doesn't sound--"

"Let me finish cuddle bug, okay?"

Harry nods with a light smile on his face. He really liked the nickname. "So I started to visit the station regularly and with every visit, my burning passion toward the job grew massively," the older boy stops to take a breath. "But then..."

"You don't h-have to tell me, I don't want to make you sad," Harry whispers, feeling how Louis' heart starts to beat faster.

"I want to, it doesn't make me sad," he says softly before continuing with his story. "But then one day, when we went back to the station, one of the firefighters came to us and told that Mark was in a hospital. He had been inhaling too much smoke as he had hurried inside the burning house they were trying to save. He had heard someone screaming upstairs and his instinct to help had kicked in. He had helped the woman and her baby out of the house and a few minutes later passed out."

"He sounds brave," Harry comments, afraid where the story was going.

"He does," Louis agrees softly. "I started crying as I was scared that something had happened to him. The man telling us, immediately convinced me that everything was okay and we could go see him. He even drove us to the hospital and everything. He did tell us his name, but I can't remember it, I was too caught up with being worried over Mark... So we get to the hospital where they tell me that Mark has slippen into coma-"

"I'm so sorry," Harry whispers frowning.

"Not your fault love. He was in the coma for less than a week and when he woke up, I was there. He was so surprised to see me, a six-year-old boy who he had showed what was it like to be a firefighter, that he actually teared up. He thanked me over and over again, until his pregnant wife came in. I have no idea why she came to visit that late, but I want to think that they lied to her at the station so she wouldn't stress too much, since the stress isn't good for the baby."

"What happened then?"

"Mark moved when his son was born. We didn't keep in touch since it would've been kind of odd. I found out when I was nine or so, that he had died in the line of duty."

"That's why you said that he _was_ a good man..."

"Yeah." Louis says with his voice tight. His breathing was slightly shakier and Harry felt so bad for him. He tries not to over-think it as he lifts his head off the older boy's chest and moves around that he was rather on top of the boy instead of next to him. Even in the dark room, Harry could make out the blue in Louis' eyes. He could also feel the confusion as he leans down and kisses Louis' cheek.

His lips linger against the soft skin for few moments until the panic kicks in.

"Oh god-- I'm so-so sorry! I-I shouldn't have, you-you're not gay-"

"Harry, Harry, calm down. Shh, it's okay love, calm down for me," Louis is quick to pull the boy closer to his chest and press his lips against his temple. "It's okay Hazza, just breath for me."

"I'm so-sorry," Harry hiccups with watery eyes.

_Idiot._

"Shh, it's okay love. I don't mind, okay?" Louis says soothingly, squeezing the trembling boy close. "Just focus on breathing, you're okay-- I'm okay."

Harry closes his eyes and nods lightly as he curls into a small ball next to the older boy. He matches his breathing to Louis' and focuses only on the sound of his heart beat mixing with their breathing.

"Let's sleep, yeah? We can talk about it in the morning." Louis says after Harry had calmed down.

"Okay," Harry whispers, his eyes still closed tight. "Can I... Can I stay here?" He asks referring to his spot on the older boy's chest.

"Of course Haz," Louis smiles. "Good night baby cakes, sweet dreams."

"Good night."

-

They don't talk about it in the morning. By the time Harry wakes up, Louis is already gone. It shouldn't hurt as much as it does since they aren't together, but Harry is already gotten attached. What makes the situation less sad is the note that he left behind.

_Hazza,_

_I'm sorry that I have to leave like this, but me mum called and asked me to come over, she said that it was something important. I will either call or stop by whenever I'm done with her._

_Louis x_

Despite the note, Harry couldn't help but feel like it was about the kiss, it had to be.

Harry swallows his feelings, gets out of bed and walks into the shower. He showers quickly, his body surprisingly well recovering from the horrible night. The movements still hurt like hell, but he could bend over easier.

After the shower, he walks to the kitchen and begins to make himself some tea. He usually wasn't the biggest fan of tea, but he wanted something warm to drink and he was out of cocoa powder.

While he waits for his tea to be ready, he walks to his fridge and opens it. A small sigh escapes his lips as all he can see is the cookies. It was odd since it wasn't long since he had gone to the store, but apparently it had been longer than he remembered. Since he didn't have any food, it was clear that he needed to go and buy some.

Harry didn't like to go to the store that much. He didn't like the feeling when you went to check out your groceries and you could see how the cashier mentally judged you for the ice cream you were buying. Sometimes you just needed something to cry with.

Due the "sudden" need to leave, Harry takes the kettle off of the stove and places it down. He then makes sure to shut down the stove before leaving the kitchen and walking back to his room. He changes his clothes quickly, wondering if he could wear his bandana.

_Your hair looks too girly otherwise, just do it._

With that, he wraps the bandana around his head and is ready to go.

On his way to the store, all Harry can think about is Louis. Somehow the boy had managed to took over his mind and he didn't know what to think of it. It was scary how much Harry already trusted the boy and how attached he had become. All he could hope was that Louis wouldn't go and break the trust.

Eventually, Harry enters the store, picking up a basked while doing so.

_Just don't look up and you'll be fine._

_Act small, don't draw attention to yourself._

He walks through the store, not getting any weird glances or stares. This makes him relax a bit more, but of course, because his life sucks, he hears someone calling his name.

"Harry!" He recognises the voice. It brings back some not-so-pleasant memories. Harry doesn't want to turn around, he really doesn't, but he knows he has to.

"Nick," he says quietly, turning around and flashing a light smile. Nick was standing maybe ten feet away, staring at him with a huge grin on his face. The grin just reminded Harry of the night at the party and all the texts he hadn't replied to.

So yeah Harry isn't that keen to see the man nor getting pulled into his arms for a hug.

"So good to see you! How's everything going? You haven't texted me back, why?" Nick drops the questions in one blur, making it hard to get them all. Harry pulls back with enough force to get out of the tight hold he was kept but not hard enough to make it seem rude.

"Good, I think... I... I didn't-- I didn't know what to a-answer?" Harry says not really knowing what to say. He couldn't just say that he was avoiding him, it'd cause some questions that he couldn't answer honestly.

"Well that's good," Nick says with a smile. "And what's hard with replying that you're keen on seeing me? You seem like a shy kid, so I assumed that it'd be easier to you to answer by text."

_I don't want to talk to you_.

"I don't k-know."

"Okay, I see where this is going," Nick says humming. "We could go back to mine and have that wine? You know, to loosen you up." He continues.

It comes as a surprise to Harry how much he wants to slap the smile off the man's face. He was never the guy to get violent, so it scared him, to say the least. But then again, he didn't want to be in contact with the man and wanted to get him to understand it.

"I don't drink," he says quietly, proud of himself for not stuttering. "I-I'm still underage to drink," Harry adds with a prayer that he could escape the situation.

Unfortunately, his silent prayers went to deaf ears. "In that case, I could always teach you how to drink? Show you how to drink without getting a hangover-- no one would have to know your age love," Nick suggests with a wink.

"I'm good, I-I don't want to drink," Harry says shaking his head. He felt pressured and it was never a good sign when being with someone. "I don't like the t-taste of al-alcohol."

And when Harry thought that Nick had gotten the hint, he opens his mouth once again.

"How's dating life? Have you found your Mr. Right yet, because princess, I think that you're looking at him right now." Nick says with a flirty smile as he steps closer and lowers his hand on the boy's bum. He was practically towering over Harry even with the tiny height difference, hence the confidence the man held.

Harry gulps and starts to shake from fear. This was way too close to him. He trusts only five people to be close to him like this and they were his mother, Gemma, Robin, Louis and Niall. And that was on a good day, on the bad one's he didn't want anyone close.

"I-I have a b-boyfriend," Harry lies quietly. It wasn't nice to lie to people but he wanted to get out of the situation and lying seemed to be the only option to get out. He could also imagine that if Nick knew that he was indeed single, he would be all over him until he said yes. He was saving himself.

Instead, what Harry expected, Nick doesn't let go of his bum, nor step away. Quite the opposite actually since he comes even closer. "What is the lucky lad's name then?" He asks whispering to the boy's ear, making him shake more visibly.

The question startles the younger boy who wasn't prepared for it. Something inside him made him whisper quietly, "Louis". The name seemed to do the trick. Nick steps back, his hand lingering against Harry's hip.

"Well, that's a shame. I would've loved to take you out," Nick's voice holds unidentified emotion that leaves Harry confused and uncomfortable. "We could do that, though? Friends go out, yeah?"

"S-sure," Harry says quickly. "But I-I have to get my sh-shopping done..." he says stepping back, holding back the urge to run.

"Of course, see you around." Nick winks before turning around and disappearing between the isles.

Harry stands there for few moments, breathing deep and steady, trying to calm down his nerves. He was okay, Nick left him be for now.

_Just get over it and shop_.

He does that, walking around the store, picking up things from here and there. He manages not to see Nick anymore and feels better again when he heads to the checkout.

Harry waits for his turn in the short line and in no time it was his turn. He empties his basket to the conveyer and puts it on the stack after he is done. He looks up to the cashier, who happes to be a good-looking boy, with a light brown curly hair, greenish brown eyes and dimples. His features reminded Harry of himself, but of course, he thought that the stranger was better looking over all.

"Hi," Harry says quietly, smiling lightly as he stops in front of the counter. He looks the boy's shirt, noticing the name tag. Ashton.

"Hi," Ashton smiles brightly. "Having a party or do you just eat a lot?" He asks teasingly, making Harry blush lightly.

_He thinks that you're fat._

"No-- I just... I-I don't like to go to the store, so I try to b-buy everything at once." Harry explains pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

"Oh yeah, I hate it too. That's why I usually do the shopping after my shift." Ashton hums, keeping the small talk going with the small information.

Harry smiles shyly. "I wish I could do that too," he says quietly. Ashton gave him the same comforting aura that Louis had.

"Perks of working in a store." He comments. "I am aware that I may come off as a creep right now, but can I have your number?" Ashton asks smiling softly.

"W-what?" Harry asks dumbfounded. He heard what the boy said, but he didn't know if he trusted his ears.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to give me your number that we could talk sometime?" Ashton repeats his question with his cheeks tinted pink.

"As f-friends?" Harry asks carefully.

_Why would someone want something more from you?_

Nick did.

_Oh shit, you're right._

"Yeah, as friends. I have a boyfriend." Ashton explains with a smile. "I hope you're okay with that? I mean you're cute and all but yeah, I'm happily in a relationship."

"N-no, it's-- it's okay." Harry smiles back.

"Cool," Ashton says as he pulls out his phone and gives it to the boy. Harry holds the phone carefully as he types in his number. Right after he gives the phone back, he feels a hand on his hip. Before he can properly react to it, Nick opens his mouth.

"I thought you had a boyfriend, but yet, here you are handing your number to strangers."

Harry freezes, having no idea what to say. He flashes a panicked look to Ashton who luckily jumps into the conversation with a lie.

"Oh me and Harry were neighbours growing up before I moved away," he starts with a shrug. "And I got a new phone so I just needed his number to keep in touch."

In his head, Harry wonders how the boy knew his name since he had never said it to him.

"Oh, I'm Harry's friend. Nick, nice to meet you." Nick says keeping his hand on Harry's hip while he holds his hand out for Ashton to shake.

"Ashton, nice to meet you too." Ashton says while shaking the man's hand. Harry stands there uncomfortably, waiting for an opportunity to get out of the situation. The boy behind the counter seems to notice this as he subtly raises his eyebrows at him. He shakes his head and Ashton seems to understand the silent message as he turns his attention back to Nick, who seemed to be oblivious to the silent conversation.

"I'm gonna go back to the line," Nick says clearing his throat. "I'll text you later princess." He says walking away.

Harry sighs in relief, looking down to the floor. He didn't like it how he needed help with getting out of situations like that. "Thank you," he says quietly, looking up to see Ashton scanning the groceries.

"No problem, really. You can thank me by telling the story behind that guy, though? If that's okay."

"It's kind of an l-long story... I-- we could see la-later? You could b-bring your boyfriend and-and I could ask Louis to come?" Harry finds himself suggesting. He never did anything like that.

"Great, I'll text you, yeah?" Ashton smiles as he taps in the final price of the groceries.

Harry nods slightly as he takes out his wallet and pays for his things. Ashton offers to help him pack, but he declines.

_Don't look too weak._

After he has everything paid and packed, he says a shy-ish good bye to the boy before making his way out of the store. Times like these, he wished he had a car. It wasn't the best thing ever to carry three grocery bags home for few kilometres.

Eventually, he gets home, just in time as his phone starts to ring. He places the bags to the kitchen before accepting the call.

"Hi?"

"I'm sorry that I left like that, but me mum needed me to take care of the twins while she picked up Dan from the airport," Louis says before Harry can properly end his word.

"It's o-okay, I'm not mad," Harry says honestly.

"I still feel bad."

"Don't," Harry frowns lightly. "I-I made a new friend t-today."

"Really? I'm happy for you Hazza. I can't wait to hear more about it, but I'm in a rush... the twins woke up from their nap."

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry, love. Can I come over later? I can cook us something?"

"It's okay, you don't-- you don't have to," Harry says quietly.

"I want to."

"O-okay," Harry says quietly. "I-I see you later then."

"Bye Curly."

"Bye," Harry whispers before ending the call. It was dumb, really, how he felt unwanted because of the short call. Louis had a good reason for it and it wasn't even a possibility that he'd be lying. But that just was how Harry was.

Harry puts his phone away and distracts himself with putting the groceries away and cleaning the already spotless kitchen.

He waits for Louis who never comes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I think I figured out how to make chapter notes? Haha. 
> 
> Um so yeah, I hope you enjoy the chapter and as a warning, this chapter has selfharming in it, so don't read the end of it if you're tiggered!
> 
> MASSIVE THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND READS! You have no idea how happy that makes me and how much I appreciate it x

A week.

It has been _a week_ since Louis stood him up. It felt a lot longer, but it was exactly seven days. No calls, no texts, no random stop by's by his door- nothing. Harry's feelings were all over the place to put it nicely. He was sad, confused and just over all on the edge for some reason. It was stupid in a way since the two hadn't known each other for that long, but to Harry it felt like they had been friends forever. He knew more things about Louis than he knew about Zayn and he had been friends with the latter for years. Harry was just over all more comfortable around Louis than most people.

That's one of the things that Harry believes that pushed Louis away, he was too clingy. He was too eager to be around the older boy and didn't notice that he was annoyed of it. Other thing that he thinks that may have caused this radio silence, was all his flaws. He wasn't social at his best, he was shy, anxious and he stuttered ninetynine percent of the time. He understood that it must have gotten annoying at some point- Niall had just grown to get used to it apparently. 

_Or maybe you're too disgusting to look at._

That could be it too. Harry was mad at himself as he hadn't noticed all this from Louis. He hadn't noticed how the blue eyed boy was getting tired of him. Maybe if Harry hadn't asked him to stay the night everything would be okay. If he hadn't kissed him, everything could be fine. 

Why did he have to ruin everything with the kiss? 

After the kiss, everything went down hill. He should've known that Louis wasn't gay, it had been so obvious. A small voice in his head tells him that he couldn't possibly have known something like that, but the louder voice that yelled at him, was getting all his attention. 

But most likely it was just all these things combined. Harry was too clingy, he wasn't bubbly and talkative, he was anxious and awkward. He had kissed Louis though knowing that he wasn't gay. He was so ugly and fat that the boy just couldn't bear to see him again. 

"Harry, are you listening?" Niall's voice brings him back to the reality. He was dining with Liam, Zayn and Niall in a small restaurant they had been going to for a year or so now. Well, originally it had just been him, Niall and Zayn, but since Niall and Liam was a thing now a days, it was natural that he tagged along.

Harry snaps his eyes to the boy and flashes a small smile. His speciality. "Yeah," he hums lightly. "Just got lost in my thoughts for a second, that's all. What were you talking about?"

"Are you okay, H? You were quiet for some time," Zayn asks with his eyebrows furrowed. It was odd, since Harry was quiet for the most of the time anyways. 

The boy still looks over to Zayn who was sitting next to him and nods, "All good."

Zayn didn't look that convinced, but clearly let it go. "We were just talking about how the latest Harry Potter movie was a good one," Niall changes the subject back. "Eddie Redmayne is hot, so that might be it." He shrugs innocently.

"Babe, you know that it tecnically isn't a Harry Potter movie? It's just from the same author and involves around wizards. Harry Potter isn't even mentioned," Liam says nudging his boyfriend's side. "And really now? Trying to make me jealous?"

"But it is before Harry was even born! Obviously they're not going to talk about someone who doesn't even excist," the blonde rolls his eyes. "And what else would I do in my life than to make you jealous?" He adds teasingly, moving to peck Liam's cheek.

The gesture reminded Harry of Louis and how he had pecked his cheek when they were cuddling. He remembers how Louis' lips were soft and gentle against his skin. And it was so perfect, until he went and ruined everything like usual.

"I'm kind on in the same page as Niall in this one," Zayn chirps into the conversation. "Just because they don't mention Harry, it doesn't mean that it isn't a Harry Potter movie."

"Ganging up against me now?" Liam asks, amusement clear in his voice. It was just a friendly bicker if even that. "I still don't think that it is a Potter movie, no matter what you say."

"I-I think that the original movies were better," Harry says quietly. It wasn't often that he would tell others his own opinions, but he wanted to be a part of the conversation. The new movie was great, don't get him wrong, but he liked the old ones better. 

"But the special effects were so much better in this one!" Niall exclaims. "And the plot was so interesting." He continues, looking at Harry like he was crazy.

"It was interesting in the originals as well..."

"They are both good," Zayn offers smiling softly to the both of them. He was usually the one on Harry's side whenever they had different opinions with Niall. It was a comforting thought, though there were times when Zayn was the worst of the two. He had his days, like most people.

Liam nods along the raiven haired man. "I think so too. The special effects were of course better since it has been years since the first one came out. I would be dissapointed if that wasn't the case." 

Somewhere along Liam's dialogue Harry zones out again.

Maybe he should call Louis? Apologize and promise not to kiss him again? 

_You'd just look desperate, don't bother._

Maybe if he asked Niall for advice? The blonde knows Harry the best after all and it'd be awkward to ask advice for boy problems from his mother. Anne would happily help, but Harry would have to explain it all to her first and he didn't feel like sharing every humiliating thing about it. Then again he'd have to go through the exactly the same with Niall. 

Harry felt like screaming. He wishes that he wasn't so hopeless that he could do things without asking for advice from others. He was almost eighteen anyways, only two months left. Christmas was coming along too and he was really waiting to go back home and relax.

Even though the money was really tight, he had managed to buy his mother a nice necklace. It was from Pandora and it costed 75 pounds. It was expencive- too expencive, but it had a meaning behind it. The two small hearts, the golden and the silver, represents himself and Gemma. Anne had originally had two heart rings (gold and silver) and was devastaded when she lost them. So, he thought that it'd be appreciated.

For Gemma he had gotten some weird, pink beaty egg. It costed around 20 pounds and If he remembers right, the lady in the store had said something about blending the face makeup, but he wasn't sure. He did know that Gemma used makeup from time to time, so the gift could be nice. And if not, he had a backup present, a card with a promise to take her to the movies and for dinner or luch- quality sibling time.

Robin was a bit harder case. The man was modest and didn't need much. Harry had asked him what he would like to have, but Robin had just told him to not to worry about it. After few hours of walking around the mall, he had walked into a record store and found some vinyl records from Beatles and got two of those. He had a memory of him talking about the Beatles and how he would listen to them as a small boy. 

They had agreed with Niall that they wouldn't exchange any gifts this year, but he had still gotten him an autographed golfball. It was signed by some famous Irish player, Rory McIlroy. And because he was cliché like that, he thought that it'd be nice to give the Irish boy a ball with an Irish name on it. Maybe it was lame, who knows, it just was little something to show that he cared.

The gifts came from the heart and they would love them. At least Harry hoped so since he couldn't afford on proper food for few weeks now.

He really needed to get a job. It was getting hard to get by as he didn't want to ask for more money from Anne. She had offered to help him with the bills and Harry knows that she'd be more than happy to do so, but it wouldn't be fair. She was paying for his education already and some of his rent. 

The money he didn't get from his family, he got them from all kinds of student loans. Harry haited taking them, but he knew that it was the only way of getting by. He wishes he could still live at home where everything would be easier. He wouldn't have to worry about the bills or the food, but the only problem there was that he'd have two hour drive to school and back every day. The first years of high school he did do that. He took the bus every morning at 5:30 and rode the same bus back after school. 

After the two years they agreed with his mother that it was affecting on the boy's studies and his energy levels and that it'd be easier if he moved closer to his school. It was easier to Anne to let him go, as Niall and Zayn did the same as well. 

"...And Harry is on board as well, so why not?" 

"W-what?" Harry asks in confusion as he catches the last part of the sentece, bringing him back to the table, again.

"You know, our movie night? Tomorrow?" Niall says slowly, like to a child. "We always have a boy's night on the 19th of December, before we go home for the holidays. Did you forget?" 

Actually, Harry had forgotten. He had been too busy dwelling on his sadness over Louis that he had forgotten that Niall, Liam and Zayn were coming over along with Ed. Well, he didn't know if Ed was coming as well, but last year he had tagged along, so Harry asumed that he was coming this year as well. 

"No, I just- yeah," Harry says quietly, biting the inside of his cheek. "Who will be coming?"

Niall and Zayn share a look, before the raiven haired boy opens his mouth. "Well, me, Ni, Liam of course, Ed and we were thinking about inviting Louis as well."

Louis? No, not Louis. "Y-you've talked about it to h-him?" 

"Yeah I just called him yesterday to catch up and to see how he was doing and stuff," Niall says humming. "I mentioned our get together and he seemed to be happy to come."

That stung. Louis had been talking to Niall while avoiding Harry. Okay he hadn't tried to contact the boy, mostly out of fear so he tecnically couldn't blame it on Louis. "Okay," he says nodding lightly. He didn't feel like explaining if they wondered why he didn't want Louis there. 

"What are we going to eat?" Liam asks turning the subject elsewhere. "Should we order some pizza, or?"

"Sounds good to me," Zayn says and Niall nods along. Harry wasn't the greatest fan of pizza since it was so greesy and he could never find good toppings. He prefered home cooked meals, but he didn't want to point it out as they usually ate junk food at these gatherings. And it was three against one anyways, so he'd loose the argument in seconds.

"Great, so now me just need to-" Liam is cut off with his phone ringing. He checks the caller before excusing himself from the table. All three boys "stare" at the boy before focusing back to each other.

"Should we rent a movie or does anyone have Netflix?" Niall asks smiling. "I want to see a good scary movie." 

Zayn seems to keen on the suggestion. "I don't have Netflix, but I think that we could rent better movies anyways. We could have a horror fest or what ever they're called!"

"You mean like horror movie marathon?" 

"Yeah, that!"

"Umm... Could we maybe watch a comedy?" Harry asks, interrupting the two's planning. Harry was easily scared and he needed at least two people to sleep next to him afterwards. Usually Niall cuddled him during and after the movie, but now that Liam was in the picture, he doubted that it was going to happen. "Like, between the movies?"

"Harry," Niall starts softly. "I'll cuddle you if you get scared, okay? Just like the old times." He says with a soft smile. It was the smile that the boy used to calm him down and do what he asked to do. Or at least try to do.

"But what about Liam?" Harry asks biting his lip.

"He can take care of himself, you're my number one Haz. You're like my brother." 

A genuine smile rises on Harry's cheeks at the words. They were sincere, he always knew when Niall was being sincere and this was one of the times. "Thank you Ni," he smiles. "You're like a brother to me too." 

"Love you mate," Niall says softly. 

"Love you too."

-

_"C'mon, keep the whore in place!" The tallest snaps at the other while he tries to get Harry's pants down. Harry is fighting back with all he has, although it is in vain as he is clearly outnumbered with no experience of self defence or fighting at all._

_"He's surprisingly strong," one of them grumbles as he finally manages to properly pin the boy against the wall. "Now sweetheart," the same man continues. "Promise to stay quiet, pretty?"_

_"Be quick Tommy, we need to do this fast," the tallest says again, clearly unpatient._

_The shortest- Tommy, mutters something as he moves to run his fingers down Harry's body slowly, savouring. The boy shivers under the touch, making the man smirk. "Look at you enjoying my touch. Such a needy slut, aren't you?" He whispers to Harry's ear, making him whimper and sob harder._

_"P-please," he begs once again. "P-please don't."_

_"Shut up." Is the last thing before the pain._

Harry snaps his eyes open and screams outloud, scratching his body like crazy. He could still feel the touches and smell the smell of smoke lingering on the men. He starts to shake almost immediately as he sits up and rushes to the bathroom. He couldn't take it anymore, he just couldn't.

He rummages through the cabinets until he finds what he's looking for. He leans against the cold wall of the shower and slides down to sit.

Harry turns the razor in his hads, building up the courage to press it against his skin. 

_Do it. It'll make you feel better._

_You're worthless._

It would be just a little bit of blood. It'd make him feel lighter and he would do the world a favor for punishing himself. He needed to change, be less awkward and unsure of himself. He needed to be more confident and not so dependant on others. 

_For christ sakes, do it already._

With a shaky breath, Harry places the razor to his right hand and holds his left wrist against his knees. He slowly moves the blade against his skin and after few deep breaths and tears that fall, he moves the razor horizontally across his wrist. He hisses at the sting that comes immediately as the blood starts to flow. 

It's so facinating to watch the blood flow against his skin toward his elbow. Harry moves the razor lower and cuts again. And again, until he has three cuts bleeding on his wrist. His right hand's skin feels itchy, so he moves to repeat the same to his right hand. 

After that he drops the razor and looks down at his arms where he can see six deep cuts on his wrists. 

"Oh god," Harry gasps panicing. "No- no, no no! What- no, stupid." He whimpers, his legs staring to shake. He rushes to start the shower and moves his bloody wrists under the flowing water. He cries in pain as the water hits the cuts, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut as he forces himself to keep his arms put.

He stands there for three minutes until he moves to his cabinet. He pulls out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton wipes. If he thought that the water stung, he clearly didn't think about the sting that would come from the alcohol. It takes him good twenty minutes to clean all the cuts and wrap some gauze around them. They still hurt like hell, but it was the prize he had to pay for being stupid.   

It was stupid, so stupid, but now that he had bandaged everything up, he felt- nice. Good even. Light. 

He wasn't planning on doing it again right away, but deep down he knew that now that he had done it, he couldn't go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to make the next on better so bear with me okay? :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for taking so long!

_Just breathe in and out, it'll be okay._

_You'll be okay_.

Or at least that's what Harry tried to convince himself. He was trying to tidy his place to the perfection, even though it was already spotless as always. He had to make sure to clean up his bathroom properly after the... incident. He also had to make sure that his wrists were clean and covered, which brought out a problem. How would he hide the gauzes from everyone and not get any questions? Harry knew that he had some bracelets from when he was younger, but he just couldn't remember where he had put them.

He had an hour before Niall was coming over and all he had left to do was to pull out the air mattress and get it ready. And find the bracelets of course.

Harry makes sure that the kitchen is all ready and clear before he makes his way to his room. He walks straight to his closet and opens the drawer that held his clean sheets and towels. He pulls out five sets of sheets, just the right amount to give to the boys. He was really grateful that his mother had given him so many sheets when he moved. He only had two duvets, one of them for himself, so he opened another drawer and took out another pile of blankets. They would have to do.

After he has everything gathered he changes the sheets to the blankets and the duvet. The boys would have to fight over them. Since Harry lived in a one bedroom flat, he wondered where everyone would sleep. Someone would have to sleep on the bed with him, two would fit on the air mattress and one of them would sleep on the couch. So he was one sleeping place short.

He wasn't sure if everyone would spend the night, but he was almost hundred percent sure that they were. Niall, Liam, and Zayn at least. Niall and Liam would take the air mattress since they wanted to sleep together. And since they would most likely cuddle, they would survive with blankets. Zayn is probably going to sleep next to him because Ed knew about his discomfort around people. Then there was Louis of course. Harry wasn't sure if he was planning on staying the night, but if he was, there would be some back and forth over the couch.

All the thinking was making Harry's head hurt so he focused more on the preparation. Just as he gets everything ready, his phone beeps signaling that he got a message. He places the duvet down onto his bed before he pulls out his phone.

**Niall:** _hi H, Eddie can't make it tonight, he has some stuff to do with Ellie_

**Harry:** _oh, okay. Everyone has a place to sleep then_

**Harry:** _when are you coming?_

Yeah, sure they had agreed on the time, but Harry still wanted to make sure. He puts his phone back into his pocket while he walks over to the closet and pulls out the air mattress. Might as well get it settled before the boys came.

Harry finishes up everything in no time, his forehead feeling slightly sweaty. He sits down with a deep sigh and takes his phone out to check out if Niall had answered.

**Niall:** _Liam is on his way to get me, so about thirty mins :) see ya soon Haz_

**Harry:** _okay :)x_

The boy doesn't waste a second to stand up and move to his desk. He had yet to find the bracelets and to put them on. Because even if Niall and Liam would arrive in thirty, he had to be ready in case Louis or Zayn would arrive earlier.

He takes out two boxes, where he kept all his old concert ticket, old drawings from Gemma and so on. They were for stuff he didn't necessary need but didn't have the heart to throw away. For stuff that had memories attached to them.

After some rummaging, he finds few of his old rainbow bracelets he had gotten from Niall when he had come out to him. It was sweet, especially after Harry had found out that the blonde had gotten himself a matching one. He also had a one that said I study rainbows and it was by far his favorite one.

Before Harry was openly gay, he and his family had been on a vacation in Canada. He and Gemma had been walking down the busy streets and at one point came across with a small shop. They had gone in and looked around. The bracelet caught his attention as he was strolling by. He had stopped and immediately fallen in love with the thing. He bought it right away and he came out to his family that day. It was still the best decision he had ever made.

He put it on his right hand along with two hearties, since he didn't want to put more bracelets on with the rainbow one. It deserved to be worn alone.

  
He slipped a basic purple bracelet onto his left hand along with a black one that had some text on it on pink. And to top it all, he put on his old Leeds bracelet as well. It was almost completely broken, but it was the best he had and it did the job with covering the gauzes.

Thirty or so minutes passed and soon enough Harry was sitting on the loveseat. He was looking over to the couch, where Liam and Niall were sitting. The pair was sitting close to one another, Niall almost on the other boy's lap. Their closeness made Harry jealous as he wanted to cuddle someone as well. Louis, if he would have a choice.

"So," Harry starts quietly, getting the attention from the two. "I assumed that you'd like to sleep together? And if you do, you'd get the air mattress?"

"Is that even a question? Of course, I want to sleep with my cuddle bear," Niall says grinning with his eyes locked on Liam's face. His face said it all, he was long gone for the boy.

Liam visibly blushes at the nickname and moves to pinch Niall's side. "You promised not to call me that when we're around others," he says with red cheeks, making Niall giggle.

"Aw, don't mind Haz, he's okay with it! Right Haz?"

Harry almost burns under the torturing stare that Niall was giving him. "Right... I don't mind," he nods lightly. "Did Zayn say when he was getting here?" Harry asks while playing with his fingers. He actually wanted to know if Louis was coming anytime soon, but he didn't have the courage to ask.

"He said around seven, I think?" Niall says with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "So," he hums looking down to his wristwatch, "at any minute now."

Almost like on demand, the doorbell rings. Harry stands up from his seat and makes his way toward the door. He opens it, assuming that it's Zayn, but gets surprised as the door reveals the blue eyed boy.

"Hi," Louis smiles softly with his eyes locked to Harry's. "May I come in?"

Harry nods in his awkward stage, stepping back and letting Louis get inside. "Hi," Harry says after he closes the door again. "H-How are you?" He asks quietly.

Louis looks up to him after he pushes his shoes next to the wall. "I'm good Harry, how are you?" He asks with a genuine look on his face as if he actually cared. Harry didn't know if he should trust it or not, after everything.

"I'm okay," Harry says forcing a smile on his face. He didn't know what he expected. Maybe an apology from Louis or an explanation on why he hadn't reached out to him?

Why would he?

"Shall we?" He asks pointing toward the living room, where they could hear Niall and Liam talking. Louis just nods with a light smile, before they make their way to the room.

"Louie! I didn't know that you were coming this early!" Niall exclaims grinning as he stands up from the couch and pulls the boy in for a tight embrace. "You said you'd come around eight-ish."

Louis laughs lightly as he hugs the blonde back. Harry couldn't help but admire the way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. "I thought so, but me mom said that I could leave earlier. Fizzy felt a lot better and Lottie came home early, so they promised to look after the little monsters."

Harry furrows his eyebrows as he listens to the two talk. He wasn't eavesdropping or anything, they were just talking loudly and it was hard to miss it. "Aw, it's okay man. The main thing is that you're here, right?" Niall smiles pulling back from the hug. "Now all we need is Zayn and we can get this party started!"

Louis laughs again as he steps back and glances toward Harry. The look on his face is meant to tell him something, but Harry can't read it. The crease between his brows deepens as he tries to understand it. It is too late, though since Louis has already turned his attention back to Niall.

"Oh! We should order the pizza already, yeah? Since Zayn will be here any second, it'd be nice to have the food ready for him," Niall says gleefully.

"But what if he is late?" Liam comments. "Then the food would be cold when he arrives."

"You don't think about the time that takes to deliver the pizza," Louis smiles teasingly. "It takes at least twenty minutes, probably more. So I think that we could order and Zayn would still have plenty of time to come."

"But do we know what kind of pizza he likes?" Harry asks making all the boys turn their attention to him.

Niall nods, "He loves basic ham-pineapple pizza. So we'll just get him that."

"Okay, sounds good," the boys agree and soon enough Niall is on the phone with the pizzeria, listing off the orders.

Liam, Louis, and Harry talk about everything and nothing. Well, Louis and Liam talk while Harry just sits there and listens to them, saying a comment or two. Their conversation is interrupted, however, when Niall starts ordering the sixth pizza.

"Love, Eddie is not coming, remember?" Liam says softly as Niall finishes up the order.

"I know," the blonde says humming while he sets the phone down. "Why are you reminding me?" He asks walking over to them and sitting on his boyfriend's (?) lap.

Liam wraps his strong arms around him and shrugs. "You ordered six pizza's when there is only five of us, that's all."

Niall blushes lightly and shrugs. "Just in case I get hungry," he explains almost shyly. It was a thing that he never was. Shy.

"Aw, it's fine Niall," Louis laughs softly smiling at the two. "Now if you two lovebirds don't mind, I'd love to have a seat as well."

The pair shares a glance filled with fondness before nodding. "You could sit on the loveseat, though," Liam points out as he moves to the other end of the couch with Niall still in his lap. He made the move look really effortless like Niall weighed nothing.

"Nah, it's Harry's seat," Louis shakes his head with a hum as he moves over to the couch and sits down.

It was really dumb how Harry felt sad over the fact that Louis didn't call him Hazza. Harry just sounded so neutral and distant- okay he was definitely tired or something.

"You could've sat here," Harry says as he sits down on the loveseat. "I wouldn't have minded." And okay it kind of was a lie since he was quite fond of the seat. He always sat there and sometimes even slept on it.

_Too attached to a piece of furniture._

To his defense, he had gotten it from his mother, who had gotten it from her dad and so on. It was quite old and it held a funny smell, but it was loved dearly.

Louis looks to Harry and just softly shakes his head. "It's your place Hazza. You're the most comfortable when sitting there."

Harry doesn't know what to say, so he just nods and smiles lightly. The biggest reason behind the smile was most likely the nickname that fell off Louis' lips. Before he can fangirl any further, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," he says standing up. He walks over to the door, opening it to reveal Zayn.

"Hi."

"Hi," Zayn smiles softly as he steps inside. "I guess that everyone is already here?" He hums as he slips out of his shoes.

"Yeah," Harry nods keeping his hands behind his back. Zayn had always been the most observant one of the group, so he was careful not to show the wrists. Not that the raven haired boy would comment on it. It was almost like they had an agreement that he wouldn't put him on the spot, especially not in front of the others. But it didn't mean that he wanted Zayn to know.

Zayn nods picking up his bag and walking after Harry to the living room, where he is greeted with wide grins. They change what's new- it isn't that much considering that they had seen each other few days prior. They then gather on the couches, Liam and Niall sitting in each other's arms, per usual. It takes them a good ten minutes to figure out how the Netflix works on tv. When they finally get it right, the pizza is already there.

Niall goes to open the door and pays the pizza while the rest of the boys go through the movie options. Harry watches the boys argue over what movie they should watch.

"But The Visit sounds so good!"

"No, my buddy Stevie saw it and said that it wasn't even scary."

"How about the Saw-"

"Don't even, Niall. The worst scary movie series there is. It isn't even scary, it's just disgusting with all the blood and- ugh."

"Liam! Zayn is being mean!"

"Oi, don't bring your boyfriend into this."

"Baby-"

"Don't baby me, you're not helping!"

"That's right Liam stay out of this."

That goes on for a while before Louis suggests that they should watch Ouija. No one disagrees with it and that's how they end up watching the movie with their plates full with pizza.

Niall was full of shit when he said that he'd cuddle Harry during the movies. He was too busy hiding his face to Liam's chest while Harry sat on the loveseat alone and scared. He was clutching onto one of the pillows tightly and hiding his face behind it whenever a scary scene came.

It was kind of funny how all the boys were scared- some more than others, but still scared. Either Zayn was the best at hiding his fears or then he just wasn't that scared.

Half way through the movie Harry's eyes lock with Louis'. It was kind of accident. Harry was meaning to just look away from the screen, and somehow his eyes just diverted to the boy. Louis was already looking at him when their eyes met and it made the younger boy's heart warm up.

He was in too deep already.

"Scared?" Louis mouths to him, not wanting to bother the other boys.

Harry nods and tightens his grip on the pillow. It may have been a reach, but he felt like Louis was asking him because he wanted to cuddle. His heart started to beat faster as the older boy moved his blanket out of the way and stood up. Louis walked behind the couch and came up to Harry.

The younger boy looks up as he scoots forward giving Louis enough room to fit behind him. He waits for the boy to get comfortable before he leans against his chest. His body is tense until Louis moves his arms around him. He smiles to himself as he lifts his blanket over the both of them. Harry could feel some eyes on them, assuming that it had to be Niall.

And yeah, how could he blame him when he never let anyone touch him besides Niall.

Louis moves his hands softly up and down Harry's stomach and chest. The movements created a soothing and steady rhythm. Once in a while he'd stop his hands over Harry's upper stomach and squeeze ever so lightly. On the scariest parts, he helped Harry to hide his face by lifting the blanket over his head.

It wasn't necessary, but Harry still really appreciated it.

_Maybe he is just subtly trying to choke you._

The movie eventually ends, the ending predictable as usual. Harry stretches in Louis' arms, accidentally hitting Louis on the face while doing so. "Sorry," Harry says quickly. He glances over his shoulder to see that Louis' eyes were focused on his wrist. He quickly pulls his hands down and against his chest. He keeps his eyes on the screen where the movie credits are rolling, praying to God that he wouldn't comment on it.

"Shall we watch another one?" Niall suggests smiling, seeming weirdly happy considering how scared he was moments ago.

"I'm down," Zayn nods as he stretches. They look over to Liam who nods pulling the blonde tighter to his chest.

"I'm fine with it too, I'll just help Harry with his dishes. It shouldn't take too long," Louis says sitting up straight. Harry almost wants to dismiss the older boy and say that he didn't have any dishes but he didn't want to make a scene.

"Yeah," he says instead and stands up slowly, not really wanting to do it. "You can pick the movie," he adds as he walks out of the room with Louis.

He walks up to the window, looking out into the darkness. Since Louis was the one wanting to talk, Harry would let him speak first. His hands were shaking beside him, but he ignored the best he could. This was not the time to be weak.

"Harry," Louis speaks up, his voice quiet as he walks behind him. "Can you show me your bracelets? I thought that they looked interesting," he requests, holding his hand out to the younger boy.

Harry sees all this from the reflection on the window. His eyes meet Louis again, this time his heart starts to beat faster instead of warming up. "Do I have to?"

"I'd really like to see them," Louis says nodding.

Harry sighs and turns around to face him. He looks down at his hands, then glancing back up. He slowly lifts his hands up and toward Louis. He watches how the older boy takes a sharp breath as he reaches out to take his left hand between his. Louis studies the bracelets with his eyebrows furrowed and a pout on his lips.

When he moves to take one of the bracelets off, Harry pulls his hand back. He drops his eyes to the bracelets, scared to look back up.

"Please Harry, let me see," Louis pleads, his voice sounding vulnerable. It absolutely breaks Harry and makes him cave in. He holds his hands out to the boy again and closes his eyes as Louis removes the first bracelet.

Every second, every breath is pure torture. Harry can feel the hurt in Louis' movements and hear the way he is shaken up. "Why?" Louis asks after the last bracelet is off and the gauze is on the floor. His voice sounds so sad and broken that it breaks Harry.

"I-I-" Harry stutters with his eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to look at Louis, knowing that the look behind his eyes was even worse than the hurt behind his voice.

"Harry look at me."

Harry shakes visibly as he opens his eyes. They were already forming tears, while his bottom lip was quivering. He was right. The look behind Louis' eyes was the worst. It was a mix of sadness, betrayal and some feeling that Harry couldn't detect.

And what was he feeling?

Shame.

"Why? Why would you do this?" Louis asks, his voice quiet. He keeps the eye contact strong and pleading.

"I-I... I just- I..." Harry shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Deserved i-it."

"No," the older boy shakes his head immediately and pulls the boy into his arms, holding him tightly. "You does not deserve this." He says firmly. "I don't know what made you think that you do, but you don't."

Harry shakes his head and clutches onto the boy. "I'm sorry," he cries quietly. He was sorry for the look behind the blue eyes.

"I have to tell Niall about this- he can help you," Louis says holding him tightly.

What he doesn't expect is Harry to freak out and pull away. "No! N-no, no! H-he can't know," he says panicking, his breathing getting unsteady. He couldn't have Niall knowing. Niall was in a honeymoon pace with Liam and he didn't want to ruin it for him.

"Harry-"

"Y-you can't- please? Please, don't," Harry begs with wide eyes. "Please?"

Louis looks like he was having an inner battle. He turns his gaze to the window and stares out for ten seconds. Harry counted. "I won't tell-"

"Thank yo-"

"I won't tell... If. If you promise to me that you'll never- ever do it again and that you will tell me the whole story why you did it. The second I notice new marks, I will tell Niall."

"O-okay, thank you," Harry whispers looking down to his hands. He feels Louis' eyes on him when he lowers himself down and picks up the gauze. He holds out his hand to Harry, silently asking for his hand. Harry gives it to him and watches as Louis takes his time redoing his wrist.

Once it is all covered up, Louis lets it go and looks straight into Harry's eyes. "We should go back."

Harry nods once again and follows the older boy into the living room. No one comments on the length of their conversation or the redness in Harry's eyes. They just walk to the loveseat, sit down and get back into the position they were earlier. Harry against Louis' chest with his strong arms around him. It is tenser than it was earlier, but it was understandable.

"So we decided that we'd watch Conjuring," Zayn opens his mouth looking over to the pair.

They look over to him, nod, and that is how they continue the night. It's all calm and Harry ends up sleeping next to Louis as Zayn falls asleep on the couch.

If he said that he was disappointed in falling asleep in Louis' arms, he would be lying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not able to update in the following two weeks. In Finland we have this thing called testweek (5 times a year) when we have 5 to 8 tests in 7 days. I have 7 and my focus will be on them. 
> 
> I'm sorry, and I'll try to update as soon as I can!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! The chapter is slightly longer than normally, so I hope that it'll help a little?  
> Love you all, thank you for reading and for the kudos and for commenting! Means a lot x  
> Also, today isn't a good day for me, but I hope that this will make at least one of you smile x  
> Sorry for rambling!  
> Enjoy!

The Christmas went by in a blur, as well as the New Years. Harry spent them with his family, as he felt too comfortable to leave after Christmas. Gemma stayed through the holidays as well, so it was like a dream come true to Anne. Nothing major or out of the ordinary happened. Harry managed to keep his cuts hidden with long sleeved shirts. Afterward, when he thought about it, he felt idiotic. Why? Because he could've done it when the boys were over as well. The bracelets were in vain.

Well, next time.

Louis had been calling and texting him ever since finding out. They had pretty much fallen back into the same routine than before the kiss. It was really nice, although it made Harry feel like a burden. Louis was subtle with his texts and questions. He never asked directly if Harry had cut again.

He hadn't.

Harry is sitting on the loveseat, his thighs pressed against his chest and his arms around his legs. His chin was leaning against his knees and his eyes were fixed on the telly. Today was not a good day. He had woken up from a nightmare, a very realistic one, and couldn't fall back to sleep after that.

He couldn't pay any attention to the show playing in front of him. It was just something to distract himself from the hunting itch on his wrists. He had his eyebrows furrowed and his fingers twitching as he waited for Ashton to arrive.

After the nightmare, Harry had rushed to the bathroom and pulled out the razor. He almost did it. The blade was already against his skin when he thought of Louis. Louis, who was the person he didn't want to disappoint. The person who had made sure that he hadn't done anything during the holidays. From that, his mind traveled to Anne. His sweet mother who didn't deserve a self-harming son.

Over one of the phone calls made over the break, Louis had mentioned this to Harry. It had been late at night and Harry had to keep quiet to not to wake up his family.

_"Have you thought about how your mom would feel?" Louis asks suddenly._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"If she knew."_

_"Knew about what?" Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows in the dark room. He was confused and the lack of sleep didn't help at all._

_"You know what," Louis says quietly. "Think of her the next time you want to do it. Think of her love for you and how you want to make her happy."_

Harry didn't remember how the conversation went on after that, but that part was loud and clear in his head.

So after he pictured the disappointed and sad looks on their faces, he set down the razor. He then left the bathroom and went to get his phone. His first instinct was to call Niall, but he remembered that the blonde was still in Ireland with his family. Zayn wasn't an option as he was with Gigi.

Harry decided to reach out from his comfort zone and texted Ashton. Ashton replied in few minutes, saying how he could be there in an hour or so.

The grocery bags had passed slowly. The cooking show had already ended and Harry was getting impatient. He would bake something to make the time go by faster, but he was still full of all the sweets he had eaten on the holidays. He didn't want to get any fatter.

Harry started to flick through the channels, never finding anything good to watch. Ten minutes after the ringing doorbell saved Harry from his agony. He quickly stood up from the seat and hurried to the door. He made sure that his hair was looking okay before he opened the door with a smile on his face.

"Hi," Harry says smiling lightly as he holds the door open for the other boy.

"Hi! Thank God this was the right door. I knocked on two doors behind yours," Ashton says laughing with his dimples showing nicely. Harry had always liked dimples on people.

Harry laughs along Ashton as he closes the door behind them. "Why?" He asks dumbly.

"Well you said apartment 1D, but somehow I read the text wrong and went to 1B instead. When this old lady opened the door, I realized that I was in the wrong place," Ashton explains shrugging, the smile never fading.

"But if you realized it then, what happened on the second door?"

"Um, the 7D looks awfully much like 1D."

"But that is like five hundred meters away!" Harry giggles lightly, afraid that the boy would get offended or mad at him for laughing.

Luckily, Ashton didn't.

"Well, now you know why Luke calls me his lost duckling," he smiles. Harry furrows his brows briefly as he didn't know who Luke was. "Luke is my boyfriend," Ashton adds as he sees the confused look on Harry's face.

"Oh, okay," Harry nods. "That's a cute nickname," he says, feeling slightly jealous over it. He wanted to have a boyfriend who would call him all kinds of cute nicknames. Okay, maybe not lost duckling, but it was thoughtful and therefore cute.

Ashton hums, "I guess it is."

"So," Harry colors. "To the living room?" He suggests, pointing to the general direction with his thumb. Ashton nods and so the two boys make their way into the living room. Harry sits on the love seat as usual and watches as Ashton takes the couch.

They stay quiet for a while. The silence could've as awkward, but to Harry, it was almost comforting in a way. He had someone to keep him company and make him unable to cut, without being all over the place. Settle distraction.

Ashton was the first to open his mouth. "So," he says smiling. He always smiled, or so it seemed. "We should get to know each other, yeah? For now, all I know that your name is Harry, you hate grocery shopping and that you attract some unwanted attention."

"I d-don't know that much about you either," Harry comments biting his lip. "You work in a store and you have a boyfriend," he lists the things he knew. "H-how did you know my name before I s-said it?" Harry asks as he remembers the odd thing.

Ashton doesn't seem to be taken back or affected by the question at all. "You wrote your name on my phone when you gave me your number," he explains humming. "I see that it must have been weird, but I promise that I'm not a stalker," he laughs lightly, let's making a joke.

Harry laughs the as he didn't want to be rude. "Okay," he nods, "um, what do you want to know about me?"

"Well, everything that a friend, yeah? We could play twenty questions or ask each other stuff and answer the question we asked," Ashton suggests.

"Okay."

"So, I'll start?" Ashton hums and Harry nods. He had to think of questions ready so he wouldn't embarrass himself. "Okay, hmm... Do you have any siblings? I have a sister and a brother," he says smiling as he wiggles on the couch to get more comfortable.

Harry nods. "Yeah, I have a big sister," he says smiling as he thought about Gemma.

"Are you two close?" Ashton asks.

"We are. She is almost like my best friend," Harry says nodding. "She's always there for me when I need her and I am there for her, though I'm not that good at giving advices."

_That good? You suck._

"I'm sure that you are good at it. You seem like a person who thinks about things a lot," Ashton says softly.

_Oh, I do. Trust me._

"Yeah," Harry hums quietly glancing to his fingers. "Um, what is your favorite color? I like blue and baby pink."

Ashton smiles a bit brighter as he notices the soft blush that covers Harry's cheeks. "There is no reason to be embarrassed, I like pink too," he says softly. "My favorite colors are lilac and pink."

"Yeah?" Harry asks smiling shyly, making the boy nod. "Everyone always makes f-fun of me when I tell them that I like pink," he says quietly. "Because it is a girly color."

_Not everyone. Louis didn't make fun of you._

"I've had some comments about it as well. I just don't know how people are so dumb? Like, it's 2017 after all," Ashton rambles while gesturing with his hands. Harry agreed.

It was sad how people could judge you based on your favorite color and your gender. There was no "girl colors" or "boy colors". All colors were equal for both sexes to like. It as was stupid partition as if you decided that pizza was for boys only or salad for girls. Why should colors be genderlized?

"It's dumb," he says quietly.

"Yeah," Ashton sighs. "But anyways, let's move on from that," he says humming lightly. "So... What's your favorite holiday? Mine is Valentine's day as I get to spend it fully with Luke."

"I like Christmas the best, I get to be with my family," Harry says smiling lightly as he plays with the hem of his shirt. "I-I don't have anyone to spend my Valentines day with."

The statement makes Ashton raise his eyebrows in a matter of seconds. "What? But I thought that the man from the store said that you were taken?" He asks confused.

"I-I lied?" Harry says, sounding like he was asking a question rather than making a statement. "Because he has been h-harassing me?"

Ashton frowns, "Have you told anyone?"

The boy nods, "Yeah. I told Louis? A-and he kept me away from Nick that night when he started it."

"Who's Louis then?"

Harry has no reason to blush. The question is understandable as he had just mentioned some name that hadn't popped up yet. He had almost done the same with Luke, so he got why Ashton would ask. Still, the question somehow got him off guard.

"H-he's my friend," he answers biting his lip and unable to keep the shy smile from forming.

"Just a friend?" Ashton asks with a knowing smile. "Why the blush then?" He pushes after Harry nods.

"I-" Harry is cut off by the doorbell ringing. He excuses himself as he stands up and walks out of the room. He had no idea who it might be since he wasn't expecting anyone to come.

He opens the door and almost falls back as the person pushes inside with three grocery bags. Harry furrows his brows and closes the door the eyes still fixed on the boy.

"Lou?" He follows the boy into the kitchen where he had disappeared. "Lou?" Harry repeats.

Louis makes a show setting down the bags before he stands up straight and flashes a bright smile. "Hello Harold," he grins.

"Hi," Harry says, still confused. "You're here?" He points out dumbly. Every time he was confused or taken off guard he was always a bit slow. Okay who he was kidding, he was always kind of slow.

"Sharp eyes, love," Louis says teasingly. There wasn't even a hint of mocking in his tone, so Harry's mind stayed quiet. "I thought that I'd drop by, you know? Haven't seen you in two weeks- that is more than twice longer than I've gone without your cookings. So," he hums gesturing to the food, "I decided to go shopping."

Harry looks at the boy in front of him and the groceries. He forgets about Ashton in the living room as he steps more into the room. "What did you buy?"

"Just some flour, sugar, eggs, chocolate, baking powder- you know, stuff you need to cook with," Louis says smiling. "I also got some pasta and chicken."

"So you want me to cook and bake?" Harry asks biting his lip.

Louis nods and smiles sheepishly. "If it's not too much trouble?" He says softly.

"Not at all," Harry smiles brightly, loving how Louis' smile brightens as well.

"Great! Where do we st-"

"Oh, hello," Ashton greets as he comes into the kitchen. Harry's eyes snap to the boy immediately. He feels bad for forgetting him, but then again it was Louis who had his attention. Louis would always have his attention no matter what.

Louis turns around as well furrowing his eyebrows. "Hi? Who are you?" He asks, his voice not so sweet and soft than it was moments before. It was the first time that Harry heard Louis' voice as icy as it was.

"I'm Ashton," Ashton introduces holding out his hand. "Nice to meet you," he smiles.

Louis stares at the hand for a moment before he shakes it. "I'm Louis," he says. "How do you know Harold?" He asks while eyeing up the boy. This goes unnoticed by Harry, but Ashton's facial expression changes to smug.

"Louis," he repeats giving Harry a look. "We met at the store," he says humming. "Harry came to my line and we just hit it off."

"Y-yeah it was after the night when-" Harry starts, but quickly shuts down. It was the day after he had kissed Louis and he had disappeared. He hadn't had a chance to tell Louis about running into Nick and lying that they were together.

"When what?" Louis questions looking back to Harry, his voice clearly softer than before. It was so obvious that of course, Harry missed it.

"N-nothing," Harry stutters. "Just- yeah," he says awkwardly, moving to play with the hem of his shirt again.

"Okay?" Louis raises his eyebrows confused. "Anyways, do you need privacy?" He asks his voice coming off as bitter.

Harry goes to shake his head in no, but Ashton is the one to open his mouth. "No, no need," he smiles friendly. "The more the marrier, yeah?"

Louis flashes the fakest smile there is and nods. "Sure mate," he says. Harry looks between the two, out of words to say. He had never been the best person with words.

"Should we make some food?" Harry asks after some awkward minutes pass, with Louis and Ashton eyeing each other. Ashton looked more amused and smug than Louis, who was more or less scowling.

The boys look at Harry, both smiling warmly. "I could eat, yeah," Ashton says clasping his hands together. "Just show me what to do and I try my best."

"I don't think that I bought enough food for three people," Louis says looking down at his nails. "I just got something to Harry and meself."

"Oh, okay," Harry says furrowing his brows and looking down. "I don't have to eat? I-I can just make something for you."

"That's stupid Hazza, of course, you're going to eat," Louis says looking back up to him. His eyes were serious and he was clearly determined to get him to eat. And while Harry appreciated the sincere want to make sure that he was okay and healthy, it didn't make it easier.

"Of course," Ashton agrees. "Harry it's your place. Of course, you'll eat. I ate lunch before I came over, I don't have to get anything."

"See? He isn't hungry," Louis says sounding pleased of the situation.

Harry instead was feeling like a bad host. "No- I'm not even hungry," he tries, but his stomach betrays him and grumbles from hunger. Harry had skipped few meals after coming back home because he was trying to get back in shape. The last thing he had eaten was probably the banana for lunch the other day.

_You've never been in shape._

"Harry, you'll eat, okay?" Louis says softly as he walks over to the taller boy, looking slightly up to meet his eyes. "I'll tell you more stories later?" He bribes, knowing how much Harry loved when grocery bags stories.

"Okay," Harry whispers agreeing.

"Great!" Ashton grins brightly. "Let's make the food then, yeah? Have some fun with it." While Harry smiles genuinely at the boy's enthusiasm, Louis stares at him with squinted eyes. He clearly didn't trust the new boy.

The whole cooking process went by better than you'd expect. Harry was in charge of the baking while Ashton and Louis worked on the dinner. Harry was by far the most comfortable in the kitchen, whisking and measuring the ingredients easily. With a smile on his face, while Louis and Ashton struggled from time to time. Especially Louis.

He almost burned the water when he was boiling it for the pasta. None of them knew how it even happened, but they quickly switched their duties and gave him a new job with the chicken. It soon turned out that he couldn't cook them without burning them, so he got put into the whisking.

Louis being the sneaky little shit he was, pretended not to know how to whisk. Harry was more than happy to teach him. He didn't notice the smug look that Louis sent to Ashton, or how the other boy looked just plain amused.

All in all, an hour later they had everything ready and they were sitting at the table eating the food. It turned out that Louis had actually bought enough food for all of them.

"This is really good," Ashton says humming as he takes a sip of his water. "The chicken is a bit burned, but other than that it is good."

Louis sends a deathful glare toward the boy as he chews on his food. He took it personally how Louis was in charge of the chicken. "The pasta is little overcooked," he comments with a shrug.

"I think that they're both good," Harry says quietly, flashing a smile to the both of them. He wanted to make sure that they knew how much he appreciated their effort.

"Thank you," the boys said in unison, before quickly glancing each other. They didn't say anything else, though, so they finished off their meal in determine peace.

-

"So," Louis starts when Harry comes back to the living room. He had walked Ashton out per his request. "Ashton, huh?"

Harry sits down onto the couch as Louis had taken over the loveseat. The fucker. Harry looks at the boy waiting for him to continue. Louis' facial expression was unreadable, though he didn't look happy.

"What about him?" Harry asks carefully.

"Nothing. I was just surprised to see him, I guess. You haven't mentioned him before and you have said that you don't make new friends easily. And the way he talked to you, I can see that you haven't known each other that long," he shrugs. "Not that I'm not happy for you for making a new friend, I am. I just don't trust him that's all."

Harry frowns and looks down at his fingers. He felt like a little kid who was being scolded for talking to strangers or for eating the last cookie. "Sorry," he says quietly.

"No, don't apologize Harry. I just want to make sure that he is being nice to you and all," Louis says softer this time. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No," Harry blushes hard. He was the last person to find a boyfriend. "H-he is- Ashton has a boyfriend," he stutters barely audible.

Louis stands up from the seat and moves to sit next to him on the couch. "I didn't hear you, love," he says softly, placing his hand on Harry's thigh. It wasn't meant to be sexual touch in any way, but it still made Harry's skin tingle.

"Ashton has a boyfriend," Harry repeats looking up from his fingers.

"Oh," Louis hums. The new information visibly lifts his mood. "Okay then." Harry waits for a moment to see if Louis was to continue, but he doesn't.

"Can you show me your wrists?" Louis asks after minutes of silence. "You know," he trails off, meeting his eyes with Harry's.

Without a word, Harry holds out his wrists to the boy. He watches as Louis slowly and gently pulls down the sleeves of his shirt and traces his fingers along the cuts. He had stopped wearing the gauzes since the cuts were healing slowly but surely.

"Do they hurt?" Louis asks quietly, his eyes diverted down to the scars. He had a small gap between his brows, from the frown.

Harry shakes his head. "No," he says equally as quiet. "They are healing."

"I can see that," Louis says letting go of the wrists. "Have you had any... Needs? Or desires, or whatever you call it," he asks with furrowed brows. He was clearly lost with the words to say.

"Yeah," Harry admits. "That's why I asked Ashton to come over... You know, to keep my mind off it." He didn't first understand the hurt look on Louis' face.

"Why didn't you ask me? Don't you trust me?" Louis asks with a quiet voice. It was one of the few times when he didn't sound gleeful in his company, and Harry didn't like it.

"N-no, I trust you!" He was quick to assure. "I just didn't w-want to disturb you. I'm already ruining your life with my problems and I didn't want to..."

"Baby, you don't ruin my life, why would you think that?" Louis asks placing his hand over Harry's thigh again. "We're friends, right? And friends help and care for each other. I care for you and I want to help."

"But I'm being a burden-"

"None of that," the older boy interrupts strictly. "You're not a burden, okay?"

Harry glances up to him and nods. No matter how sincere Louis sounded, it didn't change the way he felt. His feelings had roots too deep and too strong for the words to make a difference. Not that he would say that to Louis. It was easier this way, for everyone.

"Can you tell me the story you p-promised?" Harry asks shyly, fiddling his fingers over his lap.

"Of course," Louis smiles warmly. He moves to sit against the back of the couch. Louis then looks back to Harry and gestures him to come closer and in his arms. Harry happily complies, and soon enough the two were cuddled on the couch, Harry resting his head on Louis' chest.

_"High above the city, on a tall column, stood the statue of the Happy Prince,"_ Louis starts with a quiet voice. _"He was gilded all over with thin leaves of fine gold, for eyes he had two bright sapphires, and a large red ruby glowed on his sword-hilt. He was very much admired indeed."_

Harry nuzzles his face to the boy's chest and gets more comfortable.

_"He is as beautiful as a weathercock," remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes; "only not quite so useful," he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not. "Why can't you be like the Happy Prince?" asked a sensible mother of her little boy who was crying for the moon. "The Happy Prince never dreams of crying for anything."_

The words clicked with Harry on some level and made him think. Should he try and be the happy prince? Could he be?

_No._

_"I am glad there is someone in the world who is quite happy," muttered a disappointed man as he gazed at the wonderful statue. "He looks-"_ Louis' voice is cut off by the doorbell ringing. Harry makes a displeased sound in the back of his throat as he sits up. He wasn't expecting anyone to come over.

"I'll go get it," he mumbles while standing up. He misses the fond gaze in Louis' eyes as he turns away. He walks up to the door, struggling to get it open. When he does, his mouth falls open and his eyes go wide.

"Hi, Harry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoyed!  
> I have a question. Would you guys rather have me posting shorter chapters more often (around 2k) or keep it up and post longer ones? :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 700 reads? Holy shit that is a lot O_O   
> Thank you for all the love and support, you guys are amazing! xx  
> The lyrics in the end are by U2, not by me :)

_"Hi, Harry."_

"Gemma?" Harry says his voice hardly above a whisper. "Hi!" He squeaks before he jumps into her arms. It had been less than a week since they had seen each other, but it was nice to see her again.

Gemma laughs softly and wraps her arms around the boy. "Hi Haz," she says smiling. "I guess that you are happy to see me, huh?"

"Yeah," Harry nods enthusiastically. "What are you doing here?" He asks pulling back only the slightest so he could see her face. She had gotten her roots done after the holiday, but it was the only thing that had changed.

"I came to visit my little brother," Gemma smiles. Though she was visibly shorter than her brother, she didn't have to reach back to look up to him. Harry had a habit of not standing straight, so he appeared shorter than he really was.

Something about in the tone of her voice, made Harry think that it wasn't the whole truth. He trusted his sister not to lie to him, but he had a feeling.

"Only to visit me?" He asks carefully.

She shrugs, "That, and I've been looking around flats with Tom in the area."

Harry's eyes widen and a bright smile covers his face. "Really?" Harry asks smiling widely. Having a family member closer to him was a dream come true. "But what about college?".

"We talked about it with Tom and we decided that we would move here afterward. You know like after we graduate," Gemma explains. "He has gotten a job offer from the law firm downtown, and he has thought about accepting it."

"What about you?"

The question made Gemma smile playfully. "I'm on the top of my class little bro, I think that I can get a job sooner or later."

Harry nods, the smile never fading. He was about to ask if she wanted to have some tea when a voice interrupted him.

"Haz?" Louis calls out from the living room. "Are you okay? Who is it?"

When hearing Louis' voice, Gemma's face shows several emotions. First one is confusion. Then comes the understatement, then happiness that finally turns into smugness. "Is that a boy?" She asks with her signature smirk. "Harry Edward Styles, do you have a boy in here that you haven't told me about?"

Harry opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, resembling a fish on the land. "Harold?" Louis calls out again, while some shuffling around is heard. It means that Louis is getting up from the couch and Harry has only a few more seconds to tell her what is up.

He stays silent.

"Harry?" Comes the final and the most unsure calling before Louis steps into the room.

Gemma pulls back from the hug in a matter of seconds. She eyes Louis up from head to toes, while he stands there surprised and confused. Harry is basically the same, quiet and unsure what to do.

"Who are you?" Gemma demands with her eyes locked on Louis. She had an ability to sound very scary and authorized through looking like the girl next door.

"I'm Louis," Louis introduces himself confused. He throws a look at Harry before looking back to the girl. "Who are you?" He asks back, his eyes squinted.

"Louis?" Gemma hums glancing to Harry as she recognizes the name from when Harry mentioned it. "I'm Gemma, Harry's big sister."

"You don't look that big to me," Louis comments, clearly trying to come up with a joke. The tension in the room was barely even there, but Harry still waited for it to go away. He didn't like it.

It was quiet for few minutes after that. It seemed almost like Gemma was pondering on if she should smile or keep the boy on the edge for longer. She decides to smile.

"Harry has mentioned you before," she tells humming. "Something about you being really nice to him."

Harry blushes deeply and slaps Gemma's arm. She didn't want Louis to think that he had a crush on him and that he talked about him repeatedly. The first one was true, but he didn't need to know that.

He was suddenly grateful that he hadn't mentioned the silent treatment to her. It would have caused much drama and neither of them wouldn't hear the end of it. She would be a lot angrier as well.

"He has?" Louis asks smiling, clearly happy.

"No!" Harry shakes his head with burning cheeks while Gemma smiles brightly and nods her head as "Yes".

Louis looks like he is more than curious to know what exactly Harry has said about him, but controls himself. He might just wait until he is alone with Harry to ask. Harry wouldn't be surprised of it at all since he would most likely tell everything that Louis asked him.

"Well, that is sweet of you Hazza. I've told about you to my sister as well," Louis smiles softly.

While Harry tried to figure out if Louis was serious or not, Gemma had made her mission to question the older boy.

"So Louis how old are you? What do you want from my brother? Where do you study? What are your plans for the future?"

"I can see that you are very protective of him," Louis laughs lightly. "You remind me of myself when I meet Lottie's boyfriends the first time."

"I take that Lottie is your sister?" Gemma hums.

"She is yeah- one of the five," Louis says fondly. "I also have a little brother."

Harry and Gemma were both surprised by the information. Or well, Harry knew about Louis' siblings, but the way he openly said the name of his sister came as a surprise. He was maybe slightly jealous of how easily he shared the fact with Gemma compared to him, but he tried to let it go.

"How old are they?" She continues her questioning. Harry didn't know if he should interrupt her before Louis would get uncomfortable. The older boy didn't look uncomfortable at least yet, so he stayed quiet.

"Lottie is the oldest and, she turns 18 this year. Fizzy turns 16, the twins will be 12 already and our little one's, Ernest and Doris just turned 2."

Gemma nods along Louis' words and looks focused. "You didn't tell me how old you are," she points out humming. "I guess that you must be at least 19 or 20."

"He is 19- I forgot to say happy birthday to you!" Harry joins the conversation, his eyes widening as he realizes what he had forgotten. "I'm sorry, I don't have a gift to you," he pouts.

"It's okay Haz, I didn't assume that you would have a gift to me," Louis says soothingly. "No need to pout love."

"Oh, he calls you love?" Gemma directs her words to Harry with a smug look on her face. He knew the look all too well. "That's cute, something that Harold has forgotten to mention."

"Can we go to the living room? I-I want to eat the cookies."

"But we don't even have-" Louis starts with his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes fixed on the younger boy.

"I'll bake some!" Harry exclaims with over the top enthusiasm and claps his hands together. "Gems you can help me and Lou you can pick up a movie."

"Harry-"

"To the kitchen," Harry continues while pulling Gemma along by her arm and directing her to the room. He stops by the fridge and opens it, pulling out some eggs, milk, and butter. He kind of forgets that Gemma is even there as he scurries around the place, pulling out the ingredients.

After few minutes she joins him to the cooking and in no time they have the cookie dough ready to go. They use glasses to perfect the shapes before they put the cookies into the oven to bake. While the cookies are in the oven, they go into the living room. Louis is sitting on the floor with several movies in front of him. He doesn't seem to notice them walking in- or at least he doesn't make a move to look back to them.

"What do you have there?" Gemma asks, giggling as Louis jumps at the sound of her voice.

He turns around with a small glare on his face. Louis glances to Gemma and then looking at Harry. "You don't have Grease," he says sounding like a toddler who didn't get a cookie. "So I need to choose between Weekend, Love Actually, Karate kid and Just go with it," he purses his lips.

"Can we suggest?" Harry asks biting his lip and changing the weight to his left leg from his right. "I-I like Just go with it the most," he lies. Well, technically it wasn't a lie. He truly liked the movie, but Weekend was his favorite out of those. Why? Well, a movie about a gay one night stand (if you will) was closer to home.

And since Louis wasn't gay, he wasn't sure why he would want to watch the movie.

Or was he?

_No._  
  
"Just go with it is a classic. I don't mind watching some Jennifer Aniston," Gemma agrees while nodding. It wasn't a secret that Jennifer had been her favorite actress since Friends aired.

Louis purses his lips again, "I was kind of excited to see Weekend. You know, it sounds really interesting."

Harry stares at Louis with a surprised look on his face. Was he curious over a gay movie? What was happening? Before he can ask or comment about it, Louis has already changed his mind.

"But we'll watch Just go with it, yeah? We can watch Weekend some other time." And okay, that should be interesting to see how that goes.

-

"Haz?" Gemma says after few moments of silence. Her voice is quiet and soft, clearly planning on keeping it like that. Approachable. "Is everything okay bub?"

Louis had left to go home around half an hour ago, so they were alone with Gemma in the apartment. Harry was in the middle of cleaning up the stuff they had used when baking. He glances over his shoulder and flashes a fake smile. "Yes, why?"

"Can you put down the bowl for a second and come here?" She continues with the soft voice as she holds her arms out, signaling that she was waiting for a hug.

After placing the bowl down, Harry walks over to his sister and lets himself to relax into the warm embrace. The familiar scent of Gemma is really soothing and before he knows it, his eyes have fallen shut.

Gemma runs her fingers lightly against his back in a slow pace. "Harry?" She starts with a whisper. "You know that I love you more than anything else? You are my little brother who I will always protect and support." Harry was confused about where this was going. "And because I love you so much, it hurts me to see what you have done," she continues more quietly this time. Harry's heart is beating faster by the second and he feels like he was getting sick. There was an odd feeling in his gut and it definitely didn't feel nice.

"W-what?" He stutters.

"I saw the cuts Harry," Gemma says weakly. "On the second night when we were back home. You were playing with your sleeves and when mom asked you about school, you pulled the sleeve upwards and..."

It was over then. She has had to tell Anne, there is no way she wouldn't have. Before Harry knows it, he has tears in his eyes and his bottom lip is wobbling. "I-I'm sorry, don't h-hate me," he cries against Gemma's shoulder and clutches onto her.

"Shh, no baby, no. I don't hate you," Gemma says softly, caressing his back some more. "I'm just worried. I knew that you had some hard time with Nick or whatever his name was, but... I never- never thought you'd..." her voice trails off. It was clear that it was hard to her to be talking about this.

"I just can't help but wonder why you did it? Was it my fault- should I have seen what was wrong? Was it Louis? I can see how much you care about him. Did he say something?"

"N-no, it wasn't-wasn't you," Harry shakes his head quickly. He hated how sad Gemma sounded and how it was his fault. "L-Louis didn't do it."

"What happened then?" She asks quietly. The question makes Harry sob harder and therefore Gemma tightens her hold on him. "Shh Harry breath. Want to go to sit on the couch?"

Harry nods weakly and lets Gemma lead him into the living room and walk him up to the couch. They sit down and he waits for a moment to let her get comfortable before he curls against her and pulls his legs up. Gemma plays with his hair for some time, giving him time to calm down. And after he has stopped crying, he tells Gemma everything.

He tells what happened that night when he walked home from Niall. He explains how everything went down hill with Louis after the kiss. He tells about the nightmare that finally made him grab the blade. He doesn't leave out how he was desperately falling for Louis. He told how the medication was making him lose his appetite. Harry doesn't leave anything untold. It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders with every word he spoke.

Gemma stays quiet the whole time. She sits still and gives Harry his time with telling everything. When he is finally told everything, she opens her mouth. The first thing that comes out is a small sob.

When Harry looks up, he sees the watery eyes of his sister. His stone who never cried in front of him. Who always stayed strong for the both of them.

"I'm so sorry," Gemma says with her voice breaking in the middle. "I promised not to let you ever get hurt," she shakes her head with the first tears rolling down her eyes. "Have you," she swallows hard, "since then?"

She doesn't finish her sentence and yet, Harry knew what she meant. "No," he whispers. "Louis has made s-sure of that I h-haven't."

"I like him more by the second," Gemma attempts to joke. "I don't like what he did to you... with all the ignoring, but he has made sure that you haven't. I can't even tell how much it hurts-"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she says shaking her head. "It's not okay what you did," she stops to think of the words, "but... I know you couldn't help it."

"But you're crying b-because of me," Harry says frowning.

"Only because I wish I could've stopped it," Gemma explains as she goes back to playing with his hair. "You need to promise me something," she says with determining clear in her voice.

"I won't do it again- I promise."

"Not what I meant," Gemma shakes her head. "You can't just say it and expect it to be possible to keep that promise. It'll take the time we both know it. But you need to promise me that you will call me when you feel like you need to do it."

"I promise," Harry says quietly. It was a promise he could keep. He had to.

"Good," she whispers. "Now I think that we both need some sleep."

And who is Harry to argue? His agreement is pushed to the side by the yawn that escapes his mouth. Together he and Gemma get up from the couch and walk to his room. Harry gives her one of his shirts to sleep with and points the bathroom to her. Once she is out of the room, Harry sits onto the bed and hides his face in his hands.

He needed to get his shit together.

-

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm new to this as you may tell... Gemma gave you to me to write my feelings down to, but I don't know how to use you- sorry if I suck. Anyways, she thinks that this might help me, but I'm not sure..._

_Oh, I didn't tell you my name yet! How rude. I'm Harry Edward Styles, I turn 18 in next month and I'm depressed. Or at least everyone thinks so_

_I've always been interested in writing songs- is that odd? It has to be :/ But now I have something private to write them into? Right?_

_I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this..._

_A day without me - H. Styles_

_Starting a landslide in my ego_   
_Look from the outside_   
_To the world I left behind_

_I'm dreaming_   
_You're awake_   
_If I were sleeping_   
_What's at stake_   
_A day without me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that happy with this chapter tbh :/   
> OH the Diary thing will be more clear when the story goes on if it made someone confused!   
> I hope that this was okay and you won't hate me for the late and short update!  
> I'll try to update in two weeks, but knowing my lazy arse I probably won't lol  
> All the love. S x


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Surprise I came back in two weeks like I promised :)x

"I want to go to a party."

Niall sits up from the couch where he was laying down and coughs loudly. Luckily he didn't have any beer in his mouth anymore. He looks over at Harry with wide and confused eyes.

"What?" He asks furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't think that I heard you right Haz."

Harry crosses his arms over his stomach and shakes his head. "You heard me. I-I want to go to a party- or to a bar," he says trying to sound confident.

_Pfft, as if._

"Why?" Niall asks softly. Harry could see that the boy was confused and he couldn't blame him. An hour ago he would've been just as surprised and confused over his request. But an hour ago he hadn't been on Google. A dark place that was.

"Because I want to be normal," Harry says. "I-I want to be like everyone else."

"What makes you say that you are not normal Harry?"

"I know I'm not," Harry says quietly, looking down to his hands. "Y-you know it too," he adds. "I-I'm not social, I don't know how to talk to people and I'm awkward."

Niall gives the softest smile and gestures Harry to come to him. Harry looks at the blonde for quite some time in silence before he stands up and walks to his best friend. He sits down next to him and lets the boy cuddle him. It was comforting and familiar.

"Why now? What made you want to go to a party just now? I know that you don't like parties Haz and that's okay. It doesn't have to be your thing," Niall says softly.

Harry looks down to his linked fingers in front of him and purses his lips. "I googled things," he admits blushing. "I googled things and it said that I should get out more and experience."

"What were you googling to get that result?" Niall asks curiously.

_How to deal with depression?_

_These tips can help you feel better -- starting right now!_

_1\. Get a routine. If you are depressed, you need a routine_

_2\. Set goals. If you are depressed, sometimes it can feel like you can't accomplish anything. That's why you should set yourself goals- start small!_

_3\. Exercise-_

_"No," Harry shakes his head and closes the computer. It was few hours after Gemma had left to go home with a promise to call as soon as she was there._

It was clear that Harry wasn't going to get anything out of the steps so he changed his search.

_How to be normal_?

_While normal is a controversial thing... blah blah blah..._

_Steps how to become what we call normal!_

_1\. Go to parties- hey!_

"Nothing," Harry says quietly. "Can we go? To a party?" He asks looking up to Niall with a puppy dog eyes and a pout.

"A party is a more fitting option, as neither of us is eighteen," Niall says with this thinking face on. "So we wouldn't be able to get into the club if we tried."

"You're saying yes?" Harry asks breaking into smiling.

"I can't say no, can I?" Niall says playfully as he ruffles the boy's hair. "But you need to promise me that you will say if you want to leave. Even if I'm having the best time of my life, you need to tell me, okay?"

Harry furrows his brows lightly and gives the boy a confused glance. "But you've never offered that before," he says quietly. "Even if I've wanted to leave."

"That's because now you are suggesting it yourself and it is confusing me," he answers simply.

"Okay," Harry says nodding slightly as he fists the boy's shirt in his hand. "Can you stay with me the whole night? A-and like help me? To get- to get friends?"

Niall looks down to Harry with a soft smile on his lips and nods. "Of course H. Just don't forget all about me when there are people wanting your attention," he says teasingly.

Harry smiles with his dimples showing with a full force and nods. "I could never. You are my best friend Ni," he says honestly.

"You're mine too Haz, you are mine too."

__

**Harry:** _Ni, I don't think that I can do it_

**Niall:** _what do you mean?_

**Harry:** _I'm not ready. I can't go- you can tell your friend that we couldn't make it_

**Niall:** _it's too late to cancel H._

**Harry:** _but Niall! My head is hurting and I'm not feeling well_

**Niall:** _you asked me to take you, though... I won't break my promise! I'll be over in twenty, okay?_

**Harry:** _Why are you so mean? :(_

**Niall:** _I'm not mean, I'm just keeping my promise that's all. Now, be good and get ready! xx_

**Harry:** _Okay.. x_

Harry sets down his phone and buries his face in his hands. He wasn't lying when he said that he wasn't feeling well. He hadn't slept properly at night as he was stressing over the party. And when he did sleep it was light sleeping, which made him wake up to every movement there was in the building. Yeah, apparently his neighbours decided to pace around the whole night.

He was also stressed over what to wear. This time Niall hadn't given him any suggestions or commands, so he was on his own. And he didn't like it.

What if he was overdressed and everyone would make fun of him? Or if he wasn't dressed enough? Would people think that he was poor? Unfashionable?

_You are both, though_.

Harry sighs for what feels the thousandth time as he stands up and walks up to his closet. He had already showered and brushed his teeth, so all he had to do was to dress up. Hard. He ends up pulling out his everyday black skinny jeans and a basic white tee. He would've gone for the same shirt he had on the last time, but he didn't want to embarrass himself. It would be fitting for the occasion and good looking yes, but. What if there were people there that had seen him the last time? Harry couldn't take that risk. His cuts had finally healed to the point where you couldn't see the marks unless you knew what you were looking for.

After he is all dressed up, he walks to his mirror. Harry had been avoiding looking himself too much as he was trying to get rid of the voices. So far, it only worked when he was Louis or sleeping, so.

_You should loose some more weight._

_You won't find a boyfriend with that body._

Yeah, the _feel good about yourself_ thing? Wasn't going on too well.

Harry pouts to his reflection as he examines his outfit. It was boring- just like him. Nothing over the top and something that would make it easy to blend into the crowd or to the wall, depending on the situation.

He considered changing his clothes, but his train of thought was interrupted when he hears the doorbell. The sudden sound startles him as he was prepared for few more moments to get ready. Guess the twenty minutes passed already. Harry doesn't spare another glance to the mirror before he makes his way out of the room. He turns off the lights while he walks to the door and opens it.

Behind it is Niall who looks good, like always, in his skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, along with some fake glasses. The glasses really made the boy look even more handsome. Harry was jealous of how the blonde managed to look so good with so little effort. Or who knows, maybe he had spent hours in front of the mirror as well, stressing over his clothes. It was very unlikely though when you thought of Niall's stressless life approach.

"What are you wearing?" Is the first thing that leaves Niall's mouth.

Harry looks down at his body and blushes. "What?" He asks biting his lip nervously.

_This is why you need guidance._

"I didn't tell you what to wear because I thought that you had learned from the last outfit," Niall says dramatically as he pushes past the boy. "C'mon then, let's go change."

Eventually, the two are in the car heading to the party. Harry was sitting in the passenger seat, nervously playing with the hem of his new shirt. Niall had walked straight to his closet and pulled out one of his favourite shirts. To be honest, he had thought that Niall hated it, but apparently not. Harry was lucky enough to get to keep his jeans, as he didn't feel comfortable changing in front of others. Although he really loved his shirt, he was getting unsure. The bright yellow colour would most likely catch some attention, most likely unwanted.

The colour wasn't the reason he was nervous, though. Or at least not fully. You see, Harry had never met Niall's friend that was throwing the party. All he knew that his name was Josh and Niall had met him in a bar where he was performing. What if he thought that he was dumb? Ugly? What if Josh was a total ass? It was really unlikely as Niall was usually a very good judge of character, but he could mistake too.

"Can you stop stressing out so much?" Niall startles him from his thoughts. He looks over to the boy who had his eyes on the road.

"How did you-"

"I can literally hear your brain overworking. Don't worry Haz, everyone will love you," Niall says smiling softly.

"But what if they don't?" Harry asks not believing his best friend. "What if they don't approve of me?"

Niall chuckles lightly, glancing at the boy and nudging his shoulder. "You sound like we're dating and you are meeting my family for the first time," he says playfully. "Just relax, okay?"

Harry pouts, wanting to argue but staying quiet. He just nods as a quiet agreement and looks out of the window. "Why did you stop?" He asks confused as the scenery doesn't change. All he can see is the houses surrounding the car. When did they get there?

"Because we're here," Niall hums as he shuts down the car. "Are we good to go? Do you need a minute?"

Harry shakes his head, "No. We can go." With that, they get out of the car and walk up to the house. Harry was surprised to see that it was really a house rather than a flat. It was two storeys high and it had a nice looking front yard. The only thing that suggested that there was a party going on, was the music blasting from the open door. He gulps because of the fact. It was still rather cold outside as it was still January. The open door implied that it was hot inside, and the only logic reason for that was that there was a lot of people inside.

When they get inside, Harry's assumptions turn out to be true. There are people scattered everywhere- even more so than at Liam's. Harry subconsciously steps closer to Niall as they walk toward what he assumes is the kitchen. They pass the living room where someone has moved the furniture to the walls to make room for the makeshift dancefloor.

"Niall!" Some boy screams grinning as they enter the kitchen. The boy was standing next to another boy who was sipping on a beer. The caller was on the shorter side, seemingly shorter than Niall. The pair was standing by the dining table that had red cups stacked on it.

Harry watches as Niall walks over to the boys happily, hugging them both in hello. He feels awkward standing there alone in the doorway, so he moves to stand next to the wall. He noticed how a shadow fell over him, almost like swallowing him as a whole.

"Harry come here!" Niall calls out from the table. Harry furrows his brows as he shyly makes his way toward the group. He stops next to Niall and flashes a shy smile to the boys the blonde was talking to.

"Yeah?" He asks quietly looking at his friend.

"I need you to be my pair in beer pong," Niall says simply throwing his arm over his shoulder. He was grinning widely, his eyes bright with joy. He was really in his element in parties.

Harry raises his eyebrows and looks scared for a second. "B-but I've never played," he tries to say. "I would just make you loose."

"Aw don't worry Hazza! I'm the best player there is, I just need you to play with me."

"Why?"

"Because these pussies won't play against me unless I get a pair," Niall shrugs. "So will you do it? Please?"

Harry had two choices. He could either say no and just watch the game while leaning against the kitchen counter. He would probably seem lame in the eyes of Niall's friends, but what was new? Or he could just join Niall and maybe even have fun with it. What was the worst thing that could happen? He could miss all his throws, that's it.

_Just do it._

"Okay," Harry says nodding slightly. He didn't appreciate that his voice wasn't as confident as he wanted it to be, but oh well. "Just don't be mad if I mess up," he adds quickly.

Niall grins brightly, "Of course not! C'mon Harold let's kick their asses!"

Harry laughs awkwardly as he takes his place on the other end of the table. He watches as the three boys settle the red cups on both ends. He recognises the cups from a movie he had seen with Gemma. American pie or something.

"Niall?" Harry whispers nudging the blonde. "Is that alcohol?" He asks biting his lip as he watches the pretty blue liquid being poured down.

Niall lifts his gaze to Harry as he finishes up filling the cups. "Yeah," he says nodding. "Don't worry, you don't have to drink them."

"But I thought that you wanted me to play w-with you?" Harry says pouting.

"You can still play with me silly," Niall says smiling softly. "I just assumed that you wouldn't want to drink. Because, you know, you don't do that."

Harry bites his lip lightly as he thinks about it. It was normal for teenagers to drink at the parties, right? And his goal was to be normal. Everything about that night was based on it. With that in mind, Harry releases his lip from between his teeth and opens his mouth, "I want to drink."

Niall's eyes widen comically. "Really? Are you sure?" He asks his voice on the edge of being worried and curious.

Harry nods, "Yes."

"Okay! Well then, let's get some more cups, yeah?"

Soon enough the cups go from ten to fifteen and the pyramid shape gets bigger. Harry stares down to the cups and wonders if it was a good idea to drink after all. He figures that he couldn't do it anymore, so instead of worrying he studies the boys on the other end of the table.

The shorter one who was the one to call Niall over had a round and kind face. It seemed to hold some baby fat just like his own face did. He was muscular even though the muscles weren't standing out. Settle. His hair was brown and short and he looked good overall.

The other boy, however, was clearly taller than the other. He had a dirty blonde hair and a lip ring that made him look a little scary. He was smiling the whole time, though, so it wasn't too bad. The blonde was skinny and it seemed like he was still growing into his height. It reminded Harry of himself as well. And just like the shorter boy, this one looked good as well.

Harry's studying is interrupted when Niall claps his hands together and grins widely. "Let's do this then mates! I and Haz are going first."

"Bring it on blondie," the shorter boy smiles. "Let's see how much we can make you cry." Harry frowns first at the rude words, but he is quick to realise that Niall is laughing with the boy.

So it was a _joke._

Harry is happy that it's rather dark in the room so his blush isn't so evident.

"Me and Luke are going to destroy you," the boy continues winking. The tall one is Luke then, Harry thinks to himself.

"In your dreams Devine," Niall snorts sticking his tongue out. "Pass the ball and we'll see."

So the game starts, Niall getting the ball on one of the cups on the first go. Harry cheers along with Niall while Luke downs the drink quickly. He then passes the ball to his friend who dips it in one of the cups placed on the end of the table. Harry looks down and finds a similar cup next to Niall. He peeks at it and notices that it is water. Maybe it was for cleaning the ball? He didn't know.

He looks up just as the shorter boy throws the ball, barely missing the cup. Niall laughs loudly at that when he bends over and picks up the ping pong ball. "See Josh? You guys just suck and you're not even drunk yet!"

"Whatever Niall," the boy, Josh, says with an eye roll. "Let's see if the pretty boy is any good at this," Josh says gesturing at Harry.

Harry's eyes widen slightly as Niall pushes the ball at him. "I thought that you were going to throw it?" Harry whispers as he takes the ball.

"Why would've I asked you to be on my team if I did all the playing?" Niall asks teasingly as he nudges Harry's shoulder. "C'mon, show them what you've got."

Harry nods with a large gulp and turns his attention back to the game. There were now fourteen cups placed on the table in front of Luke and Josh and all he had to do is to target one. He tries to act all professional, calculating every movement until they boys urge him to throw the ball already. Harry takes the shot and shocks everyone as he manages to get the ball into one of the cups. He squeals happily, jumping up and down and attacking Niall with a hug. 

"I did it!" Harry grins widely, looking down to Niall. 

"You sure did," Niall says smiling just as brightly as he pats the taller boy's back. "Now, let's just knock the other drinks as well and win this thing."

Surely enough, the first time that neither of them has to drink comes about five minutes later. They had gotten three more balls in and it was clear that Luke and Josh were already starting to feel tipsy. When Harry asked about the strength of the alcohol, Niall just shrugged and told him that they had had few drinks already before the game. Harry had nodded and relaxed visibly over the information. He didn't want to be completely wasted after the night after all, no matter what. 

"You can go first," Niall says humming as he takes the ball from the drink and hands it over. "You don't have to drink it in one go like the boys did. You can take your time since it's your first one."

"Okay," Harry says. He looks down to the liquid and bites his lip. The colour reminded him of Louis' eyes, the colour so bright and beautiful. He blushes lightly at his thoughts, moving to take a sip of the drink to hide his face. Harry is surprised by the sweet taste of it. He was prepared for it tasting bitter and burning the way down his throat like they describe in books, but it was nothing like that. His green eyes brighten at the knowledge and he takes eagerly another sip. 

When Niall gets another ball in a few moments later they decide to change the rules a bit. Instead of letting the ball hit the table once before it gets in, they would have to do it straight now. It wouldn't change Harry's game at all as he was doing it straight all along, but to Niall, it was a bigger change. 

With the rules changing, Niall and Harry almost end up losing the game. Their head start is quickly gone as Niall ends up missing more than scoring. It is up to one cup when Harry gets it in and wins the game for them. It was sheer luck since he couldn't stop giggling the whole time that he was aiming. You see, losing more rounds meant downing more drinks. And downing more drinks meant getting tipsier and tipsier by the minute. And since it was Harry's first time with alcohol, he was lightweight. 

"We won, Ni!" Harry giggles brightly as he finally gets that the ball went in. "We won!"

Niall chuckles wholeheartedly as he wraps his arms around his best friend. Harry immediately curls against his side and hides his face to the crook of his neck. _Niall smells really good, I should smell him more often_ , Harry thinks to himself as he nuzzles his nose closer. He gets confused when Niall cackles harder suddenly and squeezes him closer. "Thanks, mate," Niall smiles. Oh, he had said it out loud. "I think that I might've given you a bit too much to drink Hazza."

"No- no, Ni," Harry shakes his head. "I feel fuzzy and warm! Can I have some more of the blue stuff? Why didn't you tell me that it was so good?" 

"Because I usually drink beer and you hate it," Niall says humming. "And no more for you. We want to keep you warm and fuzzy, yeah? You don't want your head to hurt tomorrow," he adds softly.

"Okay," Harry mumbles against Niall's neck, this time nodding slowly. "Can we dance? I want to dance."

"Can you wait until I come back from the bathroom? I really need to pee," Niall asks.

"Yes," Harry says determinedly. "I will wait for you and then we're going to dance."

"Of course," Niall says smiling. "Now cmon, sit down and wait for me, yeah? I'll be back soon. No more drinking and no talking to strangers." 

"I won't," Harry promises holding up his pinky, to what Niall rolls his eyes but wraps his own pinky around it no matter what. He then leaves the room and Harry alone in it. Harry hadn't even noticed that Luke and Josh had left them alone after the game. He makes a note to ask about them from Niall, but the second he sees the bottle of blue alcohol in front of him, it is all forgotten. 

Harry reaches out for the bottle and smiles in triumph as he pulls back with it. He tries to open it, but someone has closed it so tightly that it won't budge. He pouts deeply and crosses his arms. He stares at the bottle in front of him and tries to get it to open up with his eyes. It doesn't work. 

He plans on getting up and finding someone to help him open it up when he sees someone familiar. "Louiee!" Harry smiles brightly, waving at the boy with both hands. "Lou!" 

"Harry?" Louis furrows his eyebrows and walks closer. "What are you doing here?" 

"Niall brought me here because I asked him to," Harry exclaims proudly. The gap between Louis' brows deepens as he takes in the boy's words and the way he was acting. The shy, reserved Harry was gone and replaced by this loud and energetic ball of sunshine. 

"Are you drunk love?" Louis asks softly, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder. 

Harry subconsciously leans to the touch and closes his eyes for a second until remembering that he was asked a question. "Wha? Noo," Harry says shaking his head. "Ni just gave me this pretty blue drink that reminded me of your eyes! Look!" He says excitedly, holding the bottle for Louis to see. "See? So pretty!"

While Louis looks down at the younger boy, he looks like he doesn't know whether he should be amused or concerned. He remembered how Harry said on the first night that they met that he had never drunk before nor liked the crowds. So it came as a shock that he found Harry at a party he was at looking over his buddies. "Yes, it's pretty," Louis says smiling softly. "Where is Niall? You said that you came with him, right?" 

"He needed to pee," Harry says. 

"Has he been drinking too?" Louis asks while taking the alcohol bottle away from the younger boy. It was clear that he had had too much to drink already. 

Harry nods, "Yeah. We're gonna dance when he comes back."

"I don't think that it's a good idea-"

"But... I want to," Harry says pouting and giving the boy puppy dog eyes. His bottom lip was on the edge of wobbling and his eyes were already glossy and hazy from the alcohol. It was a lethal combination. "Please?"

Louis didn't know what was it about it, but he didn't want Harry drunk in the arms of another man. Not that he had feelings or anything, he just didn't want his friend to get hurt. Yeah, that was it. "Fine, just be careful?" Louis says softly, on the edge of actually begging the boy. 

"Okay," Harry smiles and that's when Niall comes back. 

"Louis, mate! Good to see you here," Niall grins as he pulls Louis into a bro hug. 

"Good to see you too," Louis says smiling back, the smile looking not so genuine, but the two other boys were tipsy enough to not to notice.  "Hazza told me that you were planning on dancing," he hums, not seeing the way Harry's smile gets thousand times brighter at the nickname. 

"Yeah the boy wants to dance, so it's kind of my duty as the best friend," Niall says playfully. "Good thing that Liam isn't too jealous and understands what is happening."

"Are you two together?" Louis asks turning his attention fully on the blonde. Harry didn't like it, so his drunken mind decided that it was a good idea to nudge Louis' hand with his head and nuzzle his face to his stomach. He really just looked like a sleepy kitten. 

"Yeah, been official for a few weeks now. It's still new," Niall admits, not noticing what Harry was doing.

"Cool, I'm happy for you," Louis says genuinely as he plays with Harry's curls lightly, while Harry purrs quietly.

"Thanks," Niall smiles brightly again. "Hazza, want to dance now?" He asks looking back down at the boy who was happily oblivious what was happening. He was just enjoying the contact he was getting.

"Mhm," Harry says nodding, though not making any move to get away from Louis. Maybe if he just stayed there, Louis would continue petting him. It was worth a shot. 

Louis looks down at the younger boy as well, sporting a fond smile on his face. He had to admit that Harry was really adorable when he was all cuddly. "Love, I think that Niall wants his dance," he says softly as he runs his fingers through the curls again. "It'd be rude to let him wait."

"Okay," Harry says quietly as he moves his head back and looks up to Louis. He doesn't even see Niall standing there as he stands up and stops in front of Louis. First, he wraps his arms around the slightly shorter boy's neck and hugs him tightly. It doesn't take long for Louis to wake up and hug back and when he does, Harry almost purrs again happily. He was apparently really affectionate drunk. When Niall ushers them to move on and actually get to the dancing, Harry whines but pulls back. He keeps his arms around Louis' neck when he just leans in and kisses the older boy on the mouth. The kiss lasts for about five seconds before Harry pulls back with a smile. "Bye Lou," he says before turning around and walking away with Niall.

While Louis stays in the kitchen with his fingers against his lips, wondering what just happened, Harry is in the living room with Niall dancing like a goof he was. And for the rest of the night, he was happy. He felt normal, his body felt light and his mind empty. He laughed with Niall and just lived in the moment. 

Harry was acting like an actual teenager first time ever and he was actually really enjoying it. He didn't worry about the kiss or what happened when he woke up the next day, he just had fun. All he could hope was that the reality wouldn't come crashing down too hard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter? Let me know x  
> Thank you for everyone reading and suffering through my shitty updating :)x You are the best!  
> Question: Would you like me to make the line spacing bigger? Or larger or more lax or whatever the term is haha x  
> All the love, S x


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opinions on Harry's single? Personally I was afraid that I wouldn't like it, but when I listened to it I loved it!  
> I know, this update took forever but it's here now!  
> Kind of full of clichés and fluff?  
> Thoughts on the chapter are appreciated :) x

Warmth. That's the first thing that Harry thinks when he wakes up from his slumber. He feels something warm and solid against his cheek and something heavy around his waist. Harry nuzzles his face against whatever is under him until he realises that it's not his pillow. He blinks his eyes open with his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth slightly open. He lifts his head from the source of the warmth and tilts his chin up.

He freaks out when he sees that there is someone in his bed, but calms down as he recognises the person as Niall. Harry glances down slowly and notices the hand draped around him. It explains the weight on his waist.

Suddenly he registers how his jeans were squeezing his legs, (and most importantly, his dick) uncomfortably. Harry slowly moves to button them down, opening the zipper while he was at it and kicks the jeans off his legs. He almost moans at the feeling of his legs - and his dick - getting freed from the tight hold. He is also pleased with himself as he did all that without waking up Niall.

Knowing that he was safe in his bed, next to his best friend, Harry leans back down and curls against Niall's chest. He smiles lightly when he feels the boy tighten his hold on him. He was always the cuddliest when he was tired, so he was pleased to be held.

Harry manages to get few more hours of sleep before he wakes up fully. He didn't want to get out of bed just yet, but his bladder was full and he really needed to pee. So, he rolls out of bed careful not to wake Niall up and walks to his bathroom. He flushes the toilet after he is done and tiptoes back to his bedroom. He makes sure that his best friend is still sleeping before he makes his way over to his closet. He stares his clothes for less than ten seconds before he pulls out his favourite pair of yoga pants and a sheer long sleeved shirt. Well, it wasn't sheer per say, it just was so thin that it might as well be. Harry changes his clothes as well as his boxers - he wasn't a dirty boy.

After he is done, he walks out of the room once again and closes the door behind him. Harry feels surprisingly chipper considering that he just drank alcohol the night before. When he thinks about it, he can remember Niall mentioning how most people didn't get a hangover on their first time. Or he could just be special, he didn't know. Either way, his head was clear and he didn't feel nauseous. The only thing that made him feel like he had been drinking was the nasty taste in his mouth. He clearly hadn't brushed his teeth when he had come home, which was pretty much self-explanatory. Also, the fact that he didn't have proper memories from the night before was alerting. He could remember some parts, but some were blurry or not there. He didn't like the lack of memories. He would have to ask Niall if he knew how to remember.

Harry walks to the kitchen and straight to the window. He smiles when he looks outside, glad to see the sun shining. It was one of the first mornings of the year where he could really enjoy the weather.

He decides to go out and get the mail. It's over ten already, so the mail should be delivered by now. He walks over to the door with a happy skip in his step. He stops to get his shoes on and when he's ready, he slides out of the door. He gets the mail quickly as it was colder outside than he thought it would be. Sun didn't mean warmth apparently.

When he gets back inside, he doesn't wait to get his shoes on before he opens the small box he had gotten. Harry was curious and confused while ripped the tape from the top. He hadn't ordered anything and it wasn't usual for him to get surprised packages from the mail. There weren't any notes either, just his name and his address.

After some struggling Harry gets the box open. On the bottom of it is a small, orange bottle of pills. Getting even more confused than before, he gets the bottle on his hands and reads the name on the bottle. Cymbalta oral. Then it hits him.

Gemma had asked her friend who was a doctor if she could write him a description for depression/anxiety pills. Why did she that? Harry didn't want to go the doctors alone and their schedules didn't match. So, she had described his symptoms the best she could and got the description.

It had been so long that Harry had forgotten all about it. Now that he saw the pills, he felt slightly sick to his stomach. It was real, he had something wrong with him. Harry opens the bottle and gets one of the pills onto his hand. He then makes his way to his bathroom, glad that Niall was a heavy sleeper.

He places the bottle to the furthest corner of his mirror cabinet on his bathroom and closes the door if it. He then makes eye contact with his reflection in the mirror and takes a deep breath.

It was now or never.

On the count to three, Harry downs the pill with a gulp of water. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. It felt like taking his vitamins or something. He stares at his reflection, waiting for something noticeable to happen, but nothing changes. He sighs lightly before he proceeds to brush his teeth.

Five minutes later he is back in the kitchen going through his ingredients. He remembers writing down a good looking recipe for pancakes that he was curious to try out. And since he was feeling happy and he had Niall over, he felt like it was the perfect time to try it out. He moves around the kitchen, pulling out bowls and ingredients until he has everything ready.

Harry feels like it was too quiet in the room, so he turns on the small radio he had gotten from Gemma for Christmas few yeas back. He turns the volume to the perfect height and then moves to start with the batter.

Something changes quickly in his head. Yes, he was feeling happy and bright before, but few songs in he was feeling really, really cheery. His lips were curled into a bright smile and it didn't leave his face.

_If you're ready for me boy you better, push the button and let me know before I..._

Harry sings along the Sugarbabes' Push The Button while shaking his hips. He's in the middle of mixing the pancake batter when his phone rings. He dances around the kitchen counter and picks up the phone, answering the call without checking who was calling.

"Hi!"

"...Harry?"

"Hi, Gemma, what's up?" Harry smiles brightly as he lowers the volume of the music.

"Are you okay?" Gemma asks sounding something between curious and confused. "You sound so... cheery."

Harry giggles lightly, "You say it like it is a bad thing Gems." He could almost see his sister shaking her head wherever she was hanging out while calling.

"No, just surprised I guess. I assumed that you'd be unable to leave the bed and all."

"Why?" Harry asks.

"Well based on Niall's snap chat stories, you two had quite the time last night," Gemma starts with her voice light. "Is there something you'd like to tell me Haz? I've never heard you even considering to go out and drink."

"Oh that's what he was doing with his phone," Harry hums in realisation. One of the few things he could remember from the night before was Niall keeping his phone on him when he was playing beer pong. "I was having fun, Gems, I truly was. I wanted to feel normal, you know, so I asked Ni to go to a party with me and that's what we did!"

"What do you mean by normal Haz? You are normal."

"I don't feel like it," Harry says frowning lightly. "Everyone else is going out and partying- having fun, and I'm over here alone in my apartment. I wanted to feel normal for one night and I did. I had fun."

"I'm glad that you had fun sweetie, I really am. It just worries me that you feel that way, you know? That you have to go out and drink to feel normal. It's normal to stay home too," Gemma speaks softly.

Harry sighs, leaning against the counter. "I know," he lies. "It was just nice to try out some new things."

Gemma clearly realised that he wasn't so that fond of talking about the matter, so she changed the subject. "I know. Now tell me what are you doing? I can hear music?" She says sounding curious.

"I'm making myself breakfast," Harry smiles brightly again, happy to change the subject. "Well me and Niall. I found a new pancake recipe and I wanted to try it out," he explains happily. "Do you want to come and have some? I made too much batter for the two of us, I can tell already."

"Mm, sounds delicious, but I can't. I'm visiting Tom's parents with him, sorry bub."

"It's okay, I might ask Niall if he wants to take some home to Liam or just offer the rest to Mrs Roth." Mrs Roth was his neighbour with the fattest cat he had ever seen. The poor thing could barely walk with all the weight pushing him down.

"I'm sure that she would love them," Gemma says smiling. "Niall will most likely eat them all, though, mark my words."

Harry giggles softly, nodding even though she couldn't see him. "He might. It shows me that they are good, so I don't mind."

"Mm," Gemma hums in agreement. They stay quiet for few moments until she opens her mouth again. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but is everything okay?"

It was an unspecific question at best, but still, Harry knew what she was talking about. Talk about sibling connections. "Yeah," he says quietly, staring down to his pigeon feet. "I got the pills today. They were in the mail."

"Oh-"

"Yes, I took one and so far it feels like it's working... I mean, I'm happy right now? And my mind has been staying quiet," he smiles shyly.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," her voice is quiet and soft. "Really Haz, that's amazing."

"I know," Harry smiles. "Did you know that that was the fourth time you call me with a pet name."

"Oh shush," Gemma laughs. Harry has always loved her laugh. It was so free and careless - he was almost jealous of the sound. "We both know that you love it."

Harry didn't even have to pretend that it wasn't true. He loved when people called him Haz or love, any pet name would do. "I do," he agrees simply.

"I gotta go bub, I think that Tom woke up," Gemma says softly. "I'll call you later, okay? I love you."

"I love you more Gems. Say hi to Tom for me, yeah?"

"I will. Bye."

"Bye," Harry whispers before the line goes dead. "I guess I'll go back to baking," he hums to himself as he places his phone on the counter. He then picks up the bowl and continues mixing the batter.

He gets lost in the baking and doesn't notice when Niall appears to the doorway. Not before the blonde opens his mouth, that is.

"Ooh, are you making me something good?" Harry jumps at the sudden sound and spins around to face the boy. He was surprised to see Niall wearing some sweats that were clearly too big on him and a t-shirt that looked vaguely familiar.

"You're wearing my clothes," Harry says dumbly. Not a hello or a good morning, just bluntly to the point.

"And you're shaking your hips to Beyoncé and avoiding my question," Niall yawns while he rubs his eye. Harry hadn't even noticed the song change before Niall pointed it out nor the hip shaking.

"It's Destiny's Child's actually," he says humming. "Not just Beyoncé. And I wasn't avoiding it, you just confused me with your clothes. Yes, I'm making you something good. Pancakes."

Niall raises his eyebrows at the boy. "Bootylicious isn't Beyoncé's song? Don't crush my dreams like that."

Harry giggles as he looks at his best friend amused. "Crush your dreams? What does that even mean?" 

"I've been shaking my booty to that song ever since it came out and now you are telling me that it's not from my queen?" It didn't even make any sense, but it was Niall, so.  

"I'm sorry," Harry says, not really meaning it. "But as an apology, you can take the rest of the pancakes home to Liam," he smiles as if he didn't plan on doing it before. Niall gives him his 'thinking face' and taps his chin with his fingers. 

"Can I have some jam as well?" He asks seriously.

"I don't have any jam, but the pancakes will have chocolate chips in them," Harry says biting his lip. 

And that was it. Niall breaks out grinning and walks fully into the room, sitting down at the counter. "Let's go Hazza, I'm hungry."

So Harry does. He moves around the kitchen like he did before Niall was awake, minus the dancing. Niall told him that he didn't mind if he danced, but he felt slightly embarrassed to do it. Not that he was afraid that the boy would make fun of him, he just wasn't the best dancer. Just ask anyone who had seen him walk. 

Even though Harry had never made the pancakes before with that recipe, they turned out delicious. They were really fluffy and sweet and you could really taste the chocolate in them. Niall even moaned at the first bite. It could've been because he was really hungry, but Harry would rather think that it was because of the taste. 

Niall noticed his bright mood while they were eating. He asked sneakily that what it was about, to which Harry just shrugged and said that it must be the sun. It wasn't a lie or anything since the sun did its part at cheering him up. He didn't want to mention the pills as he would've had to tell the whole story behind why he had then in the first place. He wasn't ready for it and he wasn't sure if he ever will be. 

After they finished their breakfast, Niall left the room to call Liam for a ride home. While Niall was in his bedroom calling, Harry stayed in the kitchen and cleaned their plates. He washed and dried the dishes quickly before putting them back to the cabinets. He then searched for a container or something to put the rest of the pancakes in. They had agreed that he would keep few to himself, as there was more than ten left. Liam was on some kind of a diet as well, so he wouldn't help Niall to eat them all. Not that Niall would need any help since the boy could eat a horse and not gain any weight. 

"Liam left, so he'll be here in fifteen," Niall says as he comes back into the kitchen. Harry glances over to him and nods.

"Okay," he says with a small smile. "If I give you the better container, will you remember to give it back to me?" Harry asks while pulling out his favourite one. It was light pink and covered with rainbows and unicorns. It was cheesy, yes, but he had gotten it from his mother when he was fifteen and came out to her. Maybe he shouldn't give it to Niall then. "Never mind, I'll find you another one."

"You seriously almost gave me the dearest thing you have?" Niall asks raising his eyebrows. He knew the worth behind the container, of course, he did. He was Harry's best friend.

Harry shrugs lightly. "I mean, yeah? But then I remembered what happened when Zayn borrowed his favourite water bottle and you lost it."

"It wasn't my fault! I told you that someone must have stolen it!"

"From your house?" Harry raises his eyebrows as he replaces the container with another one. It could be lost and it wouldn't be that bad.

"Why does no one believe me that I was at the gym?" Niall asks pouting. "All of you laughed when I said that I was at the gym."

Harry laughs lightly, standing up straight and turning around to face the boy fully. "We both know that the only sport you are willing to do is golf."

Niall glares the boy and squints his eyes. "I think that I like you more when you don't get sass from the sun," he says huffing. Harry knew that he was just joking, so he didn't take it too personally. 

"Just telling the truth," he shrugs. "You should change your clothes before you leave. Those are my favourite sweats."

"That is a lie since you would wear yoga pants any day over sweats," Niall says grinning. "And I happen to like these. They make me look adorable."

"You always look adorable Ni. You are so short."

"And just because of that comment, I will keep these until you forget about them," Niall says simply. "I mean, I appreciate the kind words, but you clearly meant them as an insult, so."

"I would never insult you," Harry says. "Or at least I would never mean it. I love you."

The blonde huffs, but walks over to the taller boy and pulls him into a tight and warm hug. "I love you too Harry," he says into the boy's neck. "I know that I've been hanging out with Liam more nowadays, but you're still my best friend. You know that right?" 

Harry nods against Niall's shoulder and hugs the boy closer. "I know. You are my best friend too," he says honestly, his voice quiet. 

"Don't you dare to forget that," Niall jokes when they pull apart. It looks like he was about to say something else, but that's when his phone rings. He takes the phone out of his pocket reads the text. "Now give me the pancakes and remember to drink well. Liam is downstairs."

"Only loving me for the food," Harry says sighing in false sadness as he moves to pick up the container. "Now, remember to give some to Liam as well, okay?" He says like to a small child.

Niall rolls his eyes but nods anyways. "You know that you saying that won't suddenly make me do it?"

"A man can dream," Harry laughs softly as he gives the pancakes away. "Now go before your boyfriend gets too nervous."

"Trying to get rid of me?" Niall raises his eyebrows as he holds the container against his chest. "I'm hurt."

Harry rolls his eyes and nudges the boy's shoulders. "Just go already," he says trying to sound strict. "I demand to see you sometime in next week, though. I want my time with you."

"And you will get it," the blonde promises. And after a short hug and a dramatic departure Harry is alone in his apartment again. He looks around the kitchen, spotting few things that needed cleaning. He soon enough finishes tidying up and moves to the living room and sits on the couch.

A wave of tiredness suddenly hits him hard and makes him yawn. He didn't have anything do for the rest of the day, so he decides to take a nap. He curls himself against the armrest of the couch and wraps a blanket around him tightly. In the matter of minutes the boy is happily asleep.

__

It didn't hit him until he was already walking down the familiar street. Harry noticed how much he had missed this. Walking at his own pace, happy and relaxed, heading toward the park. The sun was still shining despite it being over three pm already. Or maybe it was a normal thing for the sun to be up at the hour, but Harry didn't like to cling onto the little details. The shining sun wasn't doing much at the warmth though, he came soon to realise as he exited the apartment. I mean, sure, he knew about it since he got his mail in the morning, but it still surprised him on some level.

He had been smart enough to dress warmly due to his usual way of getting really cold really quickly. He was wearing a warm white wool sweater with some jeans and his favourite faux fur coat. He knew that he looked well put together, more than a normal person would be on a casual stroll down the streets but surprisingly he didn't care. He liked his unique style.

Harry didn't pay any attention to the people walking by, not wanting to see their opinions on their faces. It was easier like this.

The only stop he made along the walk was in front of the petshop. Ever since he was little, he liked to stop by the windows and look inside of the shop, admiring the animals. A coo escaped his lips when he saw one of the kittens walk toward the window. The kitten sat down in front of the glass and stared up at Harry.

[It](http://www.cutestpaw.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Snoopy-049.jpg) was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. The fur was white with some orangeish spots on it and its eyes were a mix of green and brown. Harry barely managed to hold back the pout when the employee came over and walked the kitten back to its cage.

Despite loving to see the cute animals he hated seeing them trapped. He had the same feelings about zoos. He loved the animals but he didn't like how their freedom was taken away just for the people to be entertained.

When he accepted the fact that the kitten wasn't coming back, he turned around on his heels and continued his way.

It didn't take him long to reach the park and as he did, he immediately noticed a number of people in there. Every corner of the park was scattered with people. Families having fun, couples walking with their hands swaying between them, elder people playing chess - he even saw a bride running across the field. He didn't see her face but it looked as if she had escaped her wedding.

Poor thing.

Usually, Harry would've done anything in his power to avoid these kinds of places, but not today. He was happy to notice how his gut wasn't filling up with anxiety as he strolled down the park's path.

He smiled brightly at the people who passed by and he made eye contact with. He pets few dogs that came to him, happily scratching by their ears. If the dogs had abilities to purr, these one's would've had. He managed to pet one cat as well to his surprise. It wasn't the most common thing to go out for walks with your kitten, but this elderly lady had. The kitten was an adorable thing as well. It reminded him of the kitten he had seen on the petshop he passed while getting here. At least this one was free.

Harry exchanged few words with the nice old lady before he continued his way. He didn't have any plans on where or how long he would be walking in the park but it didn't matter. Whatever felt good.

As he reached for his packet to pull out his phone along with his headphones he heard his name to be called. He stopped in his tracks and glanced to the side where he spotted the familiar blue-eyed boy. He lifted his hand to wave at Louis, but the boy beat him to it as he waved him to come over.

Harry didn't spend too much time thinking about it before he walked over to Louis, who was pushing a trolly along.

"Hi," Harry says while smiling softly as he was in the hearing distance.

"Hi Harry," Louis smiles back. There was something in his smile that made it look unusual, but before Harry could dwell on it, the boy continued. "I wasn't sure if it was you, but I'd like to think that I recognise those curls anywhere."

Harry laughs lightly, his cheeks turning light pink. "Yeah," he breaths softly. "What you have in here?" He can't help but ask, pointing at the trolly between them.

Louis looks down as if he didn't know what the other boy was talking about. "Oh! This is my little brother Ernest, or Ernie as I like to call him," he smiles brightly. "Who am I kidding, I call him buggy or a little man like ninety percent of the time."

Oh yeah, Louis had younger siblings. "Aw that is so sweet," Harry says genuinely. "Can I meet the little man?"

"Of course!" Louis smiles brightly before he turns the trolly around so Harry can step closer and have a look at the toddler. "Doris is running a fever, so I thought I'd help mum out and took him to the park. He loves the park.

"Doris is the other twin?" Harry asks quietly while looking down to the small boy. Ernest was sleeping at the moment, so Harry couldn't see his eyes. He didn't know why, but he wanted to know if they were as blue as Louis'.

"Yeah, she is the fierce one of these two," Louis chuckles fondly. He leans forwards and fixes the blanket around the toddler's body to make sure that he was warm. "It's kind of adorable how lost Ernie seems to be whenever they are separated."

Harry can't help but coo quietly. "That sounds adorable," he agrees easily. "I'm sorry that the little one is sick, I hope that she'll feel better soon," he adds genuinely. I mean, who would want sickness for a little child?

"Thanks, I'm sure that she will," Louis smiles as he glances up to Harry. "So what are you doing here?" He asks humming. "Oh god, I didn't mean it like that! I mean - I meant it as like why are you here alone? No, I mean it's all good to be alone sometimes, I know, I just-"

"Breath, okay?" Harry says while biting his lip. He found the boy's freaking out kind of cute if he was being honest. "I just thought I'd go for a walk, you know? Fresh air is always a nice thing."

Louis nods few times as if he could relate to the words as well. "I know. Fresh air helps with hangovers too, or so I've heard. You don't look like you are suffering from one though," he points out.

"How do you know that I should be hungover?" Harry furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Did you stalk Niall's snapchat as well?"

Now it was Louis' turn to look confused. "Stalk his snapchat- no? I was there, remember?"

"You were?" Harry asks raising his eyebrows and his eyes widening. "Really?"

"You don't remember?" Louis asks while Harry shakes his head while drawing his eyebrows together. He knew that he had some blanc spaces from the night, but he never would've thought that he would forget about seeing Louis. Who could forget about meeting Louis?

He watches the boy in confusion as Louis' facial expression changes. "You don't remember... anything?" He asks with his voice quiet. "At all?"

Harry shakes his head again. "No, I'm sorry I don't. Did something happen?" He asks his heart speeding up. What if he had done something stupid, like telling Louis that he liked him? He would die from embarrassment.

Louis opens his mouth few times, almost saying something but quickly closing his mouth. Eventually, he sighs barely noticeable and shakes his head. "No, nothing happened."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just met you when you were done with beer pong."

"Oh. Okay," Harry says nodding his head once more. He was relieved from the information. At least he hadn't embarrassed himself in front of the boy. "How long have you-"

"Harry!"

Both boys turn their heads around and search the source behind the sound. It takes Harry some time to locate the person behind the voice, and when he does, he wishes that he didn't. None other that Nick was walking over to them with a bright smile on his face.

"Harry, long time no see," the man says as he reaches the two, well three.

It really had been just a few weeks but Harry didn't feel like commenting on it. "Yeah, hi Nick," Harry says with not so genuine smile. "Um, this is Louis. Louis this is Nick," he says quietly. He didn't really think that Louis would remember Nick from the party while back. He was right, he didn't.

"Oh hi. I'm Louis," the boy says while holding out his hand. Nick looks down to it for few moments before deciding to ignore it altogether.

"Louis, you say?" The man raises his eyebrows. "Oh, I see. You're the 'boyfriend'."

Harry wants to kill himself before burying his body under ground. Why did he have to say, Louis? Now Nick would find out that he was lying and wouldn't leave him alone.

"That'd be me, yeah."

His head snaps to Louis faster than it has ever before. He looks at the boy with appreciation and confusion bright in his face as he steps closer.

"Yeah this is my boyfriend," Harry says awkwardly, hating himself for how much he liked the sound of calling Louis his boyfriend. His stomach fills with butterflies as he feels Louis wrap his arm around his waist and get closer.

Louis had no reason to lie for Harry and yet he did. Harry was already thinking of ways to thank him.

Maybe bake him a pie. Or cupcakes.

"I thought that your standards would've been higher, to be honest," Nick says snorting. "I mean he is like barely 5'4."

"Oi! I have you know that I'm 5'9!" Louis exclaims his accent heavy on his lips. Harry tries not to get turned on. It would be embarrassing. "And while I may not be big in height, I'm big on areas that matter." And okay pause.

Did Louis just imply that he had a big dick?

Too late for Harry to not get turned on.

Harry blushes hard as he wills himself to not imagine Louis naked. It's harder than it sounds. "He isn't that short," he defends few beats later. "I'm barely even taller than him."

"Well you aren't a giant either, to be frank," Nick says completely ignoring Louis. "Anyways I came over to ask if you'd like to have dinner with me?"

Harry blinks twice. "You have to be kidding me," he says while Louis tightens his grip and pulls him even closer.

"You should just sod off already. You're clearly an idiot- no surprise there and apparently also blind. He is taken. By me. So no, he won't go out with you."

"Your loss," Nick rolls his eyes, clearly not caring about the rejection. "I'll text you beautiful," he says with a wink before he turns on his heels and walks away while fixing his hair or something.

"What a prick," Louis says with a huff. "Seriously, what was his problem?"

Harry shrugs lightly and looks down to his feet. "I don't know. He was the one who made me escape upstairs on the night that we met... I saw him at the store a few weeks back when he asked if I was taken. I-I lied and told him that it was you? I'm sorry, I never thought that you two would meet or I'd ever have to see him again."

"It's okay Harry. I can see why you would lie to him," Louis says softly while squeezing the boy's waist. He didn't make any move to pull his arm away, not that Harry was complaining. "No harm was done."

"Thank you," Harry says smiling warmly. "Can I give you a hug? I want to thank you," he asks shyly.

Louis chuckles with a kind smile on his face. "Of course Haz. I don't mind some cuddling," he winks before pulling the boy into a hug. "I wouldn't mind some cookies though," he says playfully, making Harry giggle.

"I can do that," he promises and hides his face to Louis' neck. The boy smelled like soap, cologne and kind of like candles. It was kind of nice, he found himself relaxing completely when he smelled the boy.

The two were forced to pull back when they heard a quiet whimper coming from the trolly. They looked down to see Ernest opening his eyes and rubbing one of them with his small fist. Harry watches in awe as Louis bends over and gives the toddler his pacifier that he happily takes.

"I think that I should take him home," Louis says after a while breaking the silence.

"Okay," Harry says, a little disappointed to have the boy leave. "I understand."

Louis looks like he is struggling to decide whether or not to say something. Harry doesn't know which part wins when he opens his mouth again. "Are you free?"

It takes Harry only a few seconds to respond, "Yes." 

"Because I have an odd question and you might find me really strange afterwards but do you want to come with me?"

"To take Ernest home?"

"Yeah. I mean, you said that you were alone and I wouldn't mind some company myself, so why not? We could hangout afterwards," Louis suggests. If Harry didn't know any better, he'd say that Louis looked kind of shy.

"I'd love to," Harry says honestly with a bright smile. "Let's go then, yeah?"

"Yeah, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has over 1000 reads? Wtf people?  
> Seriously, I started this fic as a way of coping with my problems. I never thought that someone would actually read it, let alone 1000 people? I almost deleted this whole book when I noticed, oops. But thank you so much for your support! x
> 
> All the love, S x


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end, there will be a longer note about the chapter, but feel free to skip it :)  
> Anygay, I hope that you enjoy the chapter!  
> Louis and Harry get closer ;)

"Calm down love. You're making me nervous with all that fiddling," Louis laughs softly as they stop in front of the house.

Harry didn't know why he was feeling so nervous. Louis' house reminded him of his own childhood home with its white picket fence and the light pastel colour. The house was two storeys high as well as his. The familiar look should've made him feel comfortable if anything. So why was he feeling so restless? Maybe it had something to do with meeting Louis' mum. Yeah sure, they weren't dating, but the first impressions were important.

"I'm sorry," Harry says quietly blushing. "I just want to make a good impression," he admits shyly.

"And you will. Just be yourself and everyone will be charmed," Louis promises sounding confident.

"But if they don't? Will you stop being my friend if it happens?" Harry asks worriedly.

Louis shakes his head. "Of course not. Just breath and try and relax, okay? My mum is the gentlest person I know and my stepdad is great as well. My sisters may be a little wild but they mean well," he says smiling. "So don't be so nervous - I'll be there with you the whole time, okay?"

"Okay," Harry nods and offers a small smile.

They stand outside for few more minutes. Harry wonders if Louis wants to give him a moment more to calm down. If it is the situation, he is grateful for it. Eventually, they start moving and walk up to the door. Harry watches as Louis gently picks Ernest from the trolly, supporting the baby's butt and neck. It looked so natural to Louis to hold the small child, which made Harry's heart swoon. What? It wasn't like he was dreaming of having babies with the boy.

"When you're ready with giving me that thoughtful frog face, would you help me with the door, please?" Louis teases, making Harry blush hard. He hadn't even realised that he was staring.

"Y-yeah," he stutters embarrassed as he moves to open the door. Or well, he tries to only to notice that it locked.

"The key is under the doormat," Louis says hiding his smile to Ernest's hair as he watches the younger boy. If Harry didn't know better, he'd say that Louis looked fond even. It was a good thing that Harry did know better.

Harry doesn't dare to say anything in case he'd embarrass himself. So instead of speaking, he moves down to move the doormat enough to get the key. He then proceeds to open the door and put the key back under the mat and make it look like it did before.

"Thank you, love," Louis smiles softly as Harry stands up straight again.

"Your welcome," Harry says smiling back warmly. He shares a look with Louis, understanding that the older boy was expecting him to get in first. He nods barely visible and moves to step inside the house with Louis and Ernest right behind him.

"Mum? We're home!" Louis calls out as he pushes the door closed with his hip after them. Harry immediately notices how warm and homey the place is. There are shoes and toys covering the hall, but it doesn't come off as messy. More like being lived in. He loves it.

"Took you quite a while love," a woman calls back. Her voice was soft, just like Louis'. Harry assumed that it was his mother. "I was about to call and ask for you."

"Sorry about that, I ran into a friend," Louis explains as he toes off his shoes and gestures for Harry to do the same. 

"That's nice honey," she yells back. "Did Ernie enjoy himself?" 

The baby squeals at the mention of his name and smiles brightly, waving his hands. "I think that he did," Louis says with a fond smile as he looks down to the baby. "He napped for a while too, so he shouldn't be too tired right now," he adds.

"Bring him here, will you? I just put Doris to bed and I'd like to feed him before she wakes up again."

Louis glances at Harry and flashes a smile. "Let's go then," he says before walking toward what Harry assumes is the kitchen. He follows the boy, slightly scared of the reaction that would come from Louis' mother. He believed Louis when he said that his mother was wonderful - he expected nothing less seeing how wonderful her son was. But it didn't take away from the feeling in his gut that she wasn't going to like him that much. There was only one way to find out though.

When they step into the kitchen, Harry is surprised to see the room filled with three girls along with the woman. The seemingly eldest was a rocking a platinum blonde hair and some hoop earrings. She was stunning, but then again, what would you expect from someone related to Louis? The younger girls seemed to be the second pair of twins as they looked exactly alike. Both of them had deep brown hair and were really beautiful as well. The girls seemed to notice the boys enter the room because they all immediately lifted their eyes from the table.

"Oh god he's hot," the blonde mumbles, most likely meaning it to stay silent. Harry hears it though and blushes deeply. He wasn't used to such compliments.

"And too old for you young lady," Louis says throwing a small glare at the girl. "This is Harry everyone. Harry this is Lottie, Daisy and Phoebe and of course, my lovely mother Johannah."

Harry gives the group an awkward wave. "Hi, it's nice to meet you all," he says with a small smile. "You have a lovely home Mrs Tomlinson," he compliments just like his mother had raised him to do.

"It's Mrs Deakin now, but please call me Jay. Mrs Deakin makes me sound like an old fart," Louis' mother, Jay, laughs as she walks closer to the two boys.

Before Harry knows it, he is pulled into a warm and friendly embrace by Louis' mother. He stays still for only five seconds before he hugs the woman back. "Mum," Louis whines. "Don't scare him away, he just arrived."

"Sorry Harry, I'm just a hugger," Jay apologises with a bright smile still on her face as he pulls back from the hug. "So, how did you meet my boy?" She asks curiously. Harry could see the girls stop whatever they were doing and focus on his words. 

Harry glances to Louis to see if he was okay with his mother knowing where they met. He didn't think that he would, but it was better to be sure. When Louis just looked at him like he was expecting him to continue, Harry did. "We met at a party," he tells. "I was hiding in a room when Louis found me. It was quite loud in there," he explains.

"How long ago was this? I usually meet Louis' friends couple weeks in," Jay asks with an odd look on her face. As if she knew something that Harry didn't.

"Few months?" Harry answers with his eyes at Louis. Why didn't he suggest that he could meet his mother? Okay, they hadn't hung out that much, so it could be that.

"I see," Jay says humming. "Well, why don't you Lou show Harry your room? I'm sure that you boys want some privacy."

Something in the tone of her voice or the words she chose made Harry blush quite hard. He doesn't hear what Louis says to her or what his sisters comment as he is kind of stuck in his head. Next thing he knows, Louis is following him toward the stairs they had passed when they got to the kitchen.

"Sorry if me mum made you uncomfortable," Louis says quietly as they make their way up. "She means well."

"She didn't make me feel uncomfortable. She reminded me of my own mum, so it was nice," Harry says honestly. "You look a lot like her," he hums after a beat. "You have the same eyes."

"I assume that your mum is curious as well?" Louis chuckles lightly. "I hear that a lot. When I was little I used to stare at me mum for hours and wish that I would look just like her. Don't ask me why it's silly when I say that out loud."

"No, it's really sweet. I can see why you wanted to be like her. She is very beautiful," Harry says smiling brightly. "And yeah, my mum is the most curious person ever, but still the best."

"Are you trying to hit up me mum?" Louis asks stopping and turning around to look at the younger boy.

"No! I-I wouldn't do that," Harry exclaims with his eyes wide. He didn't realise that Louis was just messing up with him before the older boy started to laugh.

"Relax young one, it was a joke," he chuckles and winks. "I didn't think that you would."

"Not funny," Harry mumbles under his breath as they continue to walk upstairs. They walk down a small hallway, passing two doors before Louis stops in front of one.

"When I was young I thought that superheroes were the bestest," Louis hums, looking slightly pink as he gestures at the door. "So I convinced my mum to paint my name on the door..."

Harry looks at the door and cooes quietly at the superman logo with Louis written on it. "That's cute," he says smiling. "Do you have superman wallpapers as well?"

Louis scoffs as he opens the door. "No, I wasn't that big of a fan," he defends.

"Your mum didn't let you do it?"

Harry earns a glare at his question, before the older boy mumbles, _yes._ Louis opens the door without another word and lets Harry step in first. 

"I like your room, it's really cosy," Harry says smiling lightly as he steps into the room with Louis.

The walls were light grey, there was a twin bed pushed against one of the walls and opposite to it was a small desk. The room wasn't the biggest, but like Harry said, it was really cosy.

"I'm surprised to see that you've made your bed," he adds humming as Louis closes the door behind them.

"You expected me to be messy then Curly?" Louis asks laughing as he walks past the younger boy and sits on the bed. He looks up to Harry and pats the spot next to him with a soft smile on his face. "And by cosy, you mean small, right?"

"I believe that you said that you are a messy one," Harry informs as he walks across the room and sits next to the boy. "No, I mean cosy. Like a homey place, you know?"

"I don't remember such thing," Louis says teasingly. "And I was just messing with you Haz, no need to worry yourself."

Harry blushes faintly. He seemed to be blush and just giddier whenever he was with the older boy. Maybe it was the attention he was getting. It was nice. "Or maybe it's just because of the mess you've left behind every time I've seen you," he suggests giggling softly.

Louis gasps dramatically and places his hand on his chest. "Me? A messy one?" He asks dramatically. "Never."

"Whatever you say, Lou," Harry smiles brightly. "So... what do you want to do?"

Louis seems to think about it for a good few moments before smiling. "Have you ever played would you rather?"

"No," Harry says shaking his head. "But I know what it is!" He says looking like a proud small child.

"And do you want to play?"

Harry nods eagerly, "Yes."

"Okay, I'll go first," the older boy says as he moves to sit more comfortably on the bed. "Hmm... okay, so. Would you rather watch your parents have sex for a year or join in once, to make it stop?" Louis asks with a completely neutral look on his face.

"Ew! What kind of question is that?" Harry asks scrunching his nose. "Neither."

"Sorry, love, that's not how it works," Louis says with a smile on his face. "You have to choose."

Harry pretends to gag as he ponders his options. It was silly how much he put work into figuring it out since it wasn't going to happen. He was an overachiever if anything. "I'd rather watch them have sex. I could always close my eyes," he says finally.

"But you can't close your eyes," Louis points out. "It wouldn't be watching if you did."

"You didn't tell me that!"

"Well now I'm telling you," he says simply with a comfortable smile on his face. "C'mon Haz, it's not that bad."

"Fine," Harry says. "I'd rather join in to make it stop and be the most passive person ever and wouldn't touch anything." Even the thought made him shiver.

"So it's our turn," Louis says humming. "You can take your time with it if you want to."

"How did you even come up with that?" Harry asks curiously. He would need to come up with something really bad to pay Louis back.

"I once searched for the hardest _would you rather_ questions and that's the number one that came up," he explains with a shrug.

Harry didn't ask how or why Louis ended up searching it when a question hit him. "Oh! I know," he says smiling smugly. "Would you rather have a sex with a goat and no one would find out or not have sex but everyone would think that you had?"

It didn't take the boy even ten seconds to answer to Harry's disappointment. "Not have sex and let people believe that I did," Louis says easily. "I don't care what people think of me," he answers to the unsaid question.

"Not fair, I thought that that would be a hard one," Harry says pouting. "I guess it's your turn again."

"Don't worry love, it was your first one," Louis says winking dramatically. "Hmm... would you rather have sex with Dwayne the rock Jonhson or with Penelope Cruz?"

"Why are your questions somehow attached to sex?" Harry asks blushing lightly. He was a virgin after all. Okay, he would've blushed anyways most likely. Sue him.

"They are the most interesting ones," the older boy says shrugging. "This is easier than the last one, so it should be easier to answer."

"The Rock," Harry admits. "Would you rather have sex with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie?" He asks a few seconds later. It was his way of figuring out if Louis was straight or not.

Louis raises his eyebrows before smirking. "Look who's asking the sex questions now," he hums looking smugish. "But to answer your question, I'd choose Brad."

"Yeah?" Harry breaths trying to hold back a grin by biting his lip. He might have a chance with the boy after all.

"Yeah," Louis nods with an easy smile on his lips. "Okay let me think of another one."

Louis and Harry spend the next few hours going back and forth with their questions before switching to normal conversation. They talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Whether it's about something simple as their favourite time of the year to their birthdays, the conversation flew effortlessly between them. It was like they had known each other for years instead of months.

An instant connection.

They only stopped to get some food from the kitchen. Jay had been ready for them with two steaming cups of tea and plates full of food. She also promised to bring up some cookies after they were done. In an hour they were full and drinking their second cups of Yorkshire tea. Harry could see where the obsession came from.

It was nearing midnight when they thought to look at the clock. Louis pulled out his phone and blinked few times to see if he got the time right.

"Oh shit, it's already 11:50," Louis curses looking up to Harry. "Wow, the time went fast, eh?"

"Yeah," Harry agrees with a yawn. "I guess I should get going then," he says while rubbing his eyes unaware how much like a kitten he looked like.

"Get going? What are you talking about?" Louis asks furrowing his eyebrows. "There is no way that I'm letting you walk home alone in the middle of the night!"

"Well it's not like there are any buses going from here to my house," Harry says confused.

"And that's why you're spending the night," Louis says simply. "I might have some pyjamas for you that won't look too dumb on you."

Harry blinks few times and stares at the boy next to him. "You want me to stay the night?" He asks with a small smile. "Are you sure that it's okay with your mum?"

"Oh please, me mum already loves you. And if she had something against it, she would've knocked on the door already and asked if you should be on your way," Louis says smiling back. "So cmon, let's get you cleaned and ready for bed."

Harry nods and stands up with Louis. He watches how the boy moves toward the closet from where he pulls out two pairs of sweats and two t-shirts. "Okay so this is the largest one I have," he hums throwing Harry a shirt. "And I believe that I don't even have small sweats laying around," he chuckles throwing the boy a pair of those as well.

"Thank you," Harry says as he gathers the clothes into his arms. "Um, where do I change?" He asks sheepishly.

"You can change in the bathroom. Just knock on the door when you're ready and I'll come in and we can brush our teeth, yeah?" Louis suggests smiling warmly.

"Okay," Harry nods. "Um... where is the bathroom?" He asks biting his lip. Louis hadn't given him a grand tour around the house, so he had no idea where he was supposed to go.

"Oh yeah," Louis seemed to realise the same thing as he moved towards the younger boy. "Sorry, I forgot that I hadn't given you a proper tour."

To Harry's surprise, Louis didn't lead him out of the room, but instead toward the other side. He follows the boy slightly confused before he spots a door he hadn't noticed before.

"You have a bathroom in your room?" Harry asks dumbly, staring at the door.

"I do," Louis hums with a shrug as he opens the door. "Well, it's more like a toilet since it doesn't have a shower in it. So I still have to share the shower with the rest, but at least I can pee whenever I want," he says chuckling lightly.

"It's cool," Harry says looking around the small toilet. It was big enough to hold three people in it comfortably, but still quite small. A perfect size for one person.

"Remember to knock when you're ready," Louis reminds the boy once more before he leaves Harry alone to change.

Harry closes the door after Louis and turns to look at himself from the mirror. He is surprised to see how bright his eyes are and how he seems to be smiling all the time. It was just what Louis does to him. He makes him happy.

He looks down to the clothes, something in the pit of his stomach tingling at the thought of wearing Louis' clothes. He would be wearing Louis' clothes at Louis' house and waking up with him. The thought made him change to the clothes quickly. He felt giddy when he was done, loving the scent of Louis lingering on the t-shirt. And if anyone thought that he was weird for breathing in the scent, well. Everyone is a bit weird anyways.

After few moments of standing in front of the small mirror and admiring the way he looked in the boy's clothes, he remembers that he was supposed to knock on the door when he was done. So he moves to knock on the door and a few seconds later Louis steps in.

"Hi," Louis smiles softly as he looks Harry from head to toe. "You look good in my clothes," he says quietly, sounding honest.

A blush rises on Harry's cheeks at the compliment. "Thank you," he says quietly. "They're really soft," he says without thinking. His brain to mouth filters was non-existent at the moment.

"I have to tell me mum that she is doing a good job with washing them, then," Louis chuckles as he moves to pull out two toothbrushes. He gives Harry the one that was still in a package and Harry takes it with a thank you.

They stand next to each other in front of the sink and look at each other in the mirror as they brush their teeth. It felt really domestic, so you couldn't blame Harry for imagining himself doing this for the rest of his life with Louis. Standing in a small bathroom and getting ready to bed. Like a dream come true.

When they're ready, they rinse the brushes with water and put them back into the mirror cabinet. After they close the cabinet door again, it is like the whole world stops. Nothing else matters anymore but them.

Harry feels a small touch on his waist, so he automatically looks down to see what it was. When he sees a hand he immediately looks up to Louis who was staring at him already with the softest look. Their eyes meet and it doesn't matter who leans in and who closes the last inches because now, they are kissing.

Everything is really soft and sweet. The way Louis holds Harry's hips and runs his thumbs over the shirt. How Louis controls the pace and keeps it slow and sweet for Harry. The way their lips seem to fit perfectly and how soft Louis' hair feels under Harry's fingertips as he keeps his hands there to keep then from shaking.

They kiss for what feels for forever before Louis pulls back with one last peck on the lips. Harry blinks his eyes open slowly and this time he isn't afraid to look at Louis. This time a panic doesn't embrace his body. This time he is sure that Louis isn't going to push him away.

"Let's go to sleep love," Louis says softly, a smile on his lips as he keeps his hands on the boy's hips.

"Okay," Harry whispers quietly and lets Louis turn off the lights of the toilet and lead him to bed.

They lie down face to face next to each other, their feet tangled up under the sheets. Louis draws circles to Harry's back and Harry holds Louis' shirt in his fists. They share a soft good night and a small kiss before they close their eyes and curl up next to each other.

Everything at the moment is absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you may have noticed this chapter is quite messy...  
> The reason for that is that for the past few days, I've been highly medicated. So this chapter is mostly edited and written while I've been on strong pain meds. I apologise for the errors and I would really appreciate if you could point them out to me so I can edit properly.
> 
> I'm sorry for the messy chapter but I hope you can forgive me x
> 
> QUESTION: do you think that the kiss was too soon? What do you think that will happen next?
> 
> Have a great morning/day/night x
> 
> All the love, S x


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello loves! How are you :)
> 
> I've thought about an update schedule that I'd run through you first :) x I'll add it to the end notes.
> 
> Anywho, enjoy the chapter !

Waking up next to Louis is the best thing Harry decides. Falling asleep in the boy's arms was really nice as well, but waking up was even better. Especially when he was awake first and could see how relaxed and young Louis looked when he was asleep. The way his lashes fluttered softly against his cheekbones as he was dreaming. Or the way he subconsciously tightened his hold on Harry whenever the younger boy moved.

It might be categorised as creepy the way he was watching the sleeping boy, but he didn't care. He would blame it on every love story he had ever written if someone asked him about it. 

But just like everything good, it has to come to an end. Why? Well, Harry needs to pee really badly, that's why. He doesn't want to wake up the peacefully sleeping boy, but he has to. 

"Lou," he says softly with a small nudge to the boy's shoulder. "Lou wake up, I need to pee really bad."

When Louis doesn't even move a finger, Harry decides to change the strategy. He wiggles himself from under the boy's hand and moves to support himself on his elbows. He smiles to himself before he leans down and places some soft kisses all around Louis' face. He keeps clear from his mouth as he doesn't want to worry about the morning breath ruining everything.

The new strategy works and few moments in, Louis' lips quirk up and he blinks his eyes open. "Good morning," he says with his voice raspy from the sleep. 

"Morning," Harry smiles brightly, pulling back the slightest so he could see the boy properly. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept better than in weeks," Louis smiles, his eyes falling to the younger boy's lips. "Did you?"

Harry bites his lip and nods happily. "I slept really well," he says. "And I would love to stay here, but I really need to pee," he whispers softly.

"Hmm? And what if I don't want to let you go?" Louis asks playfully tightening his hold on the boy's waist. 

"Please?" Harry says tutting his bottom lip out and giving Louis the best puppy dog eyes he could. "I really need to pee."

"Okay fine," Louis says finally. "But be back quickly? I want to nap for few more minutes."

"I'll be back before you know it," Harry promises before he squirms his way next to the bed and then proceeds to walk to the toilet. He is quick to do his business and wash his hands, walking back into the room in less than two minutes. "Was that quick enough?" He asks smiling as he lays next to the boy again.

Louis' arms immediately wrap around his waist again and pull him close to his chest. "Could've been faster," he mumbles into Harry's hair before planting a soft kiss there. 

Harry grins to himself and closes his eyes as he nuzzles his face to Louis' chest happily. There was a small voice in the back of his head wondering how the hell it all happened so fast, but the louder voice told him to shut up and enjoy. He knew that they would have to talk about it eventually and see if they were on the same page, but it could wait. Right now he rather focused on listening Louis' steady heartbeat and the deep breathing that lulled him back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up, Louis is already awake based on the feeling of someone playing with his hair. Harry keeps his eyes closed for a while, enjoying the soft touch. 

"I know that you're awake Haz," Louis says softly just as Harry considers opening his eyes. He doesn't move and Louis doesn't stop playing with his hair.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Harry giggles softly and looks up to the older boy. "I'm still sleeping."

"Ah yes, I've read about people having conversations while in a deep sleep. Fascinating to witness it," Louis teases leaning down and kissing Harry's forehead lightly. "I know that we have to talk about this sooner or later, but I'd rather choose the later option," he whispers against the boy's skin.

"Me too," Harry answers with a whisper. "Can I ask just one question?" He asks shyly.

Louis hums softly and moves to place another kiss on the boy's hair. "Of course, love."

"Do you regret this?" Harry asks and stops to hold his breath. It was maybe the most stressful thing to wait for the answer. He could put two and two together and guess that Louis didn't as he was still here and holding him. Then again they were at his house and the last time they kissed, Louis didn't talk to him in weeks.

"I don't," Louis answers finally. "No regrets."

"Good," Harry breaths as a smile takes over his face. "Does this mean that I can get another kiss?" He asks lifting his head up and biting his lip as their eyes meet. 

Louis just flashes a smile and instead of answering he leans down and captures the boy's lips with his. The kiss was close-mouthed as neither of them fancied the idea of a morning breath. At some point Louis rolls them over so he was hovering on top of Harry, placing his hands either side of his head. "Shall we go and brush our teeth?" He asks smiling.

"Okay," Harry breaths and lets Louis help him up. The routine is similar as the night before, only this time their smiles are wider and their hips bump more than once. 

After they are done with cleaning up, they go back in Louis' room and curl up again. That's how they spend the rest of the morning, sharing soft words and lazy kisses in bed. When the clock nears three, Harry makes his way home. He didn't want to leave just yet, but he had some school work to do, so it was a must. 

He spends the rest of the day cramped up by his desk, drowning in papers and books. When he is finally done, it's over eleven at night and his stomach is screaming a bloody murder. Harry prepares himself a simple meal, eating it in peace before going to bed. He texts Louis good night with few silly emojis attached to it before he falls asleep with a smile on his lips. 

They don't see each other in a few weeks. Both of them busy with their school work and Louis with his job, so they just have no time to meet. They make it up with calls and texts through the days so it's not so bad. Of course, it's not the same than meeting up in person, but it's better than nothing. 

"Haz, who are you talking to?" Niall asks curiously as the two sit in the library. They both had SAT's coming up and had a lot to read. Niall had begged for Harry to study with him and after some major inner fight, he had agreed but only if they met at the library. Mainly because of the no food policy the had, because Harry was quite sure that he couldn't take it if Niall was eating the whole study session. 

Harry looks up from his phone. "Huh? What did you say?" He asks biting his lip. 

"I asked who are you talking to," Niall repeats with a smirk on his lips. "Is it your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Harry says with a light blush forming on his cheeks. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh really?" Niall hums acting all innocent as he moves and grabs the boy's phone. Harry looks at Niall with wide eyes and reaches out trying to take the phone back.

"Ni, give it back!" He shrieks standing up and walking around the table. Niall, unsurprisingly, stands up as well and runs off cackling.

"Never!" Niall laughs loudly, getting shushed by one of the students. His eyes are fixed on the screen and not long after a huge grin takes over his face. "So you and Louis, huh? Getting steamy?" He asks wiggling his eyebrows as he looks back to Harry. 

Harry blushes deeply as few pairs of eyes turn their attention to the two boy's running after each other. "There is nothing going on," he tries again, almost getting to Niall. "Please give me my phone back."

"If there is nothing going on, why do you want your phone back so badly?" Niall asks smirking as he eventually stops. They are alone now by the comics, as no one really used the section of the library. "Can you tell me what is going on? Something has clearly happened," he asks softly. 

"We just kissed," Harry says quietly. "I spend the night at Louis' because we didn't realise that it was getting so late, so he offered me to stay... and I did. And we kissed..." 

Niall stays uncharacteristically quiet for twenty whole seconds. He looks plain surprised and confused at first, but as the time passes by, a smile rises on his lips. "I'm so proud of you Haz!" Niall squeals suddenly and bounces at Harry, pulling him into a hug. "You have to tell me everything! How was it?" He asks pulling back curiously.

"Kissing is like tasting," Harry starts with an amused smile on his face. Niall looks at his best friend beyond confused as he continues, "Kissing is the first step - just like sipping a wine. You take a sip and decide if you want to drink the whole bottle," he continues. He was quoting a french philosopher, Georges Bataille, for two reasons.

One, he wanted to confuse Niall as a payback for stealing his phone and being nosy. And two, because he had always wanted to quote someone in the middle of a conversation. Call him crazy.

"You know that I love you Haz, but what the fuck are you going on about?" Niall asks furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'll explain if you give my back," Harry grins holding his hand out. Niall grumbles something about being blackmailed as he gives the phone back. Harry flashes a smile as a thank you and pockets the device. He would answer Louis later. "It was nice," he says simply.

"Oh don't even try!" Niall exclaims crossing his arms. "I want details! Was there tongue involved? Was he good? Was it like the one at the party?" 

"No there was no tongue," Harry says shaking his hand. "Like I said, it was nice. It was slow and sweet and- what? I didn't kiss anyone at the party," he says furrowing his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

Niall studies Harry's face for a while, trying to see if he was lying or not. "You don't remember? You kissed Louis," he says softly, almost carefully even. 

_What?_

"No, I didn't," Harry denies pursing his lips. "I would remember that- and I wouldn't even have the courage to actually kiss him! Niall, you know me. I'd literally shit myself if I even tried something like that."

"Well you kissed him- when was it again?" Niall asks raising his eyebrows. "Like a few weeks back? And you wouldn't be talking to him if you had shat your pants," he says matter-of-factly. "You're right, I know you. I know what you're like when you're drunk better than you because I have witnessed it. You kissed him Harry, and it's okay. He clearly likes you too."

"But wouldn't he had told me about it? I mean if he had kissed me, I would've," Harry says still not on the same boat as Niall. "And we don't know if he actually, actually likes me."

Niall snorts, "Bull shit. We both know that you know that Louis likes you back." 

"You don't know that!" Harry exclaims frustrated. "Neither of us can know for sure unless he says it out loud. And he hasn't," he says quietly. 

He feels arms wrap around him and before he knows it, he is inhaling the smell of Niall's shampoo. Harry wraps his arms around his best friend and hugs the blonde back. He deeply exhales and closes his eyes. He didn't even notice how his heart was beating fast until he didn't feel it thump against his chest. 

"I have millions of things I could tell you to try and make you believe me when I say that Louis likes you," Niall says quietly. "But I know that you won't believe me before Louis tells you first... so, I'll suggest that we go back to studying." 

Harry laughs lightly at the words, pulling back to look at his friend. "That was the first time I've heard you make an effort to get studying," he comments. "Thank you," he adds on the second thought.

"For what?"

"For being my best friend," Harry says softly, meaning every word. "I don't know what I would do without you." 

"Oh shut up you sap!" Niall laughs playfully ruffling the boy's hair. "I love you H, never forget that," he says with a serious look on his face.

"I love you too Ni," Harry answers sincerely. "Okay, now let's go back to study."

Niall groans at that but follows Harry as he starts his walk toward their table. They sat down ignoring all the curious and annoyed looks thrown at them and open their books again. Harry waits for Niall to be at least somewhat focused on his reading before he pulls out his phone.

He is met with three unread messages, two from Louis and one from his mother. He ponders on it few moments but eventually decides to open his mother's text first. He was a momma's boy after all.

 **Mum:** _call me when you have the chance? x_

Anne never asked him to call. She was always the at the most random times, whenever she felt like it. 

 **Harry:** _I'm at the library studying with Ni. I'll call you after seven? xx_

Harry glances up at Niall to see if he was paying any attention to him. To his surprise, Niall's eyes were glued to the book in front of him, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration. I should take a picture of this, he thinks to himself as he watches the boy. 

The thoughts are suddenly gone as he remembers that he had two texts from Louis waiting for him. He wastes no time opening their conversation and reading the messages.

 **Louis:** _guess what?!_

And a minute later.

 **Louis:** _no wait, you suck at guessing_

 **Harry:** hey _! I do not :(_

Harry pouts as he writes the message and hits sent. He was so not bad at guessing. Like, yeah, he sometimes guessed wrong, but didn't everyone? He knew that Louis was talking about the night he stayed over and they were playing alias. Louis has tried to get Harry to guess the word candle and well... it didn't go so well.

_"Okay, this one's easy," Louis says grinning as he looks up from his card. "This is something that comes in multiple colours-"_

_"Rainbow!" Harry smiles brightly, happy to guess the word so quickly. "It's a rainbow right?" He hums pleased._

_Louis shakes his head, "No, these things smell good."_

_"And how do you know that rainbows don't smell good?" Harry raises his eyebrows_ challengingly _. "Have you smelled one?"_

_"Of course I haven't," Louis says. "You can't smell a rainbow. Rainbows are just an illusion made by light and water."_

_Harry gasps and places his hand on his chest. "How dare you to say that rainbows aren't real?" He asks giving the best glare that he mustered. In reality, he just looked like an angry kitten. So, adorable._

_"I didn't say-"_

_"You did! You said an illusion and it means the same as fake, therefor not real," Harry points out._

_"You light them up," Louis says trying to change the conversation back to the game, but Harry was a bit slow._

_"What? You can't light up a rainbow," he says confused._

_"I wasn't talking about the rainbows Harry. I was trying to get you to guess the word," Louis explains waving the card in his hand. "Can we continue?"_

_"So it's not a rainbow?" Harry asks just to make sure. "Okay, go on," he hums as Louis shakes his head as a no._

_"Like I said, they come in multiple colours and they smell good. You light them up and they create warmth and you know, the scent surrounds the room."_

_Harry furrows his eyebrows and pouts slightly. "I have no idea what that is," he admits._

_"Are you kidding me?" Louis asks with humour behind his eyes. "How can you not guess it? Okay, I'll give you a hint," he mumbles, looking around his room before snapping his fingers. "Okay, I have one on my nightstand."_

_Harry's eyes immediately divert to the table. "Oh, a lamp?" He guesses biting his lip. "But it doesn't smell good-"_

_"Oh my god, no! The candle," Louis exclaims throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "I give up, you suck at guessing."_

_"I do not," Harry says pouting. "Can I try another?"_

The texts seemed quite familiar now that Harry thought about it. While he waited for Louis to send his response, he focuses on his studies. He manages to read ten whole paragraphs before he feels his phone vibrate.

 **Louis:** _you do Haz, but it's okay. Just don't make a career out of it :)_

 **Harry:** _I'm going to be a psychologist who works on murders and such :)) but tell me what happened? x_

"Niall," Harry speaks looking at the boy, "am I bad at guessing?" He waits for Niall to look at him before continuing. "I mean, if something had happened to you would you let me guess or just tell me?" 

Niall sets down a pen he was chewing and raises his eyebrows. "Why do you want to know?" He asks curiously. "It has something to do with the loverboy, right?" 

"What if it does? Can you be honest with me, please?" Harry asks pouting. "Do I suck at guessing?"

"I mean... you don't suck, but I'd rather tell you than let you guess," Niall says honestly. "I'm sorry, but that's the truth. To be fair, I do that to almost everyone so it's not just you."

"Shit," Harry curses pouting. "If Louis asks about this, you'll say that I'm a fantastic guesser, deal?"

"And why would he ask me?" Niall chuckles amused making Harry whine.

"Humour me? Please?"

"Okay fine," the blonde agrees. "You're a great guesser. There I said it."

"Thanks, Ni, you're the best," Harry grins and blows the boy a kiss. He really did have the best friend he could ask for.

 **Louis:** _wow, remind me to make sure that you don't turn into one :D oh and I got promoted !!!_

 **Harry:** _really? That's amazing! I'm proud of you xx_

 **Louis:** _thank you x proud enough to offer me some cookies and maybe company tonight?_

Harry blushes and smiles widely as he reads the text. Yeah, maybe Louis liked him back.

 **Harry:** _yes, anything for my Lou xx_

 **Harry:** _what time are you coming over? Also chocolate chip and banana or raspberry with coconut? x_

 **Louis:** _you're spoiling me :) maybe around seven? Are you home then? And they both sound delicious... both? :) x_

 **Harry: w** _e might have to have Niall to join us if I cook that much, but I don't mind :) anything for you xx_

 **Louis:** _thank you again little one x I'll come around by seven!_

 **Harry:** _see you_ _then ! xx ps. Niall says that I'm a great guesser :))_

 **Louis:** _don't believe you xx_

 **Harry:** _ask him :)_

 **Louis:** _maybe I will, but you have to focus on studying love! Put your phone away x_

Harry itches to answer to the text, but he wants to prove Louis wrong in a way by putting his phone away. He can be without his phone, easily. Not that Louis ever said that he couldn't but Harry felt like that's what he was thinking, so. He then opens his book again and starts reading. 

The boys study for few more hours, sharing notes and questioning each other. When clock nears five they call it quits and agrees on meeting again the day after. They only had the rest of the week left to study, so they didn't have time to rest. 

Harry and Niall bid their goodbyes and head in different directions once outside. Harry tightens his jacket as he walks, making a list in his head what to buy from the store. He wanted everything to be perfect and ready for when Louis arrives.

__

 

"Oh shit," Harry mumbles as he hurries to his oven and pulls out the cookies. The batch was pretty much ruined as at least ninety percent of them had dark spots on them. He was lucky he had one batch ready and good to go.

He lets the ruined cookies to cool off before he throws them to the trashcan. He then proceeds to tidy up the kitchen and as he finishes he hears his doorbell to ring.

Harry makes his way to the door quickly, blasting a big smile onto his lips as he opens it and sees Louis. "Hi," he says brightly.

Louis was looking extra soft in his big Adidas jumper and a pair of joggers. His feet were covered in his signature black vans' and he was sporting a big smile on his face. It made Harry's stomach fill with butterflies.

"Hi love," Louis smiles as he steps into the house. "It smells really good in here," he compliments winking. "Does this mean that my cookies are waiting?"

"Is that the only reason you're here? Because of my cookies?" Harry asks teasingly, even though a part of him was insecure. What if he only was after the cookies.

Louis shakes his head and gives Harry a soft smile. "Of course not. I missed you," he says softly, planting a light kiss on the boy's cheek.

Harry blushes under the gentle touch and bites his plump lip. "Good. I have your cookies ready though- one batch burned but the others are perfect. Or at least I hope so, I didn't have time to taste them-"

"I'm sure that they are delicious. Thank you for baking them," Louis interrupts the boy's rambling softly. "You look so adorable with the apron on. My little baker," he adds fondly.

"You know I used to be a baker?"

"Really?" Louis chuckles lightly.

"Yes," Harry says proudly. "When I was still living in Holmes Chapel I worked weekend and night shifts in a baker." 

"Well it explains why you're so good in it," Louis says winking. "Can we go and get some then? I'm rather hungry if I'm honest." 

"Of course," Harry says quickly with a nod before he turns on his heels and leads the older boy to the kitchen. He focuses on getting the cookies onto a plate. He then moves to get two glasses and the carton of milk. Who could have cookies without cold milk? 

"Do you want anything else? Like tea or a sandwich?" Harry asks turning around to face Louis.

"No need," Louis smiles. "This is more than enough. Maybe I'll have some tea later, yeah?"

"Okay," Harry says humming. "Do you want to sit here or go to the living room?" He asks shifting his weight from side to side. 

"I think that living room sounds nice, yeah?" Louis suggests. Harry agrees easily and together they make their way to the other room.

They sit down together on the couch and set their food down to the coffee table after moving it slightly closer. The first few minutes they eat in silence, sharing some shy glances. When Harry reaches for another cookie, Louis opens his mouth.

"I should probably tell you why I wanted to see you," he says clearing his throat. 

Harry looks at Louis and forgets about the cookie. He sits back against the couch and moves his legs against his chest. "Okay... it's not about your promotion to the manager then?"

"Well, I mean partly because of that," Louis says humming. "But I wanted to talk about us. Like as in how we got here and what it means to me..."

This was it.

"Okay," Harry says nodding. "Let's talk then." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have the serious talk ;) 
> 
> Is it just me or am I losing my touch on writing? :/ I need a beta for this story...
> 
> So the update schedule. I have school every day, practise 5 times a week (when I get better lol) and two stories to update. So I thought that a realistic and stressless option for me would be once in every 2 weeks, on Fridays 7 PM UK time. I would possibly update randomly along those weeks if I have the chapter ready, but I could promise you an update every other Friday. Let me know what you think, yeah? I'm open for suggestions :) x
> 
> But basically, the next update would be 12th of April at 7 PM UK time :)
> 
> QUESTION: Where are you guys from? I'm curious x I'm from Finland :)
> 
> Have a wonderful day! x
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time can someone remind me to never, ever write the chapter to your notes because if you accidentally press the wrong button it fucking dissapears? Fuck you notes...
> 
> Anyway here is the chapter sorry for the rant! x

_"Okay," Harry says nodding. "Let's talk then."_

"Okay," Louis clears his throat and sits back looking at the younger boy. "So I guess we should start from the beginning?"

Harry nods once again and pulls a pillow to his chest. He didn't know if he was more nervous for the words that would come out of Louis' mouth or what he would confess.

"I never explained to you why I ran when we... you know- when you kissed me the first time," Louis starts turning his eyes to his hands placed on his lap. "I got scared," he says after a moment, making Harry's eyes widen. "God this is so embarrassing, but yeah, I got scared."

"Of what?" Harry asks quietly, unable to keep the curiosity away from his voice.

Louis glances up to him and clears his throat. "I had never kissed a boy before," he admits sounding surprisingly confident. "I had always thought about it, but never had to courage to actually do it... and then you came along..."

"But it was a kiss on the cheek?" Harry says confusion clear in his voice.

"It was the closest thing to a kiss with a boy that I had gotten. And I wanted to kiss you so badly in the moment... and it scared me..."

"So I was kind of your first kiss?" Harry asks surprised. His first kiss was with a boy, Niall to be exact, as he had never felt the attraction toward girls. Like he appreciated their looks and how nice they were, but it was never anything like the cute boys. He kind of wanted to ask why didn't Louis kiss him if he wanted to, but it was a question of another day. "Why didn't you-"

"Tell you?" Louis chuckles lightly, finishing Harry's sentence. "Well, you see... I was kind of ashamed for it? Not like hide in the bushes kind of ashamed but like- you know?"

When Harry shakes his head, Louis sighs softly. Harry really did try and understand what the boy was talking about, but he just couldn't get in the mindset.

"I'm 19, right? And I've always kind of known that I'm gay or at least bi. So why haven't I had the courage to kiss anyone? I wanted to kiss you for the first time I saw you. You were so adorable and all shy..."

"Is that a part of why you moved?" Harry asks softly, trying not to blush or smile too hard for the confession.

"That I thought that I was gay?" Louis asks. "No. My stepdad got a job here so we had to move," he says shrugging.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asks carefully, looking over at the older boy. He could sense that Louis was slightly more relaxed than he was moments ago. Maybe it was the confession or from something else. It really didn't make that much of a difference.

"Of course."

Harry bites his lip and wills himself not to look away as he asks, "I get that you got scared and all... but why did you ignore me?"

"This doesn't make a lot of sense now, but try to remember that it did when it happened, okay?" Louis says softly. "When we almost kissed, I panicked. All I could think about was that you would regret it happening and never speak to me again."

"But I-I was the one who made the first move? I kissed you," Harry comments furrowing his brows.

"I know, like I said it doesn't make a lot of sense," the older boy hums. "So I didn't sleep all that well through the night and when it was seven or so, I gave up. I got up and left your house after giving you the note... I guess I thought that if I pretended that you didn't exist it wouldn't feel as bad if you didn't want to see me anymore."

"And you didn't think about giving me a chance to explain myself? Or let me know that you were alive and well?" Harry asks pouting softly.

"I was too busy worrying about it so I kind of forgot about your feelings. That sounds so horrible, I'm sorry."

Yeah, it sounded really bad.

Harry's pout deepens as he looks down to the pillow. He was hurt. He knew that Louis meant it when he said that he was sorry, but it didn't make the feeling go away. "Why did you say yes to Niall then? When he asked you to spend the night with us?"

Louis laughs lightly and scratches his neck. "Um let's just say that Niall is very persuasive when he wants to be," he says. "Can you look at me Haz? I'm sorry."

"I know that you are," Harry says quietly, looking at the boy under his lashes. "But-"

"It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, right?" Louis finishes off. "I know, I'm still sorry."

"It's okay," Harry says softly, placing his chin against the pillow, his eyes fixed on Louis. "It kind of explains everything... no, wait. What changed?" He asks raising his eyebrows. "If you still thought that I didn't want to see you, you still came. Like yeah because of Niall, but still. What made you hang out with me? Liam, Zayn and Niall was here as well- you didn't have to be with me."

"I- um... I missed you? And I thought that I could pretend that nothing had happened, yeah?" Louis says humming. "And when we were watching the movie you looked so scared so I had to hold you... and after you showed me the scarring, I couldn't help but think that it was because of me- which reminds me that you have yet to tell me why you did it."

"Can I tell you after we have talked this one through? I need a moment," Harry requests softly. He really didn't want to think back to the horrible night that caused him nightmares but he had to tell Louis. He had promised to do so.

Louis nods and flashes a soft smile, "Of course."

"Can I ask you one more question?" Harry asks shyly, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. The older boy nods and gestures him to continue, so that's what he does. "Niall said that we kissed at the party? The one a few weeks ago? Did we?"

"Yeah, we did," Louis says softly after few seconds of thinking. "I guess that you don't remember it happening?"

Harry shakes his head, "No. I'd think that I would because I wanted to do it for so long." He says. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It was my first proper kiss with a boy- like on the lips and everything, and you were drunk. I didn't know if you remembered or regretted it, so," Louis shrugs. "And besides, I kind of asked you when we ran into each other in the park, remember?"

The younger boy thinks about it for a second, before recalling it. "Oh yeah," he hums and nods, "I was confused when you asked me."

"It confirmed my thoughts that you didn't remember it," Louis says, "so I didn't bring it up."

Harry nods once more and bites his lip. He now more or less knew why Louis had avoided him but he had no idea where they stood. Were they still friends who kissed? Or maybe more than that? Dating?

"Where does it leave us?" He asks quietly, his words muffled by the pillow. He was scared of the answer but he had to know.

The older boy bites his own lip and shifts in his seat. He gets closer to Harry and takes his hands in his own gently. "I really like you, Harry," Louis starts softly, his eyes locked with the younger boy's. "I really do... I just have never been in a relationship before and I don't know how to do it," he admits.

"So... y-you want to be my friend?" Harry asks, trying to hide his disappointment. He wanted to have something more with the boy- craving for it even.

"No," Louis says furrowing his eyebrows lightly. "I want to be able to kiss you and hold you. I just don't know if I'm the best boyfriend you could have, but I'm willing to try? I like you too much to let you go, so."

"You want to be my b-boyfriend?" Harry asks biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from squealing. He kind of wanted to pinch himself as well- just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming after all. "Like try it?"

Louis nods and links their fingers. "Yeah. I want to date you and see how it'd work out between us," he smiles.

The younger boy nods enthusiastically and flashes a dimpled smile. "I want that- I definitely want that," he says grinning. "Does this mean that I can kiss you?"

Louis chuckles at the boy's enthusiasm and answers by capturing his lips between his own. He lets go of Harry's hands and moves to cup the boy's face gently, pulling them closer together. Harry smiles into the kiss and places hands over Louis'.

They share soft and gentle kisses, whispering stupid things in between. It's perfect.

"There's one more thing we need to talk about love," Louis hums against Harry's lips. Harry almost doesn't hear him as the older boy runs his thumbs against his cheeks. He hums softly, not bothering to pull back. He was already addicted to Louis' lips. "The cuts," Louis continues softly as he pulls back.

Harry opens his eyes slowly with few blinks and looks at Louis' eyes. He takes a deep breath and nods. "Okay," he whispers. "I-I was walking home from Niall," he starts like he did last time. 

He repeats what he had already told the boy. How the men cornered him against the wall and what they spoke. Harry's eyes stay fixed on the pillow for the whole time that he speaks. He can't bring himself to look at Louis while telling. He didn't want to witness the sadness behind his eyes nor the worry on his face. It was hard to tell it the second time and Harry was sure that it was hard to listen to as well. 

"T-they um... they pu-pushed my pants down and f-forced themselves onto m-me," Harry says quietly, his voice and hands shaking. Louis notices this, of course, and moves to hold his hands. He intertwines their fingers and gives a gentle squeeze as to remind that he was here. That Harry was safe. "When I-I tried to fight them, t-they hit me," he continues gulping. The memories were vivid. "I-I cried for help, but n-no one came-"

"Shh... I'm here, you're safe now," Louis whispers soothingly as he pulls the boy against his chest. He runs his fingers along his back gently, giving the younger boy comfort. Harry breathes raggedly between the quiet sobs. His whole body was waking up to the memory and he could feel his body shut down like it had done at that night. 

"Did they... r-rape you?" Louis asks quietly, his voice strained and miserable. 

Harry shakes his head. "N-no. O-one of them almost did... he - he forced my face against t-the wall while the o-others kept me s-still," he says his pulse picking up. 

"How did they stop?" 

Harry could hear the underlying question _why did they stop_ in Louis' voice but he didn't blame him. He would've wondered the same thing if he hadn't been there when it happened. "Some guy with his dog c-came and stopped them," Harry tells, "he t-threatened to call the police... I think that's why they left."

"Threatened? He should've called the cops! What the hell was his problem?" Louis asks sounding angry. Harry lifts his head from where it was tucked under Louis' chin and looks at the boy.

"It's o-okay, I'm fin-"

"No Harry, you're not fine. You'll carry the trauma from that for the rest of your life, that's not okay. The men should've gone to jail," Louis says sternly as he pulls the boy closer to him. Harry had a feeling that Louis was feeling protective but he didn't mind. It was actually nice to feel strong arms around him. It helped to calm him down. 

They stay quiet for a while, just curled around each other. Louis' hands never stop tracing the length of Harry's back. In return, Harry's hands keep on playing with the hem of Louis' shirt. They both got comfort from it, so it was more than perfect. At some point, Harry's eyes divert to the cookie plate on the coffee table and his stomach grumbles. He blushes slightly as he hears the older boy chuckle and feels how he stops his hands to squeeze his hip softly. 

"Do you want one?" Louis asks, smile clear on his voice. His breath tickles Harry's temple as he speaks, which causes Harry to giggle lightly. 

"Yeah," Harry says with a nod. "Can we get tea as well? I want something warm in my system," he hums glancing up to Louis. 

Louis flashes a soft smile to him and leans down to bump their noses together. "You're too cute like this," he whispers smiling. "How about I go make the tea and you choose us a movie to watch?" 

Harry smiles up to Louis and nods in an agreement to the suggestion. "Okay."

A few seconds later Louis gets up and walks into the kitchen. Harry can hear the cabinets opening and closing and the tap running. He smiles to himself as he pictures Louis moving around _his_ kitchen, preparing them some tea. The same Louis who admitted that he liked Harry. The same person who said that he wanted to give dating a go. If that didn't make Harry's stomach fill with butterflies, he didn't know what would. 

Harry enjoys his comfortable position on the couch for a while longer, before he gets up as well. He reaches out for the remote and turns on the television. He was too lazy to walk up to the tv stand and search through his movies, so he settles to opening Netflix. 

While he waits for the app to open, he takes a cookie from the plate and brings it to his mouth. It was one of the first cookies he had baked, so it wasn't that warm anymore. It didn't matter though, as it still tasted delicious if he does say so himself. When Netflix finally wakes up, Harry goes through the movies. He didn't want to watch anything scary, so the horror films were a no. 

"Found anything you like?" Louis asks as he comes back into the room. He is carrying two steaming cups to which he places down next to the cookies onto the table. 

Harry glances to Louis and shakes his head, "Haven't gotten a good look yet."

"Mhm," Louis hums and sits down. "Let's see the options then, yeah?"

After some searching, they finally settle on _The Fault in our Stars_. Harry was surprised when Louis insisted that they had to watch it. When he asked about it, Louis just winked and playfully said, "Yeah is our always." It took Harry couple seconds to realise what Louis was talking about, but when he did, he grinned brightly.

"You're such a sap," he says with a fond smile playing on his lips. He moves to sit back next to Louis and wiggles his way under the boy's arm. Louis doesn't mind this, however, he just lifts his arm so it's easier to Harry to get closer. He then wraps his arm around the younger boy and pulls him flush against his side.

"And you love it," Louis says softly, companied by a light kiss to the temple.

Harry keens under the affection. "I do," he says smiling. "Can you give me the mug and press play?" He asks looking to Louis and giving him a dimpled smile. He knew that Louis wouldn't be able to resist the smile. 

And Harry was right because Louis places another kiss on his temple and mumbles, "Anything to my princess," then moving to get the mugs and the remote. Harry blows his tea, cooling it so he could take a sip without his tongue burning as he watches Louis set up the movie. 

When the starting scene of the movie shows up on the tv, Harry curls closer to Louis and rests his head against the older boy's chest. Louis continues to run his fingers along his back, his attention on the screen, however. That's how they stay for the whole movie. Curled up on the couch under soft blankets and steaming cups of tea in hand. Well, the tea was gone before the film was halfway over, but it was just minor details. 

"Harry?" Louis hums softly when the credits roll on the screen. His fingers had found their way to his hair but Harry wasn't complaining. The younger boy makes a sound on the back of his throat signalling to Louis to continue. "Can I braid your hair?" 

Harry lifts his head from Louis' chest and blinks up at him few times. He studies Louis' facial features for a moment, trying to detect if he was being serious or not. When he saw no trace of playfulness in his eyes, he nodded. "Okay," he says moving to sit up. "I'll go get my brush?" 

Louis smiles and nods and it's all that Harry needs before he moves to stand up. He then walks out of the living room and toward his bedroom. He searches through his drawers for few moments until he pulls out his baby pink hairbrush. Harry bites his lip and stares down at it. Would Louis make fun of it? It was kind of girly now that he thought about it. 

No, Harry thinks and shakes his head. He wouldn't let the gender norms get to him now. He knew that Louis wouldn't make fun of him for the colour of his brush, it was just a thought of weakness. After the small battle against his mind, he grabs few hair ties as well and makes his way back to the living room. When he enters, he notices that Louis has cleaned their mugs and moved the coffee table so there was a space where Harry could sit. 

He smiles at Louis, who looks up as he hears the steps come back. "Got everything you need love?" Louis asks softly as he drops a pillow on the floor. Harry assumes that it was for him to sit on, and the thought made his stomach swoon. He really did have the best almost there boyfriend.

"Mhm, yep," Harry hums nodding as he walks up to the couch. "I didn't know how many braids you wanted to do, so I took few extra hair ties just to be sure."

"I think that we'll manage with three," Louis smiles and gestures for the boy to sit down on the pillow. "Has anyone braided your hair before?" He asks as he places himself behind Harry.

"Gems did try few times when we were younger. I just didn't have that long hair when she did, so it never worked out," Harry tells, getting comfortable on the pillow. "Is it okay if I lean against the couch?" He asks tilting his head back and looking up. 

"Of course, I want you to be as comfortable as possible," Louis nods as he sits down on the couch, spreading his legs that Harry fitted between them. 

Harry moves backwards until his back is against the couch. He then looks up to Louis again and hands the brush and the hair ties over to him. "I don't have a sensitive scalp, so you don't have to be too careful."

"Noted," Louis says humming as he starts to brush his hair. "I'll still be gentle."

True to his words, Louis' hands were gentle and light as they worked on Harry's hair. Harry didn't know what to expect from the result, as Louis combined his hair into three sections. He braids the one's on the side and leaves the middle section untouched. When the two braids were done, Louis continued to brush through the middle section. Before Harry even realised, he had a bun on top of his head. 

When Louis moves his hands to his shoulders and gives a small pat, Harry looks up to him. "Are you done?" He asks biting back a smile. Louis looked proud as he studied his work. 

"Yep, want to see it?" Louis asks pulling out his phone. Harry eagerly nods and hurries himself to stand up, only to sit down next to Louis onto the couch. 

He turns his front away from Louis per the boy's request and tries hard not to blush as the sound of multiple pictures fill the room. "I thought that you'd only need one photo," he mumbles quietly. 

Louis chuckles softly as he finally lowers his phone. "I wanted to have some variety on them," he explains smiling. "Now cmon here and let me show you the pic."

Harry was genuinely surprised to see the picture. The hairdo was really pretty and the photo itself wasn't bad at all. "How did you learn to braid hair?" Harry asks in awe as he stares at the picture. 

He could see in the corner of his vision how Louis shrugs. "I have five little sisters, four whose hair I've been braiding," he says softly. "Do you like it?" He asks biting his lip. 

When Harry looks at him, he could almost swear that Louis was looking shy even while asking. "I love it," he says honestly while placing his hand on the boy's thigh. "Thank you."

"Your welcome," Louis says smiling brightly. "You look really pretty like this. Not that you don't look pretty all the time, but the braids just suit you really well."

Harry blushes barely noticeably at the words. "Thank you," he repeats genuinely, "you could braid my hair more often then?" He suggests. 

"I would love to," Louis hums before leaning closer to the boy. Harry's eyes flicker down to Louis' lips from his eyes and he subconsciously wets his lips. He feels Louis' soft breath against his lips as the boy leans even closer. Their noses gently touch and that's when Harry's eyes lull shut. He feels more than he hears the long exhale before he feels a pair of lips on his. 

Harry makes a pleased sound on the back of his throat as Louis moves his hands to cup his cheeks. He all but melts into the kiss, his hands finding their way to against Louis' chest and leaning in closer. Louis tilts his head little to the side and deepens the kiss as his other hand finds its way to Harry's hair. The younger boy keens and kisses back eagerly, shyly parting his lips as he feels Louis' tongue trace his bottom lip. His stomach fills with butterflies as their tongues meet halfway and Louis pulls him even closer. 

The kiss is different from their earlier ones. This one was more sensual and all-consuming, taking their breath away. Louis is one hundred percent in control of the kiss, dominating the younger boy's mouth. It's not long before the kiss turns more frantic. Suddenly it's too hot, the kisses not enough and their bodies too far apart. Harry whimpers slightly as Louis moves them that Harry's back hits the couch and he is hovering over him. Their lips never part, even when they move around. 

As Louis settles on top of the boy, Harry can't help but move his hands to Louis' waist and pull him closer. The older boy groans lightly as their hips meet, creating some delicious friction between them.

Their kisses slow down, much to Harry's dismay making him whimper pathetically. It all changes though when Louis pulls completely away and looks at him behind his hooded eyes. His lips are pink, slightly swollen and glistening and Harry swears that it's the prettiest thing he has ever seen. Harry's panting, his eyes fixed on Louis' lips when the older boy opens his mouth and almost gives him a heart attack.

"Can I take you to bed?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I know that I promised to make it deep and all, but it turned out... well like this
> 
> QUESTION: What's your favourite song at the moment? Sweet creature, Slow hands and basically everything from my writing playlist x
> 
> QUESTION #2: Do you prefer Sweet creature or Sign of the times? Also This town or Slow hands? 
> 
> QUESTION #3: Your favourite song from Harry's album? I think that mine is Sweet creature, Kiwi and Two ghosts x
> 
> I'll see you soon xx
> 
> All the love, S x


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! An early update because it's my birthday yay! x
> 
> And then the thing that sucks, this one is shorter than before, sorry :(
> 
> Anygay, enjoy! x

Harry stares at the boy on top of him with glassy eyes and want pooling in the pit of his stomach. He was a virgin, there was no way of denying that. He had never had a sexual experience with someone else if you excluded his own hand when he was feeling really desperate. He was a virgin, but he wasn't stupid.

He recognised the want behind Louis' eyes when their eyes met and the heat in his stomach. There was no denying that they wanted each other. So Harry doesn't feel nervous when he gives a slow nod as an answer to the question. Louis smiles softly down on him and leans down to capture the younger boy's lips into a sweet kiss.

They spend their time kissing slow and sweet until they wordlessly agree that they need something more. They stand up from the couch and intertwine their fingers as Louis leads them into the bedroom. As soon as the door closes behind them, they are chest to chest, their lips meeting halfway in a kiss. Louis moves his hands to Harry's soft hips as he begins to walk them toward the bed. When Harry's knees make contact with the bed, they lay down together onto the soft mattress.

After making sure that Harry was comfortable on his back, Louis moves to lay on top of the younger boy. The kiss is different from the ones they shared on the couch. While this one was also full of loving, passion and desire, all the traces of desperateness and hurry were wiped away. Harry shivers under the boy as the kiss deepens and he feels Louis trace his fingers down his side and slip under his shirt. Louis' fingers are warm and gentle against his skin, the touch making Harry's insides tingle.

They part from the kiss way too quickly if you ask Harry. The younger boy chases Louis' lips when Louis pulls away, earning a soft chuckle from the said boy. "Are you sure of this?" Louis asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry opens his eyes to look at the older boy in the dim lit room.

The look Louis is giving him is the most loving one yet. His blue eyes are soft and warm, his lips are curled into a gentle smile and just over all his facial expression is just so sweet. Harry knows that he's sure of it. "Yeah," he whispers. "I-I haven't done anything though," he admits shyly, a blush forming onto the apples of his cheeks. He is suddenly glad of the lack of lighting in the room as his cheeks warm up quite hard.

"Really?" Louis asks softly, leaning down to peck the boy's forehead. "Don't worry about it love. I wasn't planning on all the way on the first time with you."

Harry feels bad for being surprised at the words. He knew that Louis would never pressure him into anything or do anything to hurt him. But still, hearing the words made butterflies fill his stomach and his body relax completely. "I want my first time to be with you," Harry whispers shyly, keeping the eye contact with Louis. He felt awkward talking about sex but he wanted - no needed Louis to know how he felt. How much all of this meant to him.

"When the time comes, I'd love you to be my first as well," Louis says smiling softly as he leans in for another sweet kiss. "So you've never been touched before?" He asks pulling away after few moments of kissing. When their eyes meet, Harry sees something behind Louis' eyes that he can't explain.

"No," Harry says accompanied by a shake of his head. He swears that he hears Louis mutter out a quiet _fuck_ under his breath before there was a pair of lips on his again.

Harry kisses back eagerly, wrapping his arms around Louis' waist again and pulling him closer. Louis' left-hand finds its place from next to Harry's side as his right moves up under the boy's shirt. The younger boy lets out a soft gasp when Louis' fingers hover over his nipple. The sensation is new to him, making his body react by rolling his hips up and digging his nails into Louis' skin. The older boy groans at the contact against his lower region. He takes advantage of their position and rolls his hips down experimentally.

They moan in sync, their kiss turning dirtier by the second. Harry's hands slip under Louis' shirt, loving the feeling of the warm skin under his fingertips. "Can I take your shirt off?" He mumbles against Louis' lips, craving for the feeling of skin against skin.

"Of course love," Louis answers pulling back enough to help the shirt off his body. "Can we take yours off too?" He asks softly as he throws his shirt somewhere on the floor. Harry, even though being a neat freak, found himself not caring about the mess at all. To answer Louis' question, he nods biting his lip.

In no time they're back to kissing, skin against skin, loving every second of it. Kissing should feel the same on the bed as standing and even without a shirt, but it doesn't. It's all new and exciting, the way it feels hundred times more intimate and so much better.

Louis rolls his hips down again, and again, keeping his thrusts slow and steady. Harry's palms were flat on the boy's back, keeping him close to his body. "Fuck," he whines as he is rock hard in his pants. His hands travel down Louis' back and stop at his pants. "Off."

"Are you sure love?" Louis asks as he pulls away. His eyes are filled with lust as he stares down to the boy under him.

Harry nods eagerly and moves to push down the pants. The older boy notices the struggle Harry is facing, so he stands up from the bed and slips out of his pants. He leaves his underwear on, much to Harry's disappointment.

"Now it's your turn," Louis says sweetly as he moves back onto the bed. "If you want to, I wouldn't pressure you," he adds softly, misunderstanding the silence.

Harry shakes his head and moves his hands to his waistband. "I want them off," he admits whispering. "But I want you to take them off."

It might be just an illusion of the darkness, but Louis' eyes seem to darken. His lips part slightly before he bites his bottom lip and nods. His gentle hands travel to Harry's pants and when he starts his mission to get them off, he leans down to kiss the younger boy.

Harry's heart beat picks up once more when he feels the cool air against his heated skin. When he hears his pants hit the ground his cheeks flush and his palms sweat. He still didn't want to believe that he'd be nervous, no. It must be the high temperature in the room or something.

When both of them are just in their underwear, Louis moves back on top of Harry. This time he puts more weight on top of Harry as he grinds his hips down against the younger boy's. The only sounds in the room are their synced moans and the bed squeaking under them. Not that neither of them was complaining about it. Harry wraps his legs around Louis' waist and lifts his hips, earning a louder moan from Louis. Harry feels the heat bubble up in his stomach at the noise.

Just as Harry is about to ask Louis to do something as he was so close to the edge, his phone rings. Usually, in this situation, he would've ignored it and let it ring, but it was his mother. Louis seems to notice the slight change in the mood, stopping his movements and pulling back to look down at the boy.

"Everything okay?" He asks softly. It amazes Harry how the boy could be turned on and still being as sweet as he was.

"Yeah it's just my mum calling," Harry whispers biting his lip. He furrows his eyebrows as Louis bursts laughing and rolls off of him. "What?" He asks, feeling self-conscious suddenly. It couldn't be because of his mother, right? He had seen the older boy act around his own mother and heard him talk about her.

"Sorry, it's just funny. Getting cock blocked from your mother even though I've never met her," Louis explains chuckling.

Harry can't help but giggle as well, hiding his face behind his hands. "Oh god," he breathes between the giggles. "This is embarrassing isn't it?"

"Nah, it's just funny," Louis says smiling. "Now go on, answer the phone before she thinks that you're ignoring him."

Harry rolls off the bed to receive his phone from the pocket of his pants. He manages to drop it onto the floor when it vibrates against his palm. He blushes slightly as he hears Louis snickering softly on the bed. Ignoring the boy, Harry brings the phone to his ear and accepts the call.

"Hi mum," he says smiling softly. "Everything okay?" He asks as he moves to sit on the edge of the mattress, his head towards Louis.

_"Hi, sweetie. I'm okay, just making sure that you're okay? You said that you'd call around seven and it's almost eight,"_ Anne says softly on the other side of the phone.

"Sorry mum, I got a bit distracted. Louis came to visit," Harry says apologising. "I wasn't avoiding you or anything."

_"Oh, I know that you wouldn't. And did you just say, Louis? Is he the boy you mentioned when you came home?"_

Harry glances to Louis over his shoulder and bites his lip. "Yeah that's the one," he says smiling lightly.

_"That's nice. I'd like to meet him sometime. I want to see the boy who makes my little boy happy."_

"You will mum, I promise," Harry says turning back around. "So... are you sure that everything is okay? You usually just call at the most random times- you never text me before you do."

The line was silent for few moments before her voice filled it again. _"Nothing serious, but me and Robin were thinking about moving to a smaller place now that we live just the two of us."_

And that was like a bomb exploding. The house held the dearest childhood memories Harry had. It was the place he took his first steps and where he learned to speak. It was the house he had written on the walls when he was little and it was the house that he held close to his heart. It was special and the thought of losing it was horrible.

"Are you guys sure about it?" Harry asks clearing his throat and looking down to his feet with a frown. He felt the bed move and soon there were hands against his waist. He knew that Louis was wondering what was going on. He'd tell him later.

_"No, that's why we are asking you and Gems about this."_

"Could you guys consider keeping it?" Harry asks quietly. "Like I get why you would sell it, but I don't want to lose the place of all memories."

_"Oh honey, you wouldn't lose the memories_ _," Anne says softly. "And we could always make new ones."_

"But it won't be the same," the boy says quietly. "Can you still think about it? If you want my opinion, I'll say no." He felt bad for saying it but he had, to be honest. He would've regretted it afterwards if he wasn't.

_"Okay. I'll ask Gemma's opinion tomorrow when I see her."_

"You aren't mad at me, right?" Harry asks quietly, curling against Louis. He wouldn't be able to take it to be honest. Anne had never been angry at him, not even the slightest.

Louis, being wonderful like he was, moves to hug Harry closer with one hand and playing with his hair with his other one. Harry makes a soft _mhm_ sound in appreciation.

_"I would never be angry with you for being honest sweetie_. _I know that the thought is hard to you, but believe me, you'd get over it. And like I said, nothing has been set in stone yet. We haven't even been looking for other houses, this is just an idea that came to us."_

"So it is a possibility that you'll keep the house?" Harry asks curling closer to Louis, biting his lip as Louis moves to suck on his neck. "Mhmph what?" He hums as he misses what Anne had said.

_"Do you have company sweetie?"_ Anne asks ignoring her previous words.

Harry wonders for a good few seconds if he should tell her or not. Eventually, he decides that it's better, to be honest with her from the start. "I do mum," he says nodding. His voice comes out a bit breathy as Louis kept sucking his skin.

_"Who is it? Is it Louis?"_

"Mum I can see the grin on your smile," Harry says laughing softly. "Yes, it's Louis."

_"Oh! Okay, I won't bother you any more love. Have fun, I love you! Remember to use protection!"_ Before Harry can answer to that, Anne has already ended the call.

"What's got you all blushy?" Louis asks chuckling as he pulls back from the boy's neck. "What did she say?" He asks curiously.

"Nothing," Harry says biting his bottom lip. "Are you still in the mood?" He asks shyly.

Louis almost giggles as he moves to hug the boy close. "Oh sweetie," he says playfully. "Do you want me to help you to get the edge off?" He asks moving to bite the boy's ear softly.

Harry giggles trying to hide his ear. He was easily ticklish and this was no exception. "Lou," he giggles. "Stop."

"The moment you tell me what your mother said to you," Louis says keeping on nibbling his hear. And it didn't stop there, he started to tickle Harry's side's as well.

"Fine!" Harry shrieks eventually. "She told me to use protection," he admits. "Now stop!"

Louis does this eventually, stilling his hands. "Really? That made you blush like that?" He asks humming softly.

"Don't make fun of me," Harry pouts lightly. He feels how Louis moves them laying onto the bed again. Before he knows it he is being spooned by Louis, hands wondering against his bare chest and stomach.

"Not making fun of you love," Louis says softly, moving to kiss from Harry's neck to his shoulder. "Do you still want me to help you out?"

"Yeah," Harry nods biting his lip as Louis rolls them over. This time, however, Louis moves to straddle the younger boy's lap basically. Harry looks up to Louis with confusion in his eyes along with lust.

Louis gets comfortable and kisses Harry's lips softly. "Do you trust me?" He asks between the lazy kisses. Harry nods eagerly, laying down against the pillows, that his upper body was slightly propped against them.

What Harry didn't expect was to Louis to roll his hips down against his. A loud moan escapes the younger boy's lips as the feeling is even better than before. "Lou," he breathes hovering his hands over the curve of Louis' back. "C-can I?"

"Touch?" Louis asks pulling back away from the kiss. "Go ahead love, do what you want," he says smiling before leaning down to kiss him again.

Harry moves his hands eagerly to Louis' spectacular hum, giving it a squeeze. They both moan because of the feeling, their kisses turning even filthier. Getting excited, Louis trails kisses down from Harry's lips to his neck.

  
Their movements get more frantic as Louis rolls his hips down over and over again, bringing them both near their release. "I'm so close," Harry breathes to Louis' ear.

Louis nibbles his ear lightly. "Me too," he moans, focusing on bringing as much pleasure for Harry as possible. "You can come love? Can you do that to me?" He asks sweetly, moving his hand to squeeze the boy's member through his boxers.

That's all that it takes for Harry to break out a loud moan and come into his boxers. He holds onto Louis as the boy works for his own release. "God Lou, you're so fit," Harry moans helping the boy out. And it works because only a few grinds later he comes as well. Louis tilts Harry's face so he can kiss his lips softly.

"You're so perfect," Louis mumbles against the kiss. "So perfect darling." They make out lazily as they come down their highs.

"I really like you," Harry says softly pulling away from the kiss. He moves his hands to cup Louis' face. Their eyes meet, blue meets green and everything feels just right.

"I really like you too cupcake," Louis smiles gently, leaning down to peck the boy's lips. "Do you want to take a shower? We're in a sticky situation," he says playfully.

Harry slaps the Louis' shoulder lightly. "You're such an idiot," he complains fondly. "But yeah a warm shower sounds good."

With that, Louis and Harry get up from the bed and walk to the bathroom. Harry takes out two towels, holding one of them out for Louis. The older boy takes the towel with a thank you, and a small peck on the cheek. "Do you want me to shower with you? Or would you feel more comfortable to do it alone?"

Harry bites his lip and shrugs. "You can shower with me if you want to," he says smiling lightly.

"I would love to," Louis says softly. He moves to take out his dirty boxers, pretending not to notice how Harry was staring at him.

_He really is big,_ Harry thinks to himself as he looks at Louis' figure. He blushes as his eyes meet Louis' and he realises that he got caught. Playing it cool, he pretends not to be bothered by it and drops his boxers to the floor.

He then starts the shower, fixing the temperature to be perfect. He turns around looking at Louis over his shoulder and beckons for him to get to him. Louis does just that, walking over to Harry and hugging him from behind.

"You're so perfect," Louis says softly, placing a soft kiss on the boy's shoulder. "Can I wash your hair?" He asks as they step under the water.

Harry nods turning around to be chest to chest with the older boy. It was hard to see him though, as the water poured over them, wetting their bodies. "This is so odd," Harry giggles lightly, wrapping his arms around Louis' neck. "I might get used to this though." He hums.

Louis smiles lightly, shaking his head before standing on his tiptoes and placing a light kiss to Harry's lips. They share few lazy pecks under the water flow before pulling back. Louis grabs the shampoo from the stand and squirting some to his palm.

"Come down a bit," Louis smiles. Harry obeys easily leaning down to make it easier for Louis to wash his hair. The older boy does so, running his fingers gently through Harry's hair, giving his scalp a light massage.

After they're done showering, they dry themselves and dress up in Harry's clothes. They then move back to the bedroom and slip under the covers. And after sharing some sweet kisses and soft words, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tell me what you think yeah? :) x
> 
> This was my first time writing anything remotely sexual, sorry that it sucks :P
> 
> Next update will be on 2nd of June :)
> 
> QUESTION: When is your birthday? :) 
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	17. Chapter 17

Three weeks passed in a happy blur. Harry and Louis didn't see each other during those weeks due to Harry's exams, but they talked every day. Every morning Harry would wake up to a good morning text from Louis and go to sleep on a similar note. After getting off that night, they officially agreed that they would be calling each other boyfriends from now on.

Harry walked around during the first few days with the biggest smile on his face. It didn't bother him the slightest that Niall would tease him about it. Nothing could bring down his mood. He had finally gotten his first boyfriend and it was Louis Tomlinson out of anyone. Harry held a small pride for this simple fact.

Tonight was the night that the two lovers would see each other after the fourteen days of being apart. First, they would hang out with their friends at Niall's and after that, they would come back to Harry's. The young, curly-haired boy was more than happy to clean up so Louis would come to a clean house. He knew that the older boy wouldn't care about his apartment being messy, but he still wanted to clean it.

Zayn had promised to pick him up on his way, so Harry was glancing the clock every once in a while. The raven haired boy would be over around five and it was already ten to five. So putting the last dishes to the washer, Harry makes his way to his room.

He changes into a pair of joggers and a fluffy sweater which he had subtly stolen from Louis when he was over. Or maybe he wasn't subtle at all as he was wearing it as Louis left the apartment, but he still got it so he counted it as a win. Despite Louis being few inches shorter than him, the sweater was a bit big on him. It made him feel cute and cuddly, so he loved it. And the best part of it was that it smelled like Louis.

When he's finished, he exits his room turning the lights off as he goes. When he's finished, he exits his room turning the lights off as he goes. He then walks straight to his door, slipping into his shoes and getting out. He makes sure that he has his keys with him and that the door is locked before he walks down where he sees Zayn's car.

"Hi," Harry smiles lightly as he slides into the car. "Did you have to wait long?" He asks while fastening his seatbelt.

"Hi, and no I didn't," Zayn answers pulling out and starting the drive. "So you and Tommo, huh?"

Harry looks over to the boy and raises his eyebrows. "What?"

"You and Louis are a thing now right?" Zayn repeats glancing over at Harry. "I'm really happy for you both, it's about time you found someone nice."

"Who told you that we were together? Not that I mind you knowing- just curious," Harry asks biting his lip. He wanted to know if Louis was telling proudly everyone that they were together. He could imagine the older boy walking around with a smile on his face and telling random people that he was taken by Harry. And even though it was very unlikely that it would happen, Harry could still imagine it.

"Louis called me the other day asking about your favourite flowers," the raven haired boy says with an amused smile. "It was so funny, he sounded so nervous."

Harry could feel a smile take over his face. It was very un-Louis-like to be nervous. "Yeah? Did he say why he wanted to know that?" He asks humming. "And what did you say?"

"I didn't realise to ask and he didn't tell," Zayn says shrugging. "And I told him that you liked Daisies. They are your favourite, right?"

"How did you know?" Harry asks curiously, wiggling in his seat so he was facing Zayn. He was pretty sure that he had never mentioned his love for daisies before. Not to Zayn at least.

"I took a guess," Zayn says shrugging. "Every time you've made a flower crown you've used daisies."

"Oh yeah, you're right," Harry says nodding. "Do you think that he'll bring me flowers tonight?" He asks smiling giddily.

Zayn laughs softly and looks at Harry. "Aw Hazza has it bad," he says cooing. "Maybe. Who knows?" He says humming with a smile. "Louis has been going on and on how much of a romantic he is. Granted he was high at the time, but still."

"But Louis doesn't use drugs? Or drink," Harry says furrowing his brows. At least that what Louis told him the day they met and he hadn't seen the boy drink or smoke.

Zayn bites his lip looking slightly guilty. "Well, he thought that the joint was a cig..."

"Why didn't you tell me that he was wrong?" Harry asks curiously. He was a bit disappointed that Zayn hadn't said anything to him, but he wanted to know the reason behind it. Sue him.

"He was already halfway through it and high as hell," Zayn explains chuckling. "We did tell him and all he did was giggle and say how he felt light. Do you want to know what else he told us?"

Harry nods eagerly, urging the boy to continue. He wouldn't waste the opportunity to hear everything about Louis he could. He might learn something about the way of Louis' mind works.

"He wouldn't shut up about you," Zayn starts. "He went on and on for fifteen minutes how your eyes were the prettiest thing he had ever seen. He then continued talking about your lips- but you know what was his favourite thing?" He stops for a dramatic pause. "Your hair."

"My hair?" Harry asks giggling. "Why?"

"I have no idea. Apparently, it's the softest and curliest he had ever seen or touched. He got a bit teary talking about it."

Harry doesn't know why but he blushes bright red. He was pleased that Louis talked about him, but a part of him was shy about it. He didn't know what to say without sounding like a love-sick teenager. Luckily he didn't need to as Zayn pulled up to Niall's apartment. Harry thanks the raven haired boy for the ride as while they get out of the car.

The two of them walk up to the front door and wait for someone to open the door. It doesn't take more than ten seconds for the blonde boy to yank the door open with a smile on his face.

"You made it!" Niall grins enthusiastically. "Get your butts in here! Louis and Liam are already in the living room eating while we're speaking."

"Lou's here?" Harry asks smiling brightly as they step into the apartment with Zayn. He ignores the snickers from his best friends as he walks into the living room.

Louis' attention doesn't move from the tv, so Harry assumes that he didn't notice him. The younger boy walks quietly behind him and wraps his arms around Louis' body. "Hi, Lou."

"Hi sweetie," Louis smiles placing his hands over Harry's arms. "I missed you. Cmon over here."

Harry happily moves around the couch and squeaks as Louis pulls him down onto his lap. "Louis," he giggles softly wrapping his arms around the older boy's neck. "I missed you too."

Louis smiles softly as he cups Harry's cheek and leans in to press a soft kiss on his lips. They share a few soft and sweet kisses before they hear a gagging sound behind them. Louis is the one to pull away and glance over his shoulder where Niall was standing.

"I love you both, but no snogging on my couch," Niall says patting the boy's shoulder.

Harry looks over to Niall as well and raises his eyebrows. "Oh? And you and Liam kissing on my couch is a different thing then?"

"I thought that you were sleeping," Niall gasps shocked, making Harry giggle lightly.

"I wasn't, I was just resting my eyes a little while," he says sweetly. He closer to Louis and intertwines their fingers. Louis traces the back of Harry's hand with his thumb, making the boy's stomach fill with butterflies.

"There you have it, now can I kiss my boyfriend some more?" Louis asks cheekily, pulling Harry closer by his waist. Harry nuzzles his face into Louis' neck smelling the comforting scent of the boy. "I love it how you look in my sweater," Louis whispers into Harry's ear softly.

"Okay- the show's over," Niall chuckles. "I don't even want to know what you said to H to make him blush like that."

Harry can hear Liam, Zayn and Louis laugh as well, making him blush even more. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't used to compliments. "Aw it's okay baby," Louis says chuckling softly while petting Harry's hair.

Looking up, Harry sees Niall staring at them looking smug as ever. "Want to help me making the batter?" Niall asks gesturing toward the kitchen with his head. Harry shares a soft kiss with Louis before he stands up from his lap and follows Niall to the kitchen.

He is surprised to see that Niall had actually pulled out the ingredients needed for cookies. "Since when you have been interested in baking?" Harry asks curiously as he moves to wash his hands.

"I'm not. I just forgot to ask if you wanted to bake for tonight, so I thought that I'd get it started," Niall admits. "But I promise to help you! You can boss me around."

"Okay, what kind of cookies you want to bake?" Harry asks humming as he dries his hands. He had a feeling that Niall wanted to talk about something, most likely about Louis. He wouldn't push the matter though, as Niall would speak when he was ready.

"I only have some strawberries and chocolate? So I guess chocolate-strawberry cookies," Niall says humming. "That's an okay combo, right?"

"It is," Harry says nodding. "So you can start with chopping the berries and the chocolate, yeah?"

And after that, they were baking. Harry gave instructions to Niall and helped him if he needed it. He himself tried to do all the hardest parts, but he struggled with thinking what was hard. To him everything easy. They struggled a little bit with the eggs but other than that they were fine. Just like Harry had thought, Niall opened his mouth when they put the cookies into the oven.

"So," Niall starts, looking over at Harry from where he is leaning against the counter. "You and Louis."

It wasn't a question but Niall made it sound like one. Harry stands up straight and closes the oven door, looking back at Niall. "We're together," he says softly. "We had a talk about it and we agreed to give this a go," he smiles brightly. He loved the topic of Louis and their new found love. Well, maybe not love just _yet_.

"I gathered as much from the way you guys are acting," Niall says humming. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. Does he treat you right?"

"He's been amazing so far," Harry says honestly. "This is the first night we're seeing each other after the exams but yeah. We've been texting whenever we have the time and skyped few times." The Skype calls had been the best thing to Harry. He had gotten to see Louis all soft, tired and cuddly as they both lied down in their own beds and talked. It was the next best thing from being actually together.

"Have you thought about what will happen when you go to college?" Niall asks softly. "Louis is already attending his classes in here."

Harry bites his lip and looks down to his feet. "No I haven't been thinking about it," he says quietly. "It's a bit early to think about it, right? We've only been together for few weeks. When the time comes, we'll figure it out, yeah? I just want to enjoy my time with him..."

"And that's okay, as long as you guys are on the same page with this."

"We are," Harry says confidently. "That's why we had the talk. We wanted to make sure that we both wanted the same things."

Niall pushes himself up and walks over to Harry, pulling him into a warm and tight hug. "I'm so happy for you Haz. You deserve to be happy and I'm glad to see that it's with Louis. He's a good lad," Niall whispers against Harry's shoulder.

"Thank you," Harry smiles lightly. "I'm happy that you and Liam have found each other. You guys are cute," he says giggling softly.

They pull back after a moment, both moving to lean against the counter. "And now I want all the juicy stuff. Is he a good kisser? Have you guys done anything yet?" Niall says with pure curiosity behind his eyes.

"I don't kiss and tell Ni, I'm a lady," Harry says teasingly.

Just as Niall opens his mouth to either argue or comment over it, Liam walks into the room. "Are the cookies ready?" Liam asks walking closer and wrapping his arms around Niall. Harry watches Niall relax into the touch and lean his head back against Liam's shoulder. It was clear that they were comfortable and on the same page with their relationship. Something that Harry wanted for him and Louis.

And if you asked him, they were heading in that direction.

"We just put them in," Harry says smiling as he points to the oven. "They should be ready in ten or so minutes."

"Sounds good," Liam hums approvingly. "What flavour are they?" He asks. His eyes were glued to Niall's profile even though the words were directed to Harry. It was adorable.

"Strawberry-chocolate," Harry says. "Do you want some time alone? I can come back to get the cookies out," he suggests, making Niall blush lightly.

Liam chuckles seeing the red cheeks as well and leans in to kiss Niall's temple lightly. "If you don't mind?" He says looking up at Harry with a kind smile. Niall was glaring him with a look that said that they weren't done with their conversation yet.

Harry flashes a smile and blows a kiss to the blonde before he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. He sees Louis on the couch alone, so furrowing his brows lightly he looks around searching Zayn. The raven haired boy is nowhere to be seen though. Harry walks over to the couch and plops down next to Louis. The older boy reacts to his presence immediately wrapping his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulling him closer. Harry goes easily and leans his head against Louis' shoulder.

"Where's Zayn?" Harry asks softly, his eyes on the tv. Louis had changed the channel so there was a football game on now. He recognised one of the teams as FC Barcelona but he had no idea what the other one was.

"He went outside to have a smoke and to call his mum. Apparently, she is planning on coming over to say hi this weekend and they are going over the plan," Louis answers humming. "What did you and Niall make, love?" He asks softly, turning his head to the side and kissing Harry's temple softly.

Harry's stomach fills with butterflies under the gentle weight of Louis' lips. He wonders if he ever stopped feeling like this when they kissed. He hoped that no.

"Some cookies. Niall was supposed to ask me to bring some over but he forgot," Harry hums. "Strawberry-chocolate. I've never made that flavoured cookies before, so I hope that they're okay."

"I'm sure that they're perfect, love," Louis smiles. "Where's Niall and Liam? I thought that you were baking with the blondie."

Harry giggles lightly, tilting his head so he could meet Louis' eyes. "They wanted some alone time so I came here," he says smiling. His dimples were full on display.

"That's nice," Louis says pecking the boy's nose. "Do you mind if I watch the game? We haven't seen in a bit and I missed you. So I don't mind skipping this one," he offers.

"I don't mind. I get to cuddle you and you're coming over tonight, right?"

"Of course I am, if it's still okay with you," Louis says gently.

"I want you to come," Harry says honestly. "I missed you too by the way. A lot."

Louis smiles brighter and squeezes Harry's shoulder. "Good, missed you too a lot," he says in a playful way. "I got you something small."

"Oh, what?" Harry asks curiously, pushing himself up. Maybe he would get his flowers after all.

"It's a surprise cuddle bug," Louis says grinning. "You'll get it when we go home."

_Home._ It warmed Harry's heart that Louis said home when they were talking about his apartment. "Cuddle bug?" Harry asks instead of declaring his love for the boy.

"Yeah, I think that it suits you," Louis says smiling. "Is it okay that I call you that?"

"I like it, so yeah," Harry answers, curling to Louis' side more. He places his head back against Louis' shoulder and sighs contently. Louis moves his hand from his shoulder to his waist and pulls him closer.

Even though Harry didn't know that much about football, nor was the biggest fan, watching the sport with Louis was nice. It was amusing to study Louis' facial expressions whenever the players screwed up or did something good.

But to Harry's disappointment, the ten minutes rolled quickly. He stands up from the couch after leaving a light kiss on Louis' lips. He then walks back to the kitchen where Niall and Liam are full on snogging.

Harry covers his eyes and gasps playfully, "My eyes. My innocent eyes." He peeks behind his hands to see the boys pull back with their faces red.

"Was that really ten minutes already?" Niall asks clearly panting.

"Uh huh," Harry giggles lightly, moving his hands away from his face. "So should we take the cookies out?" He asks smiling.

"I'll go watch the game with Lou," Liam clears his throat and walks out of the room after kissing Niall.

Harry doesn't even try to hold back the smug look on his face as he walks to the oven. He takes the cookies out, delighted to see that they looked perfect. The chocolate had melted nicely and the strawberries were peeking out from the core.

He turns around to show the baked goods to Niall. "Don't they look delicious?" He asks grinning.

"They do," Niall agrees with a light smile. "Can we not talk about that just yet?" He asks shyly, biting his lip.

"Of course not," Harry says softly. "But don't think that I won't tease you for it," he adds quickly before Niall can sigh in relief.

"Just wait till I walk in on you and Louis," Niall says with a pointed look. "But anyways should we wait for them to cool down or just put them on a plate already?"

Harry thinks about it a second before shrugging. "Maybe we should let them cool down a bit? Like we could put everything else ready and on display and then worry about the cookies."

"Sounds good, let's do that," Niall agrees with a hum.

And that's what they did. They gathered all the food onto three trays and moved them to the living room. At first, the plan was to eat in the kitchen, but Liam, Louis and Zayn seemed to be more interested in the footie game, so they compromised.

After moving everything into the living room, Harry and Niall sit down onto the couch between their boyfriends. Zayn was back from outside and sitting in the armchair next to the couch. It was a bit of a tight fit for the four boys as the couch was meant for three people. Harry didn't mind though as he got to sit close to Louis.

"It smells good in here," Louis compliments wrapping his arm around Harry. "Can I have one?" He asks pointing at the cookies.

"Of course," Niall says smiling from where he was tucked under Liam's arm. "They might be a little hot, so be careful."

Louis brushes off the warning and reaches for a cookie. He examines it for a few seconds before he takes a big bite. Harry looks at him eat, waiting for his reaction to the taste. He grins beams brightly as Louis basically moans taking another bite.

"God this is so good," Louis praises with his mouth full. If anyone else did that Harry would be disgusted. But it was his lovely boyfriend so it found it kind of adorable when it came to him.

"Yeah?" Zayn hums, looking at Louis. "Give me one then," he says holding his hand out while his eyes turn back to the game. Louis hums lightly, reaching out again and passing one of the cookies to Zayn.

Zayn nods slightly as a thank you before he takes a bite. "You're right, this shit is good," he compliments taking another bite as well.

Harry and Niall then turn to Liam, looking at him expectingly. "What?" Liam asks confused. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't you want one?" Niall asks blinking up to the man. "Louis and Zayn had one too."

Liam looks at Louis as if to ask for help. "Um, I thought that they were still hot," he says biting his lip. Niall was clearly not impressed. He took one cookie and held it in front of Liam's face. No words were needed, Niall's look said it all.

Harry notices the amused look on Louis' face as he looks at the scene unfold. He nudges Louis with his elbow and leans closer to the boy. He knew that he should scold Louis a little for a little shit, but he ignored it. He was curious to see what would happen as well and he wasn't a hypocrite. You see, Harry could remember one of the conversations he had with Louis few nights ago. He remembered all conversations he had had with Louis but that's not what made the situation funny.

What made the situation so amusing was the fact that Liam was on a some sort of diet. Harry remembers how Louis had found it amusing that Liam had started the diet to try and get Niall to eat healthier as well. Louis had commented how he felt like Niall knew about his plan and was eating junk food just to spite the boy. They had agreed that it was a bit silly as Niall loved his sweets and chips and how Liam already ate healthily. So to see Niall force the cookie to Liam was amusing.

He almost lets out a giggle as Liam takes the cookie from Niall and moves it to his mouth slowly. The blonde's eyes never leave Liam's face the said boy takes a bite of the cookie.

"Well?" Niall asks raising his eyebrows at Liam. "Was it that bad?" 

Liam shakes his head and takes another small bite. It was most likely just do get Niall off his back, but he did seem to enjoy the taste at least a bit. "It's good," he says after his mouth was empty again. "I didn't know if it was going to be good or not, but it was."

"But you said that it sounded good when we told you the combination?" Niall points out raising his eyebrows. "Were you lying?"

"Of course not," Liam says shaking his head again. He pulls the blonde closer to his side and places a soft kiss on his temple. "Just because it sounds good, doesn't mean that it is. And sorry baby but you're not the greatest baker."

"Luckily he had me," Harry comments smiling brightly. He earns a small glare from Niall, but he doesn't mind it as it holds no kick in it. "Love you Ni, but it's true."

Niall huffs slightly and crosses his arms. "Why would I want to know how to bake? If I did you wouldn't bake me as often and Liam would make me take turns on cooking the dinner. I enjoy the way things are right now."

"I would still bake you even if you knew how to bake," Harry says softly, poking the boy with his toes. "You're my best taster."

"You're right though, I would make you cook from time to time if I wasn't worried that I got a food poisoning out of it," Liam chuckles. He earns a slap on the chest for his comment, making everyone laugh. "Sorry baby," Liam smiles softly.

"I wouldn't give you a food poisoning," Niall mutters leaning his head against Liam's chest.

"Of course not," Harry agrees for Niall's sakes. "No one really thinks that you would," he says glaring at Zayn who opens his mouth to comment. It was better for all if Niall was in a happy mood. Something was seriously wrong if he wasn't.

Everyone agrees quietly, making the smile come back to the blonde's face. "I vote that we eat and cheer our team for the victory," Louis says holding up a cookie like it was a glass of champagne. Harry was seriously falling for an idiot.

"Works for me," Zayn chimes in reaching out for a can of soda. They had agreed to keep the night alcohol free so it was either a soda or water.

They fall into an easy chatter after that. Everyone fills up their paper plates and eat happily while watching the game. Harry and Niall focus more on their conversation than to the game but it worked out for everyone. Louis, Liam and Zayn would comment on some of the referees mistakes sometimes, but other than that they were quite quiet.

After the game ends they wonder what they should do. Zayn suggests that they go out and have couple of beers, but the others weren't that keen on it. Neither were they for a game of footie that Louis suggested. Liam wondered out loud if they should play something and that made everyone hum in agreement.

The only problem was that they didn't know what game to play. Niall suggested Twister but Louis and Liam were quick to say no. Harry came up with alias but again his thoughts were taken down. A few ideas later Niall sat up straight with glee on his face.

"We should play truth or dare!" He squeals happily, looking around the room. Harry looks at Louis, curious to see what he thought of the idea. Louis had a poker face covering his features so the younger boy didn't have a clue of his thoughts.

"Isn't that the game that all sixth graders play?" Liam raises his eyebrows as he looks at Niall.

The blonde rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to his boyfriend. "No. Well yes, but we can play it too. It's not like it's meant for just twelve-year-olds," he points out.

"Well I don't mind," Harry hums his eyes meeting Louis'. "It could be fun, yeah?" He says more to Louis than the others.

Louis captures his bottom lip between his teeth and holds the gaze. "If Harold is in, then so am I," he says finally, smiling down to the boy. "Just as long as we agree that we don't play it like twelve-year-olds."

"What does that mean? Tell me how twelve-year-olds play then," Niall says humming.

"I don't know, something like _have you ever had a crush on one of the players_ or something like that," Louis says shrugging.

"I mean we all know the answer to that," Zayn says teasingly flashing a wink toward the couples. "But I'm in too because why not. It might be funny."

"So it's up to you Liam," Harry says directing the attention to the said boy. "Are you in or out?"

Liam shifted under the attention and eventually shrugged. "I guess I don't have a choice," he says. "So I guess we should agree on the rules and what not."

"I think that we should just do it in the normal way. Like if I ask Liam something then it's his turn to ask the next and so on. Sounds good?" Niall suggests.

"What if you don't want to go through the dare? What happens then?" Louis asks humming. "Usually the player has to take a shot but I don't think that it fits the game this time."

"If you don't want to do it you take off one piece of clothing," Zayn says from the other side of the couch. He turns in his armchair to face the rest of the boys properly. "Cool?"

"I have no problem with it," Louis is the first one to agree on the terms.

"I'm cool with it too," Niall chimes in smiling. "Like we're all friends here, so no worries."

Harry wasn't as sure about agreeing to the suggestion. He didn't like his body that much so he wasn't sure if he wanted to undress in front of everyone. Sure, Louis and Niall had seen him basically naked but still, the idea didn't sit well with him.

But when Liam hummed his agreement, he found himself nodding as well. "I'm okay with it," he says quietly. "So who goes first?" He asks. He can feel Louis pulling him closer to his body, to the point where he was almost sitting on his lap. Not that Harry minded of course.

"I'll go!" Niall exclaims enthusiastically before anyone else can say a word. "Okay, Harry, truth or dare?" He asks turning to Harry.

"Um... truth," Harry decides quietly. "Yeah I'll go with the truth," he repeats more confidently.

Niall whines and rolls his eyes. "You're so lame," he complains with a small pout playing on his lips. "Okay, well have you ever farted and blamed it on Dusty?"

Dusty was Harry's beloved cat that lived with his mother back at home. Niall had seen the cat multiple times as they hung out at Harry's place a lot when they were younger.

Harry blushes lightly and shakes his head. "No, I haven't," he says. And it was true, he would never do that to his princess.

Niall eyes the boy sceptically but lets it go. "Okay your turn then," he hums.

Taking some time to think, Harry looks between the boys. He kind of wanted to go for Louis, but he had a feeling that the others were expecting it. So instead of Louis, he turned to Zayn. "Truth or dare Zaynie?"

The boy looks surprised to be picked. "Dare," Zayn says without taking any time to think. It was probably because he knew that Hary wouldn't make him do anything bad.

"I dare you to send I love you to the person Liam picks on your phone. And you can't tell them that it is a dare until tomorrow," Harry smiles brightly, happy for what he came up with.

Zayn throws a warning look to Liam who devilishly takes his phone and goes to the contacts. "Isn't Mrs Benson your neighbour?" Liam asks after a while of scrolling. "I want you to text her," he says as Zayn nods.

"Do I have to? She is already looking at me like I'm something to eat," Zayn asks complaining as he receives his phone back.

"Oh please, as if no one else does," Louis points out with an eye roll. "Go on Zaynie, just rip the bandaid," he says playfully.

Zayn does what he is dared with some muttering under his breath. Harry can't make out the words, but he is sure that it wasn't something positive.

"Okay, Louis. Truth or dare mate?" Zayn asks turning to Louis. He had an odd glint in his eyes that made Louis return the gaze with an amused face.

"Dare," Louis says simply.

"I dare you to swap clothes with Harry," Zayn says smirking. "Boxers included. And you have five minutes to be back, starting now."

"And what if we aren't?" Louis asks standing up, pulling Harry along with him.

"Then I get to post something on your Instagram that you can't delete. I know that your mother follows you, Lou. The time is ticking," Zayn says clearly enjoying the power.

Louis and Harry don't waste another second standing in the room. They ran into the kitchen and behind the counter. It was the closest room after all and the counter would do the job of keeping them hidden.

"Off," Louis says hurriedly, moving his hands to the hem of Harry's sweater. Well, it was originally his, but who cares.

"I can do it," Harry huffs, slightly out of breath as he undresses. "Any idea on the time?" He asks as he moves to his pants.

"No just keep going," Louis says throwing his shirt onto the counter and slipping out of his socks. Harry follows the orders and continues to take his clothes of until he is completely naked. He sees that Louis is already moving to dress into his clothes, his eyes admiring the boy's body.

This was the first time they saw each other completely naked for the first time in a good lighting. It gave Harry the opportunity to basically drool at the sight. "Okay love, put on the clothes now," Louis rushes holding out the boxers.

Harry snaps out of his daze, taking the boxers and slipping them on. It felt weird how he felt as he moved on to the joggers. It was a good coincidence that they both were wearing loose clothes instead of skinnies. The dare would've been really hard to go through otherwise.

"Less than a minute boys, the clock is ticking," Zayn calls from the living room.

Louis looks at Harry with wide eyes before pulling on the sweater. After that he was fully dressed, moving to pick up his sweater. He steps closer and helps Harry put on the shirt before taking his hand and rushing into the living room.

"We're here," he says panting as the sits down onto the couch. "And based on you staying quiet, we made it on time," he smiles brightly.

"Five seconds left," Zayn says putting his phone away. "Must say that I'm impressed Tommo. I thought that you'd get distracted and snog your boyfriend, but no."

"Hey, I have a name," Harry says pouting. "And we're not some horny teenagers."

Louis chuckles softly, pulling the pouting boy closer. "We are horny teenagers love," he says playfully. "I need some kisses, we won after all."

Harry looks up still pouting. "Zayn's being mean," he complains. Louis cooes softly before leaning down and kissing the boy's pouty lips. It was a slow and sweet kiss, PG-13 and all.

"Okay lovebirds cut it off," Liam says smiling softly. "Louis is your turn to go," he reminds as the couple pulls apart.

"I know that," Louis says glancing up. "So Liam. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Liam says only to be cut off by Niall.

"No honey, you take the dare," Niall hums turning to look at Louis. "He wants a dare."

"You know that it's Liam's turn to choose?" Harry asks biting his smile to try and suppress the smile. It didn't work well at all.

"Baby?" Niall turns to Liam raising his eyebrows. "I'll let you make me a smoothie tomorrow. And I'll drink it without complaining," he says smiling.

"Even if I put avocado in it?"

"Even then," Niall promises, the words lighting up Liam's face. "So you'll do it?"

"I'll go with a dare," Liam says quickly, looking over at Louis. He ignores the scoff from Zayn and listens pointedly what Louis would say.

Louis smiles devilishly at the boy and rubs his hands together in an evil manner. "I dare you to go outside and tell the worst pick-up line you know to the first stranger."

The room falls silent for a couple of seconds before they start laughing. All but Liam. "No way am I doing that," he says shaking his head. He looked seriously terrified. "I have a boyfriend."

"Who, I'm sure is more than willing to see this happen," Louis says knowingly. "Isn't that right, dearest Niall?"

The blonde nods enthusiastically, turning to his boyfriend. He mumbles a soft 'I'm sorry' to him accompanied by a soft kiss. Liam mumbles something under his breath before he stands up and crosses his arms.

"I assume that you have to come with me and make sure that I do it?"

"Yep," Louis says happily standing up as well.

And in no time the group is out of the door and walking down to the street. They agree that it doesn't matter what age or gender the person is. No matter what Liam has to follow through his dare.

One thing strikes Harry though. Liam could've easily taken off one piece of clothing and been done with it. He guesses that either Liam didn't remember the option or he just wanted to please Niall. He assumed that it was the second option of the two.

The first person to come into their line of sight is an elderly woman with a small dog. "Do I really have to flirt with her?" Liam asks looking uncomfortable.

"We agreed to this already, so yeah," Niall says smiling. "It's over before you know it."

"Yeah c'mon man, it's not that bad," Zayn says chuckling as he pats the boy's back.

Liam doesn't have time to answer the two as the woman approaches them. "Hi excuse me?" Liam starts with a polite and warm smile on his face. The woman stops and raises her eyebrows at him.

"Yes, dear?" She asks softly, fixing her glasses that slid down his nose.

"Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!" Liam speaks up awkwardly and the next thing they know Liam's cheek is red and the woman is walking away.

Louis is the first one to get out of his immediate shock and burst into laughing. The others were soon to follow. "What the hell man? You didn't just say that" he laughs loudly.

"What? You said that the worst pick up line I knew," Liam defends holding his hand against his reddening cheek.

"But still? There are other bad ones," Harry points out giggling as well.

"Did you see her face? It was priceless," Niall chimes in cackling. "Babe, that was hilarious."

"Where did you even come up with that?" Zayn asks while wiping his watery eyes.

Liam looked between the boys not as amused as them. "When I get bored or can't sleep I google funny things. I think that while ago I googled the worst pick up lines and that came up."

"Oh, that's so good, too bad that we didn't get it on video," Louis hums.

After some small and light-hearted bickering, they agree to go back to Niall's. Louis and Harry follow the boys hand in hand, swinging them between their bodies. When they get back inside and into the living room, they fall back onto their previous spots. Harry waits for Louis to get comfortable, then moving under his arm and as close as possible. Louis smiles softly down to the younger boy, squeezing his waist lightly.

"Your turn Liam," Zayn says after everyone is settled down. Liam hums and turns to Niall.

"Truth or dare?" He asks softly.

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me," Liam says grinning before puckering his lips as an invite.

"Cmon that's so lame," Louis complains, watching the couple share a kiss. "You could've just asked him to kiss you while playing and he would've said yes. You didn't need to waste your dare to that."

"And don't you even dare to be sappy and say that kissing Niall never goes to waste," Zayn adds before Liam could open his mouth.

"But it's true," Liam says simply, looking down at smug Niall.

"What can I say? I'm a good kisser," the blonde says matter-of-factly. "But it's my turn now, so Harry. Truth or dare?"

Harry turns his attention from Louis to Niall and shrugs lightly. "I guess I'll go with the dare also? Because I did the truth last time and all," Harry ponders.

"Why that look Ni?" Zayn asks curiously, looking at the devious look on Niall's face.

"Harry," Niall pronounces Harry's name slowly. He stays quiet as if to build up the tension in the room. Harry almost wants to tell him to just say it, but he wills himself to stay quiet. He could wait for Niall to continue. And he does, "I dare you to give our dear Louis a lap dance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would've been too long so I decided to do it in two parts :)
> 
> QUESTION: What is the worst pick-up line you know? 
> 
> Also opinions on the character progress? Let me know what you think x
> 
> Next update on the 16th of June on 7 PM UK time :)
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	18. Chapter 18

It takes a few seconds to Harry to realise the words. His eyes widen and blush covers his cheeks as he turns to look at Louis. The older boy seemed to be lost whether to be amused or scared.

"And, if you choose to back out and not do it you have to take off your pants," Niall adds smiling. "So either a dance or pants will go."

"So either I have to be basically naked or I have to embarrass myself?" Harry asks quietly.

Louis pulls Harry closer and brings his lips to his ear. "You don't have to do it, love, we can get you a blanket or something to cover up," he says softly, kissing the skin behind his ear.

"You won't do it," Zayn shakes his head. "There is no way the Harry we know would do that. Hell, I bet you fifty pounds that you won't do it."

"I'll jump on that one," Niall says grinning. "I'll throw in a fifty as well. It's okay Hazza, we know that you're not the type-"

"I'll do it," Harry interrupts the blonde with a determination clear on his face. "I can do it and I will."

Louis runs his fingers through the boy's hair lightly while the other boys stare at Harry surprised. "Are you sure love?" Louis asks softly, his voice quiet enough for it to be for Harry's ears only. "You really don't have to do it, you have nothing to prove."

"But I do," Harry says equally as quiet. "I want to prove that I can." He wasn't sure if it was the greatest idea but he needed to do it. He didn't want to be the person in their group who didn't have the guts to do anything. Which was a bit dramatic, but hey how bad could it be?

"Okay then," Niall says looking surprised as ever. "To what song you want to dance to?" He asks standing up and walking over to the stereos. He pulls out his phone and connects it to the sound system.

Harry glances over to Louis and silently asks for help. He didn't listen to the type of music that was sexual or good for a lap dance. He only knew a few Beyonce songs that might me good for the purpose. The older boy seems to understand what Harry was after and answers by shrugging lightly. Harry sticks his tongue out at him, before turning to Niall.

"Um, Partition by Beyonce?" Harry says unsurely. If he remembers the song correctly it was sexual.

"Partition? Good choice," Zayn comments humming. "Not sure why you chose it though. It's not like you're going to dance or anything."

Harry looks over at Zayn with his eyebrows furrowed. He wasn't sure if Zayn was just pushing him to do it or trying to rile him up or something. Zayn was never the one trying to make him feel stupid or weak. So it was understandable why Harry was so confused over the attitude.

"How about you just focus on getting the fifty you promised, huh?" Louis comes to the rescue. While speaking he squeezes Harry's hip reassuringly.

Zayn holds his hands up in surrender. "Chill. I'll do that after Harry is done with the show."

Louis clearly wasn't happy about the term the raven haired boy used of the dance, based on the mutter under his breath. Harry places his hand flat against Louis' chest in an attempt to try to have the boy to calm down. The older boy glances down and breaths out deeply. Harry is just about to say something to Louis when Niall chirps in.

"The music is ready, so you can start if you feel like it."

Harry captures his bottom lip between his teeth as he nods and stands up. He keeps his eyes down on his feet as he moves to stand in front of Louis. He shivers slightly as he hears the starting beats of the song come through the speakers quite loudly. He notices immediately that the version of the song was the shorter one, making him relax the slightest. He could do it. He shyly looks up at Louis from under his lashes and takes a small step closer to him.

_Driver roll up the partition please,_ Beyonce's sultry voice starts out, making Harry blush lightly. He leans down and places his hands on Louis' shoulders and arches his back. He knows that his bum is on display nicely, and so does Niall, Zayn and Liam, based on their playful catcalls.

_Driver roll up the partition please,_  
_I don't need you seeing 'yonce on her knees_

Harry moves down onto the couch, his knees on either side of Louis' thighs at the time of the song. Louis' face is slightly pink and his eyes are wide as he watches his boyfriend straddling his lap. The older boy's hands are on the couch, his knuckles white as he holds onto the material of it. Harry kind of wishes that Louis' hands would be on his hips or waist, but he doesn't dare to ask.

_Oh he so horny, he want to fuck_

Both of them blush at the line, Harry's eyes drifting down to Louis' pink lips to try and keep the embarrassment on control. He remembers that he has to at least try and dance so he does just that. Harry fixes his hold on the boy's shoulders and slowly moves his hips in a circular motion. The movements were timid, but they seemed to work just fine.

_Oh there daddy, d-daddy didn't bring the towel_

Harry blushes deeply, yet again, at the dirtily spoken word as he lowers his bum to hover over Louis' crotch. The playful yet loud catcalls go unheard by Harry as he focuses solely on his boyfriend. He grinds down, slow and shy, mimicking the movements Louis had done when they were getting off. Louis was now biting his lip and leaning his head against the couch as if he was trying to see the show better. If that was the case, Harry wasn't complaining.

_Take all of me, I just wanna be the girl you like, girl you like_

Feeling daring, Harry mouths the words to Louis, making sure to run his tongue over them lightly. It was weird how quickly he grew more confident, moving more surely and daring.

_Driver roll up the partition fast_

The song continued on after the course and he noticed how Louis was struggling at keeping his hands down. Harry wanted to stop and say that it was okay to touch, but he controlled himself. He wanted to see if Louis would break down or not. Lose his control.

Harry made a show out of leaning down and trailing some wet, open-mouthed kisses from Louis' jaw to his neck. He feels the shivers and warmth radiating from the older boy against his lips, making him feel powered.

_Handprints and footprints on my glass_  
_Handprints and good grips all on my ass_

Harry jolts surprised as Louis moves his hands suddenly to his bum and gives it a good squeeze. He pulls back with his lips parted, feeling the semi Louis was supporting in his sweatpants. Not that he was any better.

Liam seems to notice this too, standing up quickly and walking over to the stereos. He pulls Niall's phone off the aux wire and looks over at the couple. "Okay, the show is over and hands where I can see them," Liam says clearing his throat.

The blush forming on Harry's cheeks is barely noticeable as he was flushed from dance. He sees amusement spark in Louis' eyes and not even two seconds later, he understands why.

"You can see my hands Payno," Louis says chuckling, patting the bum lightly. "So don't even give me that look, just following your orders."

"Idiot," Liam mumbles under his breath before saying louder, "Make it PG-13 then."

"Honey, touching someone's bum isn't R-rated," Niall says softly chuckling. "But he has a point. Louis, please let go of Harry's ass and Harry, get your ass away from Louis' dick. You were supposed to give him a lap dance, not give us an example of your foreplay."

Louis rolls his eyes lightly as he moves his hands to Harry's waist. "I don't know what you guys have talked about, but our foreplay doesn't look like this," Louis says humming. "That is for our eyes only after all."

Harry blushes at the subject and hides his face to the crook of Louis' neck. He hated how easily he would blush.  "Okay, my turn," he says against the boy's skin. "Liam, truth or dare?"

"But it was my turn a minute ago," Liam complains. "Ugh, truth," he says after a moment, probably accepting the situation.

"Lou? Any ideas?" Harry asks quietly, meaning the words for the boy's ears only.

"Do you want to embarrass him or just ask a basic question?" Louis asks humming softly, moving to place a soft kiss against Harry's hair. The younger boy smiles lightly.

"I don't know," he says softly.

Louis hums again softly, as he runs his fingers up and down his back. "How about, you ask what was the last time he watched porn and what kind of video was it?" He suggests his voice low and quiet.

"I don't want to know that!" Harry shrieks pulling back to look down at Louis.

"What don't you want to know?" Niall asks curiously, earning a small glance at his direction.

"Ask it, love," Louis whispers softly. His voice wasn't demanding despite the words. Harry knew that it would be okay if he didn't do it. Louis wouldn't be mad or disappointed at him.

And still a small part of his brain wanted to please Louis. "Liam," Harry speaks up, looking over at the boy. "When was the last time you watched porn and what kind of a video was it?" He asks.

All of their reactions were different. Zayn hid his mouth behind his hand, Niall started laughing quite loudly, Louis was looking at Harry while the younger boy bit his lip. But the best reaction was from Liam himself. His face was as red as a tomato and his eyes were practically popped out of their sockets.

"No, I'm not answering," Liam says quickly shaking his head. "I'll rather strip it down."

"Oh, so it's bad then," Zayn smirks. "Aw Niall, your boyfriend watches weird porn without you!" He teases.

"And it's not like he's subtle about it," Niall comments cackling. "He looks so guilty right after he has done it. Baby, it's okay, it's completely normal," he directs his soft, yet amused, words at his boyfriend.

"I don't know about that," Louis chimes in with his comment. "I haven't watched porn since I met Harry. I haven't had the need to," he says sounding proud.

"And then we have our young Hazza who hasn't even visited a porn site before," Niall says.

Harry turns his attention to Niall and furrows his eyebrows. Niall was right with his comment, Harry had never felt the desire to watch porn. He thought that sex was something intimate and meant between the two parts involved. Or more if you were into that kind of stuff, he wasn't one to judge. But what confused Harry was that how the blonde knew. They had never talked about porn despite being close.

"How do you know?" Harry asks at the same time as Louis breathes a quiet _really?_.

Niall shrugs. "I know how you feel about sex in general. I just don't see you watching that kind of videos," he explains humming. "Not that there is anything wrong with that. At least you don't have some kind of high expectations."

"Did you have high expectations?" Liam asks with a small line between his brows. He didn't look like he was meant to ask that question, but he didn't take it back.

"I think that this conversation would be the safest to have alone," Louis says softly. "Liam, strip it down mate."

Liam turns to look at Louis and sighs. He moves his hands to the hem of his shirt and takes it off. Harry can't help but admire his friends defined abs. While he liked the way they looked, he still preferred the soft edges on Louis. It made the boy cuddly and well, Louis.

"I'm getting jealous over here," Louis whispers playfully in Harry's ear.

"You have no reason to," Harry says softly, snuggling closer to Louis' chest. "You know that my heart is for you only."

"Mhm, but your eyes may divert to somewhere else?" Louis teases, kissing the boy's neck softly. "I'm just teasing love, I know that you wouldn't look at him like that."

"I wouldn't," Harry agrees smiling. "Are we going to continue with this or should we just call it quits?" He asks with a louder voice, adressing everyone.

"Well I only got one dare," Niall hums. "So how about we go on for few more rounds? Just to get everyone some laughs," the blonde suggests.

They all nod in agreement and continue playing. They end up with Zayn taking off his shirt after being dared to lick mayo from Niall's toes. Yeah, gross. Harry admits that he once stole a lollipop from the store when he was little. He had cried to his mum after and demanded her to get him back so he could pay for it. Louis had cooed at the story while the others had slightly snickered.

Louis ends up doing twenty push-ups with Harry under him, the courtesy of Niall. The whole time Harry feels giddy and red-faced as he watches the boy work on him. Adding his own spin to the dare, after the eight push-ups, Louis decides to kiss Harry everytime he goes down. The younger boy, of course, doesn't mind.

The group hangs out at Niall's until eight. That's when Zayn stands up, saying that he has an early morning and that he needs to get going. After bidding their goodbyes, Louis and Harry leave around nine. They walk together to Harry's since neither of them drove and didn't fancy waiting for the bus.

They end up walking the same path as Harry did on the night everything went wrong. When they pass the alley, he steps closer to Louis, squeezing their intertwined fingers tightly. Louis doesn't say a word, he just squeezes his fingers back and kisses his temple. They walk close together for the rest of the way, all the way to Harry's doorstep.

That's when Louis steps back, letting Harry open the door in peace. After the door is open, the couple steps into the warm apartment, making sure that the door was locked. They then proceed taking off their shoes and leaving their jackets on the coat rack. After they're done, Harry turns around and wraps his arms around Louis' neck.

"Do you want a cuppa?" He asks smiling softly as Louis drapes his arms around his waist. He knew by now, after all the conversations they had shared that Louis didn't sleep well without a cup of tea.

"That sounds lovely," Louis softly hums, leaning in to press a soft kiss on Harry's lips. "Do you want to go and get us some blankets while I get it started? I thought that we could cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie or something."

"Do you have something specific on your mind?" Harry asks chasing the boy's lips for another kiss.

Louis hums into the kiss with a soft smile on his features. "Nope," he mumbles against the boy's lips. "I just want to hold you."

"That can be arranged," Harry smiles pulling back from the kiss. "The tea is in the same cupboard as last time and I want the blueberry muffin one. There's Yorkshire for you, don't worry."

"You're the best, you know that right?" Louis says softly, giving him one more kiss. "Now go on, get the blankets," he playfully pushes Harry towards the room.

The younger boy blows him a kiss before he walks toward his bedroom. He walks straight to his bed and gathers the blankets in his arms. He then walks back to the living room and places the blankets onto the couch. "Do we want pillows?"

"Sure love," Louis calls back from the kitchen. Harry could hear the water running and the door of the cupboard being closed.

"Okay," he calls back, before turning around and walking back into his room. He once again gathers the pillows in his arms and walks back into the living room. He spends few minutes making sure everything looked okay, then wandering into the kitchen.

Harry immediately spots Louis over two mugs, pouring some steaming water into them. Something inside his heart melted at the sight of his boyfriend doing something so domestic in his kitchen. He could picture a future with the boy, spending their weekends just like this. Making some tea before cuddling up on the couch and watching films.

Once that image was in his head, it wouldn't go away. "Everything going well in here?" He asks with a playful hum as he leans against the counter. Louis looks up and flashes a smile.

"Everything is perfect," he smiles. "Is everything ready at the living room?"

"Yeah, all we have to do is to choose the movie and cuddle up," Harry answers nodding. "So give me my cuppa so we can get to cuddling."

And that's what they did. Louis handed over the steaming cup of tea while carrying his own. They made their way into the living room and sat down on the couch. Their thighs were pressed together tightly as Harry cuddled up into Louis' space. The older boy didn't even bat an eye, instead, he just smiled and moved his arm around the boy's waist.

What came to the movie, they chose to watch the most cliche movie they could think of. The Titanic. Sure it was a classic as well but also filled with cliches. But it was okay because they were both enjoying themselves. It was warm under the blankets and comforting to feel someone against your body. And before Harry knew it he was dozing off with a romantic movie on the background and the boy he loves next to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I know that this chapter sucked. I know that it's not an excuse but I've been through more in the past two weeks than in the last year combined. It's been bothering me and my way of writing. I'm sorry.
> 
> With the next chapter, I'll try to be more careful. If everything goes like I've planned the next chapter should be fine. 
> 
> If someone wonders why did I post the chapter already when I had two more days until I was supposed to. I would've rewritten the whole thing and still not have been happy with it. And this chapter reminds me of the situation (because I started this when it all happened) and yeah wanted to get rid of it. Sorry for the rant, love you all x
> 
> See you with the next chapter,
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rest in peace Robin, you will be missed :'( <3

Harry was so nervous. After the night of the get together, he had been thinking. He wanted to do something for Louis to show how much he means to him. Baking would be his to go thing to do, but that's exactly why he couldn't do it. He baked for Louis all the time so it wasn't special anymore. So naturally, his mind went to sex. He wasn't necessarily completely ready for sex, but he could do something for him.

After Louis had left the next morning, he had got all his courage and went to the internet. He felt dirty when he typed porn into the google's search field. He picked the first site that came up and started looking. The first two videos he clicked, he stopped watching after five seconds. The shock that came to him, couldn't help but make him wonder, why did Niall say that might bring expectations? Based on what he was seeing, he definitely didn't want that.

He soon noticed that all the videos were meant for straight people. He went back to the google search and wrote gay in front of the previous search word and repeated selecting the first suggestion. This time, he was more careful with choosing the video. He stayed clear of everything that had either too vivid picture as the thumbnail or with aggressive words on the name.

Eventually he comes across with a short video. Harry recognises the word blowjob from the title, and clicks on the video. He immediately notices how the scene was fake. The actors', moves were well rehearsed and thought over. And still it didn't look like the characters knew each other at all. When the actual scene starts, he blushes hard.

His cheeks are red through the whole video. The noises the smaller boy are obscene as he takes the other boy's dick deep in his mouth. It's embarrassing, really, how intently Harry follows the scene. He tries to make mental notes on what the smaller boy was doing that drove the other boy crazy. _Touching the balls,_ Harry thought to himself, _cover the rest with your hand that doesn't fit in your mouth._

When the video was over, there was still one thing that made Harry feel weird inside. Other than actually watching porn for the first time and getting hard from it, he noticed that he was more willing to do the work than being on the recieving side. Bluntly, he would rather suck dick than have his dick sucked. The thought itself made him blush deeper than before. It was quite silly how flushy he was after thinking about it. He could only imagine what would happen when he was actually blowing Louis.

Speaking of the boy, he was supposed to come over in few hours. Three to be exact, Harry notes as he glances at the clock. He had plenty of time to shower, change his sheets and maybe bake something sweet. He had read somewhere that pineapple made cum taste sweeter, so maybe he'd get some of that too.

Harry stands up from the bed and walks to the bathroom. He had a problem to get rid of. So he strips out of his clothes and gets in the shower. He spends his time under the water flow, making sure to clean well all over.

After he is done, he steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around him. He walks to his closet, leaving a small path of wetness as he goes. Harry puts on boxers, a simple white t-shirt and a pair of black skinnies that looked like they were painted on him. He also slips into white socks and wraps a green bandana around his head.

Happy about the look he was sporting, he makes his way to the kitchen. He goes through the cabinets, writing down all the ingredients he would need. He had his mind set on baking some red velvet muffins and doing a chicken pasta for dinner. It was all simple, but he knew that Louis would appreciate it anyways.

When he has the list ready, Harry walks to his door where he puts on his boots. He makes sure to grab his keys before he exits his apartment and heads out to the store. The walk there went by quickly and before he knew it he was standing in the line waiting to pay.

"Hi Haz! It's been a while," a familiar voice greets from behind the register. Harry looks up to meet Ashton's eyes, immediately smiling back to the boy.

"Hi Ashie," Harry smiles brightly as he steps closer. "Yeah it has. How's things going with Luke?" He asks curiously as Ashton checks his groceries.

"Everything is perfect. We're thinking about moving together in summer," Ashton says smiling. "How about you? Have you and Louis gone any further than being just friends?"

"Aw that's great, I'm happy for you guys," Harry smiles genuinely happy for the boy. "How did you know? We're dating actually," he admits sheepishly.

"I knew that you'd get together at some point," Ashton says smiling warmly. He scans few more items before speaking up again, "Louis was so jealous when I met him. He was afraid that I was going to take you away from him."

"But he didn't even have me," Harry says tilting his head. "And he didn't act like he liked me or anything."

Ashton smiles warmly, "You didn't want to see it," he says softly. "The signs were there but you were too scared to believe them."

And Ashton did have a point. Harry had had his fair share of pondering if Louis actually liked him. And every time he had thought that the answer was no. "How are you so perspective?" Harry can't help but ask as Ashton scans the last item.

"I don't know. I guess I recognised myself from the way you acted," Ashton says. "When I first met Luke we were kind of similar. I was head over heels for him and convinced myself that he didn't feel anything toward me. And then one day my friend pointed out how Luke seemed really jealous when he was around and hugged me goodbye. The day after that I confronted him and he admitted that he liked me."

Harry listens to the story closely. It had so many similarities as with his relationship with Louis that it was weird even. "That's kind of cute," he comments because it was true after all.

"I guess so," Ashton hums smiling. He then rings up Harry's total, which Harry pays. "We should meet again, yeah?" He smiles as he gives Harry his recipe.

"Of course," Harry nods eagerly. "Text me?" He suggests smiling. Despite not having to know the boy that long, Harry still liked him. He was comfortable and fun to be around.

"I will," Ashton promises. They bid their goodbyes as the next customer starts to empty their basket.

Harry leaves the store and walks back home fairly quickly as he wanted to make sure everything was perfect by the time Louis came. His apartment was already spotless from the cleaning but it didn't stop Harry from tidying the place a bit more.

Once he is home, he spends the following hour cooking and making sure that everything was at their rightful place. The nerves were slowly building up in his stomach as the time passed by. Louis should be arriving in less than thirty minutes. Those minutes pass by too quickly almost. Surely Harry was excited to see Louis, but also nervous for the obvious reasons.

The knock on the door comes just seconds later when Harry is giving the food the finishing touches. He quickly fixes his hair as he hurries to open the door. Louis was looking handsome as ever behind the door, dressed in black skinnies and a basic white tee. He had a jacket with him, but he was holding it in his hand.

"Hi, love," Louis greets softly, stepping in and placing a soft kiss on Harry's lips. "I missed you."

"Hi," Harry whispers smiling. "I missed you too," he says, before leaning in for another kiss. It was familiar how their lips moved together in sync, Louis controlling the pace. Just like Harry preferred it.

They close the door behind them without pulling back from the kiss. The kiss was slow and sweet, nothing sexual behind it. Just them impressing their happiness to see each other.

"Do I smell food?" Louis asks humming lightly between the light kisses they shared. Harry nods with an agreeing hum as he wraps his arms around Louis' neck. He wasn't done with the kisses yet. "Did you make dessert?" The older boy asks after a moment, playfully pulling back to look at Harry.

Harry pouts slightly, which causes him to get another kiss. "I did. I made red velvet muffins. I hope that you like them," he says softly.

"I can tell even before tasting them that they are wonderful," Louis smiles. "Now let's go eat before the food gets cold, yeah?"

And they do. Harry leads Louis into the kitchen where he makes the older boy sit down while he sets the table. He lights up few candles just for the sake of it and pulls out a bottle of wine. He had gotten it from Gemma a while back. She had said that he'd find a moment to enjoy it. Harry felt like this was the moment. He pulls out glasses for the wine and sets them next to the smaller ones. He then moves the food to the centre of the table and sits down opposite to Louis.

Louis looks over at him with a fond smile as he reaches for the wine bottle. "Feeling romantic today love?" He asks softly as he moves to open the bottle.

"I just wanted to do something special for you. To say thank you for being here for me," Harry says quietly, his voice soft.

"Aw baby, you don't have to do anything for me. I'll be here for you no matter what, okay?" Louis says sweetly, forgetting the bottle for a second as he reaches for Harry's hand over the table. "But thank you. I hope you understand how much I appreciate this," he adds quietly.

Harry bites back the smile threatening to cover his face. "I know," he says equally as quiet. "But I still want to do if for you. I enjoy it."

"I know," Louis says playfully. "And because I enjoy it too, I'm not trying to make you stop. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that I'm not expecting anything like this from you."

"I know," Harry repeats giggling lightly. "And now that we both know it, should we dig into the food?" He asks playfully, squeezing Louis' hand that was on top of his. The older boy flashes a warm smile to him before nodding and giving him a small squeeze himself.

They eat in comfortable silence, once in a while making small talk. It was all really nice and Harry could feel his nerves calming down. Louis makes sure to praise the food multiple times  by the time they were done. They continued onto the dessert soon after Harry had cleaned their plates off the table.

"That was amazing love, just like I knew it was going to be," Louis says after swallowing the last piece of the muffin. "Thank you."

Harry turns around to look at Louis instead of the dishes he finishes up washing. "Your welcome, I'm glad that you liked it," Harry smiles to his boyfriend. "I wanted to try something out... and I need you for it," he clears his throat.

Louis hums, "Okay. What is it love?" He asks softly, smiling encouragingly at the boy. Harry bites his lip and wonders how he would approach the matter. He could come clean and tell him what he wanted to do straight away. He wasn't blunt enough for it though, so it was out of the question.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" Harry asks softly. He knew that he wanted to do it on his bed, so the first step would be to get them into the room. "I'll tell you what it is when we're there."

Louis looks confused for a moment before nodding and standing up from his seat. He takes Harry's hand in his, intertwining their fingers before leading the boy into his room. When they get inside, Harry kicks the door closed behind them. He lets Louis push him against it softly and kisses back when he feels a pair of lips against his.

They kiss against the door for a few minutes, until Harry can feel the familiar feeling of want pooling in his stomach. After one more soft peck against Louis' lips, he pulls back and opens his eyes. Blue meets green and Harry is sure that he knows what he wants.

"Lou," Harry whispers softly, wrapping his arms around Louis' middle. "Can I give you a blowjob?" He asks leaning in and kissing the corner of Louis' lips. He can hear Louis' breath hitch when his mind processes the words.

Louis pulls back from the almost kiss and stares at Harry with blown eyes. "What?" He breathes out airily. "You- what?"

"I want to give you a blowjob," Harry repeats blushing. He wasn't so confident on the second time anymore. "Please Lou? I want to make you feel good, please let me."

Shaking his head Louis pulls Harry closer by his neck and kisses his lips. "Do you think that I could say no when you're basically begging for it?" Louis asks against Harry's lips, pressing them more firmly against the door. Harry whimpers softly in the back of his throat as he kisses back eagerly. He pulls Louis closer by his waist and arches his back to make sure they were fully pressed together. The kiss was filled with lust and passion, driving the two boys crazy.

Harry doesn't know who makes the first move but before he knows it they're on the bed with Louis under him. They are still kissing when he rolls his hips down timidly, earning a soft groan from the older boy.

Louis moves his hands to Harry's waist and pulls back from the kiss. "Are you sure about this? We can stop whenever you feel like it. I won't be mad, I promise."

"I want to," Harry answers panting slightly, moving his hands on top of Louis'. "Please let me," he whispers.

"Okay," Louis nods sitting up and pecking his lips. "Okay. Just let me know if it gets too much."

After nodding and placing one last kiss on Louis' lips, Harry begins. He tries to remember the boy's movements he had seen on the video and copy them as well as possible. He starts with pushing Louis fully on his back that his head was prepped against the pillows. He didn't want him to have a sore neck from this after all. Yes, he was a sweetheart.

He then leans in and kisses the soft and smooth skin on the older boy's neck. Harry softly sucks down onto the crook of Louis' neck, wanting to mark him up, but that was for another time. The sounds Louis makes drives him to move downwards. He kisses his way over Louis' chest to his stomach and all the way to the waistband of his boxers. He's met with Louis' happy trail that is revealed under the ridden shirt.

Harry can't help himself to kiss down the path all the way over Louis' clothed crotch. "Can I take these off?" He asks looking up to the boy while playing with the zipper of Louis' jeans. The older boy responds by biting his lip and nodding his head eagerly.

Due to the tightness of the jeans, it takes Harry few minutes to pull them off. But when he does, he is met with a gorgeous sight. Louis' cock's outline stands out clearly from his tight white boxers. Harry subcountiusly lips his lips before lowering himself down again. He mouthes the tip of the cock through the boxers, remembering seeing the boy on the video do so.

"Oh God," Louis breathes out quietly as he looks down to his boyfriend. "Please don't tease me."

Harry pulls back at that and flashes a light smile. "Sorry," he says softly, kissing down on Louis' stomach while he pulls his boxers down. His eyes widen slightly as Louis' cock is now fully hard and curved up against his stomach. He had seen it before, he knew that it was big but from this close, it seemed huge.

He gulps lightly, wrapping his hand around the girth, slightly squeezing as he moves his hand up and down. Based on the sounds Louis' makes Harry feels like he was doing an okay job so far. Even though he hadn't done anything yet.

Harry put his lips to Louis' tip, kissing him tentatively before pulling away again. Louis moves his hands to Harry's hair in the need to have something to hold on to. It makes Harry lean in again, pressing his tongue flat to the underside of Louis' shaft and slowly licking a stripe upward, twirling it around the head when he reached it.

Louis curses softly, and Harry takes this as an ecouragement. He moves to suck the tip into his mouth, lapping onto the precum dripping from it. He suckles onto the tip eagerly for a moment, at the same time working his hand up and down Louis' shaft. Soon later he takes Louis into his mouth properly, his lips streching around the girth nicely. He takes in the heavy weight on his tongue, finding himself enjoyin it.

"Fuck love, please don't stop," Louis hisses when Harry takes him in deeper. The younger boy hums around his length, sending vibrations along with it. The movement makes Louis tug Harry's hair quite hard, making Harry moan. Harry, eager to please, brings almost the entire length into his mouth, letting his hand cover the part he couldn't fit.

When he starts bobbing his head up and down, he feels his saliva dripping down to his chin. He didn't let this bother him though as Louis' thighs started to shake next to him.

"You have no idea how good you look Haz, God," Louis moans loudly when Harry takes him deeper into his mouth. Not pulling back, Harry turns his eyes to look up at Louis, praising himself for making Louis look so blissed.

Harry brings his hand to cup Louis' balls what causes the older boy buckle his hips up. It causes Harry to choke, so he pulls back coughing. Louis immediately sits up and cups Harry's cheeks. "I'm so sorry love," Louis apologises panting. "We can stop."

"No," Harry shakes his head. His voice was sounding wrecked already. "I want to do it."

Louis examines his face for a moment before leaning in and kissing the boy's lips. "You're doing so well love, I'm already close," he whispers against his lips, making Harry shiver slightly. The younger boy pulls back from the kiss and pushes Louis back onto his back. He then leans in and takes his cock into his mouth again.

Harry moves his free hand to cup Louis' balls again while sinking down his length. He continues bobbing his head up and down, working his hand on the parts that didn't fit. Everytime he felt like he could take more and more in and eventually he could feel Louis' head against his throat.

"Fuck," Louis chokes, trying to pull Harry off. "I'm gonna-"

But Harry doesn't move away. Instead he presses his tongue to Louis' tip again, letting it slip into the slit. Louis' head falls back against the pillow as he comes forcefully into Harry's mouth, moaning the boy's name and tugging at his hair.

Harry does his best at swallowing the come but since it's his first time he ends up pulling away before he chokes. He knew that he didn't look attractive at all in the moment. His eyes were watery and blown wide open. His chin was wet with his spit and Louis' cum and his hair was a mess. And still Louis looked at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Louis looked sated when he gestured Harry to come closer. "Come here," he whispers opening his arms. Harry easily follows, moving to lay on top of Louis' chest. "You're the best Harry. You always seem to surprise me," he whispers to Harry's hear. His breathing was uneven as he still was still coming down his high, not that Harry was any better. "Let me take a moment and return the favour." 

Harry lightly shakes his head. "Can we just nap for a bit?" He asks yawning. His jaw was sore and he felt gross but he was also tired and Louis' chest was so warm. Louis agrees to the suggestion after he has cleaned them up.

After they're all cleaned up, they curl up in the bed, Louis spooning Harry. And just when Harry is about to drift off, he hears Louis whisper something into his hair. Something that sounded awfully like "I love you".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so that happened and I can feel people cringing at my bad attempt at writing smut o_o haha
> 
> I will be travelling for the next two weeks so I don't know if I'm able to update during that time :/. I'll be back on the 10th of July and I'll try to update then. I have a one-shot that I've written a while back and I might publish that before I leave so you'll have something from me (if you'd like to read it. It's bottom Louis though) NO PROMISES THAT I'LL PUBLISH THOUGH! 
> 
> Anyways thank you for your amazing support. Love you x
> 
> http://popcrush.com/exo-vs-one-direction-2017-summer-fan-showdown-semi-final-round/ vote for our boys x
> 
> All the love,
> 
> S x


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I had a "mental breakdown" and cut a bit over 20 cm my hair so about 10 inches lmao
> 
> Also this chapter... Let's just say that I have my rock ready so I can hide under it haha
> 
> Enjoy!

Heartbreak.

Something that leaves a hole inside your heart and makes it feel like you can't keep going on. Something that makes you want to turn back time and start it all over.

That was exactly what Harry was feeling right now.

He had woken up in an empty bed and a quiet house. He had sat up and been confused where Louis was. He couldn't have just left him right?

Harry had stood up and walked out of his bedroom, finding Louis sitting on his couch. He was relieved to see him there, but the feeling was long gone when he looked up. Louis' eyes were sad and looking hurt. Harry immediately wanted to go over him and give him a hug. So he did just that. He walked over to the older boy and got on his knees on the floor.

"Is everything okay?" He had asked, looking up at Louis with worrying eyes. Louis didn't respond at first, he just looked down to his hands. Harry followed his line of sight, his eyes widening as he saw his meds. "Where did you get them?" He had asked quietly.

That's when Louis had spoken. "Why didn't you tell me?" He had asked, looking ready to cry. "Are you afraid that I'd leave you if I found out? Or that I wouldn't support you?"

"It's nothing like that-"

"Then what? Tell me, Harry, because to me it seems like you didn't want me to know about this."

Harry had bit his lip and looked down for a moment. He didn't want to lose Louis- no, he couldn't. Louis made him feel and so, so happy. That wasn't something that came free to Harry.

"I didn't want to worry you," Harry had answered eventually. "I-I know that you wouldn't leave me for it but I didn't want to worry you. I was okay- I am okay. Those just made me feel better when you weren't here-"

"So you had to get them because of me?" And at that moment, Harry had been sure that Louis was going to cry. And it broke his heart.

Harry had quickly shaken his head. "No, Gemma asked her friend to write me the description for them- it was before you."

"But did I make it worse, be honest with me please," Louis had asked- no, more like pleaded.

"Yes," Harry had whispered, his eyes watering up badly. "But you make it better now, you do! Please don't leave me, I need you," he had begged.

Louis had stayed quiet for a moment until speaking up. "I need some time," he had said his voice wavering. "I'm not leaving you, but I need time. I've never meant to hurt you and I did. I'm so sorry Haz, I am."

"No, no no," Harry had said quickly, panic taking over his body. "Don't leave me- I need you."

"I'm not leaving, love. We both need some space I think," Louis had said with a sad smile as he moved to trace Harry's cheeks. "I love you Harry Edward Styles. I couldn't stay away for long."

After that, all that Harry remembers is crying. He remembers how he had started sobbing and how Louis had kissed him goodbye before leaving. Louis didn't seem mad so Harry didn't know if it was final or not. Surely Louis had said that he'd come back, but isn't that what they all say?

When Louis was gone, Harry dragged himself onto the loveseat. He would've gone to his bed but his sheets still smelled like Louis and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to take it.

Harry doesn't know how long it has been since Louis walked away but he snaps back into reality when his stomach grumbles. He wipes his eyes and sits up on the loveseat. His head was aching from the crying and his nose was stuffed. He gets up and walks to his bathroom where he blows his nose.

When his eyes gaze up and he sees his reflection, he feels odd. The person staring back at him didn't look like him at all. His eyes were red-rimmed and watery, his hair was a mess and he looked spent and tired. It was the way he felt on the inside, he realised. He doesn't want to look at himself anymore, so he turns around and walks away.

He goes to the kitchen, stopping in front of his fridge. He was hungry but he didn't feel like eating.

_Maybe he was just lying. He left you because you've gained weight._

Harry quickly covers his ears with his hands as if the voices inside would go away. He didn't believe it, Louis wouldn't leave him for something like that. But then again, he had gained a pound since they started going out.

What if he had gotten fat and not noticed it?

Not being able to take it anymore Harry rushes to the living room and reaches for his meds. He stops for a second as he's about to put them into his mouth. Will he betray Louis if he does it? No, he won't since he's not here to make it better. So without thinking about it more, he swallows the pill dry.

Leaning against the couch, he lets out a long sigh. He knows that takes a while to actually work, but the knowledge of it getting better relaxes him. Harry stays in the living room for a while longer before walking back to the kitchen. He does his best to be quick as he reaches for an apple and takes a bite.

There's nothing wrong with the taste but it still makes him feel nauseous. He suffers through half of the apple before it gets too much. He ditches the fruit to the garbage and moves to put some water boiling. Some tea should calm down his stomach.

Eventually, the water was ready and a few moments later he was back on the couch with his tea. He sips on the drink slowly, his eyes diverted to the wall. He didn't see it exactly, he knew what he was looking at but he didn't register any of it.

He doesn't know how long he has been sitting there when he feels his muscles relax. He had finished off his tea a while ago and was kind of craving for another cup. He had been right about the tea calming down his stomach and mind. And because he was still feeling slightly jittery he decided to have another cup after all.

After his second cup is steaming in his hands he feels the need to call someone. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He was afraid that he'd do something that he would regret and disappoint Louis at the same time. So, he sets his tea down and walks into his room to get his mobile. Once he has it, he walks back to the living room and sits down onto the loveseat, wrapping a blanket around him.

Harry then reaches for his cup and dials the number. He waits patiently, not, for the phone to stop ringing and when it does he feels like crying in relief.

"Hi darling, is everything okay?"

"Yeah mum, I think so," Harry says, so happy to hear his mother's calming and familiar voice. "How're things there? Has Dusty been acting out?"

Anne laughs softly on the other side, "Yeah a bit, but nothing I couldn't handle," she says, the smile clear in her voice. "And things are good here. Do you want to tell me what do you mean by 'I think so'?" She asks softly. She was never the one to push the matter and Harry appreciated it.

"Not at this moment," Harry admits quietly. "I just miss you and I wanted to hear your voice."

"Oh honey, I miss you too. How about I tell you about when me and Gems visited Barbara?" She suggests.

"That would be nice," Harry says and focuses on listening as his mother tells the story. It was a basic story, nothing too exciting but it helped Harry to get his thoughts away from Louis. They ended up talking on the phone for a little more than 20 minutes until Anne had to go. They bid their goodbyes and after he hung up, he felt numb again.

When he checks the clock, it was only a bit over noon. He had the whole day ahead of him. He didn't know what to do so instead of moving or doing anything useful, he stayed seated on the loveseat. And that was how he spent a good part of his day, only getting up to go to the toilet.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he startles awake at the sound of his mobile ringing. Harry wipes his eyes before answering the call without looking at the caller.

"Hello?" He says, sitting up. He is a bit more than a little disappointed when the voice on the other side doesn't belong to Louis.

"Hi Haz," Niall greets him. "Can I come over?"

"Okay," Harry agrees immediately. He didn't want to be alone and the sound of his best friend's company was more than welcomed. "How long will you take before you're here?" He asks.

"I'm on my way actually so less than ten I think," Niall answers humming. Harry didn't know what it was but somehow Niall's voice sounded weird. Like he had something on his mind and he was careful not to let it show.

"Is everything okay?" Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows even though Niall couldn't see him.

"Yeah, I'll see you soon H, I need to focus on the road."

And just like that Niall hung up. Harry frowns as he puts his phone down. He had never hung up on him before. On some level, he understood as the boy was driving but he could've at least said bye or something.

Harry stands up and walks to the kitchen once again. He puts more water to boil and pulls out some of the muffins from the night before. Once again he tries not to think of the reason why he had baked them in the first place and just suck it up. He manages and by the time he is preparing the tea, he hears his doorbell ring.

He makes sure that nothing is in danger to fall before he leaves the kitchen to open the door. Behind it stands Niall, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes on the floor. He looks up when he hears the door opening and flashes a smile. Harry could see right away that it wasn't a real one but he didn't comment on it. Maybe it had something to do with him being there after all.

"Hi," Harry greets his best friend smiling. "Want to come in?" Niall nods and walks inside. Harry closes the door behind him and follows Niall to the kitchen. "Is everything okay? You're acting weird," Harry asks frowning.

"I have something I need to talk to you about," Niall says turning around and sitting down on the counter. He notices the tea cups and muffins and reaches out to take one of each.

"Have I done something?" Harry asks quietly, taking a cup as well. He wasn't feeling the muffins at the moment. "Do you want to go to the living room? The couch is more comfortable, right?"

Niall nods and slides down from the chair. "It's half of what you have done and what you haven't done," he says as if it was a proper answer. "Let's go then," he says and starts making his way out of the room.

Harry once again follows and sits down to the loveseat as Niall takes the couch. He looks down to the cup and stirs the tea to cool it down. He waits for Niall to speak up because he doesn't know what to say. He didn't even know what he had done.

"So," Niall starts eventually, waiting for Harry to look up at him. And when he does, he continues, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asks confused. "What haven't I told you?" His brain starts to tick, trying to work out what he had left out. He thinks and thinks but nothing comes out.

"That you feel like Liam has taken your place. That you're depressed and have medication for it," Niall states softly. "Or that you have cut yourself. Like seriously Harry, why didn't you tell me?"

It felt like Harry's heart had stopped the second time that day. "How do you know about that? Who told you?" He asks with a shaky voice. Of course, he knew who it was. He had only told one person about his problems. But he didn't want to think about the possibility. No, Louis wouldn't do that to me.

"It doesn't matter who told me. I just need to know, why didn't you come to me? I thought that we were best friends," Niall says, sounding really hurt. Harry hadn't even realised that his actions might hurt the blonde.

"You were so happy with Liam... and I didn't want to disturb you," Harry says quietly, looking down to his tea. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know why he hadn't told him. He should be able to talk about stuff like that to his best friend, right? So what was it in the moment that he couldn't talk to Niall?

"Haz, you know that you'll always be my number one priority," Niall says frowning. "It might not look or seem like it, but if you ever need me- no matter how small the thing is, if you feel like you need me, I'll be there I promise. You would never disturb me."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispers, his voice tight. "I just felt so ashamed- I was scared that I'd lose you."

Niall stands up while Harry speaks and walks over to him. He makes the boy scoot over and sits down next to him. "You could never lose me Haz. We're in this together, you and me. And you have nothing to be ashamed about. Millions of people struggle with depression, anxiety to name a few. And they need support- people who care and listen to them. There is always, always someone who will be that person. And I want to be that for you. I thought that you knew that..."

"I feel so bad, I'm sorry," Harry says with watery eyes. "I'm such a bad friend-"

"No. If anything, I am since you didn't feel like you could tell me," Niall cuts in sternly. "Don't beat yourself down Haz. I love you and so does Louis. We're both here for you."

"Louis promised not to tell you if I didn't do it again," Harry says looking up at Niall. "He promised Ni and he still did it. How am I supposed to trust him anymore? It was one promise- one and he couldn't keep it."

"But he did it for you, Harry. He did it because he thought that it'd be best for you. I would've done the same thing if I was him, I think."

Harry looks at Niall like he was the one betraying him. "So you'd break your promise if you thought that it was better for me?" He asks frowning deeply. "Because I wouldn't do that to you. I would at least first tell you that I'm going to do it."

"Would it change anything though?" Niall asks. "Like what difference would it make if he told you that he is going to tell me? You would've been mad or disappointed either way. This way you can't avoid me."

The blonde was right, it didn't matter if he had known before or not. What mattered was that Louis had broken his promise. "Maybe you're right," Harry says after a while. "But still how can I trust him? He went behind my back and told you even though he promised that he wouldn't if I didn't cut again. And I haven't!"

"When Louis called me this morning he was clearly upset. He didn't say what it was but he asked me to make sure that you were alright. I, of course, asked him what was going on and he told me everything. I didn't know what to do at first, but then I snapped out of it and started driving," Niall says. "I couldn't believe that you would do anything like that again- not even in the first place... But can you tell me what happened with Louis? It's clear that both of you are upset about something."

Matter as well tell, right? Harry thinks to himself. "Louis found my medication and was hurt because I hadn't told him about them. I think that he thought that he had something to do with them though I said that he didn't."

"But that's so silly," Niall says frowning. "That can't be all of it. Like you are Louis and Harry. You two don't argue- definitely not over something that stupid."

"It wasn't a fight," Harry defends. "It was more like a conversation that didn't go well."

"Well whatever you call it, you need to fix it," Niall says strictly. "Now that we have that cleared out, how about we have a Harry Potter movie marathon and I'll spend the night? Just like the old times, yeah?"

And seriously, how could Harry say no to that?

__

Harry doesn't know how he ended up here. After Niall left that morning with a promise to come over later. He had done some laundry and wiped the floors. He had something to distract himself so he had no explanation why he was standing on Louis' doorstep.

He was fiddling his fingers, trying to figure out whether to knock or not. After a moment the decision is pretty much clear. He steps closer to the door and knocks on it twice. He then steps back and looks down at his feet as he waits for someone to come and open the door.

It didn't take long for the door handle to start wiggling and for the door to open. When it does, it reveals a smiling Jay behind it. "Hi, Harry! It's so nice to see you again," she says brightly. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she has some stains in her apron and yet she was still really beautiful.

"Hi, Mrs- Jay," Harry says blushing slightly, remembering how she wanted to be called Jay. "Nice to meet you too. Is um, Louis home?" He asks rocking on his feet.

That's when Harry hears the bright laugh which clearly came from Louis. Harry's stomach dropped. Here he was heartbroken over what was happening and Louis was having the time of his life. Or at least that what it sounded like to him.

"Of course," Jay says nodding, turning to look over her shoulder. "Louis! Harry is here!" She yells but the laughing won't stop. She turns back to Harry with an apologetic smile. "Stan is there with him so that's why he doesn't hear me. If you wait a moment, I can go get him?"

Stan. Harry had never heard that name before. Was it Louis' best friend? Neighbour? Lover? Boyfriend? The possibilities were endless and none of them sounded too good for him. He has to fight the tears in his eyes when he shakes his head. It was clear that Louis wasn't upset over this. He had lied or pretended to Niall. "You don't need to do that. He's clearly busy- I can come over later," he says trying to smile but failing. "Thank you, Jay."

"Do you want me to tell him that you came over?" She asks as Harry was already halfway down the stairs. He turns around and shakes his head.

"No thanks," he says just as he hears a faint voice that sounds like Louis.

_"Mum who's at the door?"_

Harry looks at Jay and waves his hand. "Have a nice day," he says before turning around and starting to walk without waiting for her answer. He thinks that he can hear Louis calling his name but he keeps going. The voices were back so there was no guarantee that it was actually Louis.

When he gets home he locks the door and rushes to his bedroom. He yanks the sheets off his bed and puts them in the washing machine. He then opens all the windows in the room, letting the fresh air fill the room. He also wipes the surface of his nightstand and makes sure that there was no garbage in his room.

It takes him a few hours but once he is done, there's five calls and three messages from Louis waiting on his phone. And he ignores all of them. He needed some time to think. He just hoped that the time wouldn't make him lose the love of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks under the rock*
> 
> Are you guys mad? Like it wasn't that bad, right?
> 
> QUESTION: Nike or Adidas? I'm a bit of a slut for Adidas tbh 
> 
> QUESTION 2: Collars, yay or nay? It depends with me
> 
> Anygay, see you with the next chapter! 
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Once again thank you guys for your amazing support and love on this story x Love you guys :)
> 
> Warning: This chapter is not edited due to my personal health situation. Just my luck to catch something while travelling and having to be staying in the hospital. So this chapter is written fully on my phone so there might be some mistakes and I would really appreciate if you guys would point them out for me x I will most likely edit this once I get home, but until I hope you can look past the mistakes
> 
> Anygay, enjoy the chapter !

For a week Harry managed to avoid Louis' calls. After the day two, he was embarrassed for his actions so that was the point when his motive changed. He was even more scared that Louis was going to break up with him now than he was before. He had been so dumb- why hadn't he just picked up the phone? He could only imagine how it looked like to Louis. He seemed so ungrateful and untrusting, which he clearly was. He didn't want to be but apparently, his wants didn't have anything to do with it.

On the other hand, he liked to think that others would have the same problem. Hearing your boyfriend to laugh when you've just taken a break with some _boy_ whose name you had never heard before- it brings some images to your head that is not pretty or wanted.

He made a deal with himself though, which he thought that was a process at itself. The next time Louis calls, he'll answer.

The only problem was that Louis hadn't called today yet. It was already nearing four pm and still no call. Harry was afraid that Louis had given up. If that was the case then he needed to man up and take matters into his own hands. But for now, he would wait for Louis to call.

And while he waited for that, he baked. He had developed a habit of baking whenever he was nervous or anxious. In a matter of hours, he had already baked three batches of muffins, five of cookies and a cake. He had no intention to eat them all, he thought about giving them to his neighbours or something. Maybe even the homeless shelter down the street or for the retirement home.

Some of it would honestly go to Niall since he would somehow just know that he had baked and complain if he didn't get any. And Harry didn't want to chance losing Niall so he'd happily give him some cookies.

At some point, Harry ran out of ingredients to bake so he had to stop. He pouted as he cleaned up after himself though it didn't take long. He moves to lean his elbows against the counter looking around his kitchen. He had already cleaned his flat twice so he had nothing to do. He wasn't hungry so he didn't bother cooking food either.

Niall was visiting his home in Ireland so there was no chance of asking him to hang out. He had tried texting Ashton but the boy was busy moving in with Luke. He didn't feel like hanging out with Zayn, Ed or Liam so he wouldn't push himself to ask them.

Leaving him nothing else to do, he decides to deliver the goods. He estimated that he would take few hours to do it all because he couldn't carry all the sweets at the same time.

Harry starts with his neighbours, giving ten to each of those who answered their doors. He got smiley faces and bright thank you's when he gave the sweets over and walked away with a wave. He was surprised to notice how few neighbours he actually had. He had thought until today that he had so much more. Something new to learn every day apparently.

After he was done with his rounds in his building, he made his way back to his apartment and got the rest of the sweets. Carrying the muffins, he makes his way down the street and toward the retirement home.

He was greeted with bright smiles and pats on the back, even some hugs from the elderly ladies. He spent few hours talking to them until he was directed to leave due the evening snack time. He bit his goodbyes and promised to visit soon with more muffins since the elderly people were really nice and he enjoyed bringing joy to them.

After he left the retirement home he walked back home to get rest of the muffins. He walks up the stairs to his apartment, stopping on his tracks when he sees the figure standing in front of his door. Or well, leaning against it looks more like it, since his forehead is pressed against the wood as well as his palms, despite the flowers that cover his right hand.

"Please Harry just open the door," Louis says sounding tired and defeated. "Please. I'm not leaving until you let me see you. Just let me see you, baby, I need to know that you're okay-"

"And that I have not cut myself?" Harry asks making Louis snap his head back in the matter of nanoseconds. He turns around to face Harry fully and that's when the younger boy sees the bags under his eyes. They didn't look much better from his either.

"You- I thought that you were home," Louis says clearing his throat. "Um... how long have you been standing there?" He asks sounding slightly embarrassed as he looks down to his feet.

"I was delivering muffins to the retirement home. I just came back to get the rest of them go to the homeless shelter down the street," Harry explains. "And no, I just got here."

Louis seems to be relieved hearing the words and nods lightly. "Okay good, um. I came to talk to you and um- can we do that? Please- I know that you've been ignoring my calls and texts but I need to talk to you."

"Yeah I have something I need to tell you too," Harry says nodding. He continues quickly as Louis goes to talk, "But first I need to deliver the muffins. You can come with me if you want to or stay here and wait."

"I'll come with you if that's okay," Louis says quickly nodding. "I've missed you," he says.

"Missed you too," Harry admits as he walks to the door, pulling out his keys. There was no reason to lie- he was going to apologise at the end of the night anyway. If he had listened carefully he would've heard the relieved sigh that escaped Louis' lips.

As the door opens, Harry doesn't need to check if Louis is following him as he steps inside. He walks straight into the kitchen and grabs the large tray that held the muffins. He takes two off of it after a second thought so he would have something to offer to Louis. When he's done, he turns around and walks past Louis and back out of the door. He hears the door close behind him, knowing immediately that it was Louis who closed it.

While they make their way downstairs, Harry wonders if he was being rude. He hadn't said anything mean or anything like that but he hadn't made any small talk. Was that considered mean? Like Louis hadn't said a word but then again he thought that Harry was mad at him. And even Harry didn't know if that was true or not.

The walk was awkwardly silent all the way to the homeless shelter- talk about comfortable silence being so overrated. When they arrive, Louis steps back and lets Harry walk in first. The younger boy mumbles a soft thank you before entering the building.

They are met with around twelve people who are all dressed in similar clothing, ill fitting and dirty. And yet they all seemed to have a smile on their face as they saw the two boys.

"Hi," Harry says when the door closes behind them. "Um my name is Harry and this is Louis and we brought you some muffins," he says while holding the tray up. It's silent for a while until one of the women sitting by a table with few others drops her game cards on to the table and stands up.

The two boys watch quietly as she approaches them with her facial features schooled into stony. It's only when she stops a foot away from them when she smiles warmly. "That's a really nice thing to do," she says grinning. Her teeth were yellow from the lack of washing, but Harry pretends not to notice. It wasn't his place to judge.

Harry smiles at her and gives the tray forward. "There are about thirty muffins in here so you don't have to worry about sharing," he says not knowing how else to answer. "And um, yeah."

The woman chuckles lightly as she takes the tray away from Harry and glances at Louis who was standing behind him, his eyes trained on the floor. "Your boyfriend is a shy one, isn't he?" She says to him playfully, making Louis look up at her.

Louis seems to be a bit lost of what to say but manages to pull himself together. "He is but he has the biggest heart around so I think that it's all okay," he says with a soft tone. "I'm lucky to have him," he adds as an afterthought, his eyes looking straight to Harry. It was almost like he was hopeful that the younger boy wouldn't shake his head and say that they weren't together anymore.

And to Louis pleasure, he didn't.

"I'm right here, you know?" Harry says, going for a playful tone though failing. The woman and few of the people around who were listening to the conversation laughed at it despite it all.

"I know," Louis says smiling lightly. "I hope that it's okay if we go? I have some apologising to do and I'd rather start sooner than later," he says directing his words to the people around them.

"Don't be rude," Harry says glancing at the boy. "It's no trouble, we can stay longer-"

"You can go ahead darling, I'm sure that you want to hear his apology," another woman from one of the tables cuts in. "Thank you for the muffins. If you ever feel like bringing some more, you know where to find us."

After sharing just a few more words with the people at the homeless shelter, Harry and Louis walk back to Harry's apartment. Once again the journey was silent but this time it could be sensed that the reason behind the silence was that the both of them were nervous. Meanwhile, Harry was thinking about words he would say to Louis to make him understand his feelings better, he didn't know what the other boy was thinking about.

Eventually, they arrive back to Harry's apartment, closing the door behind them after making sure that it was locked. They stand next to each other in the front hall as they slip off their shoes. Harry glances at Louis, noticing the boy already looking back at him. He can't help but blush slightly and turn his eyes down to his feet.

"Do you want tea?" Harry asks quietly. Tea seemed to be the right thing to suggest, it helped after all.

"Yes please," Louis answers softly, nodding his head to prove a point further.

Harry glances at him once more before walking to the kitchen. He doesn't know what about the steps behind him make him feel relieved. Maybe it was because Louis following him meant that he wasn't letting go of their relationship. Or at least it was what he hoped.

Brewing the tea didn't take long at all and soon enough Harry picked the two mugs and turned around. Louis was leaning against the counter, the flowers peeking from behind him. He hadn't noticed them before, but now when he did, he noticed how they were really beautiful. His favourite ones, Daisies.

"Can you take these to the living room? I'd like to put the Daisies to water," Harry asks holding out the mugs for Louis who looks up again. "They're really beautiful, thank you."

"Of course," Louis says softly. He steps forward to get the mugs, looking straight at Harry while he does so. "And you're welcome," he says smiling lightly before disappearing into the living room.

Harry looks after Louis as long as he can and once he is gone, he moves to put the flowers away. He rummages through his cabinets until he finds a tall glass vase that is fit for the Daisies. He fills the vase with water and places the flowers into it, then moving it to the centre of the kitchen counter. Once he is happy how it's placed, he breathes in and walks to the living room.

Louis was sitting in the same spot as he was on the morning when everything went wrong. Only this time he was holding a cup of tea instead of Harry's medication. He sees his own mug on the coffee table which was pulled closer to the loveseat. Louis apparently thought that Harry wanted to sit on there. And well, he wasn't wrong.

He goes to sit down after picking the mug, making sure that he was wrapped in a blanket and that he could see the boy clearly. He blows his tea and takes a small sip before clearing his throat. "So," he hums quietly. "Um yeah, talking?"

"Yeah talking," Louis nods clearly amused over Harry's choice of wording. "Do you want to go first or should I?" He asks biting his lip.

"You can," Harry says while fiddling with his fingers. He takes another sip to calm his nerves and pays his attention to Louis who was taking a slow breath in before talking.

"So um... First off I want to say that Stan is just a friend, I've known him for like fifteen years. And he's straight um, and-"

"How did you-"

"Know? My mum told me that you came over and looked sad when she said Stan's name," Louis explains looking down to his mug. "I love you, Harry, I wouldn't do that to you," he says before clearing his throat. "Sorry back to the explanation... So like I said when I found your meds I felt- I felt so lost. Like you had never mentioned to me that you needed them, you know? I mean you had told me about your feelings but not about this... so I guess I automatically assumed that it was because of me since you hadn't talked to me about it."

"But why you told Niall about it? You promised me that you wouldn't do it and you still didn't," Harry can't help but ask. "You broke my trust."

"I know, I'm so sorry. I was just so worried about you and felt so stupid for leaving you a-and I needed someone to look after you. I know that Niall is your best friend, I know that he knows how to be with you," Louis says quietly, looking ashamed. "Trust me, I never wanted to hurt you."

Harry frowns slightly and looks down to his mug as well. "I'm just hurt that you did that. I trusted you," he says quietly.

"I know baby, I'm so sorry," Louis whispers. "But please don't leave me. I need you- I love you, Harry, so so much."

That's when Harry breaks and starts to ramble. He spits out every feeling he's had in the past couple of months, every word he has been too afraid to say out loud. He talks and talks and Louis sits there, quietly, taking everything in. He keeps going, even after he feels like he's running out of breath, he just keeps going. He can't help it, it feels so good to let it all out.

And when he's done, he doesn't even notice how his eyes are watery and how he's gasping for air. Louis notices this though and stands up and moves to take the mug away from Harry. He sets it down onto the table before pulling the boy into his arms. Harry goes into the embrace easily, the tears spilling. But they were happy tears, he was so happy to be back in Louis' arms.

"I missed you so much," Harry says into the crook of Louis' neck. He feels Louis' arms tighten around him making his sigh contently.

"I missed you too," Louis says kissing Harry's temple. "I love you, Harry, I love you so much," he says softly. "Please forgive me? Let me make it up to you."

Harry pulls back from the embrace and looks at Louis' eyes. He searches for the answers in them before nodding. "I forgive you. I missed you too much- I can't do this without you," he says his voice thick with emotion.

Louis' eyes water slightly as well as he leans in and kisses his lips softly. Harry doesn't need to think twice before kissing back, letting all his worries drain away with every single touch against his lips and skin. Their lips move in sync, sharing unspoken promises between them that everything will be okay. It's all sweet and loving and yet, there is a hint of something more in there.

Harry doesn't know who makes the first move but before he knows it, his back is against of the armrest of the loveseat and Louis is hovering over him. They are still kissing rather sweetly, just a smidge of something more there. He tilts his head to the side as their kiss deepens, trailing his hands to Louis' back, slipping them under his shirt. The skin feels warm against his palms as he pulls the boy closer, parting his legs letting Louis get comfortable between them.

He giggles lightly as Louis moves his fingers up and down his side, the touch tickling. "You're so beautiful," Louis whispers against Harry's lips.

"I love you so much," Harry responds pulling away to look at him. "Can we- I want you to- can we?" He stumbles over his words nervously.

"What baby?" Louis asks softly, pecking his lips lightly. "Don't be nervous, you can ask me anything," he smiles warmly.

"Can we have s-sex?" Harry whispers blushing hard, looking down to his chest, embarrassed to look at Louis. He was ready to do it and he wanted to do it with Louis. Louis who he trusted with all his heart and was the only person who he wanted to close with.

"Are you sure?" Louis asks softly, moving his hand under Harry's chin and tilting it upward making their eyes meet. "Because if you are, I would love more than to do that. But baby I need you to be sure," he says smiling.

"I am," Harry says nodding eagerly. "Can we? I-I just want you, I'm sure."

Louis nods lightly before leaning in and kissing the boy under him softly. Harry moves his fingers to the boy's hair, pulling him closer to him. They move in sync, the younger boy falling lax against the couch and letting Louis trace every curve of his body. At some point, their shirts are coming off and the kisses become deeper, more meaningful.

They make out for what feels like hours before Louis pulls away with his lips red and swollen. Not that Harry was any better. "Can you stay here for a minute? I want to do something," Louis asks between soft pecks.

Harry nods little hazily, his head still not wrapping around what was happening. His body seemed to know what to do though so he wasn't too worried. He watches as Louis stands up and after a soft kiss he walks out of the room. He hears noises coming from the kitchen, making him furrow his eyebrows. What was he doing?

Seconds turn into minutes and after what feels like forever Louis comes back. He holds his hand out for Harry, who takes it easily. They walk toward Harry's bedroom hand in hand, Louis leading them forward. When they get to the door, Louis stops and turns around with a smile.

"Can I cover your eyes? I want to see your face when you see it," Louis says softly, happiness clear in his eyes.

"See what?" Harry asks curiously as he lets Louis step behind him. "Oh yeah the surprise," he blushes, the words sinking in. "Never mind."

Louis chuckles softly as he moves his hands over Harry's eyes and nudges the door open. "Watch your step," he says quietly as they step inside. He leads Harry to the centre of the room, making Harry promise to keep his eyes closed before letting go. He walks around him and stops in front of him. "You can open your eyes now love."

Harry does what he's directed, gasping as he takes in the sight in front of him. Louis had taken few of the daisies and shattered some of the petals on the bed. He had also lit candles, creating a soft and romantic feel to the room. He turns his attention back to Louis and basically jumps into his arms. "It's beautiful," he whispers.

"Not as beautiful as you baby," Louis smiles hugging him back. They stay like that for a while before they pull back and just look at each other. A week apart felt so long to them so they took a moment to just breathe each other in.

Harry doesn't know who does the first move but soon enough they are kissing and making their way to the bed. He ends up on his back, Louis on top of him again. He wraps his legs around Louis' waist as the boy pins him down. Louis grinds their crotches together repeatedly, making Harry chase after the kisses and the friction.

"I love you so much," Louis says against Harry's lips, bumping their noses together. "Can I take off your pants? You can say no baby, I won't mind."

"You can," Harry answers softly. "I want you."

Louis removes Harry's clothes one by one, taking his time to make sure that the younger boy was comfortable. After he has Harry naked he smiles softly down at him before taking his turn undressing. Eventually, they are naked, skin against skin, curious hands memorising every part of each other's bodies. Their kisses are passionate but loving, not trying to be anything that they wouldn't want it to be.

"Do you have lube? Condoms?" Louis asks pulling away and moving his weight on his elbows. Harry couldn't exactly point out the look in the boy's eyes but the closest thing he could think was love and admiration.

"Yeah under my bed," Harry says softly and looks to the side of the bed. He would've put them on his night stand, but it didn't hold a drawer in it so he couldn't. Also, it seemed like a such a cliche so he hid them under the bed.

Leaving another peck on his lips, Louis moves off the bed only to return a few seconds later holding the lube and condoms. Louis' features are soft as he places himself back on top of him, placing the things next to him onto the bed. They continue kissing some more before Harry nudges him toward the supplies.

Harry bites his lip as he watches Louis open up the brand new bottle of lube and pour some on his fingers. "You're still sure of this?" Louis asks gently as he settles back between his legs. He brings his fingers to circle against Harry's rim, not making a move to get further.

"Hundred percent," Harry smiles moving his hands to cup Louis' face. "I love you."

"I love you more," Louis smiles back as he pushes the first finger past the rim. Harry gasps from the intrusion. It didn't hurt per say, it just felt weird and slightly uncomfortable. He pulls Louis down and kisses his lips, losing himself into the kiss.

Louis moves his finger in and out slowly, making sure that the boy was comfortable and relaxed. He runs his free hand up and down Harry's side, coaxing his body to give into the feeling. He slowly adds another after Harry's request, making sure to add lube on his fingers before pushing them back in. Harry lets out a sound of discomfort, making Louis circle his free hand over his cock.

Harry gasps as Louis wraps his hand around his hard cock and gives it a few lazy strokes. He whimpers as he feels Louis scissor his fingers, the stretch feeling greater than before. He reaches for Louis, pulling him down for another kiss breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo, helping him to relax further. When he has three fingers working him open and Louis' hand slowly stroking his cock he feels ready.

"I'm ready," Harry whispers after pulling back from the kiss. He thumbs the space behind Louis' ear as he looks up to his blue eyes.

"Okay love," Louis nods, pulling his fingers out and reaching for the condom. He makes a quick work of putting it on and lubing himself before settling back in between Harry's parted legs. He keeps his other hand on the younger boy's waist and uses the other to guide his cock against Harry's rim.

Harry tightens his hold around Louis' neck as the boy pushes in. It's way more overwhelming to feel Louis' cock inside of him in contrast to his fingers. He wraps his legs around Louis' waist and locks his ankles together. Once Louis is bottomed out, Harry lets out a shaky breath and pulls their foreheads together. He could feel Louis breathing unsteadily as well, reminding him that he was just as nervous and overwhelmed as he was. The stretch was uncomfortable and the slightest painful, but nothing that he had imagined it to be.

"I love you," Louis reminds him as they lay there, waiting for Harry to give him the go. He draws small and light patterns into the boy's skin, once again helping him to relax.

"I love you," Harry answers smiling softly. "You can move, I'm good," he whispers pulling back to look at the boy into his eyes.

Louis nods lightly as if to himself before pulling back an inch or two and then pushing back in. Harry's breath hitches his throat and his pupils dilate as Louis bottoms out again. He settles into a slow rhythm, his thrusts steady but shallow as if he was afraid he would break Harry. Harry doesn't mind though as his body slowly but surely relaxes fully, letting the pleasure shoot up his body.

He gasps softly as Louis pushes into him at an angle that hits something inside of him. The pleasure is even greater than before, making his head fall back against his pillow and his hold loosen around Louis. The older boy takes this as a sign to pull out more before pushing back in, simultaneously picking up his pace.

The bed squeaks under them as Louis thrusts into him, trying to find the perfect angle to hit his prostate repeatedly. The sound of skin colliding with skin fills the room, accompanied by their heavy breaths and occasional moans. It struck Harry how different it was from porn. There was no slut-shaming or dirty talk, Louis didn't spank him or choke him. There was nothing extreme, just two young boys discovering each other in the most intimate way.

Heat starts to pool in Harry's stomach after a while, the thrusts more often than not hitting his prostate spot on. There was sheer layer sweat on his skin and he could spot some droplets forming on Louis' upper lip. Both of their hair was glued to their foreheads mattified with the light sweat. And despite the fact that Louis was out of breath, his eyes unfocused and him being sweaty, he had never looked better to Harry.

"I'm close," Harry tells Louis, trailing his hands to cup Louis' cheeks.

"Me too," Louis whispers, keeping up with the rhythm of his thrusts as he lowers his hand back to Harry's cock, wrapping his fingers around him. He starts to pump it to the pace of his thrusts, completely knocking the wind out of Harry.

The boy couldn't form any other words than Louis' name anymore, the pleasure of being fucked and the hand on his cock better than anything he had experienced. The overwhelming amount of pleasure is what finally pushes Harry off the edge. He comes all over himself with a low sound that is a mix between a whimper and a moan. Louis' thrusts get sloppy and when Harry clenches down around him, he comes with a moan of the boy's name.

They lay there on the bed catching their breaths. Louis' head is pressed against Harry's neck while the younger boy lazily kisses his shoulder, due to it being the only spot he could reach. It takes a moment or two before Louis gets down from his high and pulls out carefully not to hurt Harry. It still makes Harry wince though at the sudden emptiness he feels. He waits for Louis to tie the condom and throw it away before holding out his arms for him as an invite to come and cuddle.

Louis is happy to comply, coming back and pulling Harry close to his chest. Harry nuzzles his cheek against Louis' chest, listening to his heartbeat contently. He smiles to himself as Louis takes his hand in his and intertwines their fingers before bringing their joined hands to his mouth. He kisses the back of Harry's hand softly while lightly tracing his knuckles with his other hand.

"I love you, Harry Styles. Thank you for forgiving me," Louis whispers after a while, looking down to the boy on his chest.

Harry tilts his head and smiles lovingly at Louis. "I love you more Louis Tomlinson. Thank you for coming for me."

They share a soft kiss and silently agree that it was the time for cuddles and the cleaning up could wait. And it does take them a while to get to that point as they fall asleep peacefully, safe in each other's arms. And for that moment everything was absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> All the love, 
> 
> S x


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously struggled with this one

The next two months were perfect. Harry and Louis were basically living in each other's pockets. There was no fighting apart from the bickering that happened daily. And the bickering couldn't even count as fighting as it was completely heatless and made them seem more like an old married couple. Not that they didn't act on it more than that also. Whenever they were eating dinner or lunch, they focused more on stealing food from each other's plates than eating from their own. But it was all good as Harry did it anyways and Louis thought that the food tasted better from someone else's plate.

Niall had been happy to hear how they had figured it all out- right after giving Louis a long speech how he would break some bones if he treated Harry badly. Louis had played along with the scared role though laughing softly when Niall had hugged him afterwards.

Things were going so well between them that Harry had cleared few of his drawers for Louis' things and bought a toothbrush for him. It was so domestic to have Louis' toothbrush in the same glass as his, blue next to green that it made the boy giddy. All his life he had dreamed of having someone to share his living space with, and this was the first step toward it.

The only thing shadowing the calm and lovely time was Harry's occasional episodes when it all got a bit too much. At these times Louis stayed close, holding him in his arms and running his hands up and down his body. He made sure that Harry took his medicine and assured him that he didn't mind that Harry was perfect the way he was. The episodes weren't so bad when Louis was around.

Since they had been together for a while now, it was time to meet the family. Harry had already met Jay when he had spent the night at Louis so it was Louis' turn to meet Harry's family. Harry was, of course, nervous to introduce him to his family, not because he was ashamed of Louis or the family, but because it would make it so much more real. Though it didn't make him any less excited.

At the moment they are sitting on a train, heading towards the Holmes Chapel. Harry was leaning his head against Louis' shoulder, looking out of the window the passing scenery. Louis was running his fingers through his hair and softly humming under his breath. Harry loved the soft sound, always keeping as quiet as possible when Louis was either singing or humming, afraid that if he made a sound he would stop.

"Are you nervous?" Harry asks at one point as he starts to recognise the scenery. "You know about meeting my family?"

"Should I be?" Louis chuckles, his fingers stopping for a moment as he looks down at him.

"That wasn't an answer," Harry points out before capturing his bottom lip between his teeth. He was slightly nervous as he hadn't brought anyone home before. He knew that his mother would absolutely love Louis and that they would get along perfectly with Robin and Gemma. So he wasn't afraid of awkward silences or Louis and his family not getting along. He was nervous to take the step. It would make everything more real and serious. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't afraid of it for himself. He just didn't want Louis to freak out over it.

"No, surprisingly I'm not," Louis says after a moment and continues to play with his hair. "I mean it's your family, right? They can't be bad because you're so perfect," he says in a playful tone, leaning down to kiss Harry's forehead softly. "Are you?"

"No," Harry shakes his head lightly. "I know that mum will love you as well as Gems and Robin. You've met her before so," he says referring to Gemma.

"I have a surprise for you when we get back home," Louis says smiling. He chuckles as Harry sits up and looks at him with wide eyes.

"What?" Harry asks biting his lip to hold back the grin. He loved surprises and Louis knew him so he believed that it would be a good one. "Can you please give me a clue what it is?" He asks giddily.

Louis chuckles and shakes his head. "Sorry love, I want to see your genuine reaction to it. Why spoil?"

Harry pouts, tutting his bottom lip as much as he could, trying to make Louis tell him. His mind wandered to the last time Louis had decided to surprise him. It was two weeks after they had made love. Louis had been waiting for Harry to come home from school, pulling him into the bedroom when he eventually did. That day Louis had rimmed him for the first time. Harry's cheeks reddened as his mind filled with memories of the day. How Louis had parted his cheeks and licked him in the most pleasurable way. He had managed to come untouched, which he didn't think that was possible.

But this time he had a feeling that the surprise didn't have anything about sex. It could be, but he had a feeling that it wasn't the case. "I hate you," Harry says, still pouting as he crosses his arms on his chest.

"Oh love," Louis says softly, pulling the younger boy under his arm. "You'll love it, I promise you."

"I better," Harry mumbles as he nuzzles his nose to the crook of Louis' neck and sighs contently. "I love you."

"I know, I love you too baby," Louis smiles.

The train pulled into the station in fifteen minutes. Louis and Harry stand up when it stops completely and reach for their bags that they had put in the compartment over the seats. They link their hands as they walk outside to the platform. Harry lets his eyes wander around in the search of Anne. She had promised to pick them up so they wouldn't have to take the bus. He was really happy to be back, even more so because now Louis would see the place he grew up in.

All the traces of being nervous had disappeared by the time Harry spots his mother standing under the information board. Harry waves his free hand eagerly at her, grinning as their eyes meet and she waves back. He holds onto Louis' hand tightly as he starts to make his way toward her. They dodge the people on their way and when they finally reach her, Harry lets go of Louis' hand and hugs his mother tightly.

"I missed you, sweetie," Anne says softly into Harry's neck where she had placed it.

"I missed you too mum," Harry hums, letting her pull back to greet Louis.

Anne steps away from Harry and pulls the other boy into a tight hug. "Sorry I'm a hugger," she chuckles as she pulls away from the embrace to look at Louis properly. "It's nice to meet you, Louis. I'm Anne, Harry's mother if that wasn't clear," she says jokingly. "I've heard so much about you."

"All good things I hope," Louis chuckles easily. "And that's okay, my mum is a hugger too, so I'm used to it," he says smiling. "It's nice to meet you as well Mrs Twist, Harry has spoken so highly of you."

"Please call me Anne, we're family after all," Anne says smiling as she steps back. "Now let's get going, Robin is grilling so the food should be ready when we're there."

"Sounds great," Louis smiles, reaching to grab Harry's hand and intertwining their fingers.

Harry doesn't miss the way his mother's eyes linger at their hands and how a bright smile covers her face. He smiles back at her before they make their way to the car. They filled the ride with small talk, talking about their train ride and how Barbara wanted to meet Louis. The boy looked understandably confused as Harry had never mentioned her to him. Louis didn't ask about her though, he just nodded and hummed, "Great."

The ride wasn't long at all and ten or so minutes later they pull up to the house. Harry smiles brightly as they get out of the car, closing the doors behind them. He walks around the vehicle and stops in front of Louis. "Here we are," he murmurs softly as he takes the hand Louis was holding out for him.

"It reminds me of my old house back in Donny," Louis says humming as he once again intertwines their fingers. "Shall we go in?" He asks as he looks away from the house and at the younger boy.

"Yeah," Harry nods, leading Louis inside the house. He noticed how Anne had already gone inside and just left the door open for them. They enter the house and close the door behind them. Harry watches as Louis looks around the house, smiling to himself whenever Louis' eyes crinkle from happiness.

Harry nudges Louis arm and nods toward the kitchen where he could hear Gemma's voice. Wordlessly they agree that they're going to say hi, so that's what they do. They walk to the kitchen, letting go of the other's hand as Harry is attacked by Gemma and her hugs.

"I missed you baby bro," Gemma mumbles against Harry's shoulder. She was usually never the one to express her emotions, so the words were not only rare but genuine as well.

"I missed you too Gems," Harry answers smiling. He holds back a laugh as she basically pushes him off of her and looks him from head to toes with a concentrated look on her face. "What are you doing?" He can't help but ask chuckling.

"Just making sure that you're actually my brother and not some robot. I can't remember when was the last time I've seen you smile this much and looked this healthy," she says and instead of looking at Harry he turns to Louis. "You better keep doing this because now that I've seen him like this, I'm not letting go. So don't fuck it up Tomlinson," she mumbles while pointing a finger at Louis.

"I wouldn't dare to do it. His smile is my favourite thing after all," Louis smiles, giving Harry the heart eyes before getting his own attack by Gemma. Harry watches the two fondly and thinks how lucky he was.

_

"My family loved you," Harry says smiling as they walk down the street hand in hand. It was a bit over nine pm and they were making their way toward Harry's apartment. It was true, Harry's family had absolutely loved Louis just like he had predicted. The dinner had been filled with smiles and laughter as Louis had told about his childhood and about the life with six siblings. Anne had never stopped smiling and didn't have any trouble with coming up with different questions. From how they had met and what he wanted from his life in the future.

Even Harry and Louis hadn't talked about everything that Anne had asked him. It was odd to hear how similar things they actually wanted. Every time Louis would answer a question in a similar way that Harry would, the younger boy couldn't help but feel giddy with excitement. And it hadn't gone unnoticed by Louis either. He had flashed a smile every time he had caught Harry from grinning, which was quite often.

"I loved them, they were really lovely," Louis says while bringing their joined hands to his lips and kissing the back of Harry's hand. "I think that your mum is already planning the wedding and coming up different themes for the nursery," he chuckles.

Harry blushes and hides his face to the boy's shoulder. "Please don't, I know that she's excited. She loves it that I've found someone I love," and it was true. When he had had a moment alone with her, she had immediately asked if he was in love. He hadn't hesitated at all before answering that yes, he loved Louis. She had almost cried at that as she pulled him in for a hug. That's how Gemma and Louis had found them, Anne in tears and Harry hugging him tightly. No questions were asked.

"Aw baby, don't worry I'm sure that my mum has done the same. They would love each other I reckon," Louis says humming, as he kisses his temple.

One other thing that had become a thing after they got back together was that they were always touching on some level. Whether it was holding hands, a hand on the other's waist, back or even toes under the other's thigh as they were sitting on the couch- it didn't matter they felt the need to touch.

"We should definitely have them meet," Harry says looking up to the boy. "Like think about how cool it'd be if they got along."

"They would, I have no doubts about that," Louis says humming. "I think that Gems likes me as well."

"She does," Harry says honestly. "Didn't you hear her? You're the reason I'm so happy, she has no other options than to love you."

Louis smile softens visibly and the emotion behind his eyes is so fond. "You make me happy too baby," he says softly. "Are you excited about your surprise?" He asks. Harry has to admit that he had forgotten about the thing already. He was busy being happy with Louis and gushing how much his family loved him.

Harry nods eagerly though. Now that he was reminded of it, he was indeed excited. "Yup! Are you sure that you don't want to give me a clue? Just a tiny one?" He asks giving the boy his best puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry love, I won't," Louis says chuckling softly. "We're almost home, you'll see."

Harry brightened at that, starting to walk faster which caused Louis to chuckle at him fondly. He didn't say anything, just let the younger boy pull him along. They made it back to the apartment in ten minutes despite the journey taking twenty minutes usually. Yeah, Harry was excited. In fact, he was so excited that he drops his keys twice before finally getting the door open. He rushes inside, looking around to see if the surprise was on display.

When he didn't see anything new or out of place, he turned around with furrowed eyebrows and looked at Louis. "Where is it?" He asks before biting his lip.

"Take off your shoes love, then I'll show you, okay?" Louis says while taking off his own shoes and shaking his jacket off his shoulders.

Louis didn't have to tell him twice. Harry quickly toes off his shoes and takes off his jacket, hanging it on the coat hanger. He then turns to Louis and bounces slightly on his feet. "Show me- gimme," he says making grabby hands toward his boyfriend. He might be eighteen but he was still a child by heart- at least sometimes.

"Okay, take my hand and close your eyes," Louis requests softly, holding out his hand for the boy to take. Harry does what he's asked and closes his eyes once he feels Louis' palm against his. He smiles lightly to what he thinks is Louis' direction and falls into the step easily as Louis starts to lead him.

He likes to think that he knows his apartment pretty well so when Louis opens a door, he is pretty certain that it's his bedroom. His thoughts of sex fly out of the window as he hears some ruffling by his bed. "Lou?" Harry hums softly, his eyebrows drawn together. "Can I open my eyes?" He asks.

"Not yet, love," Louis responds before turning him around and pushing him down until Harry's sitting on the edge of the bed.

Harry jumps as he feels Louis place something on his lap. "Now you can open your eyes." He doesn't let Louis finish off his sentence before he opens his eyes and looks down to his lap. He is met with a pair of big green eyes that belonged to a small and fluffy kitten. The kitten had its paw in its mouth as he looked up at the boy. A coo escapes Harry's mouth as he cradles the tiny thing.

"He's so cute!" Harry says with an awed pout on his lips as he looks down at the kitten. "Where did you get him? Whose is he?" He asks.

The bed dibs down as Louis sits next to him. "He's all yours love. I got him from the rescue shelter. I thought that I had to get you something as congratulations."

"You got me a kitten? I love you so much- wait. Why would you need to congratulate me?" Harry asks confused.

Louis bites his lip to hold back a smile. "Because you got in. You're starting in Cambridge next fall, you made it baby."

"I got in?" Harry asks his eyes widening as he stares at Louis. He flashes a bright smile as the boy nods and pulls him into a hug. He's careful not to drop his baby as he easily falls into the touch. "You got us a kitten because I got into uni?"

It was like a dream come true. He got into his dream university and he had a boyfriend who he loved dearly. He had come a long way in a year and he was really proud of himself.

"Like I said, I needed to get something for my love," Louis says softly as he kisses Harry's temple. "I love you so much Harry and now we can love our little kitten together."

"Like a family," Harry breathes in awe, pulling the kitten against his chest. The kitten purrs as he pushes his tiny head to the crook of Harry's neck and paws his sweater. "I love you so much," he says to the kitten just as much as he says it to Louis.

"Like a family," Louis confirms with a whisper. "What shall we call our baby boy?" He asks while bringing his hand to the kitten's head and softly pets his fur.

"I don't know why but he looks like Mittens to me," Harry says blushing slightly. "I know that it's odd that I'm thinking about a piece of clothing but-"

"Mitten sounds perfect love," Louis says softly. "How about we spend the night with him and see if we think that he's a Mittens tomorrow as well?" He suggests.

"Yeah sounds like a plan," Harry says nodding. He then looks down at the kitten again, pulling it lightly away from his neck and cooes as he yawns.  "Aw is our baby tired?" He cooes.

Louis stands up from the bed and nudges Harry's side softly. "C'mon let's put him to his bed and go to sleep. We have the whole day with him tomorrow," he says softly, his eyes holding the same fond smile as before.

"Can he sleep with us?" Harry asks, biting his lip as he looks up to the boy.

"Okay," Louis says softly, leaning down and pecking his lips. "Now c'mon lets get ready for bed."

And so they do, walking to the bathroom. They brush their teeth, use the toilet and change into their pyjamas. They switch up holding the kitten as they change their clothes, then making their way to the bed. Harry waits for Louis to move the blanket enough for him to slip under them with their baby. Harry smiles as he feels the bed dip and a body against his back as Louis lay down as well. They cuddle peacefully, Harry keeping Mittens close to his chest and Louis keeping Harry.

Just like it was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas for the kitten's name, or do you approve of Mittens? x
> 
> All the love,
> 
> S x


	23. Chapter 23

A weird thing about being in love was that you thought about yourself less. It wasn't  _what I want_ but  _what does he want._ It wasn't about what he needed and what was best for him, no. It was what was best for Louis and what would Louis want. Yes, sometimes Harry had to think about himself it was in his nature. But he noticed the change in his everyday life. He wouldn't buy apples as often anymore as Louis wasn't the biggest fan. Instead, he would stock up on bananas, along with occasional mangos. And it was okay since he liked bananas and mangos as well.

He noticed the same change in Louis though. When usually Louis was one to shower in the mornings, he had switched to nights because he wanted to let him sleep as long as he could. He also stopped smoking or at least lessened it because Harry didn't like the smell. They were both making some sacrifices but it was what being in a relationship was all about after all. You wanted to make your significant other happy no matter what.

They did some mutual changes as well. They switched the laundry detergent at Harry's place since they couldn't decide whose scent was better. Harry naturally liked Louis' better just like he liked Harry's more. And as sappy it sounded, Harry swooned at the thought of smelling the same as Louis and if he was being honest their new laundry detergent smelled better than their old ones. They also bought a thicker blanket for them as Harry liked to sleep with the window open and Louis got cold easily. Now they could both sleep easily with the window open.

They also purchased a tiny bed to Prince that they put by the foot of the bed. Oh another thing, they had decided that their small kitten looked more like a Prince than Mittens, so they decided to call their baby that. It was clear that he loved the name as well as every time they would say his name, the kitten would purr and come to them. It was quite funny as he was acting more like a puppy than a kitten, but at least he wasn't hiding in the corners or under the bed.

It felt like the time had passed in a blink of an eye because before Harry even knew it, he was getting ready for his graduation. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was excited to begin a new chapter in his life but it was also quite scary. The safety of the familiarity would fade away in a matter of hours and he would have to step into the unknown. But luckily he had Louis there to take the step with him.

There was one thing that was making him happy-nervous even in the middle of the uncertain time. He and Louis had been going strong for four and half months now, not a single worry ahead of them. Louis was basically already living with him, sharing Harry's living space and the younger boy loved it. He loved it so much that he was going to ask Louis to move in with him for real. He knew that Louis loved his family to death but he also knew that Louis was nineteen, turning twenty in December and was ready to move out from home. Harry wasn't scared of Louis saying no because he knew that if Louis were to say no, he would have a good reason for it. He would also find the right words to break it for him and make sure that Harry was alright.

A soft sound of Prince meowing pulled Harry out of his thoughts. He turns around to face his bed where the kitten was sitting with his eyes on the boy. One thing that was on the verge of being annoying was that the kitten didn't seem to like his bed. He would lay there calmly during the day but the second Harry and Louis would get in bed, he would meow pathetically before one of them lifted him to join them. They both knew that they shouldn't give in, but the sound was so heartbreaking that they simply couldn't help themselves.

"What baby?" Harry asks softly, cooing at the kitten as he walks toward the bed. "Do you miss daddy as well? Don't worry, papa's here for you," he says as he picks Prince up. Harry and Louis had taken as a habit to call themselves daddy and papa to Prince as he was their baby after all. It may have been a bit over the top, but they didn't care. It worked for them, so.

Prince meowed again, nuzzling his face to Harry's shirt. Harry knew that he would have to change his shirt but his baby was more important than one shirt. "Daddy's coming soon, okay? He'll feed you and make sure that you're alright before he comes to me," he says to the kitten even though he knew that he wouldn't understand him.

Louis was working a morning shift so he could be able to come to the graduation party. It wasn't even a full shift, but his coworker had promised to fill in for him so he could go. Harry was thinking about sending him a fruit basket or maybe some cupcakes as a thank you. Yeah, that sounded nice. He keeps Prince in his arms, pressed against his chest as he walks to the kitchen and puts the water boiling. He thought that it'd be a good idea to make some tea to calm down his nerves.

Niall was supposed to come and pick him up in an hour as he would drive past his house anyway. He didn't know if Liam would be there as well, but it wasn't like he cared if that was the case. He had learned to be genuinely and 100 percent happy for the two. He understood how Niall had been focused on Liam in the beginning of their relationship. He knew how it felt to be in love with someone now, so he understood. And the best part was that now they could have double dates. Okay not really as they rather hung out with Zayn in the mix and sometimes Ed as well. And it wouldn't have been the greatest to be all lovey dovey when there were single people thrown into the mix.

While Harry waits for his tea to brew, he gives Prince some food. He knows that they agreed with Louis that he would give the food when he came home from work but the kitten looked up at him with his big eyes and Harry was weak. But it was all worth it as Prince licked softly his wrist as he placed the bowl of food in front of him. He looks at the kitten eat while drinking his tea from his favourite mug. It had become his favourite mug just recently. You see it was an old mug that Louis had made in kindergarten. It was filled with different colour flowers and footballs- it was clear that the little Louis had loved football. But his favourite thing about the mug was the L+H that covered a big part of the front. Louis had scribbled it there before giving it to him, saying how it made it cuter. And well, he was right.

And just like the months, the hour passed by in a blink of an eye and before Harry could properly even register it, he was sitting in the front seat of Niall's car. Turns out that Liam was riding with his parents, hence the absence in the car. They were halfway through the journey when Niall changed their subject.

"Are you nervous?" He asks softly, his eyes on the road.

"Yeah, a little," Harry says nodding. "Are you?" He asks turning to look at his friend. They were wearing similar clothing, they both had straight black pants and dress shirts. The only difference was that Niall's shirt was pale blue while Harry's was pale, baby pink. He had been unsure of his choice until Louis had kissed him and reassured that he was perfect and the shirt would suit him. Of course, Harry had believed him.

"Yeah, but more excited than nervous, I think," Niall says humming. "I mean I'm excited to finally graduate and all but kind of sad as well."

"Why sad?" Harry can't help but ask. Surely he was feeling a bit nostalgic as well but not necessarily sad.

"I and Liam won't be studying at the same school next fall," Niall frowns. "I mean it's not that bad- we'll see each other every day and all, but still it kind of sucks, you know?"

Oh yeah, Niall had been accepted to Cambridge as well. He wanted to study medicine so that was where he wanted to go. "Oh," Harry hums. "But at least you'll have me with you, right?" He says trying to cheer the blonde up. "Like I can't be that bad."

Niall chuckles, "That's the only thing basically what makes me happy about the situation at this point," he says playfully.

"Aw Ni," Harry laughs softly as well. "You're my best friend and I love you," he says genuinely.

"I love you too Haz," Niall says smiling.

They pulled up to the school soon after that. They shared a light smile as they got out and started to make their way toward the building. They were supposed to go and find the room assigned to their class. Once they were there, they would get their robes and hats which they had fitted a week ago. It had been a bit difficult for Harry to find the perfect size. He was slim but his arms were so long that small would've been too short on that department. So he had settled for medium, where his arms were covered and some loose space around his waist.

But it wasn't too bad as some were pretty much drowning in their robes as there weren't small enough sizes for them. The space was filled with chatter as they waited for their signal to get out. Harry wonders if Louis had found his family and was sitting with them. It would've been the ideal situation as then he wouldn't have to arrange more than one search party to find his loved ones.

"Haz, we need to get in line," Niall pulls him out of his thoughts as he nudges his side. Harry looks up and notices how their classmates were moving to stand in a line, completely ignoring the alphabetical order. Not that Harry minded as it meant that he would be able to sit next to Niall.

"Yeah," Harry hums and follows Niall as the blonde makes his way to the end of the line. The only downside for the order ignoring was that they would have some difficulties when going up to get their report cards.

It all goes smoothly though despite Harry's doubts. They all get their own report cards and hear their names to be called. They take their turns shaking the principal's hand as they accept their papers. The crowd cheers on every name called and it's cheesy how Harry thinks that he recognises Louis' voice from all the voices screaming.

Once they all have their report cards they make their way back to their seats and prepare to listen to the speeches from the principal and the students. They are all pretty much filled with the same things. How they had grown so much in the years spent at the school. How it was hard to wake up early on Mondays but so worth it at the end. How they had made friendships that would hopefully last for a life time and how they had learned so much. There was even the cliché comment how they didn't know where they were going but one thing was sure. They could enjoy the day.

The applauses were louder than Harry would've thought them to be. On some cue, they throw their hats to the sky, all except Harry as he misses the subtle cue. He pretends to catch his at the same time as the others and none of them seem to notice his failure except Niall who snickers quietly beside him. He would have to bribe him with some sweets to keep him from talking.

"Can you believe it? It's over now," Niall asks, wrapping his arm around Harry's shoulders as they walk toward the stands where their families were.

"I know, it's crazy," Harry says nodding as they try to navigate their way between the bodies. "In just a few months we'll be attending Cambridge and complain how much easier high school was," he laughs lightly.

"Tell me about it," Niall chuckles as well. "But we have each other there to listen us complaining as well as our wonderful boyfriends."

"That we do," Harry agrees just as they get up to their families. He immediately holds his arms wide open and accepts the hug his mother pulls him into.

"I'm so proud of you sweetie," Anne says happily into his neck as she squeezes him tight. "I can't believe you're all big now."

"Mom-"

"No matter how big or famous you get, you'll always be my baby," she says sounding emotional. "I need a minute," she chuckles thickly as she pulls away.

"Aw mom, I'll always be your baby," Harry says softly, squeezing her lightly before stepping away also.

Harry's attention goes from his mom to Louis who was standing behind her with a fond smile on his face. Next to him stood Robin and Gemma, both of them having proud smiles on their faces. He ignores them in order to hug Louis, who is the closest to him. Louis, of course, returns the hug without a doubt.

"I'm proud of you baby," Louis murmurs against Harry's shoulder, his voice soft.

"Thank you," Harry smiles, nuzzling his face to the crook of Louis' neck. It smelled like home. Their laundry detergent and his cologne, mixed with the natural scent of his skin. It was the best thing he knew.

A voice makes him pull back from the embrace after a moment though. "Okay get a room love birds," Gemma huffs. "I want my hug too."

"And that's what you'll get," Harry smiles, pulling away from his boyfriend and basically attacking his sister with a hug. Ever since he and Louis had been dating, Gemma had started to be more sarcastic with him. And he loved it because it meant that she wasn't afraid of hurting his feelings. She wasn't scared that he'd do something if she said the wrong word.

"You smell odd," Gemma says confused as they pull apart after a few moments. "Have you changed your cologne or something?"

Harry looks at Louis sheepishly before turning back to Gemma. "No, we bought some new laundry detergent," he says grinning proudly.

"Oh my god you guys are so extra!" She exclaims dramatically. "Let me guess- you did that just so you could smell like each other?" She asks clearly planning on teasing them and not thinking that it'd be true. But one look between the two and she realises the case. "Get out of here."

"I think that it's adorable," Louis defends them playfully. "Good rehearsal for the future, yeah? Making compromises and what not," he continues keeping up with the light and playful tone. Harry could see how his mother was falling in love with him more by the second. He couldn't blame her either as he was doing the same thing every day.

 

"Could've done that without being too sappy though," Gemma mumbles under her breath, earning a small slap on the arm by Anne.

"Oh, let them live," she says softly, smiling brightly at the two boys. "Don't you remember what it was like when you were young and in love?"

Gemma looked unimpressed though Harry could see how it was a fake one. "I'm still young and in love, mom, or did you forget my boyfriend?" She asks raising her brows.

"Of course not sweetie," Anne laughs while moving to hug her with one arm. "You know what I mean," she hums before addressing the couple in front of them again. "So are you joining us for lunch Louis? Harry didn't want to make a big deal out of the graduation so we're just going to celebrate by having some lunch just the family."

Louis glances up at Harry to see if he was okay with it and as he didn't see a sign of him being reluctant about it, he smiles and nods. "I would love to join you," he says smiling warmly as he wraps his arm around the boy's waist.

"Can we stop by our flat first, I'd like to change my shirt, it's hot in here?" Harry asks as it seems like everyone is ready to move along.

" _Our_  flat?" Gemma asks curiously, picking up on the small word from the sentence. Harry hadn't even noticed that he had said our instead of mine, so the look on his face was quite comical as he looks at Louis with wide eyes. Louis didn't seem bothered by it the slightest. He still had a simple and warm smile on his lips as he nodded at Gemma.

"Yeah, you see I've been sleeping over a lot for the past few weeks so it's our inside joke if you will," Louis hums lightly. "So no, we haven't moved in together if that's what you were wondering."

_Yet,_ Harry couldn't help but think as he nodded along to Louis words. It was quite clear that Anne was thinking the same thing as she shared a secret smile with him when no one was paying attention. "That's quite okay love, we'll just meet at the restaurant instead?" Anne says brightly while clasping her hands together. "Are you okay with Chinese? We drove past this one place that looked really good," she asks.

"Sounds good to me," Robin joins the conversation and the others nod along. They agree on meeting at the restaurant in half an hour before Louis and Harry are on their way to the flat. The car ride is quiet apart from the music playing quietly in the background. Their hands are joined on the middle console while Louis drives the car. Once they pull up to the apartment building they get out of the car and take the elevator up.

Prince is waiting for them on the door once they enter, his tail slowly swaying from side to side in excitement. They had learned that their baby was a real sweetheart. He didn't mess up the places when he was alone and he was always happy to see them come back home.

"Hi baby," Harry says cooing as he gets down and picks the kitten up. "Sorry we're just dropping by, daddy and papa are going to get some lunch," he explains to the kitten with his baby voice, fully aware that Prince wouldn't understand him but doing so anyway. "Now go to daddy so papa can change his clothes," he says softly as he hands him over to Louis who is waiting with open arms.

He promises to be right back before disappearing to the bedroom and walking to the closet. He changes into a pair of black, high waisted bell bottom pants and a black, three-quarter sleeved shirt that he tucks in. It was one of his favourite outfits that he hadn't gotten around wearing that much yet. It was also one of the outfits Louis had basically forced him to buy because he liked the way it looked on Harry and how much the younger boy had adored it. He gives himself one last look in the mirror before he walks to his nightstand.

He opens the top drawer and pulls out the small velvet box he had put there the night before. Inside of the box was a key to his apartment- well, theirs if Louis says yes. He takes the small box from the drawer and puts it in his pocket, confident that the outline won't look too obvious to an outsider. He checks this however from the mirror, happy to see that the outline was invisible unless you knew what you were looking for. And as far as Harry knows, no one did.

Once he's ready, he leaves the room and walks into the living room where Louis is sitting on the couch with Prince curled against his chest contently. Every time Harry witnesses the two together like this he wants to take a picture and frame it. They just looked so adorable together, that's all.

"Are you ready to go?" Harry asks humming, getting Louis' attention in a matter of seconds. He can see the way his eyes light up the slightest and doesn't miss the once over Louis gives him. He has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning too hard.

"Yes," Louis says clearing his throat after he snaps out of it and stands up. "You look absolutely perfect baby, like wow," he breathes softly, walking slowly closer to Harry, still carrying Prince in his arms. "Definitely one of my favourite outfits on you. Like, how can your waist even look that slim?"

At this point Harry is basically as red as a tomato, sheepishly looking at his boyfriend. "Thank you, though I'm not that slim," he says coyly.

"We don't have to argue about this, but yes you are," Louis says teasingly as he tilts his chin up to bring their lips together for a sweet peck. "Now, let's say good bye to our baby and go and have lunch with your family, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry agrees easily. They both kiss the soft fur on Prince's head and make sure that he has all he needs before they leave the apartment after making sure that the door is properly closed and locked. The drive to the restaurant goes by in a blur and before they know it they are already sitting at the table with their plates full with food.

The lunch has been perfect so far, filled with laughter and happy conversations. They had bumped into Niall and Liam's families when they arrived and spend good twenty minutes talking before going to their own tables. Harry was sitting next to Louis, listening intensively as Louis told his family about his dream of becoming a teacher.

"It's just that I want to make sure the kids have something where they can feel like they belong, you know? To me when I was growing up it was the drama club and the football team. My best mates at the time played with me on the team so I had someone I could count on there but at the drama club, it wasn't like that. I didn't have the same friends there as outside the scene, but I loved it. I loved how everyone got along with each other, how despite the name, the club didn't have any drama in it. People were just so happy all the time. We had the special connection, the unspoken words that we had each other's backs no matter what. They weren't my best friends, they were my family- we were one big family and it was great," Louis rambles with the glint in his eyes that meant that he was completely fond of the subject. The other times Harry had seen it was when he had introduced him to his family a while ago. "Sorry I'm rambling, I guess I'm just passionate about the matter," he chuckles lightly.

"Oh don't apologise," Anne says smiling. "It's lovely to hear you being so passionate about what you want. It'll make you a great teacher some day."

"Thank you, Anne, I really appreciate it," Louis says softly, reaching out for his water and taking a sip before continuing. "I can't thank you enough for how wonderful you have been to me. I can definitely see where Harry has gotten his big heart from."

"You're going to make our mom cry with that kind of talking," Gemma comments, looking like she was about to burst to laugh. "She's very emotional today, as you can see."

Anne laughs delighted, looking at her daughter warmly. "Oh shut it, I have the right to be emotional today. My baby graduated and is happy," she says turning to look at the boys two in front of her. "I should be thanking you Louis for making my baby smile this brightly again."

"I can only hope that I can make him as happy as he makes me Anne. Truly, your son is the best thing ever happened to me."

And Harry takes that as his cue. He stands up without a word, trying not to blush as everyone is suddenly focusing on him only with looks mixed of confusion and surprise. He ignores everyone else but Louis, looking down to the sitting boy who is looking up at him as well.

"Louis," Harry starts, his voice tight making him clear his throat before continuing. "Louis. You know that I love you with all my heart right? And that I would do anything that I can just to see you smile so big that the crinkles appear by your eyes," he says flashing a smile when Louis nods at him. "And I know that this might be soon, but I don't care. Like you told Gemma, you're basically living with me already and we both call it home," he takes a break to breathe in. He keeps his eyes on his boyfriend as he pulls out the small velvet box and opens it to reveal the key. "Would you move in with me and Prince?"

Louis' eyes are wet as he stands up from his seat and wraps his arms around Harry's waist, squeezing him tightly. "Yes, million times yes," Louis murmurs to his shoulder. They can vaguely hear the small cheers from the other guests at the restaurant as well as his family's gasps of awe.

"Well this calls for some dessert," Robin smiles widely, gesturing the waitress to come over so they could order. Louis and Harry share a look and they both know that they'll have a celebration of their own once they're back home.

__

"Welcome home," Harry giggles between the playful kisses they share once they enter the apartment. Prince meows in their feet, forcing the two pull away for a moment. "Hi baby," he smiles down at the kitten. "How can we do anything when our baby is here?"

Louis moves his hand to Harry's cheek and makes him look at him. He flashes a smile before leaning in for a kiss before pulling back. "I have an idea," Louis says humming, getting down onto the floor to pick up Prince. "Can you get his bed from the bedroom?" He asks humming, glancing up at Harry.

Harry nods before leaving the room, walking up to their bedroom and to the bed. He leans down and picks up Prince's bed then carrying it back to the living room where Louis was waiting. He flashes a smile to the duo as he carries the bed over to the couch and places it down. "Is this what you meant?" Harry asks as he looks up to them.

"Yeah," Louis nods as he moves to sit on the edge of the couch. He lowers his arms and settles the kitten down to the bed. He then pulls out a hoodie from the armrest and wraps it around the small ball of fur. "Now our baby is safe and warm. Daddy and papa are just in the other room, no need to be scared," he says softly while the kitten slowly blinks at him.

The look on Harry's face as he follows this is nothing short from fond. "Do you think that he'll let us go?" He asks smiling.

"We'll see," Louis says standing up and walking to him. "Hopefully because I really want to make love to you," he whispers.

They lean in at the same time, meeting in the middle for a deep kiss. Harry wraps his arms around Louis' neck as the older boy moves his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. They share kisses all the way up to the bedroom, closing the door behind them so Prince couldn't wander in. They make their way to the bed, Harry on his back against the mattress and Louis moving on top of him.

The kisses get hot and heavy quite quickly, their tongues studying each other's mouths while they try to get the other naked. They pull apart enough for them both to get out of their shirts and once they're fully naked, skin by skin, they stop. Louis moves his hand softly up and down Harry's side, rememorizing every curve of his body. Harry does the same with Louis' back, loving how soft the skin felt against the tips of his fingers.

"Do you trust me?" Louis asks softly.

"Of course," Harry nods with his voice quiet and soft. "You know I do."

"Okay turn on your front, love," Louis instructs softly, moving to get off of him. He waits for Harry to roll onto his front, then moving to hover on top of him. He reaches for a pillow which he settles under Harry's hips. "Are you comfortable?"

Harry nods, "Yes," he says. "What are you going to do?" He asks softly, shivering slightly as Louis runs his fingers down his back all the way to the curve of his bum.

"Have you ever heard of rimming?" Louis asks as moves to massage his buttocks, spreading his cheeks apart to reveal his hole.

"Yeah," Harry's breath shudders as he nods, anticipation building up in his stomach. "Are you- are you going to?" He asks biting his lip, pushing his bum back the slightest.

"If you want me t-"

"Yes please," Harry nods eagerly, spreading his legs wider apart. "I want you to." He had heard from Niall that being rimmed felt really good, like almost as good as having sex.

"Okay baby, I got you," Louis chuckles softly. He leans down to blow warm air to the skin surrounding the rim, making Harry moan quietly. He spread the cheeks apart further, leaning in and licking a long stripe from his taint and across his rim.

Harry's breathing gets heavy and uneven as he clutches onto the sheets under his fingers. Louis continues to lick around his rim, occasionally sucking on it before pulling back to blow air to the skin. But when he pushes his tongue past the rim, that's when Harry whimpers. He pushes back against Louis' face, wanting more, feeling like he needed more.

"I need you," Harry moans against his arm which he had placed under his head. "Please."

"What do you want baby?" Louis asks softly, massaging his cheeks as he waits for Harry's answer.

Harry's cheeks are softly tinted red as he blushes. "I want you to make love to me," he whispers, looking over his shoulder at Louis. "Please."

Louis leans down to kiss both of his cheeks, kissing up to the dip of his spine and all the way to his shoulders. "You don't have to ask me twice," he says softly as he runs his hands up his sides as well. "Is it okay if I open you up like this?"

"Yes," Harry nods, pursing his lips in a silent ask for a kiss. He gets what he's asking for, relaxing into the familiar feeling of Louis' lips pressed against his. He listens as Louis shuffles around and gets the lube and condom.

He leans against his arms again as Louis opens the lube and covers his pointer finger with it. Louis circles his finger around the rim before pushing in, earning a soft gasp from Harry's lips. He works it in and out slowly, making sure that Harry is relaxed enough to add the second one. It doesn't take long for him to be working three fingers, scissoring them to loosen him further.

"I'm ready," Harry says rolling his hips forward against the pillow, his cock rock hard against his stomach. He almost whines when Louis keeps working his fingers despite his words. Eventually, though he pulls his fingers back wiping them to the sheets.

Harry hears the sound of the condom package being opened and he almost moans at the sound. It doesn't take long before he feels Louis hands against his waist and his breathing down his neck. He closes his eyes as the tip of Louis' cock pushes past the rim, opening him up in the sweetest way.

Like on the first time is uncomfortable at first as Louis pushes into the hilt but it soon turns into pleasure when he starts to move. His thrusts are slow and shallow but they relax Harry's body to the maximum.

Harry pushes back to meet Louis' thrusts at some point, gasping whenever Louis bottoms out. Louis moves his arms around Harry's middle, pressing his forehead between the boy's shoulder blades as he picks up his speed. The sound of skin slapping against skin in loud in the quiet room and it drives Harry absolutely crazy.

Louis' thursts are sharp and deep, driving Harry to the edge quickly. He moans rather loudly as he feels Louis sucking a love bite to his skin, keeping up his pace. He still tries to push back to meet the movements but he's too overwhelmed to keep it up. Instead, he rolls his hips down against the pillow, whimpering softly as all of his senses are filled.

"I'm close," Harry breathes out, keeping his back arched as Louis hits his prostate dead on. "I love you."

"Yeah, baby?" Louis hums picking up the pace. "I love you too baby."

It doesn't take more than a few well-aimed thrusts before Harry is coming between his stomach and the pillow. He bites down to his arm as he comes down from his high and Louis keeps pounding into him. Not too long after Harry, Louis comes as well, filling the condom.

Louis breathes against Harry's neck heavily as he lazily rolls his hips while coming down his high. The kisses against his neck and shoulders make Harry open his eyes and look over his shoulder. Louis smiles sweetly as he pulls out of him, apologising when Harry winces at the sudden emptiness.

"Where are you going?" Harry asks looking at Louis in confusion as he moves off the bed. "Louis?"

"I need to get a towel love, need to wipe you clean," Louis answers softly. "Just a sec okay? I'll be back before you know it."

True to his words, Louis comes back in the matter of seconds carrying a wet towel. He sits down next to the boy, wiping him clean with a light and slow movements. Once he's done, he pulls Harry into his arms and holding him tight. "I love you so much, baby. Can't believe I'm moving in."

"I love you more," Harry whispers as he snuggles closer to the boy. "Should we let Prince in? I think that he needs some loving too."

And that's how they spend the first night as official roommates. Cuddled up on the bed, all three of them, Harry holding Prince while Louis holds Harry. It's perfect like it is supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support through the story! x 
> 
> There will be one or two chapters left, so I ask you, do you want a sequel? :) 
> 
> All the love,
> 
> S x


	24. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is it the last chapter of Unsteady. This story is my first one and therefore it'll always hold a special place in my heart x
> 
> I hope you enjoy x

"Why can't we sleep in the same bed?"

"Because it's a single bed, love, we wouldn't fit on it together."

"But we cuddle either way- you always end up pulling me over your chest so it's basically the same thing. Please? I don't want to sleep alone."

"Don't pout-"

"I'm not pouting."

"Yes you are- can you stop that? You know that I can't help myself when you're giving me that look."

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes-"

"Thank you!" Harry exclaims happily as he attacks Louis with a warm hug. They had just arrived at the Styles family summer house and were in the middle of unpacking their things. In their room was a bunk bed and neither of them was fond of taking the top bed. So, when Louis suggested that they'd throw a coin for the bottom one, Harry had disagreed and wanted to sleep next to him. And in the end, he had won.

"You're welcome love," Louis chuckles softly. "Now how about we finish unpacking and then go to the shore where your mum has put up the breakfast?" He hums smiling.

"Can I have a kiss before we go?" Harry asks humming as he keeps his arms around Louis' neck and smiles softly. He was over the moon to be here with Louis as he had many good memories while growing up around here. He was certain that he'd have them with Louis as well.

In the lieu of answer, Louis leans down and kisses the boy softly, smiling into the kiss. Harry kisses back eagerly, happy to keep it light and sweet with no unnecessary heat forcing it. They pull apart a moment later, leaning in for one last peck before stepping back.

Louis holds his hand out of Harry who takes it without any trace of hesitation and so they make their way downstairs. It's quiet in the house as everyone is outside already and that's where the couple heads as well. They swing their joined hands between them lightly as they venture down the path toward the shore.

Anne had moved a table with the help of Robin to the waterline, along with six chairs. Four out of them were made of wood and painted grey while the two other were plastic and white. The table itself was also grey but made of plastic, so it was like it was a mixed version of the chairs.

When they get closer to the others, Anne stands up from her seat and walks to them with her arms wide open. Harry chuckles lightly as he lets go of Louis' hand and falls into the embrace easily. "Took you long enough," she says playfully as they pull apart and she goes to Louis.

"Had a bit disagreement about the sleeping arrangements," Louis says with a playful glint in his eyes as he accepts Anne's hug easily.

"Oh, really?" Gemma asks smirking over the rim of her cuppa as she looks at them. "And does it have something to do with Harry's excessive need of cuddles?" She asks teasingly.

Harry glares at him, looking like a kitten more than anything else. "Stop it," he says pouting as he feels arms wrapping around his waist. He doesn't have to look to know that it's Louis so he leans against the steady chest, keeping his eyes fixed on his sister.

"Calm down love," Louis chuckles while pressing a kiss on his neck. "You look like Prince when you do that."

"Where's our baby?" Harry asks turning to look at Louis. That's when a soft meow gets his attention, making him snap his eyes to the table where Prince is now sitting on the table in front of Gemma. "Baby Hi, look who's up," he says cooing as he reaches for the kitten.

Prince meows and paws Harry's shirt all until the boy lifts him enough for him to push his face into Harry's neck. It was a weird habit of the kitten was that he always wanted to burrow his head to people's necks. Guess he enjoyed the warmth. "There he is," he smiles while rocking him slightly. He hears some laughing coming in front of him, making him look up to Gemma who was snickering.

"You're acting like a mom or something," she comments.

"Nope, I'm his papa," Harry says matter-of-factly, sticking his tongue out for good measure. "And Louis is his daddy."

At the term used, Gemma almost chokes on her tea before coughing vigorously. "You did not just call your boyfriend that!"

Harry furrows his brows. "What's that bad about me calling Louis daddy- oh! Ew Gemma I don't need to know about your kinks!"

"I don't need to hear about this," Anne says cutting in. "Let's focus on the breakfast, doesn't that sound good," she suggests while walking to the table and sitting down next to Robin.

"You heard the lady, let's eat," Robin says playfully as he settles his arm to the back of Anne's chair. She curls against his chest and Harry looks at them with a smile on his face. It was the kind of love he had always wanted for himself and with Louis, he felt like he was on the right path.

Without continuing the banter, Louis pulls out the chair for Harry to sit down as he was holding their kitten in his arms. The younger boy flashes him a grateful smile as he takes a seat, making sure that Prince was comfortably on his lap before letting go.

He bites back a grin as he feels Louis wrapping his arm around Harry's backrest. It was domestic in his books so he was more than okay with it. Just like his mother, Harry leans slightly over to Louis' side, resting his head on Louis' shoulder. He felt kind of bad for Gemma as she didn't have her boyfriend here with them but she didn't seem to mind too much.

They eat the breakfast in peace, the meal filled with small talk as they relax in the sun with cups of tea in hands. Harry and Louis share funny stories of Prince and all the things they had witnessed him doing. Anne is probably the one laughing the hardest at the story of Prince pushing Harry into the bathtub when he was going to give the kitten a bath. How the kitten managed to do it was a mystery.

"So I was thinking, would you boys like to do some treasure hunting today?" Anne asks once they are all finished with their teas and ready to take the dishes inside. "I remember how you and Gemma used to love that when you were younger."

"It was fun," Harry agrees with a fond smile on his face as he thought back to his childhood. "You always had something to wait forward to with the treasures," he says humming. "Oh, Gems remember that time when Dusty was one of the treasures?" He asks with a huge smile on his face as he looks at Gemma. "We had been begging for a kitten for so long."

"I remember how you started to actually cry when we found her," Gemma comments laughing. "She looked so confused when you were sobbing and holding her tightly against your chest."

Harry blushes lightly, "I did not! And if anything they were happy tears," he defends.

"It's okay love, you teared up a bit when you saw Prince as well," Louis says fondly while rubbing Harry's arm. "But that sounds lovely Anne. I wouldn't mind having a peek to the Styles family traditions."

"It's settled then!" Anne smiles brightly. "Why won't you Harry show Louis around the house while I get everything ready?" She suggests humming.

"You can leave Prince with me if you want to, I wanna see if he'll like Dusty or not," Gemma chimes in. "Imagine how cute they would be."

"Don't talk about my baby starting a relationship Gems, he's only four months old," Harry says with a small pout as he hugs Prince closer. "He needs his parents still so don't even think about playing a matchmaker with my little one."

Louis rubs soothing circles down Harry's back as the boy rambles about their kitten. He has a fond smile on his lips the whole time as he listens to the silly boy and his words. "Cmon love, let Prince get know Dusty. They can be friends even if they are opposite genders," Louis says softly as he moves to take the kitten from Harry. "We should probably go now so your mum can start with the hunt."

Harry watches Louis as the boy hands Prince over the table to Gemma who smiles at the kitten warmly. Prince meows and paws her shirt almost like as a signal that he approves her. It was adorable, making Harry feel slightly bad for leaving before the moment was even over. He waves at the small creature as they make their way to the house.

He lets Louis intertwine their fingers once they can't see the others on the shore anymore. He places his head on Louis' shoulder as they walk, enjoying the quiet sounds of nature. Even as a little boy he had always loved being outside. No one could judge him and he had time to himself in the silence. He enjoyed it.

"So about the treasure hunting," Louis says humming. "What's the deal? Like do we get maps or clues or something?" He asks curiously.

"My mom will give us clues one at the time like we can't get the next clue before we've found the treasure," Harry explains smiling.

"Oh, so we can't skip a hard one then? Like if we can't figure out a clue then that's it?" Louis asks as they climb up the stairs. "Your mom is evil, you know that right?" He asks playfully.

"She is," Harry giggles as they enter the house. "Can we cuddle before we start the whole thing? I know that I was supposed to show you around the house but I rather want cuddles."

Louis smiles as he hugs the boy, "Of course we can," he says softly. "My little baby wants to be held," he says teasingly as they make their way toward the bedroom. Harry doesn't comment on it, just pulls Louis along with him toward the bed and down on it.

The younger boy eagerly curls up against Louis' chest and sighs contently. The ride there had been a long one so it didn't take long before Harry was already yawning and feeling tired Louis runs his fingers up and down the boy's back, coaxing him into sleep before following suit falling asleep.

-

"Okay, are you ready for your first clue?" Anne asks grinning as they stand in the kitchen. "This one's more for Harry, but you might figure out as well," she hums while looking at Louis. "So the clue: this is something that I want white every year without exception."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Harry asks furrowing his brows. "You've never told me that."

"I have an idea," Louis says humming before pulling Harry out of the house and down the stairs. "So, we're going to search everything white we see and see if we got it right," he says determinedly.

"But isn't that going to take forever?" Harry asks while following Louis to the first thing they can see that is white. It just happens to be a flower batch, unluckily not the white thing they were looking for.

"It'll take us longer if we just stand around and wait for the idea to hit us," Louis says humming as he looks around for something white. "And this way we're already doing something. If we suddenly realise what she means then we can go straight there. But for now, we can try and find the damn thing."

Harry doesn't have time to say anything to that before he is already being dragged toward the white wall of their cabin. They search around for a while, running out of white places when it hits Harry. "Oh! My mom is really precise of the flower pots that are on the shed's wall. And guess what colour they are," he says grinning.

"White," Louis smiles brightly. They basically run to the shed, checking each pot until they find it. The treasure is a piece of paper, both of the boys confused when they open it up.

_You found me, great! Now your next clue is: I have two ropes because you couldn't do me with one._

While Harry reads the clue out loud with his eyebrows furrowed, Louis looks around. "Okay and I thought that the first one was a tough one," Harry mumbles as he pockets the clue.

"I'm not quite sure of that," Louis mumbles before taking a hold of Harry's wrist and leading him on. "I mean I might be reaching but could it be the flagstaff? Like, you need two ropes to lift the flag up, you couldn't do it with just one, right?" He hums while looking over at Harry.

"How the hell did you come up with that?" Harry asks with wide eyes as they make their way straight toward the flagstaff.

"I don't know, it just caught my attention when you were reading the clue," Louis says shrugging. "And I might be wrong so don't have to praise me just yet," he adds playfully just as they arrive at the flagstaff.

It turns out that Louis was indeed right and between the two ropes there's another piece of paper and two cookies. They unwrap the cookies from the plastic wrap and munch them while reading the next clue.

_Enjoying the small treasure? Good, the next one will be even nicer! Now riddle me this: What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?_

"Okay, your mom is indeed evil. How does she come up with these?" Louis asks while taking the note from Harry and reading it over again. "Any ideas what it might be?" He asks, looking up at the younger boy.

Harry shakes his head. "No idea," he says. "It can't be your clothes or anything you own, right? Like that wouldn't make sense," he thinks out loud before biting his lip. "Could it be like your secrets or something?"

"I don't know. Would you use my secrets more than I do?" Louis asks humming, clearly coming up with nothing. "That's a good suggestion but how could it give away a place that holds the treasure?"

"Yeah you're right," Harry says, pursing his lips. "Why do I feel like it's something really obvious and we're just completely missing it?" He asks humming.

"I'm agreeing with you," Louis says nodding as he looks around the place for any clues. If we asked your mom nicely, would she give us any tips?"

"We could always try but I don't think that she will," Harry says. "We can figure this out, I trust us, Lou."

"This is so hard! Like the only thing that comes to my mind is your name but that can't be it-"

"No Louis that's exactly what it is!" Harry exclaims enthusiastically before turning around and starting to walk. "You see me and Gemma carved our names into a tree next to our old tree house when it got taken down. It was old and broken- but anyway, I think that it could be the tree."

"Well, we have nothing to lose so," Louis hums nodding as he stumbles behind his boyfriend. Once again they rush toward the tree, basically panting once they're there. They quickly find the tree and the treasure which is, once again a note, two cookies and a coupon for a free meal in Mc Donalds.

Harry laughs as he pockets the coupon while Louis focuses on getting the note and the cookies free. They share the cookies, then focusing on the clue. Neither of them is surprised that once again it doesn't make sense.

_Only two more go! Better watch your step when you walk down the path._

"This one's easy we just need to go over all the paths and looks down," Louis says smiling. "How many paths you have around here?"

"Um," Harry says biting his lip. He thinks about their summer house and the surrounding area. "Like four? Yeah, four main paths and one or two that me and Gemma have made when we were little."

"Okay so six paths and we'll be done," Louis grins, linking their finger and letting Harry lead them on. They both keep their eyes on the ground, trying to find anything that looked like a piece of paper. They walk slowly, careful with every step.

The first two paths turn out to be dead ends as well as the third one. Louis suggests that they take the opposite ends of the fourth one and meet in the middle to save time and that's what they do. Harry walks slowly and lets his eyes roam the path and the bushes along with it. By the time he's reaching the halfway a small white dot catches his attention maybe a foot away. He walks to it quickly, smiling brightly as he picks up the note.

Harry looks up and calls for Louis who comes running. This time it was only the piece of paper as the treasure so they don't waste any time opening it.

_The last one, are you ready? Your clue is: 2 4 6. Good luck!_

They look up at the same time and share a confused look. "Do you know what the numbers stand for?" Louis asks while Harry looks down at the paper.

"I have no idea," Harry says shrugging. "I mean the next number would be eight, so maybe that means something?" He suggests.

"What do you have eight around here?" Louis asks humming. "Like eight flower pots? No, you have more than that... um, eight beds? Or do you have more?" He asks while looking around for clues.

Harry shakes his head. "No, we have eight beds but mom never hides the treasures inside," he says pursing his lips. "Could it be a part of the license plate? Like if the treasure is by the cars?"

"Yeah, I mean it's worth the shot,"  Louis says nodding.

And so they're on the move again, making their way down the path toward the cars. Gemma had just bought a new car so it was possible that the numbers would be connected to that. They were wrong however as none of the cars have the numbers on their license plates. They sit down on the hood of Louis' car as they think about the clue.

"I mean if you add them together, it's twelve," Louis says pursing his lips. "But that can't be it.."

"Yeah I don't know if we have twelve of anything," Harry chuckles. He leans his head against Louis' shoulder and smiles. "You know this is fun, I love to have you here with me."

Louis smiles as he leans down and kisses the boy's temple. "I love to be here with you too," he says softly. "This is fun even if the clues are hard as fuck," he chuckles.

"I love you," Harry says softly, tilting his head to press their lips together. "Now the clue, yeah? Two plus four is six, right? So we could try and think about how that would be a clue."

"Okay," Louis hums before leaving another kiss on Harry's lips and sitting up. "Let's brainstorm. Could it be like two things next to four and that would make it six?" He asks humming. "Oh! I got it!" He says suddenly. "The chairs in the shore- no wait there are five chairs..."

"No, Lou there are six chairs!" Harry exclaims grinning as he slides down from the hood. "Let's go then, I want to see what the main treasure is, cmon," he rushes the boy.

Louis follows suit sliding down and jogging to Harry. They link their hands and make their way to the shore, both excited to see what was waiting for them by the table. They swing their hands between them. Harry has a small skip in his step as they get closer to the shore.

"Aren't you excited," Louis says smiling fondly.

"I am," Harry says simply, looking at him with a smile. "You can't say that you aren't excited too. This is the thing we've been doing this whole search thing for."

"I am, I just think that you're adorable with that little skip in your step," Louis says smiling.

"I don't have a skip in my step."

"You do," Louis grins, "and it's adorable."

"Whatever," Harry says sticking his tongue out at the boy. "I'm not going to argue about this with you because I know that I don't," he rambles on.

"I love you," Louis says fondly, wrapping his arm around the boy's waist and pulling him closer. "Especially when you have that adorable skip in your step."

"I don't have a skip in my step," Harry mumbles, accepting the light kiss Louis presses on his lips. "But I love you too."

Louis chuckles lightly but keeps quiet as they arrive at the shore. He lets go of Harry as the younger boy rushes to the table, looking over the chairs. He follows him and helps the younger boy, checking the two chairs that Harry didn't check. He finds the small black velvet box he had given to Anne before, hiding it behind his back as Harry comes to him.

"I guess we were wrong," Harry pouts sitting down next to Louis. "What could it be?" He asks furrowing his brows.

Louis turns around and gets down on one knee in front of the boy, settling his hands on the boy's thighs. "Love, this is the right place," Louis says softly, smiling at the boy warmly. Harry furrows his brows as he looks down at him.

"What do you mean? We didn't find anything," he says pouting.

"Yeah, we did," Louis says smiling as he pulls the box from behind his back and holds it up to Harry to see. "You see I kind of planned the surprise with your mom. Not the place where she hid it but the idea of it being the greatest treasure."

"Louis-"

"Let me finish, okay?" Louis says softly, intertwining their fingers and bringing the back of Harry's palm to his lips. "You know that I love you and I'm really grateful to have you and live with you. And we have our little family and I can't wait to have an actual baby with you," he smiles. "And I want you to have this as a sign of my love," he says while holding up the velvet box.

"Louis, really-"

"Baby, please? Let me finish," Louis chuckles. He opens the box and shows the ring to the boy. It was made of silver and slim with some rough edges. "This is not an engagement ring or anything. This is a promise ring," he says softly. "With this ring, I promise to love you forever and give you a real ring some day. So Harry Edward Styles, will you take this ring and my promise?"

Harry tears up slightly as he looks down at the boy he loves and the beautiful ring in the box. "Louis- wait I can talk now, right?"

"Yes, you can talk," Louis chuckles with slightly wet eyes.

"Good," Harry smiles biting his lip. "I love you too- and I want that. I want the ring and you and your promise. Sorry, I don't know what to say," he says with a wet laugh. "I love you and I know that I'm gonna marry you some day," he says smiling as he holds his left hand out for the boy.

"I love you so much you silly boy," Louis says grinning as he takes the ring from the velvet box and holds it out. "Can I put it on your ring finger? Like it's not that weird if I do, right?"

Harry nods, "Yeah you can. It's not that weird," he says as he looks at Louis who slides the ring onto his finger. He covers his mouth with his right hand and looks down to the ring. "God I love you so much," he says before cupping Louis' face and kisses him.

The kiss is sweet and loving, Louis moving his arms around Harry's waist and pulling him closer. They're both smiling like crazy into the kiss, both of them thinking about their future. How they would live together in a pastel coloured house with a white picket fence on the yard. How they would have kids running around the house. How they would fall asleep in each other's arms after whispering I love you's.

What they didn't even realise that they were already halfway there. They were in love, living together and they had a small kitten to take care of. And it would only get better. How couldn't it? They had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over and I feel sad like this is now finished. Like I said earlier I might do a sequel to this at some point but I don't know yet. I have a few ideas for future fics, so we'll see x
> 
> I want to thank you all for your amazing support, without you I wouldn't have had the courage to do this x I hope that you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing x
> 
> All the love,
> 
> S x


	25. Chapter 25

Hello again my lovely readers! Did you miss me because I surely missed you lot :) x

So I've decided to write a three part epilogue slash sequel to this story and I plan on posting the first part of it either around Christmas or in the very beginning of next year. I hope that some of you are interested as I'm thrilled to carry out all the things I've planned with it!

Now for the little details: if you're interested on reading it, would you like me to continue it on to this book or create a new one for it? Or does it even matter haha?

Let me know what you think!

All the love,

S x

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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